krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts
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Whatever happend to...
Posted by PiscesPosterBoy
And all of those things are just plain wrong and they have no part of real life whatsoever but that's what society has dictated so most follow those rules.
And that's what's so crazy. You'd think that people would understand this or atleast be able to separate fantasy from reality...what goes on in the movies does NOT happen in real life. And if it does, sure there's always that 1% of people who are the exception, BUT for the MAJORITY of us, we have to accept & acknowledge what's common & not what only few people actually experience.
I see alot of mothers stressing to their young daughters to go find a man whose got all of these external qualities, and if they even do at all, they mention how that man should make them feel beautiful LAST; that should've been said in the very beginning.
I see alot of guys encouraging other guys to seek out the girl whose the most attractive or the best eye candy. They seem to forget about wanting to make sure that their "buddy" is actually freakin' happy.
I think most relationships actually COULD work out if people knew AND used the right tools to make them work. But it all starts in the beginning. If the way you're measuring someone's worth is all wrong or shallow, it's no wonder that down the road, you're probably the main person complaining about how you're NOT happy.
I think if we're all honest with ourselves, we'll realize that just like our OWN beauty comes from within, so does someone else's
I kind of see this differently. If we focus on just how someone makes us feel how do we know if the way they are making us feel is based on anything real or substantial. When we focus just on the feeling we overlook some major warning signs that could be indicators that a relationship with this person is doomed from the start. Love is blind...and infatuation is dumb.
What if we were to look at an individuals external factors and be able to link them to a characteristic or a value that you share. For example, the person is wealthy and successful. The characteristic or value is that they are ambitious or they have a terrific work ethic. If these are values that you share then this would be an indicator of compatibility would it not?
What if we were to look at an individuals external factors and be able to link them to a characteristic or a value that you share. For example, the person is wealthy and successful. The characteristic or value is that they are ambitious or they have a terrific work ethic. If these are values that you share then this would be an indicator of compatibility would it not?
Posted by krysrenee7
We get so caught up in the mindset of "What does this person have?" OR "What can he/she do for me?" that we sometimes forget about the importance of how someone genuinely makes you feel.
We?
You mean YOU get caught up in superficial mindsets ... because everyone I know is concerned about how they feel. You're the only one talking materialistically.
Do you even read these threads in here?
I'm not sure how much it should be based on feelings either though. Those seems to change just as fast too.
It's like you need a real sturdy fondation underneath everything.
Cause looks change over time
Income can change over time
More responsibilities can happen over time (kids)
There has got to be this thing that can stay strong thru all that. Maybe that's love, maybe that chemistry, maybe friendship. I don't know but I think that is what you need.
It's like you need a real sturdy fondation underneath everything.
Cause looks change over time
Income can change over time
More responsibilities can happen over time (kids)
There has got to be this thing that can stay strong thru all that. Maybe that's love, maybe that chemistry, maybe friendship. I don't know but I think that is what you need.
"There has got to be this thing that can stay strong thru all that. Maybe that's love, maybe that chemistry, maybe friendship. I don't know but I think that is what you need."
Bingo! I think that's the concept that some people forget about. Unlike looks, material possessions and/or social status, personality & character are the 2 things that usually DON'T change. And if they do change with time, it's gradually & not necessarily from 1 extreme to the other
So really, it makes more sense to date someone for who they are on the inside b/c what's on the inside is about 99% more likely to remain alot longer
Bingo! I think that's the concept that some people forget about. Unlike looks, material possessions and/or social status, personality & character are the 2 things that usually DON'T change. And if they do change with time, it's gradually & not necessarily from 1 extreme to the other
So really, it makes more sense to date someone for who they are on the inside b/c what's on the inside is about 99% more likely to remain alot longer
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We get so caught up in the mindset of "What does this person have?" OR "What can he/she do for me?" that we sometimes forget about the importance of how someone genuinely makes you feel.
The person who makes you feel the best may not have a great job or a job at all. He/she may not be your typical "type" physically or sexually.
I get that love doesn't pay the bills & that love alone won't carry a relationship, BUT at the same time, it seems that people are only picking partners based on outside qualities...they're taking into account how that person makes them feel LAST, when I think it should be 1st or ATLEAST somewhere in the middle.
Having the guy/girl whose got alot of money (financially stable), is physically attractive, and/or has all the "qualities" you're looking for aint worth a damn if that person doesn't make you feel alive, loved and/or respected.
In other words, are you in love with someone for who they ARE, or are you in love with them b/c of what they can do for you? (Fill voids, pay the bills, keep you from being single, make you look good, etc.)
I tell guys this all the time....sure, it's understandable that you're looking for the eye candy that you can flaunt in front of your boys & take home to mama, BUT you oughta also make sure that this chick is someone who positively enhances your life in someway b/c of who she IS naturally as a person vs. what she can do for you.
After all, isn't that what some of you men are afraid of? Afraid that when the marriage is over, she'll take you for all you're worth & all your money? Sure, if you married someone who only wanted you for what sits OUTSIDE at night, it's no wonder you're so afraid of marriage and divorce. You'll sleep better at night if you know that you're with someone who loves who you ARE 10xs more than they love what you can do for them.
What someone can do for you oughta be the icing on the cake, NOT the cake itself.
Some people get so caught up in "image" or in checking off their "ideal mate" list that they forget about internalizing all those positive qualities about someone else & actually loving them for who they are.
This mother on Dr. Phil kept telling her daughter that she oughta find some rich man to marry her. But what I NEVER heard her mother saying was that she ALSO oughta find a man who truly loves her. Why not seek the man who truly loves her AND just so happens to be rich too?