Do Sags not like confrontation in RX/Friendships?

Of course, there's a story behind this but that ^ is the gist of it.

confrontation is good...as long as it stays classy.

Hmm. Define classy? I didn't deliver any low blows (from my point of view anyway), expletives, or lots of exclamation marks, but I didn't sugarcoat what I thought. I basically told him he was right about being average, and that I was more concerned with putting effort into where it's appreciated and I was okay with parting ways.

and what did he do when you told him that?

Deleted me from Facebook and we have not spoken since.

Not that it makes a difference but I didn't call him average out of the blue. He is an amazing guy to me on paper - earning his PhD, tackled weight issues, talented painter, plays several stringed instruments and the piano. But he would call himself average? Wish to be more creative? Say he wasn't intelligent? C'mon! Even when I did reassure him how great he was, none of that was given back during the eight months I knew him.

I guess I was expecting more from him, not to fight for me to stay but at least fight for yourself. From a Sag's point of view it probably isn't worth the energy though?

He has Moon in Capricorn, Mercury in Scorpio, Venus in Sag, Mars in Scorpio / Libra (it's at 0 degrees so...)

Oh, he also blogged about me on tumblr (*holds hand in front of face* I know.) a lot. Emo stuff from pop punk bands. It couldn't have all been about me, but there were a few posts I know for sure were. Yes, I creeped.

sorry, whats an RX/Friendship?

Nothing wrong with confrontation but you probably came off as dishonest.

I've had a couple of Aries fems as friends. Love you to death but you can be tempernrntal. This was an argument plains and he took what you said as the truth about how you felt regardless of your compliments before. So, he broke it off.

I don't mind it at all

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Nothing wrong with confrontation but you probably came off as dishonest.

I've had a couple of Aries fems as friends. Love you to death but you can be tempernrntal. This was an argument plains and he took what you said as the truth about how you felt regardless of your compliments before. So, he broke it off.

Dishonest? I'm intrigued. How, and do Sagittarius' feelings never change?

I'm not saying "I don't understand why he deleted me!" because I get why - I blatantly and basically said I didn't care what he did one way or another. What I am surprised and curious about is not standing up for one's self. If someone said to me what I said to him I would respond a) proving them wrong or something, or b) telling them to fuck off. Lol.

If someone said to me what I said to him I would respond a) proving them wrong or something, or b) telling them to fuck off. Lol.

thats cause your wanting to pick a fight Ram. Saggis arent typically like that unless they have aries in their chart.

its not that he's not standing up for himself, he just has better things to do than some facebook/twitter beef.

you are correct in that its wasted energy.

some saggis, including myself, have to be really at the edge to engage in discourse.

Posted by AudaciousAries

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Nothing wrong with confrontation but you probably came off as dishonest.

I've had a couple of Aries fems as friends. Love you to death but you can be tempernrntal. This was an argument plains and he took what you said as the truth about how you felt regardless of your compliments before. So, he broke it off.

Dishonest? I'm intrigued. How, and do Sagittarius' feelings never change?

I'm not saying "I don't understand why he deleted me!" because I get why - I blatantly and basically said I didn't care what he did one way or another. What I am surprised and curious about is not standing up for one's self. If someone said to me what I said to him I would respond a) proving them wrong or something, or b) telling them to fuck off. Lol.

click to expand

you want him to "fight for himself", prove you wrong and/or argue with you as if his esteem is dependent upon your contrived opinion of him. you sound a bit crazy and manipulative as you are just trying to get a rise out of him. i woulld cut you off so quick...

Posted by msX

Posted by AudaciousAries

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Nothing wrong with confrontation but you probably came off as dishonest.

I've had a couple of Aries fems as friends. Love you to death but you can be tempernrntal. This was an argument plains and he took what you said as the truth about how you felt regardless of your compliments before. So, he broke it off.

Dishonest? I'm intrigued. How, and do Sagittarius' feelings never change?

I'm not saying "I don't understand why he deleted me!" because I get why - I blatantly and basically said I didn't care what he did one way or another. What I am surprised and curious about is not standing up for one's self. If someone said to me what I said to him I would respond a) proving them wrong or something, or b) telling them to fuck off. Lol.

you want him to "fight for himself", prove you wrong and/or argue with you as if his esteem is dependent upon your contrived opinion of him. you sound a bit crazy and manipulative as you are just trying to get a rise out of him. i woulld cut you off so quick...

click to expand

Sigh.

I sound crazy to you based on your contrived opinion of me. That doesn't bother me near as much as your misunderstanding of what I'm asking. Wondering WHY he didn't fight for himself is not the same thing as WANTING someone to fight for themselves. Being a fire sign there is some sort of ego there, no? In this case, no apparently not.

"As if his esteem is dependent on you contrived opinion of him." I didn't want a debate that went on forever, all I'm saying is there was no lashing out and that surprised me, but I'm okay without him one way or another.

Posted by Lhasa

Posted by AudaciousAries
I guess I was expecting more from him, not to fight for me to stay but at least fight for yourself. From a Sag's point of view it probably isn't worth the energy though?

Just read this about fellow saggie Winston Churchill and thought this was appropriate for this thread:

Thus emboldened, I said: 'Mr Winston Churchill, sir, to what do you attribute your success in life?'
Without an instant's hesitation, he replied: 'Conservation of effort. Never stand up when you can sit down. And never sit down when you can lie down.'

lol

click to expand

Efficiency. Got it.

Ah well, to each their own.

So you don't actually consider him "average", but told him that intending to ruffle feathers and play off of his insecurity? If you were just reassuring him to receive ego-stroking in return, disappointment is inevitable.

His confidence level sounds nonexistent. Why would he speak positively on his behalf, given his self-opinion is low? Chances are, those who don't acknowledge their own redeeming traits won't fight it if others confirm the negative viewpoint they already have of themselves.

Intending to ruffle his feathers - at the moment when I sent it that wasn't my intention. It was more of "You keep telling me your average, fine, I believe you." Given his accomplishments and then our lack of being able to communicate with one another I felt he was cocky and just fishing for compliments. No, didn't reassure him to receive ego stroking in return. I wasn't perfect in this friendship, but I meant it when I told him nice things about himself. I just know I have nice qualities too and any sort of acknowledgment about them would have been appreciated, even just once. I'm just absolutely baffled how you cannot have any sort of confidence when you've achieved what he has. A PhD program! Losing a 100 lbs! Baffled.

um...you said you were expecting him to fight for himself.
i quoted you, kid.
you are manipulative.
your entire last post oozes of this.
deal.

Posted by msX
um...you said you were expecting him to fight for himself.
i quoted you, kid.
you are manipulative.
your entire last post oozes of this.
deal.

Eye roll. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. With you it's a lose / lose because I can argue I wasn't all day long and it makes no difference. It doesn't matter. "I was surprised he didn't fight for himself," means I was expecting him to. I was expecting some kind of lash out, yeah... to me that seems normal. Did I say that to GET HIM to lash out? No. There's a difference. You don't seem to get it though, so have a good day. 🙂

Posted by AudaciousAries

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Nothing wrong with confrontation but you probably came off as dishonest.

I've had a couple of Aries fems as friends. Love you to death but you can be tempernrntal. This was an argument plains and he took what you said as the truth about how you felt regardless of your compliments before. So, he broke it off.

Dishonest? I'm intrigued. How, and do Sagittarius' feelings never change?

I'm not saying "I don't understand why he deleted me!" because I get why - I blatantly and basically said I didn't care what he did one way or another. What I am surprised and curious about is not standing up for one's self. If someone said to me what I said to him I would respond a) proving them wrong or something, or b) telling them to fuck off. Lol.

click to expand

If you didn't care one way or the other you wouldn't have said anything at all. You would've just accepted him as he is. Two, he didn't fit to your standards. He didn't do what you thought he should do which pissed you off even more. What you have to learn is not fighting every battle. He's comfortable in himself and a Sag feels we don't have to prove anything to anybody..lWe won't be controlled. But your actions told him the truth about how you saw him so he broke it off. You may have come across as a fake friend.

Our feelings do change. We're a mutable sign...key word mutate. We constantly watch you and evaluate the situation. If you change or don't stay consistent in how you treat us...or begin to mistreat us, we back off

Posted by AudaciousAries
So you don't actually consider him "average", but told him that intending to ruffle feathers and play off of his insecurity? If you were just reassuring him to receive ego-stroking in return, disappointment is inevitable.

His confidence level sounds nonexistent. Why would he speak positively on his behalf, given his self-opinion is low? Chances are, those who don't acknowledge their own redeeming traits won't fight it if others confirm the negative viewpoint they already have of themselves.

Intending to ruffle his feathers - at the moment when I sent it that wasn't my intention. It was more of "You keep telling me your average, fine, I believe you." Given his accomplishments and then our lack of being able to communicate with one another I felt he was cocky and just fishing for compliments. No, didn't reassure him to receive ego stroking in return. I wasn't perfect in this friendship, but I meant it when I told him nice things about himself. I just know I have nice qualities too and any sort of acknowledgment about them would have been appreciated, even just once. I'm just absolutely baffled how you cannot have any sort of confidence when you've achieved what he has. A PhD program! Losing a 100 lbs! Baffled.

What you don't realize is his words are him humbling himself but you took them as weakness.

Posted by beautifulsoul74

If you didn't care one way or the other you wouldn't have said anything at all.

I appreciate your input BS74. However, when I said "didn't care one way or another." I meant deleting me, or being rude back wouldn't have affected me at that point ("Then why are you asking why he didn't respond back?!" Because I've never had experience "confronting" a Sag before. Leos scare me with their temper and I thought since Sag was a fire sign they'd be the same.)

Ask yourself, "why do I want confrontation? "

Posted by DMV
Ask yourself, "why do I want confrontation? "

At first I thought this was dumb because it was so obvious, but then I realized my answer to that question should have been what I said to him. Good thinking DMV.

Posted by AudaciousAries

Posted by beautifulsoul74

If you didn't care one way or the other you wouldn't have said anything at all.

I appreciate your input BS74. However, when I said "didn't care one way or another." I meant deleting me, or being rude back wouldn't have affected me at that point ("Then why are you asking why he didn't respond back?!" Because I've never had experience "confronting" a Sag before. Leos scare me with their temper and I thought since Sag was a fire sign they'd be the same.)

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I see and understand. We're cool and laid back...none of that dramatic overblown display of temper(ego really) that Leos are known for as if they don't know they're the root cause of the situation. Sorry Leos...just the truth. We get upset but drop it and keep it moving with no grudges. You'll hear from him at some point.

I see and understand. We're cool and laid back...none of that dramatic overblown display of temper(ego really) that Leos are known for as if they don't know they're the root cause of the situation. Sorry Leos...just the truth. We get upset but drop it and keep it moving with no grudges. You'll hear from him at some point.

I probably won't, it's been a month. Life goes on.

"Leos: As if they don't know they're the root cause of the situation."

Haha! Speaking my language already.

^^^_??