Top 10 Signs of an Abusive Man

1. Jealousy & Possessiveness — Becomes jealous over your family, friends, co-workers. Tries to isolate you. Views his woman and children as his property instead of as unique individuals. Accuses you of cheating or flirting with other men without cause. Always asks where you??ve been and with whom in an accusatory manner.

2. Control — He is overly demanding of your time and must be the center of your attention. He controls finances, the car, and the activities you partake in. Becomes angry if woman begins showing signs of independence or strength.

3. Superiority — He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He always justifies his actions so he can be —right?? by blaming you or others. A verbally abusive man will talk down to you or call you names in order to make himself feel better. The goal of an abusive man is to make you feel weak so they can feel powerful. Abusers are frequently insecure and this power makes them feel better about themselves.

4. Manipulates — Tells you you??re crazy or stupid so the blame is turned on you. Tries to make you think that it's your fault he is abusive. Says he can't help being abusive so you feel sorry for him and you keep trying to —help?? him. Tells others you are unstable.

5. Mood Swings — His mood switches from aggressive and abusive to apologetic and loving after the abuse has occurred.

6. Actions don't match words — He breaks promises, says he loves you and then abuses you.

7. Punishes you — An emotionally abusive man may withhold sex, emotional intimacy, or plays the —silent game?? as punishment when he doesn't get his way. He verbally abuses you by frequently criticizing you.

8. Unwilling to seek help — An abusive man doesn't think there is anything wrong with him so why should he seek help? Does not acknowledge his faults or blames it on his childhood or outside circumstances.

9. Disrespects women — Shows no respect towards his mother, sisters, or any women in his life. Thinks women are stupid and worthless.

10. Has a history of abusing women and/or animals or was abused himself — Batterers repeat their patterns and seek out women who are submissive and can be controlled. Abusive behavior can be a generational dysfunction and abused men have a great chance of becoming abusers. Men who abuse animals are much more likely to abuse women also.



source: http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewArticle.asp?id=28889

Does the person you love...

?? constantly keep track of your time?

?? act jealous and possessive?

?? accuse you of being unfaithful or flirting?

?? discourage your relationships with friends and family?

?? prevent or discourage you from working, interacting with friends or attending school?

?? constantly criticize or belittle you?

?? control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? (Reasonable cooperative budgeting excepted.)

?? humiliate you in front of others? (Including "jokes" at your expense.)

?? destroy or take your personal property or sentimental items?

?? have affairs?

?? threaten to hurt you, your children or pets? Threaten to use a weapon?

?? push, hit, slap, punch, kick, or bite you or your children?

?? force you to have sex against your will, or demand sexual acts you are uncomfortable with?


source: http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/abusive_signs.htm<BR>

That's not just men ... my ex-Aries-D-I-L displayed all of those traits except the last one. Actually she might have abused animals when she was a child, I know she was treated lke shit growing up.

true! my bad.

yeah, why i posted it. have a friend who's going through some shit right now. when you're in it, it's hard to see the obvious. maybe someone out there needs a reminder.

*silence of the lambs theme playing ever so softly in the background*

It rubs the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again. Idn't that right Precious?

Posted by seavixen2
I think it was really cool to post this. I think emotional abuse is a lot more subtle than most people think. It was explained to me by a friend that it is often done so slow, in subtle patterns, over time...and often when the woman realizes exactly what the hell is happening to her, she's sucked in, invested, torn between helping him with his demon (standing by your man, loyalty) and running...terror. So maybe in posting this you are helping others that haven't quite wanted to believe this was happening to them-reading it *IT'S STARING AT YOU*

♥ this is so true.



I might have been the person that needed to read this & while it seemed random, it wasn't at all.

I have never myself been in an emotionally abusive relationship with someone but I've been there for friends who have been in them & I must say, oh boy, it's VERY hard to convince people that those very signs listed above can be interpreted so many different ways. The people actually IN those abusive relationships swear up & down that it is not abuse at 1st. They give justifications & try to explain each & every kind of behavior that everyone BUT them see as abusive. Normally, it's not until AFTER the relationship has ended that those women/men acknowledge & recognize that the "signs" were there all along.

We all have either experienced ourselves and/or know someone in these kinds of relationships & although we are taught/advised to step in & try to help a person out of those kinds of circumstances, it is usually very difficult, considering the abuser is already prepared, considering they're expecting for outsiders to knock some sense into the victim. It sucks to say this, but most of the time the victim gets help, it's AFTER it's too late and/or once they're sick & tired of being sick & tired. It's not to say that the victim's friends/family don't have anything to do with the change of heart, b/c they often do BUT at the same time, it is up to the victim to recognize these things and/or have the same drive to escape the relationship the same way the outsiders wish they would.

It's even worse for women/men in these kinds of relationships when they share kids together. The more things 2 people share/bond with (joint bank accounts, the same household, kids together, etc.) the harder it is for the victim to see it best to leave the situation. Sometimes the victims acknowledge that they are victims, but yet they feel they have more to lose/risk by leaving the relationship moreso than they do if they stayed. Plus, it sucks that nowadays ooutsiders "mind their own business" & "Stay out of it" once they see victims (even their family members) in abusive situations. The victim nowadays are kind of left to figure things out on their own

Sometimes this kind of abuse can be very subtle, and it takes you a while to realize what's going on. ESPECIALLY when you're laid back and not a very sensitive person...you brush everything off.

It's really hard when you're very involved with someone, in love with them, they're your whole world, together for years...then they go through some real shit and the way they express their anger and anxiety is very negatively and abusive...especially towards you, the person closest to them.
Regardless of how they've changed, and how much they hurt you, it's very hard to make the decision to leave them. Especially when you feel they need you more than ever.

But overtime this kind of relationship gets worse, and can be very damaging in the long run. You may not noticing happening...but one day you'll wake up feeling like a total piece of shit and you won't really know why. It's because little by little...it ate at away at you.

Everyone else noticed it happening, but you.

A day will come when he will try that with the wrong woman .. and she will rip his nuts off, and shove them down his throat.







asshole

Dayum Meg! How are you two communicating now given you child?

Gotta be tough to look at that fucker

@sea - is the relationship between the two still damaged?

Has the father changed or grown? If so, are you working with your daughter to help repair the pain?

Where I agree that karma is great, I don't get relishing in your child being made aware of it. Our parents are us and for one or both to be "damaged," many children, even a strong one, will suffer self-esteem implications. even if it's not felt now, the "maybe I'm this way because my mom/dad" thought is immune to no one.

My point is, where it's dad's job to redeem himself in his child's eye's, it's mom's job to teach the child forgiveness and how to let shit go. She's a teenager and she's allowing old shit to eat away at her to the point she refuses to speak to her father? Not knowing the details but isn't the karma more about you and he? Why does she have to be a personification of kamra...which we all agree is a "bitch?"

My mom never spoke ill of my father either and at the end of the day, I understand her choices but never did or had I felt she relished in that bond being robbed from me. I don't get the concept of wanting a child to know tha half of who they are is a shit.

What I'm thinking is pretty harsh though and frankly I'm a bit shocked.

All I can muster right now is a head shake.

I agree.


This bad energy is between the two adults .... and the child shouldn't have to face any consequences of it AT ALL.

In fact, she shouldn't be made aware of this

I wish my child would refuse to speak to or see an adult. You have given no indication that she is in danger with him and if roles were reversed, good or bad, a child refusing to be in your company...your child refusing— because he/she can't be bothered?

Honour thy mother AND thy father. At 18 you can do what you want. Playing bball sucks. That makes him selfish, not necessarily a bad dad. I know it has implications but seriously, I've already said too much and what I really wanna say...hmmmph

Lata

Real quick, if at some point god forbid she loses you, let's hope the rift you're allowing her to create at such a young age doesn't result in her really being alone. This is pissing me off.

Ciao!

You know, most people look at this and think of an abusive man in a relationship.. but I immediately thought of my brother when I read this, he has a lot of these characteristics if not all, has shown them at one time or another except 9 and 10, well with me being the exception to #9, 10.

This sound just like my ex Libra!

My bad my it kept posting my message.

This is my ex aries to a T... ugh.. its scary shit.

Wow I could be an abusive man jk😛