Confused by a Sag (Page 2)

I never said he was a monster, never insinuated he was deliberately attempting to hurt you, I pointed out to you what his behavior meant, I told you he didn't really want anything with you and I was able to assess that through his hot and cold behavior but I said it in a way that made you feel uncomfortable but if you go back and read my post there is nothing in them that indicated that I called him a monster, assclowns is a term I use for guys that don't know what they want or want it all without the discernment of how it effects others, if you felt I was making him to be a monster then for that I apologize but I saw through his behavior and I pointed that out and you insisted that it wasn't that and the psychic only confirmed that he wasn't ready, something I said weeks ago.

And let me tell you something, I can afford to be cynical but I choose NOT to be, even assholes and gullible women deserve respect and deserve to be treated like human beings and if it wasn't for assholes I wouldn't be the woman I am today, looking at RED FLAGS and knowing them doesn't make one cynical, it makes him/her relationship smart, if more women looked at RED FLAGS and knew what they were looking at when they were looking at it instead of dismissing it their would be less women left bewildered, confused with brokenhearts, you going to a psychic tells me a lot about your judgement in choosing men and that tells me that you don't know how to read a man's behavior so you tread carefully very smart idea, he had you confused and that alone says he's not ready and I pointed that out so that makes me cynical?? If you weren't confused and cynical yourself you would have not went to a psychic and save us the reasons why you go to a psychic at least you have enough sense to get some help but don't project that cynical bullshit onto me, that shizz doesn't work with me....yes I was arrogant for saying I told ya so but I did point that out and you were staunch on being confused and a non believer, I never said he was deliberately doing anything to hurt you nor did I indicate he was or is a monster...if a man doesn't know what he wants then he doesn't want what he already have.....I pointed out that he wasn't ready and the psychic confirmed it.

Tiki, The fact that you can sit there and gloat and be all happy and get so much satisfaction out of being right about something that is sad and disappointing for a person and kick someone when they are down shows us that you ARE cynical and bitter and you enjoy watching other people suffer the way you have in your past and that is all I need to know when it comes to judging your character. You are just talking to your own ego when you give your condescending advice and you are not really interested in truly helping anyone or you could not ever say "I told you so". You do have a little bit of wisdom when it comes to relationships but honestly your delivery is really horrible and you will never get anyone to respect your advice if you continue to give advice in this way.

I don't glean happiness out of someone elses pain and if I did I would be brave enough to say it, I am what you think I am but I feel your projecting your sadness, bitterness and cynicism onto me, if you weren't then we wouldn't be having this conversation, sorry things didn't work out and and I have said that I knew you could handle this issue and you have and I'm glad you have your closure, I was never mean towards you and I never attempted to deliberately make you feel bad, you stated you were confused and I gave a point of view that matched up with the psychics, he wasn't ready and that makes me cyncial and bitter?? Makes no sense but I acknowledge your sadness and I will leave you to that...wishing you peace and healing...

Oh and I will work on my delivery but most of the people that I help one on one are forewarned about how I deliver my advice, I have to be me but I respect what you said

Tiki, Thank you for your concern and I apologise that I said you don't care about anyone when you are giving your advice. I know that you do care or why would you even bother. What I meant by your delivery is that it immediately puts people on the defensive when the first words that you say is "Why are you being so Dense?" Just because you started it with "no offense" did not make it feel any less condescending. That being said I do respect and agree with a lot of your advice and I like to hear it as long as you take out the personal attacks and the I told you so's. Now that we have hashed all of that out let's get back on each others friends list. Even when we respectfully disagree we really are on the same side. 🙂

Even when we respectfully disagree we really are on the same side.

I totally agree http://photobucket.com/images/emoticons% 20hug" target="_blank">

Hahaha Archer!! I love how optomistic you are. I wish I could see it the way you and and Love_365 does. My real life Sag friend who has read all of his e-mails to me is telling me to not give up on him. She also knew him from the last time we dated and she says that she has no doubt that he loves me fiercely. (her words) She keeps telling me he just needs time to sort out his feelings and that he will come around. She thinks he will come around sooner rather than later. She says that he is scared to be around me too much because it scares him that I might be trying to take away his independence and freedom and that he tries to stay away from me because he knows I am the one who can do it.

Tiki, are you a Sag too?? Just curious if there are any sags out there who don't think I should just be patient with him. Most other signs would tell me to just dump his ass. 🙂

I'm an Aquarius, Leo moon

No not dump, just date other men so there will be a balane in YOU, so you won't feel like your waiting for him, confusion passes as time goes by and even if it doesn't you won't be sitting around waiting for him to figure it all out for himself, no resentment will build and you will still be free to date him if and when he chooses to come around again.

typo...balance

Yeah, I know what you mean Tiki I already feel like the confusion is passing. I just needed to define what was going on and I think I have now. I have to just get back out and start dating others right now. I won't completely give up on him, but I just need to be more like friends with him at this point for my own sanity. I had to let go of that fantasy of the living happily ever after storybook ending.

"he had you confused and that alone says he's not ready..."

I don't think that's true. Whenever I enter a new relationship I am confused to massive degrees, but that only means that I don't know how to interpret the other person's behaviour, not that they are not ready. Were they behaving in exactly the same way, but with someone else, I would see that they were interested in more, but because I am involved in the situation, I am less able to read peoples' behaviour. I am more likely to attribute their positive actions to their being nice people, than to attribute it to their interest in me, as I worry that they may not be interested, and then I get confused ('but what about the way they looked at me that time? But then they spent 20 minutes having a laugh with my friend, so does he like her more...?' etc.)

"I feel your projecting your sadness, bitterness and cynicism onto me, if you weren't then we wouldn't be having this conversation,"

I don't think that Tikki means to be rude or cruel, I just think that she has had little use for diplomacy in her life. Am I wrong tikki? I do think that maybe Tikki did project some negative feelings onto your saggitarian though, but probably not on purpose.

just date other men so there will be a balane in YOU, so you won't feel like your waiting for him, confusion passes as time goes by and even if it doesn't you won't be sitting around waiting for him to figure it all out for himself, no resentment will build and you will still be free to date him if and when he chooses to come around again.

I agree with this advice too.

I heard from my guy a couple days ago and we spent 2 hours talking and defining where we will go from here. We both admitted all of our fears and laid everything out on the table. We talked until my phone went dead and then we talked some more the next morning for another hour finishing up the conversation. He says he has feelings and that he is still very attracted to me, but that he doesn't know what he wants and he doesn't want to hurt me and he just wants do nothing but continue to grow our friendship and our connection and he is unable to make any decisions right now. He says he knows that we have an amazing chemistry and that the bedroom has always worked for us, but we never really got to develop a more mature connection and he wants to see if we have that now that we are older in a non-sexual way. I told him that I understood and that I feel the exact same way. Of course he said a million other things that I felt he was trying to convince himself and me of about how great it is to be able to be alone now that he thinks he has mastered the art of being alone. Haha!!



The thing is that I don't believe that he just wants to be friends. He ended the conversation by telling me that he admires me so much and that he loves me and asked if I wanted to get together before he left for the holidays or after he gets back and I said let's wait until you get back. Then he asked if he could call me and keep in touch by phone while he was gone and I said of course. My intuition is telling me that he is completely in love with me and he just doesn't know it yet.🙂 Am I crazy for thinking this? Am I just fooling myself?? I would probably think someone else was crazy! I guess it's just a feeling I get about him because of the way he used to be in the past. The whole not being able to get him to commit but he would never leave the relationship either. I am so glad that we had the talk though. It feels so much better knowing exactly what to expect now (or not to expect) and that all of the pressure is off.....at least for now. 🙂 In the meantime I am dating others and focusing on my business. I have a lunch date with a Virgo next week.

Silverbow, If only Cancerlass could do it for me 😉 That would be so much easier. If only some of my girlfriends were men. Of course my lesbian friends tell me I'm crazy to think that women are any easier then men.

LOL!!! It would be hard to have a relationship that involved 2 women. One in a relationship is bad enough!!!
It does sound to me as though he is in love with you, and you are with him, but you are defo doing the best thing by youirself by dating others and taking it slowly.