safire
@safire
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 174 · Topics: 11
What motivates you?
I think you already know the answer to this but looking for clarification. You already said it yourself, careers, relationships, family , wealth does not motivate you. What about the things that really make you happy? And if you know it doesn't motivate you, why do you keep searching for it? Seems like a waste when you could really put that focus elsewhere, where it counts.
I have always told myself that if I feel unsettled in a time or place, it's because it's time to move on. You got what you needed from that current situation, take what you learned and explore other avenues
I have always told myself that if I feel unsettled in a time or place, it's because it's time to move on. You got what you needed from that current situation, take what you learned and explore other avenues
ful answers, thank you everyone 🙂
Posted by crimsonxsoleil
I have always told myself that if I feel unsettled in a time or place, it's because it's time to move on. You got what you needed from that current situation, take what you learned and explore other avenues
Those sentences really resonated with me and got me thinking. I do indeed feel unsettled, like within my current reality I have accomplished what I wanted to accomplish. It is clearly time to move one, thank you for pointing it out to me. It is far too easy to get comfortable and start fearing change. You might be right that I am looking for clarification, although I would hate to admit it hehe. I do have something in mind, but it is almost too big for me to even dream of.
Posted by bnr7013
I think part of my problem was that I spent so much time planning success (relationships, career, school, etc.) that I never paid much attention to the meaning behind it all. Right now, I'm trying to focus on things that make me happy! My motivation is to find a forever happy place lol 🙂click to expand
Likewise, I completely identify with you here. All my life I have spent living in the future, planning my life and success. I have noticed it is extremely addicting, too. I try to be mindful and stay in the current moment, but I am addicted to the thrill of visioning out the future. Such simple advice but so important, a great reminder there, what could there be more important than focusing on doing things that make you happy. I keep forgetting the importance of it, getting lost in my plans and all the "should do"s. Aww a forever happy place, that is where I want to be too 🙂
Posted by SunraySag87
I feel like closing my eyes and dreaming is already satisfying enough. Never cared for relationships, wealth and things according ''to the book and society''. Hell I'd feel trapped. I've settled for a good job earning and saving enough to do what I love, traveling whenever I can. When it comes to relationships I feel like I'm too busy for any commitment, be it fysical or even mentally. Allow yourself to float and drift on that boat, the wind will blow you into the right direction 🙂 Do what you love doing the most and when it feels right, it will be alright. That's my take. 🙂
I feel the same way and it scares me so much. I dream all these futures for myself, but have come to realize those are not what I actually want, or I don't want the downsides of them at least. It's like I am addicted to the dreaming part. While I'm all for spending time in my head, it does freak me out that I would rather do that than actually put myself out there and accomplish something more tangible for myself. Just when did I learn all these fears that limit my actions, I wonder. I love your confidence and independent attitude, gimme some of that! 🙂 I kind of long for a relationship but when I'm in one, it feels like I am too busy for it like you described. Gets in the way of.. being me I guess.. It is almost as if we are conditioned to think a relationship is needed to make us happy, sacrificing and compromising ourselves. Maybe I'm just really selfish or something. Time to set sail, Ima let that wind blow me to some place new! Thank you for the encouraging words SunraySag!
Posted by RainDancer88
Such a Sag thread - LOVE IT
For me -
I find inspiration in:
1. obtaining more career degrees
2. worker harder for a raise at work/impress my boss
3. Looking good 🙂 So I work out, run, eat healthy, dress up etc
4. Being happy - so I spend time with family, feel useful and help others
I am not really in a relationship but I want to be. Not worried about it though. If I focus on me and my goals than my man will find me 🙂
good luck
I like your ambition sag! Says something about you that you'd place those goals before number four on your list, "being happy" 😄 Seems like you are building a great life for yourself, I am sure in time someone very special will come along and respect you for all the hard work you've done to build a solid foundation for your life. I try to believe this to be true for myself as well. It feels like the more I develop myself, the harder it gets to find a partner though! Kinda sad huh. Good luck to you too 🙂
Good question.
The idea of actually completing something right now is my motivation right now.
Shrugs.
Oh and connecting the next dot..literally I'll sit here and some random thought Wil pop in my head that I'll start pondering. ..
The idea of actually completing something right now is my motivation right now.
Shrugs.
Oh and connecting the next dot..literally I'll sit here and some random thought Wil pop in my head that I'll start pondering. ..
To be better than everyone else around me, to be successful in whatever I chose, to have absolute freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want to do it and put myself in a position to be this way.
idk. Wherever my moods are
bills
Great question, I don't know...I find the older I get, the more I realize it's all bullshit. I feel like I'm playing someone else's game, living by pre-set rules made long before I was born. However, while I'm here I'll try to find some meaning in it all...but probably won't ever bring any kids into it. Sorry if it doesn't exactly answer your question but...it's how I feel right now.. 🙂
Thank you for all the replies, didn't expect this many! 🙂
I have been thinking about all your comments this week and feels like I am close to coming to some personal conclusions. Not sure how related this is to the topic, maybe it's just a flow of thoughts, but here's some realizations from this week:
- Maybe there doesn't need to be a larger-than-life goal for one's life. From personal experience, those make me put a lot of pressure on myself (also on others actually) and I end up feeling guilty and disappointed a lot for not performing up to my expectations
- Focusing on things that make you happy.. It is such a simple notion but challenging to implement. Should be asking "what is it that I want right now, what would make me the happiest right now" many times a day, instead of always focusing on pleasing someone else. If this is too difficult of a question to answer, it is just as useful to ask "what is it that I should do right now that would benefit me the most tomorrow". It all comes down to learning to love yourself. However, there seems to be a catch in here..
- ..it's not about shifting your thinking. When this week I realized I am not thinking of myself very lovingly or treating myself the way I deserve to be treated, my initial reaction was to adjust the way I think of myself. I was struggling with this for a few days, failing to see how it would somehow make me feel better or turn me into a healthier, more "whole" person. Then it came to me - love is about respect. Loving someone includes toughness which initially might not be appreciated. To give an extreme example, you would probably get a drug-addicted family member into rehab out of love, no matter how much they would hate you for it. I think when you love yourself, you would want your body to be as healthy as possible instead of giving into every temptation to indulge in unhealthy foods. You would want your environment to be neat and tidy, even if you hate cleaning. You'd work hard to land the job you love, even though it is much easier to stay at your current one. You would want all these for a loved one, so why not for yourself. I wonder why I have been neglecting or indirectly harming myself as much as I have, I am just as worthy as anyone else.
I have been thinking about all your comments this week and feels like I am close to coming to some personal conclusions. Not sure how related this is to the topic, maybe it's just a flow of thoughts, but here's some realizations from this week:
- Maybe there doesn't need to be a larger-than-life goal for one's life. From personal experience, those make me put a lot of pressure on myself (also on others actually) and I end up feeling guilty and disappointed a lot for not performing up to my expectations
- Focusing on things that make you happy.. It is such a simple notion but challenging to implement. Should be asking "what is it that I want right now, what would make me the happiest right now" many times a day, instead of always focusing on pleasing someone else. If this is too difficult of a question to answer, it is just as useful to ask "what is it that I should do right now that would benefit me the most tomorrow". It all comes down to learning to love yourself. However, there seems to be a catch in here..
- ..it's not about shifting your thinking. When this week I realized I am not thinking of myself very lovingly or treating myself the way I deserve to be treated, my initial reaction was to adjust the way I think of myself. I was struggling with this for a few days, failing to see how it would somehow make me feel better or turn me into a healthier, more "whole" person. Then it came to me - love is about respect. Loving someone includes toughness which initially might not be appreciated. To give an extreme example, you would probably get a drug-addicted family member into rehab out of love, no matter how much they would hate you for it. I think when you love yourself, you would want your body to be as healthy as possible instead of giving into every temptation to indulge in unhealthy foods. You would want your environment to be neat and tidy, even if you hate cleaning. You'd work hard to land the job you love, even though it is much easier to stay at your current one. You would want all these for a loved one, so why not for yourself. I wonder why I have been neglecting or indirectly harming myself as much as I have, I am just as worthy as anyone else.
- It's a bit of a clich?, but how could I be with someone else, have them respect and appreciate me when I don't even know my own worth. I never quite understood the meaning of this, but having now put some serious thought into it, every new guy I'd date mirrored me in this sense. I want to feel like the first prize in a relationship, not like the standard shit everyone gets for participating. I am no longer going to make a man feel like a king if they treat me like a servant instead of a queen. It's not the man's fault in most of the cases, rather just my own for not being able to stay strong and true to myself.
- For now, I am going to stop looking for love. It will find me when I am ready for it 😄 It is suffocating to think about a relationship and the loss of free time and freedom in general. The right man will appear eventually.
- Giving to others. I have been absorbed in my thoughts and completely lost in them, so this week I wanted to try giving to others and see if it could help me sort me out. Be it compliments, encouraging or cheering someone up, seeing all the good come back to me in double the amount has made me feel great. I had forgotten how good it feels to help someone out.
- SunraySag87 talked about being stuck in "the dreaming part". I thought of this too, and it feels like the bigger the dream the bigger the fears related to it. I am so done with letting fears control my actions, so I took the first small step towards my dream. So far it has made me extremely anxious but has felt incredibly liberating and exciting at the same time. Having done that, the second step has revealed itself to me and I am going to take that one too, in the near future. This was definitely the thrill that was missing from my life, the kind that makes you feel alive and motivated. SunMoonStars basically said that she feels life is just playing someone else's game. I definitely feel that way too sometimes, but whenever I push the boundaries of my comfort zone(s), it makes me feel like I'm the one in control and I can turn this life into pure awesomeness.
It's all still a huge mess in my head, but I feel much better now. Thank you again for all the replies 🙂 I love how none of you sagittarians have judged me (at least not aloud) for over-thinking. I get it a lot in real life!
- For now, I am going to stop looking for love. It will find me when I am ready for it 😄 It is suffocating to think about a relationship and the loss of free time and freedom in general. The right man will appear eventually.
- Giving to others. I have been absorbed in my thoughts and completely lost in them, so this week I wanted to try giving to others and see if it could help me sort me out. Be it compliments, encouraging or cheering someone up, seeing all the good come back to me in double the amount has made me feel great. I had forgotten how good it feels to help someone out.
- SunraySag87 talked about being stuck in "the dreaming part". I thought of this too, and it feels like the bigger the dream the bigger the fears related to it. I am so done with letting fears control my actions, so I took the first small step towards my dream. So far it has made me extremely anxious but has felt incredibly liberating and exciting at the same time. Having done that, the second step has revealed itself to me and I am going to take that one too, in the near future. This was definitely the thrill that was missing from my life, the kind that makes you feel alive and motivated. SunMoonStars basically said that she feels life is just playing someone else's game. I definitely feel that way too sometimes, but whenever I push the boundaries of my comfort zone(s), it makes me feel like I'm the one in control and I can turn this life into pure awesomeness.
It's all still a huge mess in my head, but I feel much better now. Thank you again for all the replies 🙂 I love how none of you sagittarians have judged me (at least not aloud) for over-thinking. I get it a lot in real life!
Posted by aquavita2Posted by Wynter
bills
hahaga. I changed my life to living in a hotel so my bills are kind of strange the last few years . it is less of an issue yet I do overspend this way but one anxiety less. no electric bill no mortgage no rent no furniture no bed linens . just a hotel bill.click to expand
Hmm. I wonder if I could do that, hotel living. Minimalist existence. But.....I dunno. I need my cat and my material possessions. And dirt to plant flowers in.
But it's nice to think about 🙂
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I am curious to hear your thoughts on this. Personally, most of the time I feel like I am simply floating in life without much direction or idea of what I'm actually doing or where I'm going. I have always felt like there is some great and meaningful purpose for me in life, but it's not always enough to keep me going. Career, relationships, family, wealth - none of them seem to motivate me one bit. I am thinking it has to come from inside, from some deeper place. I am in a comfortable place in life but that place feels so empty. I notice I tend to look for a relationship to fill some kind of a void and it scares me.
What is your take on this? Your wisdom would be much appreciated 🙂