LostinPhilly
@LostinPhilly
12 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 129 · Topics: 11
Am I completely unreasonable or what?
At least it only took 2 dates and no unwanted mileage in the va jay jay to figure out his intentions.
Pisces men have charm. Its always up to you to believe in the dream or not.
Pisces men have charm. Its always up to you to believe in the dream or not.
Not unreasonable at all LostinPhilly. You totally dodged a bullet there, good for you. Keep going and don't look back because in all honesty, do you really want him now that You know what kind of Man he is?
They actually said you played yourself by placing expectations and still obsessing over this guy.
It's crystal clear he wasn't interested. Let it go.
The whole rainbow and connection and stuff..means jack shit if it's not backed up by actions. You wanted to believe in the fairy tale and he picked up on that and sold it to you.
Nothing wrong with being wrong once in a while Scorpio, the world will not end. And you did have some nice dates right? Take it for what it is.
It's crystal clear he wasn't interested. Let it go.
The whole rainbow and connection and stuff..means jack shit if it's not backed up by actions. You wanted to believe in the fairy tale and he picked up on that and sold it to you.
Nothing wrong with being wrong once in a while Scorpio, the world will not end. And you did have some nice dates right? Take it for what it is.
Fish pond didn't validate you so you want it from this board? Did they give you advice you didn't like?
Anyway, you lost me at "he made me believe..." because you're making it seem like you didn't actively participate in this situation, namely you wanted to believe whatever line he was feeding you or you wouldn't have been easily swayed given this:
Posted by LostinPhilly
I just don't get how you can treat someone this way (i.e: 1. Cancel on them repeatedly, ignore them for months 2. Come back with cheesy words, ignore them again when you don't get what you want). This is clearly playing someone.
So were the lines cheesy then, or after you "got played"?
Posted by LostinPhilly
I just don't get how you can treat someone this way (i.e: 1. Cancel on them repeatedly, ignore them for months 2. Come back with cheesy words, ignore them again when you don't get what you want). This is clearly playing someone.
click to expand
You treated yourself this way. Basically, a man cancels on you repeatedly, ignores you and you were more than willing to sign up for round two. Yet, he played you? Okay.
If you got dinner out of the deal without giving up the cooch and didn't waste months on this guy, you're a head of the game imo. I'm not sure what the problem is....
Oh, I know: http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/validation.asp
The idea of having the man accountable is a fair one Rabbit but at the end of the day, you owe it to yourself to be self-aware while engaging anyone else in this life..man or woman.
I see your point.
I see your point.
Yes but the trick word is "Relationship". It implies there's 2 people going somewhere in this..be it friendship, dating etc.
She was on her own, there was no..2 person team.
Absolutely I made the same mistakes and I will probably do it again because I react out of emotions a lot. Who knows? I hope not but I don't *know* for sure. But I still welcome brutal truth.
Your Libra Mercury is strong today 😛
She was on her own, there was no..2 person team.
Absolutely I made the same mistakes and I will probably do it again because I react out of emotions a lot. Who knows? I hope not but I don't *know* for sure. But I still welcome brutal truth.
Your Libra Mercury is strong today 😛
A person's presence in your immediate vicinity, no matter the interest, does not mean they are on the same wavelength as you are.
Rabbit is so cute when he goes on that Libra Mercury fluffy rainbowy path, just to get lost in a swamp and go "FUCK THIS SHIT. OK, THIS IS THE BRUTAL TRUTH:"
awwwww.
awwwww.
*sigh* I really should have had a cup of tea before posting that.
Had a bit more teeth than intended. Sorry LinP. The message behind the post still stands though.
Had a bit more teeth than intended. Sorry LinP. The message behind the post still stands though.
Posted by Rabbit
Move on to the next water sign with double standards 😛
LOL
Ain't that the truth. But we all have them, stop wanting to come on top about double standards, water creatures. Ugh, the EGO, ugh.
Posted by PhoenixRising
*sigh* I really should have had a cup of tea before posting that.
Had a bit more teeth than intended. Sorry LinP. The message behind the post still stands though.
I actually wanted to post..
"People should never post on the Scorpio Board in the early mornings. There's always a bark here and it's louder in the morning"
*makes mental note to post between 7 pm - 9 pm in the future. all the people are home from work, eating some good food and rubbing hand lotion on their stingers. you have better odds then*
Posted by LostinPhilly
I posted this thread in the Pisces section and those Pisceans told me my perception is screwed!
Hence, I'd like to know if you fellow Scorpios agree with them!
This Pisces made me believe in rainbows and butterflies because he knew I liked him. Turns out he only showed interest in me because he was in a dry spell and blatantly dissed me after I declined sex on our second date (he left right after I told him "no").
Mind you, on the first date, he was talking about wanting to settle down and have a girlfriend. He even said he believed in love for us yadi yada. He even said he had never clicked with anybody this way (we would easily spend 8 hours talking and all). Smooth talker.
We met last year but he kept cancelling on me and we stopped talking for a couple of months. Then he came back on V-Day 2014 with a heartfelt apology only to diss me two weeks later due to this sex situation.
I just don't get how you can treat someone this way (i.e: 1. Cancel on them repeatedly, ignore them for months 2. Come back with cheesy words, ignore them again when you don't get what you want). This is clearly playing someone.
Am I delusional for thinking he played me? Those Pisceans told me I'm wrong and he didn't play me O_o.
I just hear a Woman asking for validation on "if the guy was a player"... and the answer is Yes. This will help her learn the lesson that she needs to learn, and she will be better armed for the next player that comes along. At some point, if it continues, she will have to ask why she is attracting that type of man and will then be forced to look within if she truly wants the answer.
That is the way the process works...
That is the way the process works...
oops..hit post too soon
No, you are not delusional. You explained what took place on the first date. (which btw NOBODY can force you to think as you put it "This Pisces made me believe in rainbows and butterflies")..
So only blame him for a line of b.s., nothing more. On that first date he painted a picture, however on the 2nd date it should have been very clear to you the first date was b.s.
After you used the word "NO"..it should have ended there instead of dwelling on the "whys".
His behavior only happened repeatedly, for one simple reason. You allowed it, and taught him it was ok, by continuing to acknowledge him after the first time he blew you off...as in your words "repeatedly".
No, you are not delusional. You explained what took place on the first date. (which btw NOBODY can force you to think as you put it "This Pisces made me believe in rainbows and butterflies")..
So only blame him for a line of b.s., nothing more. On that first date he painted a picture, however on the 2nd date it should have been very clear to you the first date was b.s.
After you used the word "NO"..it should have ended there instead of dwelling on the "whys".
His behavior only happened repeatedly, for one simple reason. You allowed it, and taught him it was ok, by continuing to acknowledge him after the first time he blew you off...as in your words "repeatedly".
Posted by FixedWater
I just hear a Woman asking for validation on "if the guy was a player"... and the answer is Yes. This will help her learn the lesson that she needs to learn, and she will be better armed for the next player that comes along. At some point, if it continues, she will have to ask why she is attracting that type of man and will then be forced to look within if she truly wants the answer.
That is the way the process works...
+1 She confirmed that after the second date, but for some reason allowed him to repeatedly disrespect her..
I agree with you Lib...
She does need to ask herself why she accepted that behavior after she realized he was a player.
She does need to ask herself why she accepted that behavior after she realized he was a player.
That's the thing of it though... we get swept away sometimes, wanting to believe in that fairytale romance so much that when a Man talks to us in that "fairytale" way we buy into it, hook line and sinker. We want that so bad that when the first signs of behavior that is not indicative of our fantasy, come along, we let it wash. Some of us more times than others. It is not that the Guy himself is so great because we do not even know him yet. We may know some of his mask, but the true Human underneath the mask is still hidden in those first few dates, or months of dating. We aren't necessarily grieving that Man specifically but the pretty picture he painted. We just don't want to let that go....
After repeat cancellations, that should have been an insight into his character. And showing up on V-Day with apologies, I suppose he was feeling left out of the valentine's day holiday. Such a strange time to show back up.
So you gave him benefit of the doubt and agreed to see him, though he didn't deserve it. People do deserve a 2nd chance sometimes, but we should be guarded until they prove themselves opposite from what they have shown us in the past.
Keep in mind that no one can determine whether they want to settle down in a relationship with a specific person on the first date. You don't even know each other yet. Yeah, that was a line and it's your fault you fell for it. I'm just surprised you fell for it after his behavioral history, but that's something only you know (kinda reeks of desperation, though).
However, you were smart to say no on the 2nd date and ruled out a man who was only interested in sex. Good for you!!! Had you put out, he would have strung you along even further and for a longer period of time.
Write him off and move on. You can do so much better.
So you gave him benefit of the doubt and agreed to see him, though he didn't deserve it. People do deserve a 2nd chance sometimes, but we should be guarded until they prove themselves opposite from what they have shown us in the past.
Keep in mind that no one can determine whether they want to settle down in a relationship with a specific person on the first date. You don't even know each other yet. Yeah, that was a line and it's your fault you fell for it. I'm just surprised you fell for it after his behavioral history, but that's something only you know (kinda reeks of desperation, though).
However, you were smart to say no on the 2nd date and ruled out a man who was only interested in sex. Good for you!!! Had you put out, he would have strung you along even further and for a longer period of time.
Write him off and move on. You can do so much better.
Posted by FixedWater
I just hear a Woman asking for validation on "if the guy was a player"... and the answer is Yes. This will help her learn the lesson that she needs to learn, and she will be better armed for the next player that comes along. At some point, if it continues, she will have to ask why she is attracting that type of man and will then be forced to look within if she truly wants the answer.
That is the way the process works...
+1
Posted by LostinPhilly
I am so desperate to forget about this man, I don't know what to do at this point.
I met Mr Pisces a year ago on a dating website. We hit it off right away. Actually, I remember feeling a connection from before he and I started talking. He's the one who messaged me first. We talked non-stop for about a month. Then we met in real life. It was great. He asked me out on a date. He never followed through with it and cancelled on me 3 times. It fizzled out, we stopped talking.
Fast forward, he sent me a message on Valentine's Day to apologize and asked for a second shot. We started talking again and it felt as though no time had passed. I usually do hold grudges, but I didn't with him. We went on two dates which both lasted an entire day! The physical attraction was amazing, I had never experienced such intensity. We couldn't get enough of each other. Unfortunately, he had ulterior motives as I declined sex on date #2 and he pulled away afterwards. He ignored every single one of my texts (including the one meant to wish him a happy birthday).
About a month after our last date, I found out he had lost his job and moved back to the Canada. I know now it's over but it's been a year since I met him and I think of him as much as I did last year. Sure, he was a j*rk to me, but it seems I can't get over him. It's not that I can't get over his physical appearance or brains, there's just something I can't describe. It has nothing to do with his appearance or brains because I barely remember his face/conversations. It's more of an internal feeling that prevents me from letting go, rather than actual reasons.
I don't know what to do. I've been hooked on this man for the past year. It had never happened to me before. As a Gemini Mooner here, I usually move on pretty easily after a couple of weeks. However, I'm still stuck with the same feelings I had last year. It's driving me insane as I have no clue what to do. I've tried dating other guys and it didn't work because I'd come back home sad wishing he was the one I went out with. I feel so stupid and insane, it makes zero sense to me.
What's wrong with me?
This all happened a YEAR ago?
Speechless to why you're hanging on to that.
Posted by truecapPosted by LostinPhilly
I am so desperate to forget about this man, I don't know what to do at this point.
I met Mr Pisces a year ago on a dating website. We hit it off right away. Actually, I remember feeling a connection from before he and I started talking. He's the one who messaged me first. We talked non-stop for about a month. Then we met in real life. It was great. He asked me out on a date. He never followed through with it and cancelled on me 3 times. It fizzled out, we stopped talking.
Fast forward, he sent me a message on Valentine's Day to apologize and asked for a second shot. We started talking again and it felt as though no time had passed. I usually do hold grudges, but I didn't with him. We went on two dates which both lasted an entire day! The physical attraction was amazing, I had never experienced such intensity. We couldn't get enough of each other. Unfortunately, he had ulterior motives as I declined sex on date #2 and he pulled away afterwards. He ignored every single one of my texts (including the one meant to wish him a happy birthday).
About a month after our last date, I found out he had lost his job and moved back to the Canada. I know now it's over but it's been a year since I met him and I think of him as much as I did last year. Sure, he was a j*rk to me, but it seems I can't get over him. It's not that I can't get over his physical appearance or brains, there's just something I can't describe. It has nothing to do with his appearance or brains because I barely remember his face/conversations. It's more of an internal feeling that prevents me from letting go, rather than actual reasons.
I don't know what to do. I've been hooked on this man for the past year. It had never happened to me before. As a Gemini Mooner here, I usually move on pretty easily after a couple of weeks. However, I'm still stuck with the same feelings I had last year. It's driving me insane as I have no clue what to do. I've tried dating other guys and it didn't work because I'd come back home sad wishing he was the one I went out with. I feel so stupid and insane, it makes zero sense to me.
What's wrong with me?
This all happened a YEAR ago?
Speechless to why you're hanging on to that.click to expand
No. I said I MET him a year a
You didn't read the post properly!
I MET him a year ago. However, those dates we went on were in February/March 2014.
I just said I've been hooked on him for a year (i.e: Since the day I met him in April 2013).
I MET him a year ago. However, those dates we went on were in February/March 2014.
I just said I've been hooked on him for a year (i.e: Since the day I met him in April 2013).
Okay. Just checking. I had a different impression on the pisces board from some things you said. Glad we got that clarified. 🙂
But you really didn't date him a year ago. The impression I got was you had one meet up and then he cancelled every date yall had planned. Then he just disappeared.
I just don't understand how you can have all these feelings when you didn't spend any time together. Wondering if you just built up something in your mind that wasn't there. — Like maybe you are caught up in the fantasy of him instead of what the reality was. —
Just an outsider's impression based on what has been written.
I just don't understand how you can have all these feelings when you didn't spend any time together. Wondering if you just built up something in your mind that wasn't there. — Like maybe you are caught up in the fantasy of him instead of what the reality was. —
Just an outsider's impression based on what has been written.
Posted by Rabbit
All relationships (no matter how casual or new) still consist of two people...
Many users here simply love to stick it to other posters about being smarter or taking personal responsibility and so forth...
But fail to consider the fact they've likely been in the same position or have made the same mistakes. Not everyone will be in the same place in life and that needs to be factored in.
+1
One of the best answers I've read
You people are absolutely unbelievable. How dare you call someone you don't even know a nut job? How about acting like actual adults and avoid name calling people on a matter that does not even affect you in any way?! I get this is the Internet but name calling is unnecessary!
As far as I am concerned, the guy faked an early train right after I told him I was not ready for sex. I told him I wasn't ready yet and then he said "Well, I have to go I have an early train tomorrow".
It's got nothing to do with my behavior. Me asking questions on a board doesn't reflect my attitude during the dates. I don't understand how some adults can make random assumptions about someone based on a freaking POST I made to seek a better understanding of the situation in order to LEARN from my MISTAKE which was to give him a SECOND shot he DID NOT deserve. Yes people, I'm not an airhead, I gave him another shot so it's PARTLY my fault. Just because I didn't mention it, doesn't mean I'm oblivious to it.
Sure, I did ask a question to get a dual ASTROLOGICAL perspective on the matter. It's got nothing to do with being right or wrong. I'm not asking for people to take sides here. It's an astrological forum for heaven's sake. I didn't ask for your personal opinions. Now, I never said I was blameless. You guys keep feeding this post with assumptions and taking my words out of context when I haven't even said anything since I posted this thread. Feel free to debate on something I haven't even said because apparently you people know the ultimate truth and anyone who's seeking advice is a "nut job".
I just wanted to know how you as SCORPIOS or PISCES would react in such circumstances. If I wanted subjective opinions, I would have posted on a different board.
Jeez.
As far as I am concerned, the guy faked an early train right after I told him I was not ready for sex. I told him I wasn't ready yet and then he said "Well, I have to go I have an early train tomorrow".
It's got nothing to do with my behavior. Me asking questions on a board doesn't reflect my attitude during the dates. I don't understand how some adults can make random assumptions about someone based on a freaking POST I made to seek a better understanding of the situation in order to LEARN from my MISTAKE which was to give him a SECOND shot he DID NOT deserve. Yes people, I'm not an airhead, I gave him another shot so it's PARTLY my fault. Just because I didn't mention it, doesn't mean I'm oblivious to it.
Sure, I did ask a question to get a dual ASTROLOGICAL perspective on the matter. It's got nothing to do with being right or wrong. I'm not asking for people to take sides here. It's an astrological forum for heaven's sake. I didn't ask for your personal opinions. Now, I never said I was blameless. You guys keep feeding this post with assumptions and taking my words out of context when I haven't even said anything since I posted this thread. Feel free to debate on something I haven't even said because apparently you people know the ultimate truth and anyone who's seeking advice is a "nut job".
I just wanted to know how you as SCORPIOS or PISCES would react in such circumstances. If I wanted subjective opinions, I would have posted on a different board.
Jeez.
Posted by IrresistableScorp
This poster has been acting nutty about this guy in here for months. She never takes advice, is NEVER wrong, blames everyone else re never takes responsibility for her actions and basically comes across as a nut job.
I only mention this because this guy she's talking about may actually have come around again to see what's what, saw OP, remembered that she's a nut job and made his excuses.
You tell me why any man would say: oh I've got an early train just to get the eff out if there? Sure people lie but come in let's be realistic. This guy couldn't wait to get the hell out of dodge.
It's almost like he feared for his life or something.
Please. I posted 2 threads about this. It's hardly acting "nutty".
Your Scorpio Moon memory Nem 😛
Posted by IrresistableScorp
He saw you. Remembered the nuttiness and made his exit.
What on earth are you talking about?
You have zero idea what happened so please, spare yourself the pain and stop interpreting stories in light of your imagination. There's no nuttiness involved or anything of that sort.
Now, please, leave this thread alone because I don't want to argue with someone who can't tolerate other people's opinion. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black huh?
Posted by IrresistableScorp
And anger issues when validated??_
Posted by LostinPhilly
I don't see how. Yes, I found him boring but it's not incompatible with the fact that I STILL wanted to get to know him better.
Had I not mentioned how "boring" he was in the other thread, I'm sure you people would have said "He wasn't interested, that's why he cancelled many times and you should not seek his forgiveness". You can still see flaws in people without making a big deal out of those. I said he was boring in the other thread, but it's got nothing to do with this situation. Please, don't mix comments I made on a completely different thread which by the way was not mine!
You people are focusing on the wrong element which is not mentioned in this thread. I clearly mentioned how he cancelled and you people are taking some unrelated post out of context to use it as an argument against me. Stop taking things out of context and please stick to what is provided to you on this thread. What I said on someone else's thread is irrelevant.
Work on yourself and forget obsessing about "others."click to expand
Since you're SOOOOOO intuitive ... you would have gathered that this thread I posted was part of my "working on myself" process. I wanted to know what I could learn from this mistake I made. But obviously, you're a mind reader, you knew this already 😉
Posted by IrresistableScorp
I'll post in any thread I wan to??_thank you.
Like I said you are stubborn and project blame on others...
I am not projecting blame on anybody. You didn't read my previous post. I don't see how in any way shape or form I could be held 100% responsible for what happened. This makes zero sense.
Like I said, I made the MISTAKE of giving him a second shot and played along. I'm AWARE I'm not BLAMELESS here.
his:
Posted by LostinPhilly
I just wanted to know how you as SCORPIOS or PISCES would react in such circumstances.
Is not the same things as this:
Posted by LostinPhilly
I posted this thread in the Pisces section and those Pisceans told me my perception is screwed!
Hence, I'd like to know if you fellow Scorpios agree with them!
This Pisces made me believe in rainbows and butterflies because he knew I liked him. Turns out he only showed interest in me because he was in a dry spell and blatantly dissed me after I declined sex on our second date (he left right after I told him "no").
Mind you, on the first date, he was talking about wanting to settle down and have a girlfriend. He even said he believed in love for us yadi yada. He even said he had never clicked with anybody this way (we would easily spend 8 hours talking and all). Smooth talker.
We met last year but he kept cancelling on me and we stopped talking for a couple of months. Then he came back on V-Day 2014 with a heartfelt apology only to diss me two weeks later due to this sex situation.
I just don't get how you can treat someone this way (i.e: 1. Cancel on them repeatedly, ignore them for months 2. Come back with cheesy words, ignore them again when you don't get what you want). This is clearly playing someone.
Am I delusional for thinking he played me? Those Pisceans told me I'm wrong and he didn't play me O_o.click to expand
At all. So since the former was all you wanted to know. My answer as a Scorp, he wouldn't have received a second chance as a romantic interest. We would have simply been acquaintances maybe grow into friends--but I doubt it. Does that answer the OP about being played though?
Stop frontin'.
To learn from any "painful" situation is to understand why you made the decisions that you made. Tolerating less than you deserve, not listening to that voice that told you he was full of crap--you know the same voice that told you the excuse he made to leave was crap. Or you could ask us what we would do, if you are justified or not for feeling the way you did because that would be more helpful I suppose.
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This Pisces made me believe in rainbows and butterflies because he knew I liked him. Turns out he only showed interest in me because he was in a dry spell and blatantly dissed me after I declined sex on our second date (he left right after I told him "no").
Mind you, on the first date, he was talking about wanting to settle down and have a girlfriend. He even said he believed in love for us yadi yada. He even said he had never clicked with anybody this way (we would easily spend 8 hours talking and all). Smooth talker.
We met last year but he kept cancelling on me and we stopped talking for a couple of months. Then he came back on V-Day 2014 with a heartfelt apology only to diss me two weeks later due to this sex situation.
I just don't get how you can treat someone this way (i.e: 1. Cancel on them repeatedly, ignore them for months 2. Come back with cheesy words, ignore them again when you don't get what you want). This is clearly playing someone.
Am I delusional for thinking he played me? Those Pisceans told me I'm wrong and he didn't play me O_o.