When a man cries... =(

Something inside of me breaks!

Any time I see a man cry (especially if he's sobbing/balling his eyes out), I always get teary-eyed, even if he's crying b/c he was in the wrong or did me wrong. Doesn't mean that I'll take him back just b/c he shed tears, but moreso that it helps me to appreciate him a little bit more for him being human, in world where men are trained in society to let the women do all the crying & pouring out of emotions.

Some women are turned off completely when a man cries, regardless of his reason for doing so. They'll claim he's too soft, weak or not "man enough" & hell, some even laugh at men who cry.

I especially tear up when I see the men who particular try their hardest NOT to cry, actually cry! It's like wowww, he's really crying so that must mean he's truly hurt like no other!

Hell, I've even seen alot of women go from bxtch/hell to "forgiving mode" all just b/c a man started crying while begging for her back!

I'm telling ya, there's just something about seeing a man cry that does something to me! Even when I see men break down on tv, I swear their tears are contagious---just like a man's laugh is contagious when he's dying laughing!

Am I the only one?

Totally depends on why they're crying for me.

I will say one thing...every time I see Charles Ingalls (Pa) quivering lips before he starts to cry, I lose it! No stopping my tears! Gets me everytime!

Posted by CappyyLuv30
But I must say it depends on the cry....some men are so emotional that they cry for anything. Or use it as a manipulation tactic. That's annoying. Go THAT way.

Women too! People who can/do turn on the waterworks to get a reaction make me sick. A "real", emotional crying gets to me too though.

However, it's very different when it's a man or a woman (I am sexist, sue me). I don't reall care if men cry, unless it's a friend or someone I know. Then I want to strengthen them. I want to support my friend and be there (and help if needed) while they get their shit back together. Men get a pep talk/ear/shoulder and a friend.

When it's a woman, I want to dry the tears and tell her it will be okay. I want to comfort, protect, defend... whatever the case may be. I hate seeing a woman cry... unless it's that drama queen crap Cappy is talking about, then it's just annoying.

HA! Oh I've seen it all! Men who show off the most amazing theatrics & tears even when they're full of shxt!

I've seen men cry their eyes out, down on 1 knee begging & saying things like "I swear to God I didn't--cheat/lie or whatever it is they've been accused of, dumped over or caught up in!--" And what makes it worse is that some of the men who cry the most tears are the ones who are the most full of shxt! So I can't lie, every time I see a man crying & on 1 knee begging for forgiveness from his partner, I always consider the fact that it may be all acting. Maybe..maybe not.

Oh let's not even get on the women! Women can make themselves fake-cry in a heartbeat!

One difference b/w men & women though is that for women, tears are contagious (when they see their friend or someone else crying, they'll naturally start to cry too) but when a man sees his boy or someone he knows crying, he probably won't start crying. Sure he may feel bad, but I rarely ever see groups/packs of guys balling their eyes out to eachother lol. And if I ever did, I'd probably die of a heart attack!

Posted by SweetLibra
I was watching the movie The Pursuit of Happyness last night and the part where Will Smith started crying in the subway bathroom with his son, just tears me up. I mean I was balling....lol. I've seen that movie several times and I try not to look at it because that scene always gets me. To see a good man down just tears me up. I hate to see a man feeling defeated.

Shut up!!! I thought I was the only one!!!! Hell, even back in the "Fresh Prince of Belair" days, I'd start tearing up whenever Will would tear up or cry on the show!

Call me corny, but do you guys remember "The Nutty Professor?" The part where Sherman (Professor Clump) was in that comedy club & was getting cracked on in front of everybody for being fat?! The look on his face (even though he didn't cry) almost broke my heart! Either that was amazing acting or Eddie Murphy has really been through that before b/c his expression was too real! I've seen that "look" so many times on the faces of overweight people who are ridiculed for their weight! It breaks my heart! 😢

I think I'd probably die of heart failure if I saw an old man cry!!!!!!!

When the father of the Tuscan shooter was seen breaking down on tv, I almost started crying! Those were tears of a man that was truly hurt, devestated & disappointed! How could someone watching NOT cry with him?!

This older man at my church broke down in front of everyone when his wife of 36 year died of cancer. I think all the women (AND some men) lost it the moment we saw him breaking down in front of everybody! He stood up in front of the entire church & asked God in front of everybody why he didn't take him instead of his wife?! He said he didn't have a reason to live without his wife being here with him. He said he would never find another girlfriend or wife b/c as long as he shall live, his heart & wedding ring belonged to her! ---I don't think I've ever cried that hard over someone ELSE's pain!

No, you are not alone.

Empathy is certianly present if another is hurting in someway. I can get a bit teary-eyed if I see a man crying. I appreciate them more because I was privy to that experience. It's not easy for some men to trust their emotions with another and not made to feel bad about it afterwards. I can certianly appreciate a man more for showing a GENUINE emotion.


With some men, the emotion is right there infront of you, just not in the "conventional" way that most expect. For example, a male friend of mine lost a good friend to an accident. He held it together pretty well, buuuut, he would keep himself "mentally busy/active" in public so what had happened would not be in the forfront of the mind, but knowing his personality, I could just tell he was hurting internally very much. I did get to see a bit of it away from prying eyes and I grew to appreciate him more internally. In other words, what I am trying to say is that just because one is NOT on stage, does not mean one is not performing.

Posted by Archimedes
In other words, what I am trying to say is that just because one is NOT on stage, does not mean one is not performing.

Very true. I was talking about the kind of person that puts up a front/acting all with the purpose/intention to deceive you in a bad way. I think we all have our moments when we put on our smiling faces even when we really just want to break down & cry (hence the saying "Laugh now, cry later")

And for real, it's even more sad when you see a man trying his hardest & doing everything in his power NOT to cry. That makes it worse, b/c I'm always wondering what's stopping him? I can't imagine having to hold in every cry-worthy emotion within me! It'd kill me! And it's even worse that if only men knew, half of us wouldn't judge them even if they decided to break down. But hey, somewhere a long the line they got the impression that if they did anything other than cry in the dark, that they'd be judged or that their manhood would be questioned.

My 1 friend even has problem crying to himself in the dark, when no one is around. Now THAT'S deep! Some men feel the pressure to not cry even when no one is watching or is around! Now that must be miserable 😢

It really hurts me inside :/ I just want to hold them

Posted by krysrenee7
My 1 friend even has problem crying to himself in the dark, when no one is around. Now THAT'S deep! Some men feel the pressure to not cry even when no one is watching or is around! Now that must be miserable 😢

What is worth crying over though? When are they good tears and when is it just being an emo bitch? I can only remember a few times in my adult life that I've cried. I know I'll be a wreck when my parents pass. Hell, the first time I remember crying (aside from when I was little) was cause I thought my mom died.

It was when I was a teenager and my mom was battling cancer. I came home one night and she was sprawled out on the sofa and unresponsive. I tried to wake her up but couldn't. She had been eating one of those mini Ben & Jerry things and it was tipped over on her. I cleaned her up and tried to wake her again and again and again. She was gone... and I lost it. I curled up on the sofa with her and keep saying momma wake up, but she wouldn't. I cried myself to sleep resting on/holding her.

The next morning she woke me up and asked what happened... turns out her meds had just knocked her out (now I know why I am such a heavy sleeper). I told her everything and she said, "You thought I was dead and you went to sleep? No Ambulance?" She was half teasing trying to lighten things up but yeah, that was a bad night that turned out fine.

Holy crap, Librasid...now I'm crying.

Why?... she woke up, all's well that ends well.

😄

@LibraSid: See! Now I'm near tears! Damn it!

When you asked what's considered "cry-worthy" I really don't have an answer to that question b/c I think it differs for some people. It's unfair though b/c none of us can really judge or determine what situations are "worth" crying over or feeling devesated about.

I'm not gonna lie, if I see a guy crying after watching "Romeo & Juliette" I'd probably have that weird/awkward look on my face. But moreso b/c I'm used to men only crying if I was already likely to cry over the same thing too. It's rare that I see a guy break down during a chick flick, especially if I haven't even thought of shedding a tear yet. It's the most awkward moment ever!

My husband once cried when I cried. I almost lost my mom too (walked in on her laying on the floor barely breathing) & when he saw how broken I was at the hospital, he instinctively became broken too; almost as if my pain somehow became his pain, so much so that he cried as if he were the one about to lose his mother. It really made me appreciate him alot more; Having the ability to place yourself in someone else's shoes so much so that you have the same reaction(s) as those actually going through it, is 1 of the SEXIEST qualities I think ANYONE (man or woman) can have.

Posted by CappyyLuv30
And you didn't call someone!?!—??

As dumb as it sounds recalling what happened... no, I didn't. I was convinced she would wake up. I mean, that's my mom. She's like a super hero to me, she can't die. She had her wisdom teeth pulled on a lunch break and then went back to work. My parent had gotten divorced a few years before that and she held us all together during a really bad time. She's too strong to die... but the doctors had recently given her six months to live so maybe even supermom has kyrptonite. I just cried and kept trying to wake her up. I can't explain it. I was sobbing because she was dead but I still thought I could wake her. I just kept telling her to wake up and crying, then I passed out too. Emotional shit like that is exhausting.

Posted by LibraSid
Why?... she woke up, all's well that ends well.

😄

It was the 'Momma, wake up' that got me. I was alone with my Dad when he had his first heart attack. I was 11. So I think I can relate to how you felt.

Quick! Someone say something funny.

Posted by CappyyLuv30
Lesbians.

Lolol! That actually worked! Maybe cause it was so random. Good work! Thanks! 😄

Yep, I laughed too.

No more sad stories from me.

Posted by LibraSid
Yep, I laughed too.

No more sad stories from me.

Cool. Now put your hot profile pic back up.😉

Posted by CappyyLuv30
Idk why this randomly came to mind....I always laughed when Will Smith would fake cry on Fresh Prince. Hahaha

LOL! I loved the Fresh Prince of Belair! Sometimes I'd get a little too attached to the show! You know how it is, when you're watching your fav. show?! Eventually you forget that what's happening on the show is NOT real. BUT the situations/circumstances that movies/tv shows present are reality for some people. And when something hits close to home, I can express empathy/sympathy for even an actor on a tv screen the same way I would've persay I had actually known that person in real life 😢

And by the way, you SUCK for laughing at Will Smith when he cried! =P

i know the feeling.

Posted by SweetLibra
I was watching the movie The Pursuit of Happyness last night and the part where Will Smith started crying in the subway bathroom with his son, just tears me up. I mean I was balling....lol. I've seen that movie several times and I try not to look at it because that scene always gets me. To see a good man down just tears me up. I hate to see a man feeling defeated.

Sooo heart breaking! It's sucha beautiful movie. I'd hate to see anyone crying because of a defeat like that, man or woman.

Posted by ellessque
I don't cry in front of people. no matter what. I don't care what has happened it just won't happen. i will control it until i can be alone.

I've had moments like that before...when someone was crying out their devestation & yet I just stood there, emotionless. But not b/c I didn't feel their pain or want to cry, but moreso that I felt me crying with them wouldn't necessarily help things or make them feel better. I know how I am when I'm crying; the last thing I need is for others around me breaking down too. There's other ways to show that you "care" or that you have empathy for others other than shedding tears.

But I can't lie...If I feel an immense need to break down, nothing will stop that. If I'm at work, maybe I'll hold it in but if I'm around friends/family or even out in public (why be embarrassed if you'll never see those people/strangers again?) I'll try to hold it in as much as I can, but if I can't hold it in, I'll just let it all out & not feel bad about it.

If anything, the "relief" happens when I finally STOP trying to hold in my tears vs. the tears coming out as a whole. Trying to hold back tears is just as much an inner struggle just like actually crying is

Everyone cries, everybody hurts SOMETIMEEEEEEEEEEEE