Sag Man Lack of Ambitions

Hello sags. I'm an aquarius woman, been married a sag man for 6 years. I've been holding it back myself and i think i need to vent.

Sorry if it'd be a long post.

I've been thinking a lot about my marriage with him even from the very first year.

Everything was great at first. We hit it off so quick, he proposed at our second meeting and i said yes.

I was young and just thought that it'd be great to get married and able to get out of my broken family then start a new life with someone nice.

I adore his gentle side, it seemed like he is a hardworker and i love it. He was a security but i didn't care about that, because i could see that he's working towards a better level of his career so i thought i'd be there beside him and support him.

Few months after we got married, things just didn't seem like i used to see.

I figured out that his life is handled by his dad. And he let him do it anyway.

As time goes by, i know him more and how he just always being a mommy's boy who doesn't really like to take things seriously.

Like, he went to school but i'm not sure if he really learned much. Then after he graduated, he got a job arranged by his dad. And all he gotta do is just enjoying the ride and waiting for a better career position which i later knew arranged by his dad too.

Now he has a better position in his office. Which is cool. But, i don't see him doing much for his own career sake. Or just to improve himself.

I brought up some topics about get a higher degree, go back to college, etc. He even got a schollarship offer from his division, but he never showed much antusiasm or interest on that. Which to me is kinda dissapointing.

He is cool enough just to be in his seat now. Following directions from his bosses, yet always complaining about how hard his job is.

I always been there supporting and listening to it, but now it sounds like he is complaining every single day. Even over small thing that he has to do like only printing out a letter.

We just got our own house two weeks ago.

And if i never really really tried to ask him to looking for a house around he wouldn't ever try to even find one.

I'm ok with us renting a house tho, but i'm getting bothered by his dad's opinion about how we haven't had our own house. And yes he actually can afford it anyway.

He spend his time off work playing games. And now i feel like being his mom.

He always asking me for even a lil things.

Like how to do this or that, or ask me to do simple things that he actually can do it himself if he just want to learn how to.

It seems like he couldn't make a decision himself without asking for my opinion or give him a decision about things.

It's nice in the beginning as i feel that my thoughts are appreciated and i feel useful for that.

But now i feel like i actually just mind our business by myself. And i'm getting tired of it.

He wants kids. But to be honest with all that has been going on i just don't dare to even think about having a kid with him.

There are times when we're struggling financially. And because we need a quick big cash i did some stuff like being a webcam girl and selling my body to help him out.

He shocked and didn't like it at first, but now it seems like he is fine with it. And accepting all the monet that i got by doing those stuff anyway.

I feel like i'm getting so tired of this.

Yet i don't want to hurt him, as he loves me so much and treats me nice.

I've been thinking about divorce a lot, but i don't want to let him down and i don't want to make my family dissapointed because of it.

Any opinions sags?