Indecisive Sagittarius Ex?

So things with my Sagittarius boyfriend (currently ex) have been rocky for the past year, sadly. I'm a Virgo. I know they say this couple is a bad pairing/rocky (but hey if Beyonce and Aaron Paul can do it, why can't I?). I love this guy.

We were hot and heavy in April/May. I had went to Japan, and toward the end of May things fell apart. He went from serious (actually getting us a place to live together), to he was tired of everything. He was over stressed and I kept bothering him. I was just excited about seeing him. The other part is I think he became interested in another girl. He bought her some stupid gifts and stuff.. I was surprised, this was the same guy who had just went from hot. heavy. serious. To `were just friends`. Ouch.

When I got back he immediately wrote me to ask who picked me up from the airport. I was frustrated, blocked him. Then he texted me to go eat, I did. He acted cold, pompously flirty. Lol. Things happened, of course, and we ended up dating again. Of course he was still talking to -her-. I questioned if he was interested in her beyond friends, and he denied them. But he went again from hot and heavy, to cool. Just like a switch.

He started only having time to see me on the weekends. I accepted it, and decided to spend my free time with my hobbies and making more friends. I wanted to learn Korean/Japanese. So I made a Korean friend/Japanese friend. He found out and was obviously jealous. First he was acting like really I am doing so much stuff, you better care, like `staying out late`. Once I didn't respond to that, he told me to call him. Asked what I did all weekend he didn't `make time` to see me. I said nothing much. And he was like `oh yeah? I bet. I don't think this is working for me.` He talked to me for a while. said `you don't want what I have to offer. And I just want friends right now, not a relationship.` Ok.

He texted me a week later if he can come get his hat. He told me b4 he didn't like it anymore, to keep it. So I dropped it off without seeing him. A week after that he deleted fb, and his snap chat. He usually checks my snap chats but then he went totally underground and I didn't hear from him. 5 days after that, he reappears, checking all my snaps and immediately as I post them almost.

Any ideas? Is he going to start texting me soon? Or am I just getting my hopes up? I want him to come back.. I just feel like.. writing him first just makes him go `Oh she's interested, i don't care anymore.

Hey, I know it probably sounds lame me saying, hey.. he's checking my snap chats now. But, he went from checking them to ignoring me completely, then he checked them scarcely, now its becoming more and more frequent. Like he only gets on to check my things, not send anything. My friends say he is probably breaking because its been like.. about a month since we broke up, and two weeks since we talked.

Anything I can do to get him interested in writing me? Some people say to be seen with other guys, some say its a huge no no. I don't want to really be with other guys or anything. I am still really loyal to him.

Kick his ass to the curb... thats way more flip flopping then anyone is willing to take.

Posted by Twodrinkminimum
Why do you want him back? You didn't mention any good qualities...does he have any?

OH of course. He's got really good qualities.. I am sorry. He treats me like I am his world when he isn't stressed lol.

But yeah there is a lot of back and forth going on. And I want him back because I just love him. :/ I don't want to keep going back and forth and if he loves me I want to keep things together if we do work it out. Just wonder what I can do to keep it that way?

Thats not on you thats on him.. clearly he is too unstable to figure on anything he really wants.

You can either hope for a miracle or move on.

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by whitedream

Posted by Twodrinkminimum
Why do you want him back? You didn't mention any good qualities...does he have any?

OH of course. He's got really good qualities.. I am sorry. He treats me like I am his world when he isn't stressed lol.

But yeah there is a lot of back and forth going on. And I want him back because I just love him. :/ I don't want to keep going back and forth and if he loves me I want to keep things together if we do work it out. Just wonder what I can do to keep it that way?

Never love someone more than they love you. Stressed or not.. You should be making excuses for him to treat you badly. He either steps up to the plate or you kick him to the kerb. You need to set your standards higher...

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you're right. I did at a point love him more than he loved me. thank you for your advice. I guess I shouldn't write him to see if he has changed his mind or anything. and I thought loving someone was enough and that it would work out. I don't get how he treats me like this honestly. 😢

Get over him. He isn't worth it. And more cute guys will come your way.

I love him.. i still do.. but he told me he doesn't want me in my life anymore,.. I called and tried talking to him.

After I became frustrated and told him that `Im going to try meeting people now, and sorry for calling you so late. Thank you.` ..

I can't believe things fell apart like this. I Really don't know what to do. He's a sag so I understand if he's jealous or mad.. but honestly telling me I can't be apart of his life. Why would he keep updated with what Im doing at all.

busyeyes.. i guess you already told her what she needed to know
so stop imposing and saying same thing over and over like you do everywhere.
would really appreciate.

@OP:

Older Sag male here who is having similar issues with a Virgo.

I'm going to be honest about what I see and I'm in no way judging you or attacking you. It looks like you went hot n heavy with this guy for a few weeks and no sooner did he commit then you turned your focus and energy outside the relationship and left him hanging and most likely because you over thought it and became paranoid or he wasn't perfect enough. So that steady dose of communication you gave in the beginning ceased or you slowly started to cut it off...probably one word responses. You were probably very open with him in the beginning but that ceased as well. So guess what, he got suspicious. Hence the questions. You most probably thought him crazy and jealous without considering the fact that you've emotionally withdrew and didn't tell him you have doubts. Then he sees you giving "a friend" the emotional energy that he should be getting.

So, the Sag finally doesn't take you seriously anymore(even though he probably loves and cares for you) and finds someone else...making the same mistake you did with him and your new friend by going back and forth between you and her but now has decided to move on with her.

Sweetheart, than man believed in you and took you at your word and nothing demonstrates that more than him willing to move you in. It's ok to have doubts and fears or even decide you want your freedom...or he's not good enough. The one sign you can be honest with is us...we'll understand. But don't sabotage it because you can't be upfront and try to push them away. If you weren't sure, you should've expressed that early. Good luck to you.

@beautifulsoul74

I did ask him if there was something happening between him and this girl.. and he just was buying her gifts and taking picture of her on hi phone. Saying he was `proud to be her friend` and making a lot of comments about her when we would hang out. I never talked about people I hang out with. I actually understand a lot of what you're saying, and I am not saying I am perfect. I am just saying that this man means more to me than anyone else, and that I would go as far as I can for him I don't want to lose him. Neither of us have been perfect, but I am all for staying committed and loyal to him.


If I did leave any details out it is unintentional, or I figured I wrote too much already lol. I did withdraw, when I felt he was more interested in her, I would ask. He would get frustrated. I can be jealous, so can he, lol. I did make mistakes. But I do not want to lose him, and if theres any way yo work things out I will do it. There are things I need to change and work on of myself, I am willing and trying to do that. The more I learn about him the more I adjust to make sure things fall together better and flow. I need harmony.

The reason he decided not to move in with me this is what happened, I asked him why we hadn't had time to talk, and I was upset about it, then he fought with me saying that he had been putting things together, and everything blew up. I was hurt and said I was done talking about everything. And he apologized. I gave him space, and the next day he wrote me saying, he wanted `us to be done and over for good.` Then he kept watching my fb. . and wrote me after i landed lol. Like somehow he found out my flight time, and exactly 1, when I landed he asked how my flight was. I responded said it was fine, but i was super hurt. Anyway, I thought he didn't want me anymore. So I blocked him on fb, and then he texted me the next day asking if I wanted to go eat lol. Like nothing happened. We met a week later, and he pulled me on his chest and held me out of no where. But when I asked if he missed me he refused to say. Silent pensive type idk. xD

My situation right now.. is despite that he said were done and everything, I discussed with his parents that we had a bill we needed to pay, and we never finished discussing it, I let his parents know he needed to leave his part at his parents, and they agreed and told him. I had already called him, saying I missed him, and he told me not to text call, or other him again so I fig

Posted by VirgoFlirt
look young virgo........when a guy starts buying gifts for another female and not you..its time to leave or ask whats going on here.

for your on good disable your phones gps young virgo. cut your loses and dont look back.

I did ask him, he just said `she needed it` it was a card holder for her phone. Around 20 $ . It just stung quite a bit. But I try not to let me bring that down and showed confidence in myself, I think that looks better than being insecure over it to a Sag. :/

I'm turning 26 soon, I just want to start settling down with this guy, get married and be stable.. 😢

Yeah, actually, he has tracked me phone a few times, and my other social media. I just think he cared a lot.. not sure if he does anymore..

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by harryn
busyeyes.. i guess you already told her what she needed to know
so stop imposing and saying same thing over and over like you do everywhere.
would really appreciate.

Er who are you?

Is this YOUR thread?

Answers: no! !

So go back to your play pen and suck a lolly pop! I just despise young girls wasting their live and time on worthless thrash!!

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ohh well im a guy for starters, a guy who is speaking for all the sagis and people who are tired listening your hate towards people.
is it my thread? well it aint your's as well!
and a lolly pop? i prefer ice cream, little kids when they come running towards me or when puppies sleep in my arms.
thing is you dont know me, neither i know you (nor i wanna know) but seriously this forum is made for discussion and to help people
which unfortunately you are doing by venting out your own hate and anger, And woman this aint called helping.

Yeah... busy, I appreciate your advice. Really, I do. But I just want to hear positive, or constructive criticism if possible. That can help me.. I don't hate this guy, yes I can see your point, but I got it. If you have any other advice on how I can mend things, I would love to hear it, of course. 🙂


As far as kicking him out of my life..., I am not really wanting to do that. But thank you for trying to help.

I have noticed that Sags have this double standard. They can do whatever and when you do something they have problems. You made a Korean friend, that made him jealous while he continued talking to another girl.
I find Sag men girly as they want people to come after them.Let him call you on his own and don't allow him to act snobbish.