Why do you want a relationship?

In our parents times relationships had a totally different meaning. Women needed protecting to a certain degree and the man played that role well. Emotional, financial and family burdens were shared. Couples were interested in furthering the bloodline and having children. They were programmed to think like this. It bought them joy. It's what they wanted to do. Society deemed it inappropriate for a young lady/gentleman to be single after a certain age.

In this ever increasing age of freedom and choice, The world seems to be riddled with selfishness, time restraints, sex on demand and crumbling family values. So I ask, does anyone actually even want a relationship? If so, what are your major motivators for wanting one?

Great Question! I honestly think eventually you will need some companionship....and as you get older you will overcome all those obstacles that stand in the way of a sucessful relationship.....its not fun being old and alone...

I also think that everyone will want a relationship......its so natural and there is no way around it unfortunately

Committment is the key...now a days it is so easy to walk away from a relationship...when all it takes is a little commitment if you really love that person

LOL...But then why are people not wanting relationships?...there is a huge breakdown....petty reasons for not wanting one. Have expectations gone through the roof do you think?

I truly believe that people don't actually need one anymore for the reasons that were historically associated with relationships.

because the right one is so hard to find....someone with the same unique values...

you go through so many failed relationships you just give up.....i know ive had my share

I agree Dward...Who wants to grow old alone? I most certainly don't. But it seems like it is actually impossible to find someone who is on the same wavelength anymore. We are all craving for the same thing but too stubborn, proud, selfish to actually do something about it. Maybe its the mindset these days that needs changing rather than the state of relationships.

It's always half-hearted attempts. Nobody wants to put in 100% commitment to making it work. If they don't like the way you speak to them..that is grounds for breaking up..I mean come on...really! What has changed. I have always been a believer that too much choice causes confusion.

I think there is far too much choice out there nowadays..if one shoe doesn't fit, instead of stretching it by wearing socks, we'll dump it and buy a new one..it's an easier option...

I think the same applies now to relationships...

"meaningless sex" I hate it...it leaves you so empty and ashamed

television is a another downfall...i was watching show where there was over 100 woman waiting to be chosen to be someones wife....now thats just sad

^^^ precisely the reasons I cannot have temporary relationships. I don't want to. As a scorpio that feeling is even more profound...the emptyness is horrid...I only tried it once but never doing it again.

GB..perhaps needs and wants were the same thing back in our parents days...

These days..you are right..the need is definitely not there anymore....but I don't think the want is either. Because if Want was there..it would become a need. Right?

::it makes sense to me::

missmorals...you being a scorpio..you are very picky and you have every right to be...i have a very good scorpio friend...she was single for a long time because she was not taking any crap from anyone...she is now married and the guy shes with is so good for her.....i think we will all have our time..then we can look back and thank god that we waited

I was speaking to a guy friend a while ago...and he said the exact same thing...that I am far too picky and the standards are too high for any man to adhere to. He also said, that is why you are single. Well if that is truly the case, then I think I will probably die alone. I am willing to take on someone who falls short of these ideals..Nobody is perfect.

I just think they are normal standards to look for in someone you are considering for the long term. Maybe it is just not my time....but being the impatient person that i am and also tenacious...I just can't sit and do nothing...as much as I would really want to...I can't just give up..not a quitter by nature..but I think the more I keep having these failed attempts, the more dillusional i will become...

Maybe not dillusional...resentments would be the word...I am not that kind of person don't want to be either.
My virgo friend always says, don't see it as a failure, but rather an experience you had to go through in order to learn something else about yourself.

She may be right, but I don't need to learn anything else!....well maybe I do...

there nothing wrong with being picky....its better than settling and being miserable for the rest of your life

you know i was like that...i wanted to man without kids...and I have kids...wierd huh?

i have 2 kids that are adults (gosh im old)....i also have a nine year old

To be honest, I do give them a chance...but then when they fail to impress, its time out for me and they are gone cos subconsciously I stop making an effort too..

GB and why should you have to settle for someone with children..you are still young! As for looking outside the area, London is a big place..trust me..if I can't find someone here then well..God help me..but with the city comes attitude..the guys here think they are demi gods!...but then I guess the same could be said for any city..I considered guys from up north..the last couple of dates were from up there but they seriously are about a hundred years backwards with their mentality and also had major control issues. I don't mind a guy controlling to some extent but I don't want to be their doormat..and they expected this..like I said..in a timewarp somewhere..

I have a feeling I might meet someone on my travels...and not anytime soon...

I am also scared of commitment but not the extent that I will avoid having a relationship. I want a bond that is unbreakable..with the person that cares for me and loves me for me.

Sagigoat what is your birthday...

Do you identify more with a cap or Sag?...cos you seem to switch between the two when you see fit. Are you actually a cuspian or a Cap with a birthday in December?

What = when

i think a relationship should start with no kids...that way you can take care of each other for a while...then if you want to have kids then you can

Careful what u say pretty boy...cos one day you may be in that situation 😛

Why do you want a relationship?

I can't imagine not wanting to have someone to share my life with - maybe that's a Virgo thing...

I do think relationships are harder now: We have more choices, and more opportunities to mess things up, and less of a sense of responsibility for the mistakes we make. It's so much easier to blame someone else, and Western culture encourages passing the buck...

I also think our lives are much more complicated than those of our parents or grandparents - I know that's true in The South, where we've gone through a very rapid rise in urbanization and affluence just in my almost 50 years. My childhood was spent in the "Andy Griffith" era, and most of my relatives lived in rural areas. Now, most of my nieces & nephews live in big cities, and wouldn't have the first clue about how to milk a cow, or raid the hen house, or churn butter... Pick cotton? Hell, no!

Add to all the above: Men & Women are two separate species. We have very different perspectives, and want different things from each other...

Shit! I marvel at the few marriages that do last these days...

if someone is rubbing their relationship in your face....they are not happy


i know a few people like that...i have a co worker who married just for show...she did not love the guy..he did not love her...but they got married and within 4 mos they were divorced....

Posted by Shaks
Closet commitment-phobes unconsciously attract other commitment-phobes. So if you keep on attracting commitment phobes and beat yourself for it, have your inner stuff sorted first.

Shaks, do you really think I am a commitment phobe? I have often asked myself this..I don't think I am....but then my dating success speaks otherwise...maybe I do need to consult the inner self....Seriously I don't think I have a problem with commitment..come on, I am a scorpio..I want nothing BUT commitment...but I always seem to attract the bastards...Maybe I am a bastard too 😢 lol

I like guys with great conversational skills and sense of humour, well established/educated...last time I checked, these weren't necessary the qualities of a commitment phobe...charmer maybe...

I just think I need to be away from men altogether...maybe that will be my "consulting the inner me" time...

What a great smile you have kisses..

Awww...shweet..and geniune.

^ LOL - it's true... no matter how much the person tries to deflect, the other person latches... I still don't think there's anything as commitment phobe, I think everyone has their definition of ideal partner but too many try to generalize and try to fit someone into a box... so natural resistance = commitment phobe? i dunno... who writes the rules anyways?

MM, this tops my list on best questions asked in my dxp time 🙂

So I ask, does anyone actually even want a relationship?

I can honestly answer NO to this ... most often than not, it's not worth my time right now... that may change who knows, when the time comes, deal with it I guess but for now *farts freely*

I have no standards, I just don't give much energy to this aspect... capricorn moon with libra in chart really really sucks!!!

i meant capricorn moon with 'no' libra in chart

LMAO @ farts freely..hahahahhaha...brilliant..

I have been off ill for the past 3 days..(Swollen glands, ear infection)..sigh..sob...weep....but anyway on childrens tv channel, there was a programme on called "why do we fart"..lmao!..it was really informal actually....Farting is healthy..men and women fart equally apparantly. Smelly farts are made from Hydrogen Sulphide..Can you tell it was educational? lol...It's good to fart people!...Flatulate flatulate flatulate..lol..(prolly not even a word but don't care)

But I hear you...with all the nightmares and troubles associated with relationships, I sometimes really do ask myself..what is sooo lacking in my life that I actually want to take this headache on in the first place. But ahhh..I do...I want to have that special bond with someone..

I

I don't want a serious relationship because, well, I have never been in one.


You don't miss what you've never had right?

"i think commitment phobes infact attract the opposite."

I'm familiar with this.