Unconditional love!!! How real it it?

Is it possible to love someone unconditionally? It was said that God can only give you that type of love.

Posted by Sugarfoot
The more detached I am from them, the more I can love them unconditionally. I think it's possible if you release all expectations.

Pretty Much this.

I'm in the process of practicing that in my every day life in usually quick to cut people off forever

Its real alright 🙂
example: the love of a mother for her child.

Tho romance-wise its hard to achieve but not impossible

Posted by Noreallynow
Is it possible to love someone unconditionally? It was said that God can only give you that type of love.

As someone already mentioned, I think parent-child is the closest someone can get to unconditional love.

I don't think you can turn that kind of love off-- even if you want to.

I also think that it's the closest we can get to, as you said, the love that God has for us.

Aside from that, no-- I don't think it's possible through strictly human efforts.

Of course not.

If a person thinks they can love unconditionally ... then they are essentially saying they have no standards and values.


What I find really hilarious is that the people who say that ... are the ones who yell the loudest when they feel like they were treated other than what they expect to be treated.


hypocrites are funny ... but, ignorant hypocrites are funnier

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by Noreallynow
Is it possible to love someone unconditionally? It was said that God can only give you that type of love.

As someone already mentioned, I think parent-child is the closest someone can get to unconditional love.

I don't think you can turn that kind of love off-- even if you want to.

I also think that it's the closest we can get to, as you said, the love that God has for us.

Aside from that, no-- I don't think it's possible through strictly human efforts.

click to expand

Perfect answer.

My thoughts exactly.

As for god ... it would depend on which god you're talking about. Unless, you're speaking as the typical ignorant christian who thinks that their idea of a higher power supercedes every other person's belief system.

If you are talking about the christian's concept of a higher power, then again ... of course not. If that god believed in unconditional love than all would be saved ... even child molesters, and muderers without having to repent.


I cannot even fathom the ignorance of people who have their life so romanticized that they live in such a delusion.

How fucking mindless

Posted by starlover
Totally!

I have that for my son

For me that is never gonna happen with someone else

But you love him because he is your son.. Isn't that a 'condition'? The fact that he's your child?

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by starlover
Totally!

I have that for my son

For me that is never gonna happen with someone else

But you love him because he is your son.. Isn't that a 'condition'? The fact that he's your child?

click to expand

Indeed.

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by starlover
Totally!

I have that for my son

For me that is never gonna happen with someone else

But you love him because he is your son.. Isn't that a 'condition'? The fact that he's your child?

click to expand

Well, if being your offspring is a condition, then anyone can be put into a condition box.

Conditional means ..... (EX.) If your child, friend, mother, brother, whomever did something awful (rape, murder, etc) would your love remain even against your better judgment.

Posted by P-Angel

Of course not.

If a person thinks they can love unconditionally ... then they are essentially saying they have no standards and values.


What I find really hilarious is that the people who say that ... are the ones who yell the loudest when they feel like they were treated other than what they expect to be treated.


hypocrites are funny ... but, ignorant hypocrites are funnier

Well, can't we be mad at someone and still love them? And we can be upset with them for treating us a certain way, but when all is said and done we still love them. I don't see anything hypocritical about that. There are times I could wring my kids' necks, but I still love them no matter what they do. And if they were to fall all the way to rock bottom and I have to cut them off, it'd be called tough love and cutting them off is harsh but it's done out of love so they learn how to climb back up off the bottom.

Or did I misunderstand what you were trying to say?

Posted by CapTenn

Posted by Andalusia

Posted by starlover
Totally!

I have that for my son

For me that is never gonna happen with someone else

But you love him because he is your son.. Isn't that a 'condition'? The fact that he's your child?

Well, if being your offspring is a condition, then anyone can be put into a condition box.

Conditional means ..... (EX.) If your child, friend, mother, brother, whomever did something awful (rape, murder, etc) would your love remain even against your better judgment.

click to expand

Yes, I would still love them. Even if I had to turn them into the authorities.
I would be there for them emotionally throughout their incarceration.

Posted by Sugarfoot
I think it's possible if you release all expectations.

+1

For the most part it's just sounds nice to say and hear.

Posted by P-Angel
If you are talking about the christian's concept of a higher power, then again ... of course not.

If that god believed in unconditional love than all would be saved ... even child molesters, and muderers without having to repent.

They would?

How do you figure?

Unconditional love =\= unconditional acceptance. That's the problem I have with P-Angel's stance. I love my ex wife, imagine I always will. She's still my EX wife though. We've talked and tried dating again because the feelings are still there but the past problems are too. Sure I can love someone and still realize I need to stay away. I love myself first. Of course there's standards for who I keep in my life.

Since when do our feelings control us? I feel anger too, doesn't mean I walk around sucker punching people all day. Sometimes I get nervous or scared, I force myself to move past it. You cannot control which feelings you experience, you can control the actions you take related to those feelings.

Posted by truecap

Posted by P-Angel

Of course not.

If a person thinks they can love unconditionally ... then they are essentially saying they have no standards and values.


What I find really hilarious is that the people who say that ... are the ones who yell the loudest when they feel like they were treated other than what they expect to be treated.


hypocrites are funny ... but, ignorant hypocrites are funnier

Well, can't we be mad at someone and still love them? And we can be upset with them for treating us a certain way, but when all is said and done we still love them. I don't see anything hypocritical about that. There are times I could wring my kids' necks, but I still love them no matter what they do. And if they were to fall all the way to rock bottom and I have to cut them off, it'd be called tough love and cutting them off is harsh but it's done out of love so they learn how to climb back up off the bottom.

Or did I misunderstand what you were trying to say?

click to expand

Who was talking about being mad or upset?

Not me.

Yes, you did misunderstand ... and that is due to you not wanting to hear something other than what you believe.

Happens to most people .. you aren't alone in that boat.

I particularly find it humorous that the people in here who proclaim it is absolutely possible to love unconditionally all have failing relationships ..... they can't seem to actually keep a partner.

While, the people who realize that all respectable and responsible people actually live by standards that are conditional ... have lasting partnerships.


Of course, the deluded fools will never see it .. that's why they are fools.

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by tiziani

Posted by P-Angel

I particularly find it humorous that the people in here who proclaim it is absolutely possible to love unconditionally all have failing relationships ..... they can't seem to actually keep a partner.

I've loved your posts since the first day we met. No one can change that - not time itself.


"you have the sight now, Neo. You are seeing the world without time."


That's you and me P!

Yes because being in a relationship defines us.

click to expand

"us" to mean the general population

now, look at dxp, and see that 99% of all energy is being exerted on relationship status type issues.

so, the answer is "yes" .... by the virtue of your actions of your focus being on your relationships ...


relationships define us

by "you" I mean people

People are so clueless due to being self absorbed ..... if you notice, they can only talk about how they are capable of giving love, because a self absorbed person can only acknowledge themselves.

Let's wait until this person they believe they love unconditionally, punches them in the face, or steals from them, or cheats on them ... let's see what song they sing then.

Posted by Impulsv

But there are many kinds of relations other than partnerships ( Freinds, coworker, parents) were one can express love, succeed in those partnerships.

Because how YOU EXPRESS is the deciding factor in the concept of unconditional love .... just like whoever it was that was babbling about working for charity and how it made her feel, as if this one-sided fantasy of giving is the ONLY side of a relation.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by P-Angel

I particularly find it humorous that the people in here who proclaim it is absolutely possible to love unconditionally all have failing relationships ..... they can't seem to actually keep a partner.

I've loved your posts since the first day we met. No one can change that - not time itself.


"you have the sight now, Neo. You are seeing the world without time."


That's you and me P!

click to expand

Most people are sound asleep .... but, they think they are awake.

You already know that !!!

—People like to say love is unconditional, but it's not, and even if it was unconditional, it's still never free. There's always an expectation attached. They always want something in return. Like they want you to be happy or whatever and that makes you automatically responsible for their happiness because they won't be happy unless you are ... I just don't want that responsibility.?? ?? Katja Millay, The Sea of Tranquility

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry

Posted by fishinamaize
I still say the point is moot until y'all come to a consensus on what love is. Odds are y'all are beating your chests talking about totally different things. "Love" is extremely ill defined. Even if you all say it's a "feeling", I doubt any two people experience said feeling exactly the same.


Someone once defined love to me as ultimately wishing the best for a person. I think that love defined as such, could for ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES, be unconditional. That's just an example.

The way I personally think of love can be unconditional, because it's fairly shallow.

I agree with this.

click to expand

2nd.

Posted by P-Angel

People are so clueless due to being self absorbed ..... if you notice, they can only talk about how they are capable of giving love, because a self absorbed person can only acknowledge themselves.

Let's wait until this person they believe they love unconditionally, punches them in the face, or steals from them, or cheats on them ... let's see what song they sing then.

See my last post. Still loving someone else doesn't mean I neglect myself. It also doesn't mean I love, or even accept, everything they do. That's the point of this thread. Yes, my ex did me wrong. Yes, there were bitter moments and a lot of hard feelings. Even if I never speak to her again, I still care and want nothing but the best for her. Isn't that what love really is? I do.t care if bad shit happens to most people, there's some i do...even if things went bad between us.

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by tiziani

Posted by P-Angel

I particularly find it humorous that the people in here who proclaim it is absolutely possible to love unconditionally all have failing relationships ....they can't seem to actually keep a partner..

I've loved your posts since the first day we met. No one can change that - not time itself.


"you have the sight now, Neo. You are seeing the world without time."


That's you and me P!

Yes because being in a relationship defines us.

"us" to mean the general population

now, look at dxp, and see that 99% of all energy is being exerted on relationship status type issues.

so, the answer is "yes" .... by the virtue of your actions of your focus being on your relationships ...


relationships define us

U defined relationship being in a partnership if I understood right. "they can't seem to actually keep a partner."
But there are many kinds of relations other than partnerships ( Freinds, coworker, parents) were one can express love, succeed in those partnerships. But I feel
It's an error we can make to interpret unconditional as being a door mat. That is not the case because first we must love ourself with the boundaries u speak of. But yes those that pushed those boundaries can be removed yet wish them well with love.

Star- I will never know that experience 😢
But I feel I love my dog unconditionally 🙂

click to expand

Amen.

Posted by IrresistableScorp

If something you did or some "condition" was not met by you or you killed someone or whatever and it caused me to not love you--then I never really loved you in the first place. This is just me, but I haven't loved an enormous amount of people in my life, but every person I have loved, I still love them even if things didn't work out or they moved or I don't even talk to them. I honestly cannot understand how you can honestly love someone at one point and then just not love them anymore. Like I said, maybe this is just me.

Its actually almost a litmus test to see if the feelings I thought were love were actually love and not some other thing like security, convenience, lust, yada yada. If at one point I find myself feeling completely indifferent to someone and it stays that way, then I realize what I thought was love wasn't love at all.

I agree with FishMaize and LibraSid as well. Its how you define love and I also think a lot of it has to do with your goodwill and kindness toward someone. I don't think love is actually "active" per se in the same was "romance" is active or a "relationship" is active. Love just IS.

Every time a person comes in here to talk about this topic ... they can ONLY reference how they romanticize a one-way love, in how they give.

Not one person can measure this from how they will receive it .. therefore, this concept you fantasize about is actually self-centeredness.

Which means .... it's a hypocrisy, in which all you are describing, but, none of you are aware enough of reality to realize it.

Our idea of unconditional love sounds simply like idealized, self imposed, unrequited love...in which the one who is feeling love loves regardless of the other's(s') own opinion(s) and feelings for the aforementioned.

You speak of constantly working on a relationship terms, such as

what you can give and take
treating each with respect
being fair
working out mistakes
you choose as to what you want and need

..... and that was from just the first paragraph.


those are terms of relating ... which describes the opposite of "unconditional"

I only have unconditional love for my pets, mother and brothers and god I suppose.

I couldn't see myself having unconditional love for someone who I fell in love with, I've had two relationships and both left a huge hole in me when I ended them.

In order for me to be in love the right conditions need to be met because I will not love you if you cheat on me, or if you make me choose you over my family and friends etc??_.

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11

.... I will not love you if you cheat on me, or if you make me choose you over my family and friends etc??_.

Finally ... someone noticed that there is another side to consider

The female mind is clouded over in fantasy of an ideal love .... and no matter how many times, reality comes to smack her in the face, she'll still fall, mindlessly, into the same trap she set for herself.

I thank my lucky stars everyday for being born aware of reality ...

How do you even define it? What is unconditional? Never having to ask anything in return? Loving despite the hurt?

Posted by IrresistableScorp
If something you did or some "condition" was not met by you or you killed someone or whatever and it caused me to not love you--then I never really loved you in the first place. This is just me, but I haven't loved an enormous amount of people in my life, but every person I have loved, I still love them even if things didn't work out or they moved or I don't even talk to them. I honestly cannot understand how you can honestly love someone at one point and then just not love them anymore. Like I said, maybe this is just me.

Its actually almost a litmus test to see if the feelings I thought were love were actually love and not some other thing like security, convenience, lust, yada yada. If at one point I find myself feeling completely indifferent to someone and it stays that way, then I realize what I thought was love wasn't love at all.

I agree with FishMaize and LibraSid as well. Its how you define love and I also think a lot of it has to do with your goodwill and kindness toward someone. I don't think love is actually "active" per se in the same was "romance" is active or a "relationship" is active. Love just IS.

(y)

Posted by P-Angel


Every time a person comes in here to talk about this topic ... they can ONLY reference how they romanticize a one-way love, in how they give.

Not one person can measure this from how they will receive it .. therefore, this concept you fantasize about is actually self-centeredness.

that is right. they can only give their opinion on how they give it. because usually, the one who receives the 'unconditional love' is either unaware or unworthy of it.

Posted by osiris626

Posted by P-Angel


Every time a person comes in here to talk about this topic ... they can ONLY reference how they romanticize a one-way love, in how they give.

Not one person can measure this from how they will receive it .. therefore, this concept you fantasize about is actually self-centeredness.

that is right. they can only give their opinion on how they give it. because usually, the one who receives the 'unconditional love' is either unaware or unworthy of it.

click to expand

How stupid.

There doesn't appear to be much of a connection in the brain to be able to consider application.

Posted by osiris626

.... the one who receives the 'unconditional love' is either unaware or unworthy of it.

again ... another person who can only comprehend a one-sided love.

No wonder there are so many threads in here with relationship problems ... the mass population has no clue that there are actually two people participating in relations.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by osiris626

.... the one who receives the 'unconditional love' is either unaware or unworthy of it.

again ... another person who can only comprehend a one-sided love.

No wonder there are so many threads in here with relationship problems ... the mass population has no clue that there are actually two people participating in relations.

click to expand

I sorta agree with this.

Posted by fishinamaize

Posted by P-Angel


Every time a person comes in here to talk about this topic ... they can ONLY reference how they romanticize a one-way love, in how they give.

Not one person can measure this from how they will receive it .. therefore, this concept you fantasize about is actually self-centeredness.

Which means .... it's a hypocrisy, in which all you are describing, but, none of you are aware enough of reality to realize it.

that's because they're discussing love: the verb, and you're referring to love:the noun

there is love that you give, and love that you share

this is what I was talking about: this all comes down to a definitions battle

click to expand

Actually, I think it's due to blind ignorance, likely because of the god delusion.

No matter how one defines love - it all comes back to the same place. There are two people in this "love" scenario.

If a person believes that they love another unconditionally, then that means they HAVE to receive whatever love the other person wants to give them.

It's a simple concept ... even the simple-minded should be able to grasp it.

And it doesn't matter whether if it's a verb or noun ... because the action (verb) of loving is two sided, since the action of love is being received.

If the person you loved wanted you to sit at home every Friday and Saturday night while he went out with his friends ... you'd have to do it, without question, without complaining ... if this was what he wanted in order to love you, and if you plan on honoring your own words when proclaiming that you'd love him unconditionally.


And none of you can do that ... so all of you are hypocrites, floating around in la-la-land

I see it being one sided when you feel like you love your partner but they don't love you back. They may do all the right things, but because it's not the love that you want or if it's not the way that you think it should be or even feel... Then it isn't love. What some don't understand is that everybody doesn't "love" the same. I may be more affectionate and more verbal in showing my love. My partner may show his love through his actions. Just because your significant other doesn't love the way that you do, it doesn't that he/ she doesn't love you.

Unconditional is such a strong word. Love is also(well to me). If someone betrays you, beats on you everyday, abuses your kids, talks bad about your mother, steals your identity, leaves you for dead, tell you your nothing, doesn't appreciate you, tells you how stupid you are, denies you, disappears on you, slaps your father, or even worse, cause you physical permanent damage.. Just put you through pure hell? Would you love them unconditionally?

Posted by P-Angel

Actually, I think it's due to blind ignorance, likely because of the god delusion.

No matter how one defines love - it all comes back to the same place. There are two people in this "love" scenario.

If a person believes that they love another unconditionally, then that means they HAVE to receive whatever love the other person wants to give them.

i think the 'HAVE' there should be, ACCEPT/AGREE or a word of the same meaning. And I think I grasp what you mean now. I am smiling now as I type this, I think my whole life is a lie with that thought in mind.

True. I now get your point. Thank you so much. I hope to love unconditionally then. 🙂

Posted by Noreallynow

Unconditional is such a strong word. Love is also(well to me). If someone betrays you, beats on you everyday, abuses your kids, talks bad about your mother, steals your identity, leaves you for dead, tell you your nothing, doesn't appreciate you, tells you how stupid you are, denies you, disappears on you, slaps your father, or even worse, cause you physical permanent damage.. Just put you through pure hell? Would you love them unconditionally?

You will. IF YOU LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY. But I think we are all for ourselves. Even if we love, people will always for themselves. Aren't we all?

Posted by osiris626

Posted by Noreallynow

Unconditional is such a strong word. Love is also(well to me). If someone betrays you, beats on you everyday, abuses your kids, talks bad about your mother, steals your identity, leaves you for dead, tell you your nothing, doesn't appreciate you, tells you how stupid you are, denies you, disappears on you, slaps your father, or even worse, cause you physical permanent damage.. Just put you through pure hell? Would you love them unconditionally?

You will. IF YOU LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY. But I think we are all for ourselves. Even if we love, people will always for themselves. Aren't we all?

click to expand

I don't think someone will love someone after being put through all that. No, all of us aren't.

And still .... the people can only acknowledge a one-sided love that they give, that appears to be inside some sort of fantasy bubble.

Interestingly ... most seem to be Scorpios.

That should be the writing on the wall for people who are looking for honest, respectful relationships built on standards and values.

Posted by fishinamaize
I'm not saying whetheror not you gave it cause I don't have an opinion on it really, I'm just saying I don't think it comes from being a mother since we've agreed not all mother's experience it.

Great point.

I might be cynical on this point but I think anyone thinking or talking or asking if it exists still holds love in some form of condition. Being a mum is still a condition. Granted it can be a great kind of love.

PS Not discrediting anyone, just my opinion.

Is it unconditional love, or is it being an obtuse doormat?

Posted by starlover
Mother love is very different Imp....we carry them inside us for 9mths...we feed them and keep them alive with our milk...it is a totally different love from the father.

So mothers have stronger love for the babies because they have had to suffer more to make them?

The idea of that sounds like the lovechild of Stockholm Syndrome and the Sunk Cost Fallacy. 😛