Unconditional love!!! How real it it? (Page 2)

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry

Posted by SUPERJERKASS
Is it unconditional love, or is it being an obtuse doormat?

I really don't understand why the constant comparison of unconditional love to being a doormat.

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Because unconditional love means loving someone no matter what they do to you.

Sorry, but I can't love an adult if they treat me like shit.

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry

Posted by starlover

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry

Posted by aquasnoz
I might be cynical on this point but I think anyone thinking or talking or asking if it exists still holds love in some form of condition. Being a mum is still a condition. Granted it can be a great kind of love.

PS Not discrediting anyone, just my opinion.

+1

I agree.

I often think it's used as some kind of benchmark to explain unconditional love but by doing that it segregates men and those who are not mothers that have given birth.

Once you start segregating and telling people "Look at me! You can't possibly feel the way I feel!"....the discussion just goes down hill from there. It becomes a bit self-catering and not so much unconditional.

But the OP was asking on opinions of unconditional love and people give their perceptions of them..or not?

true, but one perception is not better than the other.

you know how it is to love like a mother who has given birth to a child....that doesn't mean a man can't love their child in the same way. It felt like you were saying that was 'better' than or more 'qualified', which I don't agree with.

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+1

Or that an adoptive parent can't love their child(ren) in the same way.

I don't think I can even manage to define love without tying it to another person (romantic love that is), because it's still a dynamic between people with different sets of perceiving reality. It's a shaky concept for me and I cannot apply "unconditional" as an absolute value to a shaky concept.

Charity work isn't unconditional or selfless. We get pleasure out of it so there is a measure of selfishness. Selfishness ties into a motive - the motive to do good, which falls into a condition.

Actually the basis of all experience/feelings is hedonism, which is pretty much the opposite of unconditional.

The way I see the dynamic play out between individuals as romantic love, or parent-child, or man-religion..it's a scenario each time. It unfolds on an imaginary stage. Unconditional for me would be the complete absence of a stage to play the scenario on.

Just my experience, it will be different for every one according to the definition..which once again makes it relative.

Posted by Nemesis
if you love somebody - educate them & give them the right to form their own thoughts. even if they oppose your own.

Let them unfold as they see fit into this life and if there's a click, a dynamic will be formed which will respect the freedom of both parties in the association

(do i get a venus in aqua card? 😄)

It's funny how the opposite end of the spectrum is never brought up

Unconditional hatred.

Same arguments should apply for "unconditional" but this isn't something to be seen as a higher caliber of living, as unconditional love is. Still the same mirage but this scenario is somehow morally wrong, it doesn't add to the glamorous unconditional love concept.

If I stare close enough at the mirror, there's a misanthrope on the other side for all my encompassing love of humanity.

Posted by Nemesis

Posted by Impulsv
Yes it's hard path I suppose but if humans such as mother Teresa n others reached yes it is humanly possible.

mother teresa (imo) did nothing for the poor people but make their lives even more miserable....she preached they should embrace their poverty cause it was gods will/plan. she also preached that birth control and abortion was against god??s plan. she never helped them out of that life style .

have you seen the hospices/death houses she lead? kids dying from diseases/illnesses that could have been treated with an operation and proper medication?

she had a voice; she was a respected public figure and had connections to royalty and real power houses - i wonder why she did not use her power to really help....amazes me.

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That's interesting.

And somehow, I'm not surprised-- sounds like she was the devils own emissary, eh?

Cruelty takes many forms, but I think that's one of the worst.

To be honest...

Both sides are correct from the position they are arguing from.

But I ask you... when you do something for someone out of love was it based off of what you remember them doing for you
Or
Did you do just because?

I still don't see why me saying I love someone MUST mean I let them walk all over me or accept shitty behavior from them. You can say no to someone you love. You people realize this right? Sometimes you may even have to tell them you can't support or condone their actions, it doesn't mean you have to stop loving them. maybe you have to cut them out of your life because they've gone so far off the reservation...Still, you can love them.

The argument that you have to accept and allow someone to mistreat you because you love them is foolish. I love myself the most. I will not allow someone to tear me down no matter how I feel about them. I've had some bad arguments with my mother, neither of us ever stopped loving each other. Shit happens, people disagree, it's okay. I've told my ex wife that I can't be her buddy and hang out all the time, it doesn't mean I don't care. It just means I love myself too much to go through that again. She and I don't work romantically, but I still love her. The relationship takes two people, that died years ago. The love I hold lives in me, that won't die unless I kill it.

omg fishinamaize I hate you so much right now! 😄

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
I like it, pringles. 😄

such a sag mercury in this topic 😛

Posted by fishinamaize
That ^ also confirms my idea that to love "everyone" is to devalue love, or not actually feel it for anyone. Because for everything in the universe, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Yes.

Love is basically picking some people out of the billions that are there and going "You, I choose you". In doing that, you sprinkle fairy dust on that person and it starts playing a role in your fantasy and you in theirs if they also choose you. Before doing that, they were just someone..out of many. Then you oppose the reality of this coupling to...everyone else who isn't in it. Us against the world.

The way I see it there is a process to gauge that which is different because we cannot define ourselves. So we try to define what is foreign. Hatred to other groups would promote strong solidarity in the group ,which in turn binds the people in the group together with familiarity.

I mean when we assess most things, we look for A, then we look for the exact opposite of A and pick a way somewhere in the middle. Without the opposition taking place, we're lost in translation.

Posted by fishinamaize

Posted by Damnata
omg fishinamaize I hate you so much right now! 😄

join the club. we're too poor to afford jackets, but we're all united behind my death

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*joins the club reluctantly*

I mean unconditionally. 😄

lol @ you

I can't believe I manage to get more vague than a Pisces.

Posted by fishinamaize

Posted by Damnata
lol @ you

I can't believe I manage to get more vague than a Pisces.

i was joking, i actually did know what you were talking about that time. For ONCE.

And I have a Virgo midheaven, so...

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Oh we both have a Virgo midheaven. That's cool.

But "Virgo" shouldn't be anywhere near "heaven"

You just enjoy being a sadist with me 😢

Posted by fishinamaize
S/M axis

😄

My Venus is capable of it.

Posted by fishinamaize

.... people who say they love everyone devalue love. Not that they can truly love everyone, but the fact that they think they do means that the love they feel, is worth less.

Remember my thread about Pisces being unplugged ... and saying that to love all, means to love nothing.

You can't love all, if you expect the love for one to be all loving.

Perhaps, now you get my point.