Well which one is it?!

"Loyalty" is always on a list of the most important traits people look for in others, right?

Well explain to me what "Loyalty" really means & if true unconditional loyalty is either the BEST thing you can do or is absolute insanity (Asking to be hurt and/or taken advantage of)

There is a THIN LINE between being loyal vs. being a doormat! Your relationships would run a lot smoother & last a lot longer if you learned the difference!

People say they want a "Ride or die," someone whose loyal, someone who will accept them for who they are, accept their flaws, love them 'flaws and all,' won't give up on them when times get tough & will love them unconditionally, right?!

People are taught to love unconditionally & show loyalty. After all, how do you expect to be with someone for the REST of your life, if you can't even get through common relationship problems? ("Common" as in things most others have or are going through)

How can you expect to be with someone for the REST of your life if you're ready to run the minute things get tough (some times tougher than others)?

It's amazing though that all of that "loyalty" crap goes out of the window when someone cheats, gets abusive or does something to hurt you lol

What happened to "Stick it out b/c people make mistakes" creed?

What happened to the whole "Accept them for who they are, flaws & all?"

What happened to being a "ride or die" when sh*t gets real?!

lol So which one is it?!

I think this question has a lot to do with the guilt of why some people stay in BAD relationships longer than they should!!

They're so focused on proving they are "loyal" that they end up making the relationship worse simply by accepting any & everything in the name of "love." And that my dear is called "enabling."

Translation: Why would anyone need to change their worst traits or ways if they're under the impression that if you truly loved them, you'd accept it? Why change when I can still suck this person dry w/o having to even change in the 1st place? I mean after all, society teaches us not to ever let anyone "change" us, right?

I'm all for marriage & divorce being the last resort, BUT come on people...Love swings both ways! Loyalty swings BOTH ways!

If you can't be loyal to someone AND yourself at the same time, the relationship is NOT worth it!

If you can't love someone else AND love yourself at the same time, it's time to call it quits.

If you can't be their best friend AND your own best friend at the same time, it's time to run like hell!

We hear about the stories of people who aren't loyal enough (Your man cheated, your girl left you, etc.)

But is there such a thing as TOO much loyalty?

Are the people who have stayed together through the worst imaginable truly the IDEAL relationship/marriages we should strive to have?

Are the people who stay together for 40 years (our parents/elders/grandparents) even though they've cheated on eachother, beat eachother's azz too many times to count, did all the major deal breaking things you can imagine, etc. Are they madly insane & setting a bad example OR are they genius?


Clearly society is sending mixed messages!


I've been in the field of Psychology for a lonnnnng time & it boils my blood when I speak to young girls/boys who take just about any & everything (bad) all b/c they're trying to keep up with this societal rule that love ought to be unconditional & loyal.

And in return, they lose themselves, their self-esteem, a lot of their friends, etc. That seems TOO HIGH of a prize to pay all in the name of "Love."

What do you guys think?

When is loyalty OVER-RATED, or is it ever?

Posted by krysrenee7"Loyalty" is always on a list of the most important traits people look for in others, right?

Well explain to me what "Loyalty" really means & if true unconditional loyalty is either the BEST thing you can do or is absolute insanity (Asking to be hurt and/or taken advantage of)

There is a THIN LINE between being loyal vs. being a doormat! Your relationships would run a lot smoother & last a lot longer if you learned the difference!

People say they want a "Ride or die," someone whose loyal, someone who will accept them for who they are, accept their flaws, love them 'flaws and all,' won't give up on them when times get tough & will love them unconditionally, right?!

Hmm--

Reasonable: as much as is appropriate or fair


I think that is the answer, there-- what is reasonable?

Posted by MzSag1201
I think you're using loyalty and unconditional love interchangeably... and you can't.

Well that's my entire point

Why do we get these definitions so mixed up?

And if we're not mixing them up, are we insane to try to live up to those definitions?

@MzSag1201 Isn't that what society does? Uses loyalty & unconditional love interchangeably?

My question is if these mixed messages could possibly be the root behind relationships not seeming to last as long or have as good a quality as they used to in the good ole days?

Is it b/c we are becoming too loyal or not loyal enough?!