
truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685




Posted by truecap
I have read about 100 threads that say something along the lines of "he/she did this and this and that and I think they are testing me".
I just want to say rude, disrespectful, inconsiderate behavior is NOT a TEST.
Listen up: This is not a test! Rude, disrespectful behavior is just that. Rude, disrespectful behavior.
Anyone who likes you will not display rude, disrespectful, inconsiderate behavior. And this should be a deal breaker.
Why aren't these folks practicing their OWN tests? If someone behaves in an inconsiderate behavior, why aren't they ruling them out instead of finding excuses for it?





Posted by djbuck1
As you asked for examples TC, I'll offer this one that I have encountered more than once: leaving a diary or journal around, waiting to see if the other person will read it. One female (I hesitate to say "woman") left a diary out, with a hair wrapped around it (she actually told me later that she had done this). I did see the diary (she left it in the bathroom), though not the hair as I had no interest in the thing.
I made "points" with her. She lost them with me.


Posted by tiki33
LOL@I just want to say rude, disrespectful, inconsiderate behavior is NOT a TEST.
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you...for pointing this out
Now if you can get these thirsty ass females to grasp and comprehend this we'll be one step closer to a better world.




Posted by rockyroadicecream
I'd like to know what the hell makes so many women so desperate to be in a relationship. Why do they see it as validation of their own self worth?

Posted by Damnata
A while ago I used to think..oh ok this person is testing me because maybe they had bad experiences/are insecure/don't know me yet/don't trust me yet. I never stuck around for bad behavior but I did let a lot of stuff slide because nothing was over the top. I'd try to understand the mindset at play and give room for the relationship to unfold on its own. Didn't care about failing or passing and still don't. All the over thinking I was doing was unnecessary on my part and a lot of it was me trying to make this person somehow fit into my life.
If it does not fit, it does not fit and no amount of reasoning will ever make it fit. When I see testing nowadays it just spells one thing for me "I don't trust you/ I will not let myself be vulnerable for whatever reason and I need you to prove yourself first". All of that is a dead end for me. If you don't trust me, I don't care about your tests or about you in general. No trust = Nothing we have is real so there's no point for me to indulge in the delusion further. I walk away.
Life is hard as it is..the problems that any couple will come across will happen at some point. I can't waste my energy on tests when my focus is to use that energy and that of my partner's to get through the low points in life and come out stronger from it.
Genuine, organic flow does not lend itself to tests. I'm after that.

Posted by truecap
Some people test very well, because they recognize the test and know its a test, so they do what they're supposed to do - doesn't mean they are trustworthy though.




Posted by truecap
I have read about 100 threads that say something along the lines of "he/she did this and this and that and I think they are testing me".
I just want to say rude, disrespectful, inconsiderate behavior is NOT a TEST.
Listen up: This is not a test! Rude, disrespectful behavior is just that. Rude, disrespectful behavior.
Anyone who likes you will not display rude, disrespectful, inconsiderate behavior. And this should be a deal breaker.
Why aren't these folks practicing their OWN tests? If someone behaves in an inconsiderate behavior, why aren't they ruling them out instead of finding excuses for it?




Posted by munchkin
They see you as some disposable product to "test out".

Posted by UndinePosted by munchkin
They see you as some disposable product to "test out".
Testing helps getting to know each other better. Surely someone could "fail", but it doesn't imply they will be dumped. Who's going to spend any mental energy on something as elaborate as a test, if they are not 100% into you ? It could also be a way to let them know how imaginative, creative, playful, mischievous and original you are. Actually, these were the words of a Sag after he got "tested". Some actually like it!
click to expand






Posted by truecapPosted by rockyroadicecream
I'd like to know what the hell makes so many women so desperate to be in a relationship. Why do they see it as validation of their own self worth?
I guess it feels good to them to think they "passed the test". That, and they are in denial that he's mistreating them by coming up with an excuse (a.k.a. reason) for the behavior.
*shrugs*click to expand

Posted by rockyroadicecream
I'd like to know what the hell makes so many women so desperate to be in a relationship. Why do they see it as validation of their own self worth?




Posted by tizianiPosted by aquavita
i "test" by offering a threesome. as tempting as it could be, that tells me the man wants more than i can give him. i have to say Cancer male was the only one who ditched the proposal right away. but he was the only one who gave me sex enough for a 10some.
Ouf, that's cruel.click to expand

Posted by RainDancer88
Honestly, this sounds bad (it is bad) but it's the truth.
When I said I didn't see the harm in testing someone it was because I was tested and I failed. Not like I needed to "earn him" or "prove myself" none of that bullshit...
I told a white lie and he went out of his way to verify it, confront me, and talk to me about trust. I deserved to have this lesson. I am glad he pointed it out to me. Only a true friend will tell you when you have a booger...So at times I think there is validity in the theory of testing someone. I was tested and failed but through failing we learn.
Que sera

Posted by chemengin
'testing' is a form of manipulation plain and simple.

Posted by UndinePosted by chemengin
'testing' is a form of manipulation plain and simple.
Unbelievable, coming from someone working in a "chem lab".
So ...do you manipulate your data instead of testing to find out the truth...?!
SMHclick to expand



Posted by aquasnoz
Isn't courting/dating just another form of manipulation 🙂

Posted by RainDancer88
So there ya have it. Testing does not always have a bad outcome, I am thankful instead. Gosh, I hated that I betrayed his trust over something so small, I hate letting anyone down.

Posted by chemenginPosted by UndinePosted by chemengin
'testing' is a form of manipulation plain and simple.
Unbelievable, coming from someone working in a "chem lab".
So ...do you manipulate your data instead of testing to find out the truth...?!
SMH
LMAO...Seriously—??click to expand


Posted by DamnataPosted by aquasnoz
Isn't courting/dating just another form of manipulation 🙂
Well yeah, water venus.
It boils down to intent.
+
Some people open up at a different pace than others do..depending on life experiences. Those folks can be viewed as testing people in a certain light..but it's just people opening up slowly. I just don't think that between two folks who have genuine chemistry/attraction..either will go off and wander "hmm I wonder if they're testing me". I don't think the thought would cross the mind at all.click to expand



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I just want to say rude, disrespectful, inconsiderate behavior is NOT a TEST.
Listen up: This is not a test! Rude, disrespectful behavior is just that. Rude, disrespectful behavior.
Anyone who likes you will not display rude, disrespectful, inconsiderate behavior. And this should be a deal breaker.
Why aren't these folks practicing their OWN tests? If someone behaves in an inconsiderate behavior, why aren't they ruling them out instead of finding excuses for it?