Is it just me?...

I've been so much more sensitive to how people treat me. I can't tell if I'm being treated different or am just changing.
I've always been known as loud and lively but something happened to me during the Summer. I have no clue as to what it could have been! It all started with being a little overly sensitive and frustrated when I'd feel ignored, like being interrupted or spoken over, just feeling unheard continuously. I realized that voicing my hurt feelings didn't change anyone's behavior and started keeping to myself more. I would try to reason with myself. These would often happen while with friends and everyone would be talking over each other.
And then there was the long fall-out with my mother that brought a lot of hurt feelings. I still can't understand how or why she treated me the way she did but this wasn't the first time. My mother has broken my heart countless times.

I'm almost 24. I've dealt with so many issues in all my years, all sorts of abuse and disappointments and feelings of complete loneliness. My life has only been getting better in the recent years. I feel like I have nothing to really complain about anymore!! Yet... I have less energy now than during a more depressing times in my life. I'm not loud or as easily excited. I don't feel depressed but I feel like I've given up. Or maybe I've developed a more mellow and careless attitude towards life.

I don't feel like myself anymore. Though I wonder who I was to begin with... -_-
My vision for my future is a total blur. Last year I had the next ten years planned out and was looking forward to it all. Now I've scratch out so many of it. I have no plans!! I stick to my goals still, but the passion is gone.

I kind of miss the old me. I was more adventurous, had more spunk, more life in me.

A part of me does like the new me though. I don't smile as easily and oddly I feel ok with that. I'm tired of smiling! Sometimes I wonder if I used to smile to please others more than myself.
Maybe I should embrace this new self!... I'm just confused about this transition. I'm confused about this new sensitive side. I've cried more during the Summer than I had in years! And in front of people 0_0!! I managed to get a hold of some of the sensitivity now, but it's still weird!!! It's very weird and new to me.


Is this an age thing? Or are the planets placed in an odd order up there— What's going on with me?!?!?

I'm the same way. I used to switch hobbies, or read something new, but now I'm starting to get more (less?) emotional. I've gotten more sensible of how others feel, and it's a downer, so I've learned to care less.

I'm glad to know I'm not alone.
It does bother me a little to lose my passions, to care less. Even more when the drive is gone!

Posted by beautifuldiaster
🙂

I think this is called, "growth."

Same boat up maturity river. Better than the shit river though.


I believe this transition is necessary. Unavoidable even.

If we can make send of it and fill our new shoes we own we can walk taller and prouder

Hang in there lady bug, that's number one.

And yes. SMILE. EMBRACE THE CHANGE. YOU ARE BRCOMING WHO YOU ARE MEANT TO BE AND ITS NIT SUPPOSED TO BE EASY.

all my love.

Thank you for this!!! Makes the most sense by far. I just hope the new me doesn't change her mind for all I've worked towards so far in life. As exciting as it may feel to not have the next few years planned out anymore, it's also nerve wrecking! I wonder if I'll ever be passionate about the goals I have been working towards again. I feel melancholy about everything, still content, just not so happy. Sometimes I wonder if all the past pains I've buried are just catching up with me, forcing me to finally look past a beautiful illusion I had created for myself. This really could be me growing more emotionally aware and mature. I should be glad I'm not becoming bitter instead!

Again, I'm glad I'm not the only one who experiences this! I feel like I'm a lot more honest with myself as a result, too. ^_^ There real are bright sides to this sort of change!!