Men say this time and time again. How do you fix it?
Ever been told you're too unpredictable?
Even the closest of my friends say I'm very unpredictable. I had my bff telling me just yesterday that I'm a package full of surprises. Lol! I don't think I wanna change that. .. I can't actually!
The last thing you want anyone to accuse of being IS predictable. Thankfully thanks to my Fishy sun, Virgin moon and Centaur ascendant, I'm anything but predictable.
No, but I've never been called predictable either. I think that might be because I'm reliable generally speaking, but often surprising with things that I say and do. That means I can be trusted but I'm not boring. 🙂
I've been told this before - if they can't hang then they can't hang...not my problem lol.
I stumbled across this quote a year or two ago...I like it 🙂
I stumbled across this quote a year or two ago...I like it 🙂
I'm very predictable. People are the ones who expect me to be like them.
Posted by Nepturanuswell thanks, that was real ... coming from a male ... mine says I'm "sensitive" which I don't find that I like either but I'm still exploring him and his ways - at least he's watching how he interacts with me once he understands where my "sensitivities" are - that speaks volumes
Men will say anything to fit their agenda. just be yourself.
Posted by tizianiPosted by DistilledHard to say anything concrete as I'd probably just avoid it if I sensed it in a woman.Posted by tizianiWhat are some things that are unpredictable for you in a woman?Posted by DistilledAll I can think of is: nearly every woman I've been in a relationship has called me unpredictable. But if I saw them as unpredictable, that wouldn't sit well with me. So, hell, we all have double standards and that might just be one of mine.Posted by tizianiI've sensed this. Especially when getting to know someone. Until there's a level of comfort it can seem like a game if you don't know the person, especially with 2 being like that. If you're self-aware, it just takes time to notice someone's stability or unpredictable limits.
Maybe only one person is allowed to be the unpredictable one in the relationship.
click to expand
Ouch!!!
Posted by tizianiPosted by Teenalol I spent a while trying to think of an answer but I've got nothing.Posted by tizianiPosted by DistilledHard to say anything concrete as I'd probably just avoid it if I sensed it in a woman.Posted by tizianiWhat are some things that are unpredictable for you in a woman?Posted by DistilledAll I can think of is: nearly every woman I've been in a relationship has called me unpredictable. But if I saw them as unpredictable, that wouldn't sit well with me. So, hell, we all have double standards and that might just be one of mine.Posted by tizianiI've sensed this. Especially when getting to know someone. Until there's a level of comfort it can seem like a game if you don't know the person, especially with 2 being like that. If you're self-aware, it just takes time to notice someone's stability or unpredictable limits.
Maybe only one person is allowed to be the unpredictable one in the relationship.
Ouch!!!
click to expand
Lol Tiz!! That's cute.. your sweet Libra sun ? 😄
All I can think of is: nearly every woman I've been in a relationship has called me unpredictable. But if I saw them as unpredictable, that wouldn't sit well with me. So, hell, we all have double standards and that might just be one of mine.
What are some things that are unpredictable for you in a woman?
Hard to say anything concrete as I'd probably just avoid it if I sensed it in a woman.
Ouch!!!
lol I spent a while trying to think of an answer but I've got nothing.
there was that article on trust that touched on predictability - not sure exactly what the @OP friend is referencing - could be general spontaneity which isn't bad but not everyone can be like that - or inability to trust based on the fact that they don't know how that person is going to react to every situation and that makes things a bit scary ...
Posted by tctaAll I can think of is: nearly every woman I've been in a relationship has called me unpredictable. But if I saw them as unpredictable, that wouldn't sit well with me. So, hell, we all have double standards and that might just be one of mine.
What are some things that are unpredictable for you in a woman?
Hard to say anything concrete as I'd probably just avoid it if I sensed it in a woman.
Ouch!!!
lol I spent a while trying to think of an answer but I've got nothing.
there was that article on trust that touched on predictability
The quoting got effed up lol! What did the article say btw?
What is Trust?
Trust is both and emotional and logical act. Emotionally, it is where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of your openness. Logically, it is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, calculating expected utility based on hard performance data, and concluded that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner. In practice, trust is a bit of both. I trust you because I have experienced your trustworthiness and because I have faith in human nature.
We feel trust. Emotions associated with trust include companionship, friendship, love, agreement, relaxation, comfort.
There are a number of different ways we can define trust. Here are the dimensions of trust and consequent definitions.
Predictability
It is a normal part of the human condition to be constantly forecasting ahead. We build internal models of the world based both on our experiences and what others tell us, and then use these to guess what will happen next. This allows us to spot and prepare for threats and also make plans to achieve our longer-term goals.
The greatest unpredictability is at 50% ; a reliable enemy can be preferable to an unpredictable friend, as at least we know where we are with them.
Definition 1: Trust means being able to predict what other people will do and what situations will occur. If we can surround ourselves with people we trust, then we can create a safe present and an even better future.
Value exchange
Most of what we do with other people is based around exchange, which is the basis for all businesses as well as simple relationships. At its simplest, it is exchange of goods. I will swap you two sheep for one cow. It is easy to calculate the value in such material bargaining. Things get more complex when less tangible forces come into play. A parent exchanges attention for love. A company exchanges not only pay but good working conditions for the intellectual and manual efforts of its workforce.
Value exchange works because we each value things differently. If I have a whole flock of sheep but no milk, then I can do business with a person who has a herd of cows but no clothes. This principle of reciprocity is what binds societies together.
Trust in value exchange occurs when we do not know fully whether what we are receiving is what we expect. When we buy a car, don’t want to be sold a ringer which the seller knows is faulty. When I get advice in business, I want it to be based on facts, not wild opinions.
Definition 2: Trust means making an exchange with someone when you do not have full knowledge about them, their intent and the things they are offering to you.
Delayed reciprocity
Exchange is not just about an immediate swapping of cows and sheep or hugs and kisses. What makes companies and societies really work is that something is given now, but the return is paid back some time in the future. The advantage of this is that we can create a more flexible environment, where you can get what you need when you need it, rather than having to save up for it.
Trust now becomes particularly important, because otherwise we are giving something for nothing. The delay we have placed in the reciprocal arrangement adds a high level of uncertainty which we need to mitigate through trust.
What is often called the ‘golden rule’ is a simple formula for creating trust. ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ It sets up the dynamic for my giving you something now with the hope of getting back some unspecified thing in the indeterminate future.
Definition 3: Trust means giving something now with an expectation that it will be repaid, possibly in some unspecified way at some unspecified time in the future.
Exposed vulnerabilities
When we trust other people, we may not only be giving them something in hope of getting something else back in the future, we may also be exposing ourselves in a way that they can take advantage of our vulnerabilities. If I buy a car from you and I do not know a good price, you can lie to me so you get a better bargain. If I tell you in confidence about the problems I am having with work, you could use this to further your own career at my expense.
Although the threat of retribution or projected feelings of guilt can counteract your temptation to abuse my exposed vulnerabilities, if you succumb I still get hurt and may still end up with the shorter stick. For our transaction to complete successfully, I must be able to trust that such agonies will not come to pass.
Definition 4: Trust means enabling other people to take advantage of your vulnerabilities—but expecting that they will not do this.
@Teena - forgot to quote you
Trust is both and emotional and logical act. Emotionally, it is where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of your openness. Logically, it is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, calculating expected utility based on hard performance data, and concluded that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner. In practice, trust is a bit of both. I trust you because I have experienced your trustworthiness and because I have faith in human nature.
We feel trust. Emotions associated with trust include companionship, friendship, love, agreement, relaxation, comfort.
There are a number of different ways we can define trust. Here are the dimensions of trust and consequent definitions.
Predictability
It is a normal part of the human condition to be constantly forecasting ahead. We build internal models of the world based both on our experiences and what others tell us, and then use these to guess what will happen next. This allows us to spot and prepare for threats and also make plans to achieve our longer-term goals.
The greatest unpredictability is at 50% ; a reliable enemy can be preferable to an unpredictable friend, as at least we know where we are with them.
Definition 1: Trust means being able to predict what other people will do and what situations will occur. If we can surround ourselves with people we trust, then we can create a safe present and an even better future.
Value exchange
Most of what we do with other people is based around exchange, which is the basis for all businesses as well as simple relationships. At its simplest, it is exchange of goods. I will swap you two sheep for one cow. It is easy to calculate the value in such material bargaining. Things get more complex when less tangible forces come into play. A parent exchanges attention for love. A company exchanges not only pay but good working conditions for the intellectual and manual efforts of its workforce.
Value exchange works because we each value things differently. If I have a whole flock of sheep but no milk, then I can do business with a person who has a herd of cows but no clothes. This principle of reciprocity is what binds societies together.
Trust in value exchange occurs when we do not know fully whether what we are receiving is what we expect. When we buy a car, don’t want to be sold a ringer which the seller knows is faulty. When I get advice in business, I want it to be based on facts, not wild opinions.
Definition 2: Trust means making an exchange with someone when you do not have full knowledge about them, their intent and the things they are offering to you.
Delayed reciprocity
Exchange is not just about an immediate swapping of cows and sheep or hugs and kisses. What makes companies and societies really work is that something is given now, but the return is paid back some time in the future. The advantage of this is that we can create a more flexible environment, where you can get what you need when you need it, rather than having to save up for it.
Trust now becomes particularly important, because otherwise we are giving something for nothing. The delay we have placed in the reciprocal arrangement adds a high level of uncertainty which we need to mitigate through trust.
What is often called the ‘golden rule’ is a simple formula for creating trust. ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ It sets up the dynamic for my giving you something now with the hope of getting back some unspecified thing in the indeterminate future.
Definition 3: Trust means giving something now with an expectation that it will be repaid, possibly in some unspecified way at some unspecified time in the future.
Exposed vulnerabilities
When we trust other people, we may not only be giving them something in hope of getting something else back in the future, we may also be exposing ourselves in a way that they can take advantage of our vulnerabilities. If I buy a car from you and I do not know a good price, you can lie to me so you get a better bargain. If I tell you in confidence about the problems I am having with work, you could use this to further your own career at my expense.
Although the threat of retribution or projected feelings of guilt can counteract your temptation to abuse my exposed vulnerabilities, if you succumb I still get hurt and may still end up with the shorter stick. For our transaction to complete successfully, I must be able to trust that such agonies will not come to pass.
Definition 4: Trust means enabling other people to take advantage of your vulnerabilities—but expecting that they will not do this.
@Teena - forgot to quote you
Posted by tctaI still didn't get any tag notification lol!
What is Trust?
Trust is both and emotional and logical act. Emotionally, it is where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of your openness. Logically, it is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, calculating expected utility based on hard performance data, and concluded that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner. In practice, trust is a bit of both. I trust you because I have experienced your trustworthiness and because I have faith in human nature.
We feel trust. Emotions associated with trust include companionship, friendship, love, agreement, relaxation, comfort.
There are a number of different ways we can define trust. Here are the dimensions of trust and consequent definitions.
Predictability
It is a normal part of the human condition to be constantly forecasting ahead. We build internal models of the world based both on our experiences and what others tell us, and then use these to guess what will happen next. This allows us to spot and prepare for threats and also make plans to achieve our longer-term goals.
The greatest unpredictability is at 50% ; a reliable enemy can be preferable to an unpredictable friend, as at least we know where we are with them.
Definition 1: Trust means being able to predict what other people will do and what situations will occur. If we can surround ourselves with people we trust, then we can create a safe present and an even better future.
Value exchange
Most of what we do with other people is based around exchange, which is the basis for all businesses as well as simple relationships. At its simplest, it is exchange of goods. I will swap you two sheep for one cow. It is easy to calculate the value in such material bargaining. Things get more complex when less tangible forces come into play. A parent exchanges attention for love. A company exchanges not only pay but good working conditions for the intellectual and manual efforts of its workforce.
Value exchange works because we each value things differently. If I have a whole flock of sheep but no milk, then I can do business with a person who has a herd of cows but no clothes. This principle of reciprocity is what binds societies together.
Trust in value exchange occurs when we do not know fully whether what we are receiving is what we expect. When we buy a car, don’t want to be sold a ringer which the seller knows is faulty. When I get advice in business, I want it to be based on facts, not wild opinions.
Definition 2: Trust means making an exchange with someone when you do not have full knowledge about them, their intent and the things they are offering to you.
Delayed reciprocity
Exchange is not just about an immediate swapping of cows and sheep or hugs and kisses. What makes companies and societies really work is that something is given now, but the return is paid back some time in the future. The advantage of this is that we can create a more flexible environment, where you can get what you need when you need it, rather than having to save up for it.
Trust now becomes particularly important, because otherwise we are giving something for nothing. The delay we have placed in the reciprocal arrangement adds a high level of uncertainty which we need to mitigate through trust.
What is often called the ‘golden rule’ is a simple formula for creating trust. ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ It sets up the dynamic for my giving you something now with the hope of getting back some unspecified thing in the indeterminate future.
Definition 3: Trust means giving something now with an expectation that it will be repaid, possibly in some unspecified way at some unspecified time in the future.
Exposed vulnerabilities
When we trust other people, we may not only be giving them something in hope of getting something else back in the future, we may also be exposing ourselves in a way that they can take advantage of our vulnerabilities. If I buy a car from you and I do not know a good price, you can lie to me so you get a better bargain. If I tell you in confidence about the problems I am having with work, you could use this to further your own career at my expense.
Although the threat of retribution or projected feelings of guilt can counteract your temptation to abuse my exposed vulnerabilities, if you succumb I still get hurt and may still end up with the shorter stick. For our transaction to complete successfully, I must be able to trust that such agonies will not come to pass.
Definition 4: Trust means enabling other people to take advantage of your vulnerabilities—but expecting that they will not do this.
@Teena - forgot to quote you
So yeah...the first part of the article is pretty understandable. I think that can directly relate to trust. But one being unpredictable doesn't imply they're also unreliable or untrustworthy. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to keep so many people in my life.Also, as I said, I don't think it necessarily is something one can control. Like I'm not intentionally unpredictable. Maybe I'd hate if someone is unpredictable just like Tiz. But I never came across someone who I thought were unpredictable.Or.. I don't expect anything n that helps maybe.
Posted by tizianiIt's rewarding sharing time with you too. 🙂Posted by CopperDoveIt's very rewarding sharing time with you.
No, but I've never been called predictable either. I think that might be because I'm reliable generally speaking, but often surprising with things that I say and do. That means I can be trusted but I'm not boring. 🙂
click to expand
And as I read your reply, "timepieces" came into my mind, reminding me that one day, when you have the time, I'd enjoy discussing watches with you.
O think I am predictable when I want to be.
When I said can I ask a stupid question...he yells yes! I love you!!!
Then it's usually hysterical laugh because I said that's not what was about to ask.
He just looks at me...lol
LMAO
When I said can I ask a stupid question...he yells yes! I love you!!!
Then it's usually hysterical laugh because I said that's not what was about to ask.
He just looks at me...lol
LMAO
Posted by tizianiI don't, yet, except that I often have been drawn to pocket watches.Posted by CopperDoveDo you have a favourite timepiece or favourite name?Posted by tizianiIt's rewarding sharing time with you too. 🙂Posted by CopperDoveIt's very rewarding sharing time with you.
No, but I've never been called predictable either. I think that might be because I'm reliable generally speaking, but often surprising with things that I say and do. That means I can be trusted but I'm not boring. 🙂
And as I read your reply, "timepieces" came into my mind, reminding me that one day, when you have the time, I'd enjoy discussing watches with you.
click to expand
Posted by tizianiOh cool! 🙂Posted by CopperDovePosted by tizianiI don't, yet, except that I often have been drawn to pocket watches.Posted by CopperDoveDo you have a favourite timepiece or favourite name?Posted by tizianiIt's rewarding sharing time with you too. 🙂Posted by CopperDoveIt's very rewarding sharing time with you.
No, but I've never been called predictable either. I think that might be because I'm reliable generally speaking, but often surprising with things that I say and do. That means I can be trusted but I'm not boring. 🙂
And as I read your reply, "timepieces" came into my mind, reminding me that one day, when you have the time, I'd enjoy discussing watches with you.
Then I may have just the thing 🙂
click to expand
Posted by PootyButtI said me too! Is us Gems?
I think I'm extremely predictable, but other people seem to disagree. I think it takes a while to see the method in my madness, but there IS a method.
I just don't see jumping out of the closet
scaring him into a heart attach as a good thing
Lol
Posted by tizianiYou can sense that woman unpredictable?Posted by DistilledHard to say anything concrete as I'd probably just avoid it if I sensed it in a woman.Posted by tizianiWhat are some things that are unpredictable for you in a woman?Posted by DistilledAll I can think of is: nearly every woman I've been in a relationship has called me unpredictable. But if I saw them as unpredictable, that wouldn't sit well with me. So, hell, we all have double standards and that might just be one of mine.Posted by tizianiI've sensed this. Especially when getting to know someone. Until there's a level of comfort it can seem like a game if you don't know the person, especially with 2 being like that. If you're self-aware, it just takes time to notice someone's stability or unpredictable limits.
Maybe only one person is allowed to be the unpredictable one in the relationship.
click to expand
So you won't give her a chance?
Posted by tizianiSo unpredictable is always negative?Posted by GemitatiMy logic is just that I hang around a romance I enjoy, and avoid what I don't enjoy.Posted by tizianiYou can sense that woman unpredictable?Posted by DistilledHard to say anything concrete as I'd probably just avoid it if I sensed it in a woman.Posted by tizianiWhat are some things that are unpredictable for you in a woman?Posted by DistilledAll I can think of is: nearly every woman I've been in a relationship has called me unpredictable. But if I saw them as unpredictable, that wouldn't sit well with me. So, hell, we all have double standards and that might just be one of mine.Posted by tizianiI've sensed this. Especially when getting to know someone. Until there's a level of comfort it can seem like a game if you don't know the person, especially with 2 being like that. If you're self-aware, it just takes time to notice someone's stability or unpredictable limits.
Maybe only one person is allowed to be the unpredictable one in the relationship.
So you won't give her a chance?
click to expand
Posted by PootyButtYou misread me 100% ...Posted by GemitatiI sense that you are jealous. If I wanted advice, I would have asked. 😉Posted by PootyButtI said me too! Is us Gems?
I think I'm extremely predictable, but other people seem to disagree. I think it takes a while to see the method in my madness, but there IS a method.
I just don't see jumping out of the closet
scaring him into a heart attach as a good thing
Lol
click to expand
Posted by tizianithat's so true. i'd jump ship as soon as i realized the guy was not as stable and predicable as a rock. most didn't realize that i was not predictable until it was too late. most never realized that i needed an anchor. they thought i look like one myself. scorp is a real anchor lolPosted by DistilledAll I can think of is: nearly every woman I've been in a relationship has called me unpredictable. But if I saw them as unpredictable, that wouldn't sit well with me. So, hell, we all have double standards and that might just be one of mine.Posted by tizianiI've sensed this. Especially when getting to know someone. Until there's a level of comfort it can seem like a game if you don't know the person, especially with 2 being like that. If you're self-aware, it just takes time to notice someone's stability or unpredictable limits.
Maybe only one person is allowed to be the unpredictable one in the relationship.
click to expand
Posted by tizianiWell what the hell. Two unpredicable people can create and accomplish amazing acts of art.Posted by DistilledHard to say anything concrete as I'd probably just avoid it if I sensed it in a woman.Posted by tizianiWhat are some things that are unpredictable for you in a woman?Posted by DistilledAll I can think of is: nearly every woman I've been in a relationship has called me unpredictable. But if I saw them as unpredictable, that wouldn't sit well with me. So, hell, we all have double standards and that might just be one of mine.Posted by tizianiI've sensed this. Especially when getting to know someone. Until there's a level of comfort it can seem like a game if you don't know the person, especially with 2 being like that. If you're self-aware, it just takes time to notice someone's stability or unpredictable limits.
Maybe only one person is allowed to be the unpredictable one in the relationship.
click to expand
I'm loyal, but unpredictable. I thought that would be good. But being told it's bad makes me wonder if some men just want to be comfortable and settle.
I'm there without a doubt. Love is true. Yet I change a lot.
My Libra ex loved that, he said it was like dating a new women every day. Never got boring.
I'm there without a doubt. Love is true. Yet I change a lot.
My Libra ex loved that, he said it was like dating a new women every day. Never got boring.
Posted by tizianiPosted by GemitatiI don't enjoy it.Posted by tizianiSo unpredictable is always negative?Posted by GemitatiMy logic is just that I hang around a romance I enjoy, and avoid what I don't enjoy.Posted by tizianiYou can sense that woman unpredictable?Posted by DistilledHard to say anything concrete as I'd probably just avoid it if I sensed it in a woman.Posted by tizianiWhat are some things that are unpredictable for you in a woman?Posted by DistilledAll I can think of is: nearly every woman I've been in a relationship has called me unpredictable. But if I saw them as unpredictable, that wouldn't sit well with me. So, hell, we all have double standards and that might just be one of mine.Posted by tizianiI've sensed this. Especially when getting to know someone. Until there's a level of comfort it can seem like a game if you don't know the person, especially with 2 being like that. If you're self-aware, it just takes time to notice someone's stability or unpredictable limits.
Maybe only one person is allowed to be the unpredictable one in the relationship.
So you won't give her a chance?
click to expand
Could depend on the unpredictable nature cause there are a plethora of scenarios that would be ideal, IME
I'm neither predictable or unpredictable
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