the one that got away

I recently got dumped from a woman I so very much loved. We had planned out our whole future; dreamed it and we excited to be going to college this fall.
She broke up with me on the 13th of January, this year.

Days before we were fine, but she left me saying "Im just not happy anymore, we can still be friends. I still need you in my life"

I know now that we had communication issues; we didn't say what bothered us, even the smallest things. And I should've respected her wishes when she didn't want to kiss or stuff. She should've told me what bothered her, what made her jealous.

We dated 3 1/2 years. from october 2008 to jan. 2012

I feel she's the one that got away.... Should I still have hopes we can be together again? OR just give up?
She started to date the day after we broke up

Posted by 25thDecan
she isn't the one that got away. She's the one you sincerely need to avoid in the future. You're probably young...so here's the bit:
1) grieve the relationship for a short while. Be single. Prepare for school. Get your mind focused on VORACIOUSLY studying and finding a niche or enterprise within your major.
2) find a hobby...a real one
3) find campus organizations related to your hobby
4) join those organizations...ALONE.
5) though you should do this now before #1: burn mementos, pics, etc of her. All of it. If she bought you something...burn it. Do NOT go to college looking for a girlfriend. Meet chicks and hang out with them. If you want to have sex, wear protection, do things in moderation and do NOT seek a steady girlfriend or try to maintain one. Most chicks you will meet are on that wavelength...if not, they're nuts or very good manipulators like your ex. Never have contact with her again...even IF she reaches out to you in the future. This might hurt but she is NOT AT ALL the person you thought she was.
Follow my advice and you will begin to enjoy yourself on your terms. Welcome to adulthood. Gf's are NOT the answer to anything in life.

Read that again...


Follow it.

Posted by 25thDecan
she isn't the one that got away. She's the one you sincerely need to avoid in the future. You're probably young...so here's the bit:
1) grieve the relationship for a short while. Be single. Prepare for school. Get your mind focused on VORACIOUSLY studying and finding a niche or enterprise within your major.
2) find a hobby...a real one
3) find campus organizations related to your hobby
4) join those organizations...ALONE.
5) though you should do this now before #1: burn mementos, pics, etc of her. All of it. If she bought you something...burn it. Do NOT go to college looking for a girlfriend. Meet chicks and hang out with them. If you want to have sex, wear protection, do things in moderation and do NOT seek a steady girlfriend or try to maintain one. Most chicks you will meet are on that wavelength...if not, they're nuts or very good manipulators like your ex. Never have contact with her again...even IF she reaches out to you in the future. This might hurt but she is NOT AT ALL the person you thought she was.
Follow my advice and you will begin to enjoy yourself on your terms. Welcome to adulthood. Gf's are NOT the answer to anything in life.

Very good advice...
Yeah I'm a senior in high school.
It's just difficult. I still care about her.
And seeing her with another guy so soon just makes me feel like I didn't matter. Or that she's in a real quick rebound.
I see them all on eachother, cuddling, kissing, hugging. Hickies.
I see it all, not because I want too, but we have classes together, I see them in the hallways, I see them in clubs we are in.
Their going to college together now, and, though I really do want her happy, I really hope they don't stay together forever, get married and have that life we once dreamed about...

Yeah your all right. Thanks for the advice, really. I probably won't even care once a few months go by.
And if she comes back to me?

Posted by 25thDecan
she isn't the one that got away. She's the one you sincerely need to avoid in the future. You're probably young...so here's the bit:
1) grieve the relationship for a short while. Be single. Prepare for school. Get your mind focused on VORACIOUSLY studying and finding a niche or enterprise within your major.
2) find a hobby...a real one
3) find campus organizations related to your hobby
4) join those organizations...ALONE.
5) though you should do this now before #1: burn mementos, pics, etc of her. All of it. If she bought you something...burn it. Do NOT go to college looking for a girlfriend. Meet chicks and hang out with them. If you want to have sex, wear protection, do things in moderation and do NOT seek a steady girlfriend or try to maintain one. Most chicks you will meet are on that wavelength...if not, they're nuts or very good manipulators like your ex. Never have contact with her again...even IF she reaches out to you in the future. This might hurt but she is NOT AT ALL the person you thought she was.
Follow my advice and you will begin to enjoy yourself on your terms. Welcome to adulthood. Gf's are NOT the answer to anything in life.

Excellent advice!!! And this girl of yours is toxic. I bet you anything that she secured a relationship with the rebound dude before leaving you aka cheated on you. Just be glad she had very lil decency to leave you with "I'm not happy with you anymore" rather than "I'm not happy with you anymore because I have another guy lined up that's giving me plenty of honeymooner attention". She did you a favor. Be glad.

Oh and I forgot to mention that I find all these dxp guys looking out for you on dxp to be endearing!! Some of these dxpers can be better friends than real life ones 🙂 kudos to u boys, especially 25decan for that good advice.

I agree, excellent advice. Get your shit together (not that you don't have it together because you are only 18), but USE your time wisely. She gave you a gift wrapped in homeless guy's newspaper. But the gift of freedom to move onwards from her is the best thing that could have happened to her. If she just up and left you like that - there was no deeper connection (that it appears you believe was there). Girls that FEEL things for a guy don't just up and leave to check out the grass on the other side of the fence. I am by no means putting her down - she's young too - and entitled to play the field. Don't get into any rush, like 25thDecan said, to get yourself tied down any time soon. Involvement is key. It will show you how much the world has to offer. And trust me - http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/>the world has a lot to offer. A LOT! 🙂 - best of luck!

What likely happened is that she's realized she's not lesbian, and should probably try cock.


she's probably been trying to tell you for a while, but, Aquas, such as yourself, usually don't wear their listening ears ... so she's probably been talking to herself in your presence.



And boys .... this is a girl you are talking to, not a dude.




::::: shakes head :::::

Posted by HazardousWalk
Days before we were fine, but she left me saying "Im just not happy anymore, we can still be friends. I still need you in my life"

Pffft, wouldn't that be convenient... FOR HER. Don't give her the satisfaction. And what do you mean "I should've respected her wishes when she didn't want to kiss or stuff." Lol was she an Aqua by any chance? 😛

Yea, P is right.. she probably wants to date guys, maybe she was confused on her sexuality or she is bi. Have fun in college, meet new girls and dont look back!

Posted by 25thDecan
she isn't the one that got away. She's the one you sincerely need to avoid in the future. You're probably young...so here's the bit:
1) grieve the relationship for a short while. Be single. Prepare for school. Get your mind focused on VORACIOUSLY studying and finding a niche or enterprise within your major.
2) find a hobby...a real one
3) find campus organizations related to your hobby
4) join those organizations...ALONE.
5) though you should do this now before #1: burn mementos, pics, etc of her. All of it. If she bought you something...burn it. Do NOT go to college looking for a girlfriend. Meet chicks and hang out with them. If you want to have sex, wear protection, do things in moderation and do NOT seek a steady girlfriend or try to maintain one. Most chicks you will meet are on that wavelength...if not, they're nuts or very good manipulators like your ex. Never have contact with her again...even IF she reaches out to you in the future. This might hurt but she is NOT AT ALL the person you thought she was.
Follow my advice and you will begin to enjoy yourself on your terms. Welcome to adulthood. Gf's are NOT the answer to anything in life.

Word coming from a very wise man....listen....heed....and follow. 🙂

Posted by aquaj
There goes P-Angel, with her sensitivity and graciousness, always respectful of the fact that she is talking to emotionally vulnerable teenagers😄 Oh, you mean she's known to do none of those things? You mean there's threads about it too?

Where are P-Angel's posts? Oh yeh-I forgot I blocked her. I can't see them! hee hee

Posted by P-Angel
What likely happened is that she's realized she's not lesbian, and should probably try cock.


she's probably been trying to tell you for a while, but, Aquas, such as yourself, usually don't wear their listening ears ... so she's probably been talking to herself in your presence.



And boys .... this is a girl you are talking to, not a dude.




::::: shakes head :::::

Yeah, I probably should've specified that.... Sorry
I'm a girl, but honestly, all this advice seems to be pretty good in either case...

I'm a girl, who dated a girl and who left me after 3 1/2 years, dating her "best friend" a day afterwards, who is a guy.
This guy liked her forever. Yes.

I don't know, I just feel that we honestly could've had it all. I mean just nights before, even the day of the break up, we were talking about the future and being fun.

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by HazardousWalk
Days before we were fine, but she left me saying "Im just not happy anymore, we can still be friends. I still need you in my life"

Pffft, wouldn't that be convenient... FOR HER. Don't give her the satisfaction. And what do you mean "I should've respected her wishes when she didn't want to kiss or stuff." Lol was she an Aqua by any chance? 😛

click to expand

lol, no she's a pisces, i am an aqua. and the guy she is now dating is a sag

TheLadySagittarius: I'll try :3 I already have a lot of college friends so it shouldn't be too bad!!

aquaj: Thank you very much 🙂

NikkiMse1978: I've been hearing this is amazing advice. I'd love to follow, just stupid emotions and thoughts are bluring my senses e_e (oh ho! I'm from Chicago too, thought that was pretty cool)


I guess all in all, I just feel stupid. I wish we could still the dreams and stuff we had. I understand she's probably in the "honeymoon" stage, and being extremely intimate so fast because it's probably hard to go from completely intimate to completely single. I just wonder "does she even give a care or think about me at all? think of what we had?"

Still, I find myself cringing and think about the good times; times i am greatful for but wishing there was more.
It's an achievement to be in a relationship that long in high school (an interracial lesbian one with society, parent and school restricitions)

I actually have another thread going on about astrology compatibility. It's under Aquarious, titiled "Help please? Aquarious and Pisces or...." If any of you would like to anserw there too.

Posted by HazardousWalk
lol, no she's a pisces, i am an aqua. and the guy she is now dating is a sag

A Pisces chick not wanting to snuggle.... Ok, what did you do wrong? 😛

Posted by HazardousWalk

Very good advice...
Yeah I'm a senior in high school.
It's just difficult. I still care about her.
And seeing her with another guy so soon just makes me feel like I didn't matter. Or that she's in a real quick rebound.
I see them all on eachother, cuddling, kissing, hugging. Hickies.
I see it all, not because I want too, but we have classes together, I see them in the hallways, I see them in clubs we are in.
Their going to college together now, and, though I really do want her happy, I really hope they don't stay together forever, get married and have that life we once dreamed about...

Posted by P-Angel
What likely happened is that she's realized she's not lesbian, and should probably try cock.


she's probably been trying to tell you for a while, but, Aquas, such as yourself, usually don't wear their listening ears ... so she's probably been talking to herself in your presence.



And boys .... this is a girl you are talking to, not a dude.




::::: shakes head :::::

HAHAHAHA.....no wonder HE/SHE came in here so openly.



Anyways she'll find another ham-wallet, eventually.
Dont we all.

Posted by wgamador2

Women are sneaky as fuck, everynight after you got off the phone, she couldnt wait to call her real special guy. The shit is fucked up.

****** insert foot into mouth *******



This is a CHIC !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, you realized then .... I digress

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by wgamador2

Women are sneaky as fuck, everynight after you got off the phone, she couldnt wait to call her real special guy. The shit is fucked up.

****** insert foot into mouth *******



This is a CHIC !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

click to expand

How the fuck was i supposed to know that ? hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It sounded like an 18 year old boy who just had some other guy steal his fish-sandwich.

Posted by 25thDecan
So the op is female....who cares? Look...my advice still stands. A gf....companion is NOT the answer to quality of life and experience irregardless of your sexuality. You are YOU. You are not some "thing" to be judged by others, scrutinized for quirks or mistreated for being WHO YOU ARE. And wg is right...step 1 was to talk about it to people who've been there. Follow my advice, please and since you're a senior, get in contact with the lgbt alliance on campus. Peace to you, young one.

Thank you so much 🙂 Your advice is really helping me out. You got me out of thinking so negativly. Thank you again!

Thanks to all of you actually. Opened my eyes a bit.
Now I just feel stupid that this was all some plan for them to get together... e_e probably was
eh, that'll be for some other time

Posted by HazardousWalk
Thanks to all of you actually. Opened my eyes a bit.
Now I just feel stupid that this was all some plan for them to get together... e_e probably was
eh, that'll be for some other time

Keep your chin up, ladybug.

Posted by wgamador2

Posted by HazardousWalk
Thanks to all of you actually. Opened my eyes a bit.
Now I just feel stupid that this was all some plan for them to get together... e_e probably was
eh, that'll be for some other time

Keep your chin up, ladybug.

click to expand

C: I'll try, thank you

For future reference .... Pisces people comprehend that their souls are androgynous, so they will have a tendancy to not get that they are specifically gendered.

Posted by P-Angel
For future reference .... Pisces people comprehend that their souls are androgynous, so they will have a tendancy to not get that they are specifically gendered.

Mmm really? She was EXTREMELY feminine. Curves and obbsessed with makeup and fashion.
The only "boy" thing was her addiction to video games (which I have too so it was pretty neat)

Posted by HazardousWalk

Posted by P-Angel
For future reference .... Pisces people comprehend that their souls are androgynous, so they will have a tendancy to not get that they are specifically gendered.

Mmm really? She was EXTREMELY feminine. Curves and obbsessed with makeup and fashion.
The only "boy" thing was her addiction to video games (which I have too so it was pretty neat)

click to expand

That's not what I meant. You are referring to the material aspects of life, which belong to the ego.

I'm talking about the soul. Pisces aren't straight, gay nor bi ... they consider themselves to all inclusive.

so, my point is .. when she was with you, she wasn't in a lesbian relationship, and now with her boyfriend she isn't in a heterosexual relationship ......


... she is simply in a life experience, and she likely won't "get" the difference if brought up.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by HazardousWalk

Posted by P-Angel
For future reference .... Pisces people comprehend that their souls are androgynous, so they will have a tendancy to not get that they are specifically gendered.

Mmm really? She was EXTREMELY feminine. Curves and obbsessed with makeup and fashion.
The only "boy" thing was her addiction to video games (which I have too so it was pretty neat)

That's not what I meant. You are referring to the material aspects of life, which belong to the ego.

I'm talking about the soul. Pisces aren't straight, gay nor bi ... they consider themselves to all inclusive.

so, my point is .. when she was with you, she wasn't in a lesbian relationship, and now with her boyfriend she isn't in a heterosexual relationship ......


... she is simply in a life experience, and she likely won't "get" the difference if brought up.

click to expand

She told me at the breakup, that she doesn't see gender as a barrier as to who she would rather date. "it's about who can keep me happy, and who I like better"
...

Posted by aquaj

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by HazardousWalk

Posted by P-Angel
For future reference .... Pisces people comprehend that their souls are androgynous, so they will have a tendancy to not get that they are specifically gendered.

Mmm really? She was EXTREMELY feminine. Curves and obbsessed with makeup and fashion.
The only "boy" thing was her addiction to video games (which I have too so it was pretty neat)

That's not what I meant. You are referring to the material aspects of life, which belong to the ego.

I'm talking about the soul. Pisces aren't straight, gay nor bi ... they consider themselves to all inclusive.

so, my point is .. when she was with you, she wasn't in a lesbian relationship, and now with her boyfriend she isn't in a heterosexual relationship ......


... she is simply in a life experience, and she likely won't "get" the difference if brought up.

Hmmm.... I wonder what the reason is that so many Aquas are gays. No, not bisexuals - gays. Aquas can commit to something.

In any case, your theory explains why my mom found out her ex/sometimes-still boyfriend liked the occasional cockatoo... he's a Pisces.

click to expand

that's pretty interesting 🙂

Yeah Ellen took it hard I heard.

Anne Heche was a loon though.

This thread happily makes me think about my ex-Pisces taking it up the ass. 😄

To the OP, times are tough and your emotions are as raw as they'll ever be. It actually does get easier after you've been through it a few times in that you know what to expect and how best to cope.

25th gave you some excellent advice that really needs no adding to. I'll just give you a big e-hug and then tell you to re-read his advice, and re-read it anytime your focus trembles.

Hugs honey!

Posted by aquaj
I remember when Ellen Degeneres got screwed over by a mutable sign who was just "experimenting" - Anne Heche was a Gemini. Ellen eventually settled down with another Aqua🙂

Aqua's are beasting.... Ellen and her wife were always idols to us... *damm*

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
This thread happily makes me think about my ex-Pisces taking it up the ass. 😄

To the OP, times are tough and your emotions are as raw as they'll ever be. It actually does get easier after you've been through it a few times in that you know what to expect and how best to cope.

25th gave you some excellent advice that really needs no adding to. I'll just give you a big e-hug and then tell you to re-read his advice, and re-read it anytime your focus trembles.

Hugs honey!

Lol I'm guessing you didn't end well with a Pisces?

But thank you so much.
It's just hard I guess. Fighting with myself about how I feel and what to do. Should I try to be friends, try and get us to work again, try and see if she even cares? Etc etc. Stuff like this keeping me up at night and it's so BAD GAH

*Hugs back* I've been getting a lot of these C: yaaay!!

A mate that is for you don't leave no matter what. Find the silver lining if you havent already..

Great Advice 25th Decan, each one teach one!