TheMilkmaid
@TheMilkmaid
13 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 55 · Topics: 3


Posted by PVandJellehPosted by TheMilkmaid
Spot on again PV. It's been 3 years and I never thought he would leave me this way. But now I'm confused.
Ah hell, and we're 8 pages in now. -_-
I'm not sure if you should repost with the question phrased differently with an emphasis on scorpio perspective..or just leave it open and wait to see if any of the scorps jump in.click to expand
Posted by JynjaPosted by lisabethur8
men don't want these things in their head, imagining what you went through. it probably pisses him off. Stop re-living it with him, it's not helping him in the least, because he's not your therapist. Some men are not equipped for this stuff. Group therapy with other women will help you, and you can share experiences with them.
Wow.
It pisses him off? Isn't he her husband?
Wow. Please, no.
If there is any sign in the zodiac capable of dealing with such an issue comprehensively, it is Scorpio. Maybe your man doesn't want to talk to you yet because he doesn't yet know what he'll say.
With Scorpio men, you have to trust that the man you love is thinking about the best end for you. I think you could remind him that you know he wants what's best and when he's ready to talk, you'll be willing to do so as well.
In the meantime, I suggest you see a psychiatrist - not a therapist - for now. He will evaluate you and recommend you to a therapist and then the healing begins. The danger with support groups is that if you're not yet ready, some other people's stories could trigger a bad response.
Take care, and I hope you figure your family life out soon.
All the best.click to expand


Posted by lisabethur8
Group therapy with other women will help you, and you can share experiences with them.
Posted by confusedInsane
Lisa I agree however this issue actually goes hand in hand with all of them...a psychiatrist pretty much just prescribes medication if he feels you need it to deal with your emotions(ei.depression,ptsd) and directs you to a psycho therapist(he is the key) he is the one you have long conversations with that help you heal and put your emotions in order..in turn the psycho therapist connects you with those support groups and that is where you get the sense of that you are not alone, empowerment...is all a long process but worth it :-)click to expand

Posted by Jynja
If there is any sign in the zodiac capable of dealing with such an issue comprehensively, it is Scorpio.
Posted by PVandJelleh
Its usually not in their nature to just give up on a loved one.click to expand

Posted by MontgomeryPosted by lisabethur8
Group therapy with other women will help you, and you can share experiences with them.
+1
Posted by confusedInsane
Lisa I agree however this issue actually goes hand in hand with all of them...a psychiatrist pretty much just prescribes medication if he feels you need it to deal with your emotions(ei.depression,ptsd) and directs you to a psycho therapist(he is the key) he is the one you have long conversations with that help you heal and put your emotions in order..in turn the psycho therapist connects you with those support groups and that is where you get the sense of that you are not alone, empowerment...is all a long process but worth it :-)
You do not need a shrink to find a support group.
Call the local women's center; they WILL have the information, as well as other available tools and support for recovery.
click to expand

Posted by munchkin
Honestly, I would advise against sharing very personal things on this site. There are a lot of really nasty people who won't hesitate to kick people when they're down. And if you are still healing, that's the last thing you need.
Anyway, I would suggest speaking to a professional counselor about this. This is a very serious matter, and you deserve to heal. To do that, confide in people who know what they're doing, and will not judge you.
Sadly, ignorance is rife in the layman world.
Best wishes.

Posted by arietteheart2
Some of you are really disgusting. We tell and try to teach women how *not* to be raped but we don't tell young men to respect women and to NOT rape them.
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by Jynja
If there is any sign in the zodiac capable of dealing with such an issue comprehensively, it is Scorpio.
Posted by PVandJelleh
Its usually not in their nature to just give up on a loved one.
^^^Exactly. Scorps are far from perfect and a few of us may suck at communicating our feelings, but we don't give up on people we love. Especially when they have been hurt. Like I stated before, there are a few holes here to get an accurate picture. Starting from the OP and the way it was presented as though he just iced you out when you first disclosed what happen.
Please know, I am NOT saying this as an attack simply to state that what you are looking for in terms of feedback as to "why" this may have happened can not be offered when you reveal bits and pieces of how this disclosure was revealed and how you've interacted with him since that time.click to expand
Posted by TheMilkmaid
Perhaps you are wishing you had kept this to yourself so that your family and friends would not have to suffer the emotional anguish of what happened to you. That's understandable. Or maybe you are wishing you had just kept it to yourself, and blaming yourself for losing the Scorpio. But that in itself should concern you. If you have to hold everything in and not share what is bothering you for fear of losing the man you love... it's time to reevaluate some things. If I can't be honest with my partner for fear of losing him, then it does not bode well for our future.
All of this is true. I don't want them to suffer and yes I am scared of losing the Scorp. But there is no martyrdom. I'm scared of everything right now and I love my family and the scorp. Even if they all disappear. It won't change that
Posted by PVandJelleh
Okay I'm reworking everything you have posted in my head. So basically the point of your post was try to ascertain from the Scorpios on this board what kind of things may be going through his head as a scorpio. Or how they think scorpio men would most likely cope with a situation like this. So what you are looking for is a scorpio's perspective on his reaction, not advice concerning the heartache caused by his rejection. If so I can exit this thread now and let the Scorps have at it. Best wishes and I sincerely hope your Scorpio comes around. Its usually not in their nature to just give up on a loved one.click to expand
Posted by TheMilkmaid
The act was actually 18 months ago. And yes there was a previous further act. No the act is not important but the control it took away from me is.
Yes I am concerned about the Scorp man's emotions and psyche as I am the rest of my family. I am trying to deal with my issues and not hurt the people I love the most
Posted by LadyOfRebirthPosted by TheMilkmaid
I don't understand why people are upset that I want to understand how it is affecting others around me.
It's normal, you care about their well being. It's hard for some people to understand unless they go through it themselves. As a Pisces it's hard for you *not* to consider their well being in all of this, to the point you're less bothered about your own suffering.
He will get to terms with it, but he has to do that in his own. At this point I don't think there's much you can do except for being there for him.click to expand


Posted by TheMilkmaid
Whether right or wrong. Strudel obviously has his own issues and thoughts. At least he is being honest. I wish my Scorp was.
Yes it's true that men too do get raped. No matter who it happens to it isn't right.
Yes I have to deal with my own issues away from him. That is why I went for objective help.
No I didn't deserve this or ask for it.
Is speaking out about it brave? It scares me more than anything if I'm honest.
Do I need to deal with it? Yes (my counselor is rubbish though) and in truth this forum has helped me. And despite whether I agree with Strudel or not and his opinions. It has helped me

Posted by TheMilkmaid
The fact that I kept it from him for 18 months. Yes I think that part is true and does bother him.

Posted by IrresistableScorp
You went 18mos without talking to him and then you come here and insinuate he is a SCUMBAG for not talking to YOU. Just. Stop. Now.
This is honestly the very worst thread that has graced our board since I've been here.

y confused. It's been a long weekend, so perhaps it's poor reading comprehension on my part. But - what is you and the Scorp's relationship? Is the Scorp referenced in the OP and below:
Posted by TheMilkmaid
The incident I reported only happened 18 months ago. But there was another 10 years ago that I never reported. And yes it was before I knew him. I have heard from him today and he is with his 14 year old that he never sees. I talk to his son a lot because his and my son are friends. I've tried to encourage his son to see him. I feel it's right. His son does not know about the incidence (just in case you all ask). I now feel a bit more at peace knowing that no matter what happens with me and him he is finally spending time with his son for the first time in months
Posted by TheMilkmaid
@enfant. I have known him for 3 years and the most recent incident happened 18 months ago. Yes there also was a situation about 10 years ago before he even knew me.
Yes I feel like he believes he didn't protect me even though we are not together. He told me he loved me and that he feels like his wife was violated.
The same person as your boyfriend, mentioned here?:
Posted by TheMilkmaid
My boyfriend encouraged me to phone the police, which I did. He was there for me whilst waiting for the police but has since been dipping in and dipping out, whilst also telling me that he loves me.
As far as posting on here is concerned. I actually find it is helping me to come to terms with the truth by being open about itclick to expand
Or are you talking about two different people...?



Posted by Andalusia
Posted by TheMilkmaid
Yes I feel like he believes he didn't protect me even though we are not together
click to expand

Posted by LadyOfRebirth
Posted by enfant_terrible
I am not going to repeat myself just because you are too caught up in feminist slogans out of touch with the real world, to comprehend what I'm saying. Take off your politically correct glasses and read again-- do it right this time, without the cheese factor.
I have included a legitimate metaphor and specifically stated that no woman deserves or asks to be raped regardless of situation, just like no one deserves or asks to be mugged. However, terms such as "in a perfect world" come to mind here-- especially if you think you're above all of that in a matter of some sort of principle that just because you're a woman it means you SHOULDN'T get into trouble because you're not asking for it. See if the perpetrator cares!
In the meanwhile women in war zones and even women in burka are getting raped repeatedly.
I can see certain situations where wrong decisions can play a role in the circumstances, especially in the west, but surely most of the responsibility still lies with the rapist, no? Unlike animals men have a brain, so even *if* a girl would walk around in little clothing a man is capable of controlling himself..
but rapists consciously choose not to. That is what we should address really.click to expand


Posted by IrresistableScorp
You went 18mos without talking to him and then you come here and insinuate he is a SCUMBAG for not talking to YOU. Just. Stop. Now.
This is honestly the very worst thread that has graced our board since I've been here.

Posted by TheMilkmaid
The Scorp is the boyfriend. And no we are not married. And there is no husband. We have had an off relationship and he was the first person I told because I trust him.
He used the words that he felt like his wife was violated. They were his words

Posted by MontgomeryPosted by LadyOfRebirth
Posted by enfant_terrible
I am not going to repeat myself just because you are too caught up in feminist slogans out of touch with the real world, to comprehend what I'm saying. Take off your politically correct glasses and factor.
However, terms such as "in a perfect world" come to mind here-- especially if you think you're above all of that in a matter of some sort of principle that just because you're a woman it means you SHOULDN'T get into trouble because you're not asking for it. See if the perpetrator cares!
In the meanwhile women in war zones and even women in burka are getting raped repeatedly.
I can see certain situations where wrong decisions can play a role in the circumstances, especially in the west, but surely most of the responsibility still lies with the rapist, no? Unlike animals men have a brain, so even *if* a girl would walk around in little clothing a man is capable of controlling himself..
but rapists consciously choose not to. That is what we should address really.
On the contrary-- not being stupid GREATLY INCREASES your chances of staying alive.
Personal safety is of the utmost importance, and should never be left out of any discussion.
You can't rely on other people to keep you safe 100% of the time; to do so is irresponsible.
We are accountable for ourselves, and our own behavior, too.click to expand

Posted by TheMilkmaid
@munchkin I understand what you are saying and don't entirely disagree with you. I just honestly thought I was empowering myself by going abroad alone on a free holiday that my sister had given me. I never thought I would go abroad alone. I know of women that do and are fine. But yes as my brother says we are vulnerable. And I don't like to admit that

Posted by TheMilkmaid
I also think he thinks that I don't appreciate his support. None of that is the case though. I just wanted an objective opinion about certain things and now I think he thinks it's because I don't trust or respect him
Posted by TheMilkmaid
.... he was the first person I told because I trust him.
click to expand
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All of this is true. I don't want them to suffer and yes I am scared of losing the Scorp. But there is no martyrdom. I'm scared of everything right now and I love my family and the scorp. Even if they all disappear. It won't change that