a poem i wrote about my dad

it's rainy and cold here, so i've been cooped up all day brooding. life's kinda sucking right now so i have a poem to show for it!

something for a somebody

outside i found myself with a phone
dialing my dad's number for
no reason; i wanted to say something
to somebody. anything: to speak to a ghost
i have had haunted lips for
as long as you've been gone;
clock hands can't play the
guitar as good as yours can
and for all this time i've wondered
how it's possible to lose words
which were never there to begin with
i've wondered
what words will not
change once they've been buried

i've never really got along with my dad...he and i are so similar it sometimes sickens me.

crab, you're beautiful - continue to think positive and things will turn out for the best, even if they don't turn out how you expect.

that goes for everyone else, too -> i try my hardest to grip onto life as it passes and not think too much about what's coming or what's already passed. it's a hard thing to a manage but i think there's a lot of freedom there.

you remind me so much of one of my best friends. it's so wierd. he's also from your area, same age. and you look very similar. 'cept he's a virg. he woulda wrote something like that about his papa too.

Sometimes, it's hard to relate to you daddy .. and time slips by

The older I've become .. the clearer your messages ring in my ears

The pages of time cannot be turned back .. but, the heart still beats

I don't know why it's so hard to talk to you, daddy

All our plans and dreams either failed or faded away

Leaving so much still to say

I don't want to be sad anymore, daddy .. I love you !!!!!

ScorpioWreck .. ((hugs)) .. so long as the heart still beats, it's possible to find a way to sew back up whatever has been torn. However, you cannot go back in time to fix what happened .. you can only find a new way to bond, as the loving man you are today.

Maybe his eyes are clearer now, too .. and will hear your heart beat next to his. 🙂

yeah, my dad was a traveling musician for most of my childhood. we're pretty much dead to each other. when i was a kid he used to take me with him on the road to bars and city carnivals. i was thinking last night about this one time i was young and i wandered off from my mom at a carnival where my dad was playing, and everyone was in a panic so they sent an undercover clown cop to find me. when he finally did i was at the carousel, and he asked me what i was doing there, and i said "looking for my dad" because i associated the music at the carousel with him.

so this and good old king cobra got me all introspective and broody last night ;D

"clock hands can't play the
guitar as good as yours can"

That part didnt sink in until you said he was a musician. Musicians evoke certain respect from others because they can often be good at what we cant, or at least what we aspire to be.

I guess its no different than a father who can lead soldiers into battle, take a business to financial success, or stay married to our mothers for 6 decades....

At the very minimal, he gave you the gift of respecting him for what he does best, regardless of the fact that it wasnt being a perfect father. Personally, I believe musicians are extremely self-centered and egotistical. So that would be his flaw in my book. Perhaps yours too, Scorpwreck? Nevertheless, you still see his positive side, and for that reason alone, be grateful that you're not full of piss and vinegar towards him, like many others are.

crab, you always make me smiiiiiile ;D

and tollbooth, i really have no idea what you're talking about. while a lot of musicians are pretentious assholes, i know more than a handful who aren't. so for you to go one step further and assume that i'm a self-centered egotist because of an assumption that's not even correct in the first place is mildly ignorant of you.

i love this poem.

on a side note, if the part about you dialing his number is true, maybe it wasn't for no reason. eh?

""so for you to go one step further and assume that i'm a self-centered egotist because of an assumption that's not even correct in the first place is mildly ignorant of you.""

why do you tend to jump into the defensive stance? i didn't sense tollbooth was attacking you at all. in fact, he asked you a question, rather than conclude that you're an egotist.

Yea, emerald. I think so too. I could be wrong, but I just didn't gather that tb was implying anything about scorpwreck's character, but merely speculating.

nope, no criticism in my voice whatsoever. I still liked the poem and hope you decide to let him read it.