He says he likes me but that I like him more

This is an update to my previous post.

He's been calling me often and we talk for an hour every time. I was sick and he was so kind to me, and also when my mum did something mean he told me I can lean on him and he is here for me.

He is still in his home country (where im planning on moving next year), and he said he is happy there and has a job interview and what do i think about that. We spoke it out a d were on the same page, that we like each other, and made plans to meet in a couple of weeks.

He called me last night, and first thing he said is that he likes me, wants to be with me, but he thinks I like him möre. He said it's because im flirty in our messages, calling him handsome etc and he doesn't give much back.

I said I do like him but it's very early days and I'd like to take it slow and get to know him, no need for serious conversations yet. He knows I want a family at some point and he said he does too but that it seems im a lot more invested. I said im more expressive and asked if he's having doubts about me and he said no. I said OK so it isn't a problem then, we like each other, it's just been a couple of months, let's see how it goes and glad that we can be so honest with each other.

I actually feel fine and positive that he likes me. But I'd like to know your thoughts on this. He is scorpio with lots of libra and im taurus with lots of cancer.

Thank you

I think i was yes, im cooling it down now 🙂. We have met in person yes! Lots of times but just the past month he's been home now.

Hi guys, I need some advice please.

So things were fine, we've been talking on the phone for one or two hours at a time, and he really cared about what I had to say. I was having an issue and he was helping me, and said he was driving but would answer as soon as he could by text as well. He said he hates living where we currently live, but that he can't wait to see me. Because of lockdown he is not where we live currently and no sign of coming back, possibly in October but who knows. We agreed that we can work wherever and so we could see each other though.

The past few days have been so different. he didn't answer me for like five days and he said he's disconnected. He got rejected from a job he wanted two weeks ago and has been distant since.

We spoke on Monday on the phone and I said I'd like to see him and he said yes me too let's make a plan, let's look at tickets and book something for October. He suggested two places we could go to and that we will keep in touch with details and logistics. After the call I texted him the next day with a ticket I found, and no answer. I texted him good night and nothing. I texted saying I feel very disconnected wth a sad face, but by accident I wrote 'connected' because I'm not fluent in that language. He wrote straight away asking if that was good or bad. I said I feel very distant from him, and that I hope he's well and look forward to seeing him. He has not answered. So I've basically acted like a psycho texting multiple times in a row with no answer. I have not gotten angry or anything, all sweet messages but this is not something I do.

I'm going to leave it now but I just am not sure if he needs space or if he's no longer interested in me.what do u think? Is there anything I can say,I hope he isn't angry at me or suffering because of the job.

I don't think you "acted like a psycho", but sometimes if one is "disconnected" due to other issues, the clinginess of the partner could push him away even more.

Take a break from contacting him now, and let him come to you. Put your faith into believing that if he is yours to have, he would man up and stop torturing you with his ghosting. If he is not...you dodged a bullet. Google the expression, if you don't know what it means...

Tbf, the fact that he told you that you like him more than he likes you, is a red flag. No two people like/love the same when in a relationship, but the fact he is pointing that to you --sadistically--might mean that he is on his way out, and no amount of clinginess on your part could change this.

Posted by Undine

I don't think you "acted like a psycho", but sometimes if one is "disconnected" due to other issues, the clinginess of the partner could push him away even more.

Take a break from contacting him now, and let him come to you. Put your faith into believing that if he is yours to have, he would man up and stop torturing you with his ghosting. If he is not...you dodged a bullet. Google the expression, if you don't know what it means...

Tbf, the fact that he told you that you like him more than he likes you, is a red flag. No two people like/love the same when in a relationship, but the fact he is pointing that to you --sadistically--might mean that he is on his way out, and no amount of clinginess on your part could change this.

Thank you! Do scorpios dislike clinginess? I'm not going to message again even though I'm tempted to call him. I just want to know hes ok :/

Posted by Mamita91

Posted by Undine

I don't think you "acted like a psycho", but sometimes if one is "disconnected" due to other issues, the clinginess of the partner could push him away even more.

Take a break from contacting him now, and let him come to you. Put your faith into believing that if he is yours to have, he would man up and stop torturing you with his ghosting. If he is not...you dodged a bullet. Google the expression, if you don't know what it means...

Tbf, the fact that he told you that you like him more than he likes you, is a red flag. No two people like/love the same when in a relationship, but the fact he is pointing that to you --sadistically--might mean that he is on his way out, and no amount of clinginess on your part could change this.

Thank you! Do scorpios dislike clinginess? I'm not going to message again even though I'm tempted to call him. I just want to know hes ok :/

click to expand

Everyone dislikes clinginess coming from someone they are not that interested in.

I your case...wait and see. There are two possibilities:

1) He is stressed about his job, needs "space". Unless you are a psychiatrist, able to read suicidal tendencies and DO something about that, assume that HE IS OK! In fact, I bet he is MORE OK than you are at this time (and yes, I have a medical degree...blame it on me if something happens).

2) He has lost interest. The job could be a pretext or a trigger. Other people provoke an argument or something. He needs time to think about dumping you. Been in this situation too. You will hear from him when he makes a decision. Or, he will ghost. I assume your lover is not a coward, though.

Another update:

We spoke on monday for over an hour and for the most part it was really nice. We then started talking about visiting each other and he said he likes me and wanted to see me but he doesn't know where he will be from one week to the next as hes living with his parents, doesn't know when his office will open and if he will need to come back to our city etc. So that we need to keep an eye out and cant plan far in advance. Hes feeling displaced and no roots anywhere due to pandemic.

He then said we don't talk much and it's mainly because of him, because hes living his life very present and doesn't think of me much. He said he likes me but maybe it's a sign that he doesn't like me as much as he should as he doesn't think of me. I'll admit that hurt to hear but I said it's true hes been disconnected but only for the past 2 weeks, and hes been disconnected from everyone. He agreed and said he just finds it strange, that he feels like he should call me more but hes just been focused on his life right now and is curious to why I'm not upset with him.

The conversation ended there because of wifi, and he texted asking what was the last thing I said. I said I didn't remember and he said that hes happy to go with the flow with me, that he likes me but wanted to be honest because I've always been honest with him which he likes, and he will be happy to see me either in our home town (where he is currently), or when he comes back to our city. To be honest after this call I'm feeling quite fine, just not expecting anything or even hoping to see him anymore.

My dad thinks hes playing me and isn't very kind to keep making plans and then canceling. I'm not sure... any insights?

Were you the one who made contact on Monday or did he contact you?

Posted by DonnaLibra

Were you the one who made contact on Monday or did he contact you?

He contacted me

Well he's still reaching out to you so that's a good thing. Just calm down and try to take it slower.

Hi everyone,

He has been a lot more communicative lately and looking up flight prices for me to visit him etc, sending me lots of voice notes as well about his day. He says he will come back next week to the city we live in, but may go back to his hometown afterwards, it's up in the air. He says he wants to see me, not sure why his main reason is for coming here if he cant even work in the office.

I would like advice though because in the back of my mind I keep thinking how he said to me a couple of weeks ago when he was disconnected that he doesn't think of me and that he likes me but I like him more. Should I be my normal loving self when I see him and act as if that was never said, or a bit more distant? I don't want to seem too easy after he said those things to me, thanks

Anyone? When I see him, should I act my normal warm self? He will want to have sex with me I'm sure and I want that as well but is it not too easy? Considering he has been so detached for the last few weeks until recently...

Listen to your father. Sometimes parents are very right.

I would start focusing on you for now and let him come to you and prove that you matter on his own.

I'm thinking of telling him that to me its starting from zero and so I'm not ready to sleep with him even though we have done in the past. Is this fair? I don't want to play games, just protect my emotions a bit.

Another update:

Saw him twice this week. The first time he was really affectionate with me, giving me hugs that would last ages and sweet kisses, he was a little closed though. We kept it light and I said I wanted to start over again.

Then we met up yesterday and he was closed again, I could tell something was on his mind. We had a good day, went to some exhibitions, and then at the end he said he likes me but doesn't want to hurt me and so we can't sleep together, he doesn't know what the future holds with where he will live etc, and it's preventing him from falling for me. I was crying and he was hugging me saying I'm such a good, strong and altruistic person. He said he wants to continue seeing me and for me to confide in him, but I need to move on with my life.

He texted today saying he wants to see me one last time before he goes back to his home country. I will keep it light and fun I think, although I feel I may end up crying cuz I know I will miss him when we say goodbye. I feel I will be able to move on afterwards and I've made peace with it.

I made a small painting for his birthday coming up, and created a card which I stuck the painting in. Should I give it to him?

Posted by Ixi

Posted by Mamita91

This is an update to my previous post.

He's been calling me often and we talk for an hour every time. I was sick and he was so kind to me, and also when my mum did something mean he told me I can lean on him and he is here for me.

He is still in his home country (where im planning on moving next year), and he said he is happy there and has a job interview and what do i think about that. We spoke it out a d were on the same page, that we like each other, and made plans to meet in a couple of weeks.

He called me last night, and first thing he said is that he likes me, wants to be with me, but he thinks I like him möre. He said it's because im flirty in our messages, calling him handsome etc and he doesn't give much back.

I said I do like him but it's very early days and I'd like to take it slow and get to know him, no need for serious conversations yet. He knows I want a family at some point and he said he does too but that it seems im a lot more invested. I said im more expressive and asked if he's having doubts about me and he said no. I said OK so it isn't a problem then, we like each other, it's just been a couple of months, let's see how it goes and glad that we can be so honest with each other.

I actually feel fine and positive that he likes me. But I'd like to know your thoughts on this. He is scorpio with lots of libra and im taurus with lots of cancer.

Thank you

Beware the folks that feel you like em more than they like you. Its not a healthy place to start anything from and more than likely will lead to a failed relationship with a lot of tears for the over-invested one.

Homie is honestly doing the right thing not allowing things to progress too far knowing he can't give something real a stable platform to grow.

click to expand

Thats true. He was very open and forward the first month, saying we will get married and he's falling for me. I think I fell for those words and then he pulled back when I started to reciprocate.

We spoke a biy yesterday where he asked if im angry at him, and i said im not that its not his fault, that I was upset how it turned out. I said that when I start to develop feelings, vulnerabilities arise out of nowhere such as fear and things I wasn't expecting, and this happened when he was leaving which is why we had that argument. He said he doesn't want me to stop talking and confiding in him, and that he's here for me when I need him, that he will always listen to me. I said that after that argument he had barriers and it wasn't the same and didn't want to even hug me anymore (so cringe I know :S), and he said that I just perceived it like that, but that he became closed because he didn't want to lead me on. He said its nothing to do with the argument, but that he has one foot in one country and the other in the other country, and his head is elsewhere. He said im so good and one of the strongest women he knows, and that I can call him whenever I need.

Guys I'm not sure what to do. Either I see him on Sunday as 'friends', which I could handle because I'm strong, or i tell him that I can't , he had his chance and blew it, he didn't feel I was worth it.

Don’t go, he has told you so many times that he’s not in it as much as you. He needs to make up his mind completely, none of this bs, I’m here for you, you can talk to me. He wants your total devotion but doesn’t want to commit anything but friendship to you. Does he get off in having someone pining for him?? Probably!

Protect you and if he wants you in his life, let him step up. His one foot in one country one foot in another is also what he is doing to you.

Thank you. I guess the reason id like to go is because last time I cried in his arms, and I dont want that to he the last time we see each other, as a weak sad person. I realise now he likes to punish me, I asked him to take it slow as we hadn't seen each other in so long, and he completely closed off and wouldn't even touch me to give me a hig, only if I hugged him would he become more affectionate.

Yes until February, he moved back to Sweden

This is a final update:

I ended up seeing him, I was in a good mood and felt strong enough.

We had food at a really nice restaurant, and I felt quite detached, very calm and happy and he couldn't stop looking at me. We talked and laughed tons just like how it was before he went away.

We went to a museum and I could feel he kept wanting to hug me but never did. He asked for his watch and I forgot it, and I said ill send it or throw it away as I'm not keeping it. So we walked back to mine which took an hour, and we were goofing around and also talking about his business plan.

At mine he was quite uncomfortable and kept his jacket on. He stayed for 30 min tops and never took his jacket off. I gave him his watch and said we won't see eachtoehr again and he said he wants to, that he wants to come back to see me later this month (later this day a strict lockdown was announced lol).

I said I can't see him as friends, at least not for now. Then I gave him his card ith the painting i made for him, and he just looked at it for about 10 min without saying anything, but just crying. He was crying for a full 5 minutes saying he was so touched and asked me why I gave it to him.

Anyway then he left, and we haven't spoken since but he's been looking at my pics. My dad says it's odd he cried, and that's not a normal friendly goodbye, and that I should block him as he will try to contact me again. If he messages me again that I should say I'm looking for a man and he's getting in the way.