From an intense relationship to the friendzone

Greetings all. I've got a story to tell you. I've met this sag in his mid 30s about 6 months ago, we worked together. He started flirting with me quite intensively and when I gave in we went out a few times, it was great. He had doubts about dating a co-worker but kept flirting with me so we got into an intense relationship really quickly. Seeing each other all the time, talking about future scenarios at times. After a couple of months he lost his job and got really sick, at which times I stood by him and supported him throughout the whole thing,although he was quite grumpy all the time. It got better. I had a planned 5 week trip so I went away and we didn't talk much since he's not really a phone talk/text guy, but he kept in touch. He had issues with the company he worked for where I now still am so he said some harsh things while I was away but then apologised when I came back. He started a new job, got a dog and got really busy. We barely spent any time together and it was mostly because I initiated it. I lost my vibrance and confidence because I knew things were going south and I couldn't even get him the excitement sags need because he was always busy. I decided to leave it and haven't heard from him in a month. Now that's it's almost Christmas and everyone's so happy I couldn't resist texting him. When he didn't reply I got angry and told him that since he doesn't care about this relationship I can return his things. We caught up and had a really nice chat then when time came to the "us" topic he said his feelings were intense at the start but when I went away he enjoyed his alone time and they changed. He kept saying how young and beautiful I am and how our sexual chemistry is amazing but he feels it's wrong to lead me on. He thought about it. He gave me a couple of practical reasons of why we probably wouldn't work such as, he likes spicy food and I don't (which I was eating more and more of because of him), that I still work for the firm he has bad memories with and such. He didn't want to try again. Silly reasons yet he chose them and not me. He wants to stay friends and enjoyed to catch up. I'm obviously heartbroken and hope you guys can give me an advise on how to move forward and either stay friends with him or try to wake the same feelings he had in the beginning. Thank you in advance.

Thank you for the advise, exxtasyx. I'll definitely back off and let him contact me.

I think you should stand back and let him be, i personally think its difficult to stay friends with an ex , it just doesnt work for me.

Thank you everyone, i appreciate your help. It's useful to evaluate things after a relationship, you need to sit down and think what was the good and bad in it. At the end of the day, if he simply lost his feelings for me when i went away, i couldn't have done anything differently.

He doesn't think about what i'd have to give up to be with him, we all make little sacrifices for relationships.

I've unfollowed him on facebook so i don't see his posts and changed his number in my phone to "YDB" aka you deserve better, so if he ever contacts me i remember that! I've done alright before with not messaging him while we were still dating, so i think i can handle not contacting him until i get over this. Def not letting him sweeting talk me into sleeping with him or anything like that, if he wants to be with me again he's gonna have to chase me for at least a couple of months and be willing to make sacrifices!

I don't agree with what's being said about sag men. My older brother is a sag (he has a cap girlfriend), and you won't meet a more serious man. He is ALL about his cap and he is so dedicated, loyal, caring, loving, romantically cheesy...He is completely invested in her. He is a very serious guy and does not mess with women's emotions. The only thing that will make him walk is of the woman is fickle in her emotions. They've been together for over a year now. He's an engineering major and she's an astrophysicist major. I can't wait for the wedding.

Posted by Gemsgem
Greetings all. I've got a story to tell you. I've met this sag in his mid 30s about 6 months ago, we worked together. He started flirting with me quite intensively and when I gave in we went out a few times, it was great. He had doubts about dating a co-worker but kept flirting with me so we got into an intense relationship really quickly. Seeing each other all the time, talking about future scenarios at times. After a couple of months he lost his job and got really sick, at which times I stood by him and supported him throughout the whole thing,although he was quite grumpy all the time. It got better. I had a planned 5 week trip so I went away and we didn't talk much since he's not really a phone talk/text guy, but he kept in touch. He had issues with the company he worked for where I now still am so he said some harsh things while I was away but then apologised when I came back. He started a new job, got a dog and got really busy. We barely spent any time together and it was mostly because I initiated it. I lost my vibrance and confidence because I knew things were going south and I couldn't even get him the excitement sags need because he was always busy. I decided to leave it and haven't heard from him in a month. Now that's it's almost Christmas and everyone's so happy I couldn't resist texting him. When he didn't reply I got angry and told him that since he doesn't care about this relationship I can return his things. We caught up and had a really nice chat then when time came to the "us" topic he said his feelings were intense at the start but when I went away he enjoyed his alone time and they changed. He kept saying how young and beautiful I am and how our sexual chemistry is amazing but he feels it's wrong to lead me on. He thought about it. He gave me a couple of practical reasons of why we probably wouldn't work such as, he likes spicy food and I don't (which I was eating more and more of because of him), that I still work for the firm he has bad memories with and such. He didn't want to try again. Silly reasons yet he chose them and not me. He wants to stay friends and enjoyed to catch up. I'm obviously heartbroken and hope you guys can give me an advise on how to move forward and either stay friends with him or try to wake the same feelings he had in the beginning. Thank you in advance.

wow. sounds pretty cut and dry to me. His feelings changed and he bowed out.

its your choice if you want to be friends or not. do whatever you can handle emotionally.

but hes not going to want a relationship

Posted by LillyPetal
I don't agree with what's being said about sag men. My older brother is a sag (he has a cap girlfriend), and you won't meet a more serious man. He is ALL about his cap and he is so dedicated, loyal, caring, loving, romantically cheesy...He is completely invested in her. He is a very serious guy and does not mess with women's emotions. The only thing that will make him walk is of the woman is fickle in her emotions. They've been together for over a year now. He's an engineering major and she's an astrophysicist major. I can't wait for the wedding.

OP, exactly. there are good men out there. But hey if you wanna swear off all saggis, so be it. its your life, date who you want.

Just dont say youve moved on and then comment on every single sag thread. Cause thats not moving on.

It sounds the breakup wasnt that bad.

Posted by DMV

Posted by LillyPetal
I don't agree with what's being said about sag men. My older brother is a sag (he has a cap girlfriend), and you won't meet a more serious man. He is ALL about his cap and he is so dedicated, loyal, caring, loving, romantically cheesy...He is completely invested in her. He is a very serious guy and does not mess with women's emotions. The only thing that will make him walk is of the woman is fickle in her emotions. They've been together for over a year now. He's an engineering major and she's an astrophysicist major. I can't wait for the wedding.

OP, exactly. there are good men out there. But hey if you wanna swear off all saggis, so be it. its your life, date who you want.

Just dont say youve moved on and then comment on every single sag thread. Cause thats not moving on.

It sounds the breakup wasnt that bad.

click to expand

DMV, well this is my first experience with a sagittarius so even if I wanted to swear off all of them I wouldn't have the grounds for it.

Whether my breakup was good or bad it still hurts to lose the person you have feelings for and you have hope in your heart that it's not the end, no matter what they say. I haven't moved on yet as it's very recent and I'm not posting in any other threads.

Yes, there are good men out there and if I happen to come across a sag again I'll use the knowledge I received from dating this guy and people sharing their experiences to see if it works.

Thank you.