Or how and why did they break up with you ?
How and Why did you Break up with your Exes ?
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
He was a heroine junkie and I've tried to save the man who I thought was drowning for 3 years. That relationship definitely took the living soul out of me...oh and money too.
I only have one significant ex. We're no longer together because we're no longer right for each other.
Ex Taurus husband. I filed for divorce and had him served at work so I wouldn't be on the compound when the shit hit the fan. He was controlling and verbally/emotionally abusive and it wasn't getting better but escalating.
Ex Capricorn - drank too much, gambled too much, and lied about all of it .... Too Much. He was my second husband and I was very well versed in Divorce proceedings including child custody and all the games men will try to play with a soon-to-be ex wife. He didn't stand a chance. ~Que evil laugh~
Posted by FixedWater
Ex Capricorn - drank too much, gambled too much, and lied about all of it .... Too Much. He was my second husband and I was very well versed in Divorce proceedings including child custody and all the games men will try to play with a soon-to-be ex wife. He didn't stand a chance. ~Que evil laugh~
I'm still hashing out the legal stuff. Got any advice?
Posted by MoonArtistPosted by FixedWater
Ex Capricorn - drank too much, gambled too much, and lied about all of it .... Too Much. He was my second husband and I was very well versed in Divorce proceedings including child custody and all the games men will try to play with a soon-to-be ex wife. He didn't stand a chance. ~Que evil laugh~
I'm still hashing out the legal stuff. Got any advice?click to expand
Hire a hitman. It's just cheaper and easier long term.
Posted by MoonArtistPosted by FixedWater
Ex Capricorn - drank too much, gambled too much, and lied about all of it .... Too Much. He was my second husband and I was very well versed in Divorce proceedings including child custody and all the games men will try to play with a soon-to-be ex wife. He didn't stand a chance. ~Que evil laugh~
I'm still hashing out the legal stuff. Got any advice?click to expand
Yes, stand you're ground and don't let that f__er intimidate you. That is their #1 game, to threaten and posture. Since we are talking about an abuser use your good instincts and keep yourself at a safe distance. I suggest arming yourself with as much knowledge on separation and divorce in your area as you can. This is key because even though you have a lawyer, when you start pulling out facts about where he will end up once you are done with him you will see a little tiny crack start in his confidence or posturing. It is quite fun I hate (loved it) to say. That knowledge and your confident attitude will take you a long way towards a successful divorce. I can't stand men who abuse ... Cowards. Don't give him any passes and don't feel bad for taking everything you deserve. In these parts it's 45-55% of his income and spousal support after 10 years of marriage goes on for a long time. He gambled our financial life away so I declared unequal division of property which I might add, my first lawyer didn't even suggest. I learned that one all through google after I fired her.
Lengthy, I know but hopefully it helps some. Be strong girl... I'm rooting for you. 🙂 🙂
Also (I'm sure your lawyer mentioned this to you but I'm going to say it anyway just in case) keep track of everything he says, or does to you. Write it all down or record it as its happening (which is even better) dig up everything and anything you can find on him. You, be a saint, because he will take even the most trivial detail and turn it six ways from sunday to make you look bad in the eyes of the law. He will make shit up.
Find your happy spot, you know the one where you'll feel good if you fight for and get that? That happy spot is where you want to pat yourself on the back, sign those papers, and put him outta your mind heart and soul.
Find your happy spot, you know the one where you'll feel good if you fight for and get that? That happy spot is where you want to pat yourself on the back, sign those papers, and put him outta your mind heart and soul.
Posted by FixedWater
Yes, stand you're ground and don't let that f__er intimidate you. That is their #1 game, to threaten and posture. Since we are talking about an abuser use your good instincts and keep yourself at a safe distance. I suggest arming yourself with as much knowledge on separation and divorce in your area as you can. This is key because even though you have a lawyer, when you start pulling out facts about where he will end up once you are done with him you will see a little tiny crack start in his confidence or posturing. It is quite fun I hate (loved it) to say. That knowledge and your confident attitude will take you a long way towards a successful divorce. I can't stand men who abuse ... Cowards. Don't give him any passes and don't feel bad for taking everything you deserve. In these parts it's 45-55% of his income and spousal support after 10 years of marriage goes on for a long time. He gambled our financial life away so I declared unequal division of property which I might add, my first lawyer didn't even suggest. I learned that one all through google after I fired her.
Lengthy, I know but hopefully it helps some. Be strong girl... I'm rooting for you. 🙂 🙂
I like you. 🙂
And you're right-- knowledge really is power, here.
You have to help yourself.
One of the smartest things I did was refuse to communicate with the ex (I don't have kids, though, so it was feasible) via phone or in person-- and he tried everything.
The one time we did was for my benefit-- I wanted the computer, so I had a witness and made him sign that he had received the $ $ as payment in full.
Didn't matter if it held water, or not-- he didn't know any better *grin*
He didn't know how to manipulate through the system, and he didn't have the patience for it.
I also found that people in power (gov't employees and even lawyers) will tell you "You can't do that.. the judge won't approve that"-- or like FW said, her lawyer didn't even tell her about all her options-- and it's bullshit.
Don't ever show your hand, either-- some folks can't resist telling the other party what they're 'going to do'-- don't.
There really is nothing new under the sun-- if you think your situation is unique, get online-- find stories, blogs, forums with other people who have had the same or similar situations, along with how they dealt with it.
@Montgomery, I like you too 🙂 You have good advice as well.
Refusing to communicate with them ensures you say nothing that they will use as ammo. If Moon has kids then Moon? Limit all conversation to details in regards to the kids. I am sure you know what I mean there.
Yes, document, document, document. I know, this is tedious but if you do go to court you will be very happy that you took the time to do this.
It is important to Bluff, but to not show you're true hand.
My first knew the drill well as he had been through Divorce already and that put me at a huge disadvantage. He had all the money, knowledge, and confidence.... but I still Won (with a Legal Aide Lawyer, no less) 😉
The second was an idiot and unfortunately I will have to deal with him for many years but he was a cakewalk.
I fired my first lawyer because my Instincts said she was Not Defending Me but rather her desire to have an easy and amicable settlement. Maybe it was because she saw no real money in my case, or maybe it was because she was an insecure woman trying to ... how to explain this? ... be popular and accepted within her mostly male law firm? Any which way, I got a bad feeling from her and fired her.
You know, I recall the deep seated FEAR I felt going through the first, and the second it was still there, just not as strong. Don't Give into this... it is a different kind of Fear than the one you feel when you're concerned about your safety. Facing the one will feed you and give you a great deal of strength! Facing the other could get you hurt. Let your instincts guide you, but do so with all the knowledge you can find.
Now kick some male abuser ass! Lmao!
Refusing to communicate with them ensures you say nothing that they will use as ammo. If Moon has kids then Moon? Limit all conversation to details in regards to the kids. I am sure you know what I mean there.
Yes, document, document, document. I know, this is tedious but if you do go to court you will be very happy that you took the time to do this.
It is important to Bluff, but to not show you're true hand.
My first knew the drill well as he had been through Divorce already and that put me at a huge disadvantage. He had all the money, knowledge, and confidence.... but I still Won (with a Legal Aide Lawyer, no less) 😉
The second was an idiot and unfortunately I will have to deal with him for many years but he was a cakewalk.
I fired my first lawyer because my Instincts said she was Not Defending Me but rather her desire to have an easy and amicable settlement. Maybe it was because she saw no real money in my case, or maybe it was because she was an insecure woman trying to ... how to explain this? ... be popular and accepted within her mostly male law firm? Any which way, I got a bad feeling from her and fired her.
You know, I recall the deep seated FEAR I felt going through the first, and the second it was still there, just not as strong. Don't Give into this... it is a different kind of Fear than the one you feel when you're concerned about your safety. Facing the one will feed you and give you a great deal of strength! Facing the other could get you hurt. Let your instincts guide you, but do so with all the knowledge you can find.
Now kick some male abuser ass! Lmao!
Posted by Scorp73Posted by MoonArtistPosted by FixedWater
Ex Capricorn - drank too much, gambled too much, and lied about all of it .... Too Much. He was my second husband and I was very well versed in Divorce proceedings including child custody and all the games men will try to play with a soon-to-be ex wife. He didn't stand a chance. ~Que evil laugh~
I'm still hashing out the legal stuff. Got any advice?
Hire a hitman. It's just cheaper and easier long term.click to expand
Unless he beat me to it. :p
Posted by FixedWaterPosted by MoonArtistPosted by FixedWater
Ex Capricorn - drank too much, gambled too much, and lied about all of it .... Too Much. He was my second husband and I was very well versed in Divorce proceedings including child custody and all the games men will try to play with a soon-to-be ex wife. He didn't stand a chance. ~Que evil laugh~
I'm still hashing out the legal stuff. Got any advice?
Yes, stand you're ground and don't let that f__er intimidate you. That is their #1 game, to threaten and posture. Since we are talking about an abuser use your good instincts and keep yourself at a safe distance. I suggest arming yourself with as much knowledge on separation and divorce in your area as you can. This is key because even though you have a lawyer, when you start pulling out facts about where he will end up once you are done with him you will see a little tiny crack start in his confidence or posturing. It is quite fun I hate (loved it) to say. That knowledge and your confident attitude will take you a long way towards a successful divorce. I can't stand men who abuse ... Cowards. Don't give him any passes and don't feel bad for taking everything you deserve. In these parts it's 45-55% of his income and spousal support after 10 years of marriage goes on for a long time. He gambled our financial life away so I declared unequal division of property which I might add, my first lawyer didn't even suggest. I learned that one all through google after I fired her.
Lengthy, I know but hopefully it helps some. Be strong girl... I'm rooting for you. 🙂 🙂click to expand
Thanks! Yes, he's shown many cracks. Hired PI's for 2-3 months and this spanned two states for the first month. The usual games he's always played, the Jekyll/Hyde behavior, still tries to be verbally abusive on/off (I love being able to hang up on him). It's eating him alive that he has no control over me. I rather enjoy twisting that knife now and then. What I hate is how him and his family very subtly manipulate the kids in how they think. THAT more than anything brings out the mama bear in me. I think it's beyond low and unforgivable to use your own kids or any kids like pawns. The plus is that after firing my incredibly inept lawyer I now
Posted by FixedWater
Also (I'm sure your lawyer mentioned this to you but I'm going to say it anyway just in case) keep track of everything he says, or does to you. Write it all down or record it as its happening (which is even better) dig up everything and anything you can find on him. You, be a saint, because he will take even the most trivial detail and turn it six ways from sunday to make you look bad in the eyes of the law. He will make shit up.
Find your happy spot, you know the one where you'll feel good if you fight for and get that? That happy spot is where you want to pat yourself on the back, sign those papers, and put him outta your mind heart and soul.
Yes, and that's the hardest, the keeping track because I really hate having to constantly detail his shit. And he definitely goes out of his way to twist and lie about everything under the sun. Its exhausting and infuriating. Pathetic, too.
Posted by MontgomeryPosted by FixedWater
Yes, stand you're ground and don't let that f__er intimidate you. That is their #1 game, to threaten and posture. Since we are talking about an abuser use your good instincts and keep yourself at a safe distance. I suggest arming yourself with as much knowledge on separation and divorce in your area as you can. This is key because even though you have a lawyer, when you start pulling out facts about where he will end up once you are done with him you will see a little tiny crack start in his confidence or posturing. It is quite fun I hate (loved it) to say. That knowledge and your confident attitude will take you a long way towards a successful divorce. I can't stand men who abuse ... Cowards. Don't give him any passes and don't feel bad for taking everything you deserve. In these parts it's 45-55% of his income and spousal support after 10 years of marriage goes on for a long time. He gambled our financial life away so I declared unequal division of property which I might add, my first lawyer didn't even suggest. I learned that one all through google after I fired her.
Lengthy, I know but hopefully it helps some. Be strong girl... I'm rooting for you. 🙂 🙂click to expand
I like you. 🙂
And you're right-- knowledge really is power, here.
You have to help yourself.
One of the smartest things I did was refuse to communicate with the ex (I don't have kids, though, so it was feasible) via phone or in person-- and he tried everything.
The one time we did was for my benefit-- I wanted the computer, so I had a witness and made him sign that he had received the $ $ as payment in full.
Didn't matter if it held water, or not-- he didn't know any better *grin*
He didn't know how to manipulate through the system, and he didn't have the patience for it.
I also found that people in power (gov't employees and even lawyers) will tell you "You can't do that.. the judge won't approve that"-- or like FW said, her lawyer didn't even tell her about all her options-- and it's bullshit.
Don't ever show your hand, either-- some folks can't resist telling the other party what they're 'going to do'-- don't.
There really is nothing new under the sun-- if you think your situation is unique, get online-- find stories, blogs, forums with other people who have had the s
Thanks! That's great advice and yes, I've already found plenty of the "you can't do that" stuff, including my original lawyer refusing to file a TRO. I've tried 4 times to file it myself. I'm at the point where it's too much bother. Let the sick bastard do something and then go to jail for it.
Posted by FixedWater
@Montgomery, I like you too 🙂 You have good advice as well.
Refusing to communicate with them ensures you say nothing that they will use as ammo. If Moon has kids then Moon? Limit all conversation to details in regards to the kids. I am sure you know what I mean there.
Yes, document, document, document. I know, this is tedious but if you do go to court you will be very happy that you took the time to do this.
It is important to Bluff, but to not show you're true hand.
My first knew the drill well as he had been through Divorce already and that put me at a huge disadvantage. He had all the money, knowledge, and confidence.... but I still Won (with a Legal Aide Lawyer, no less) 😉
The second was an idiot and unfortunately I will have to deal with him for many years but he was a cakewalk.
I fired my first lawyer because my Instincts said she was Not Defending Me but rather her desire to have an easy and amicable settlement. Maybe it was because she saw no real money in my case, or maybe it was because she was an insecure woman trying to ... how to explain this? ... be popular and accepted within her mostly male law firm? Any which way, I got a bad feeling from her and fired her.
You know, I recall the deep seated FEAR I felt going through the first, and the second it was still there, just not as strong. Don't Give into this... it is a different kind of Fear than the one you feel when you're concerned about your safety. Facing the one will feed you and give you a great deal of strength! Facing the other could get you hurt. Let your instincts guide you, but do so with all the knowledge you can find.
Now kick some male abuser ass! Lmao!
This is so reassuring to know I'm not the only one facing this mess. Technically I "know" that it happens routinely, but having lived for years under his dictatorship leaves some skewed thoughts and feelings even after you get out. It's like feeling like a rabbit with the hawk circling overhead, sometimes. It's like feeling an invisible collar and leash being yanked. I've worked hard and am continuing to work on controlling that and crushing it. Yes, there's some PTSD going on and I've got a great support system and professional help. Every time I have a mini panic attack or meltdown connected to him I get furious about it. I hate having any reaction to him. Still working on purging him out of
...out of my system.
Posted by MoonArtist
Thanks! That's great advice and yes, I've already found plenty of the "you can't do that" stuff, including my original lawyer refusing to file a TRO. I've tried 4 times to file it myself. I'm at the point where it's too much bother. Let the sick bastard do something and then go to jail for it.
You could always just arm yourself and not worry about his sick bastardy. Just sayin'.
I'm in CA. The state pretty much hates guns and has made it next to impossible to get a conceal to carry.
Posted by MoonArtist
I'm in CA. The state pretty much hates guns and has made it next to impossible to get a conceal to carry.
Move to OK or TX or LA. You'll be fine.
Seriously, a mean ex-spouse or soon-to-be-ex-spouse can be a misery if you allow it. I feel pretty lucky. My ex mainly stuck to hate emails and it didn't last too long.
Taurus - I broke up with him because he woke up way too late. He kept playing me for a year and when he finally came to his senses, I shot him down. Three months later, he got engaged to some girl he met at a bar and moved across the world to be with her.
I've been single ever since. I tried to make it work with him and he refused to make a single effort because he didn't want to have a long distance relationship for a year (I was just moving cities). Then he met that girl and had a long distance relationship with her for a year (UK-Argentina), and moved to be with her.
All the sacrifices he refused to make for me, he made for some random girl he met on vacation after we agreed it was over. He was already screwing with her behind my back before our break up.
He's happy, meanwhile I'm single, with no friends, jobless and miserable. Great. To say I was the one who had everything going on ... now he does and well, I'm empty. Anyway.
I've been single ever since. I tried to make it work with him and he refused to make a single effort because he didn't want to have a long distance relationship for a year (I was just moving cities). Then he met that girl and had a long distance relationship with her for a year (UK-Argentina), and moved to be with her.
All the sacrifices he refused to make for me, he made for some random girl he met on vacation after we agreed it was over. He was already screwing with her behind my back before our break up.
He's happy, meanwhile I'm single, with no friends, jobless and miserable. Great. To say I was the one who had everything going on ... now he does and well, I'm empty. Anyway.
Posted by LostinPhilly
Taurus - I broke up with him because he woke up way too late. He kept playing me for a year and when he finally came to his senses, I shot him down. Three months later, he got engaged to some girl he met at a bar and moved across the world to be with her.
I've been single ever since. I tried to make it work with him and he refused to make a single effort because he didn't want to have a long distance relationship for a year (I was just moving cities). Then he met that girl and had a long distance relationship with her for a year (UK-Argentina), and moved to be with her.
All the sacrifices he refused to make for me, he made for some random girl he met on vacation after we agreed it was over. He was already screwing with her behind my back before our break up.
He's happy, meanwhile I'm single, with no friends, jobless and miserable. Great. To say I was the one who had everything going on ... now he does and well, I'm empty. Anyway.
You never know where you'll both be in 10 years 🙂 I have a feeling you will be at a much better place in the long run. Moving to another country so soon after meeting someone may not be as exciting as it sounds!
Yeah, maybe. I no longer have any feelings for him, but I just feel as though his life got so much better right after we parted ways. It's like me leaving his life was a blessing. He went to grad school, met a girl, found a job, moved away. I was supposed to be the one doing these things, he was the one who had no clue what he wanted to do with his life!
I broke up with him because I wanted to focus on college to get into grad school and his lack of efforts triggered the breakup. Now, I failed my senior year, declined grad school acceptance.
It's not the best feeling when you always get rejected by men all the time, even the obese postman (yeah, because I'm so desperate) while you ex is having the time of his life with a girl who is much better looking than I am, and probably better than me.
10 years seems like a long time especially when you're 24 and you have absolutely nothing going on. I even had to move back to my parents' house as I have no direction whatsoever. Good times.
I broke up with him because I wanted to focus on college to get into grad school and his lack of efforts triggered the breakup. Now, I failed my senior year, declined grad school acceptance.
It's not the best feeling when you always get rejected by men all the time, even the obese postman (yeah, because I'm so desperate) while you ex is having the time of his life with a girl who is much better looking than I am, and probably better than me.
10 years seems like a long time especially when you're 24 and you have absolutely nothing going on. I even had to move back to my parents' house as I have no direction whatsoever. Good times.
Posted by CreoleGeishaPosted by MoonArtist
I'm in CA. The state pretty much hates guns and has made it next to impossible to get a conceal to carry.
Move to OK or TX or LA. You'll be fine.
Seriously, a mean ex-spouse or soon-to-be-ex-spouse can be a misery if you allow it. I feel pretty lucky. My ex mainly stuck to hate emails and it didn't last too long.click to expand
Can't. We have kids together and if either of us moves to another state the other parents pretty much gets the kids.
Posted by LostinPhilly
Yeah, maybe. I no longer have any feelings for him, but I just feel as though his life got so much better right after we parted ways. It's like me leaving his life was a blessing. He went to grad school, met a girl, found a job, moved away. I was supposed to be the one doing these things, he was the one who had no clue what he wanted to do with his life!
I broke up with him because I wanted to focus on college to get into grad school and his lack of efforts triggered the breakup. Now, I failed my senior year, declined grad school acceptance.
It's not the best feeling when you always get rejected by men all the time, even the obese postman (yeah, because I'm so desperate) while you ex is having the time of his life with a girl who is much better looking than I am, and probably better than me.
10 years seems like a long time especially when you're 24 and you have absolutely nothing going on. I even had to move back to my parents' house as I have no direction whatsoever. Good times.
If you keep cock blocking yourself like that then it's a self fulling prophecy. Don't get stay depressed. Redo your last year or find something you enjoy better! Meet people and make friends!
Cancer men....horrible tempers, stubborn about the simplest things, crybaby, hypocritical......break up via phone "u get my time when you deserve it....A+ game or dont bother"
Posted by LostinPhilly
Yeah, maybe. I no longer have any feelings for him, but I just feel as though his life got so much better right after we parted ways. It's like me leaving his life was a blessing. He went to grad school, met a girl, found a job, moved away. I was supposed to be the one doing these things, he was the one who had no clue what he wanted to do with his life!
I broke up with him because I wanted to focus on college to get into grad school and his lack of efforts triggered the breakup. Now, I failed my senior year, declined grad school acceptance.
It's not the best feeling when you always get rejected by men all the time, even the obese postman (yeah, because I'm so desperate) while you ex is having the time of his life with a girl who is much better looking than I am, and probably better than me.
10 years seems like a long time especially when you're 24 and you have absolutely nothing going on. I even had to move back to my parents' house as I have no direction whatsoever. Good times.
You have got to be kidding me. You're only 24 ! Finish school, change your looks if you want, and make plans for when you will start earning money. You will feel so confident and find more fun and love than he has 🙂
Have a little patience.
Posted by LostinPhilly
Yeah, maybe. I no longer have any feelings for him, but I just feel as though his life got so much better right after we parted ways. It's like me leaving his life was a blessing. He went to grad school, met a girl, found a job, moved away. I was supposed to be the one doing these things, he was the one who had no clue what he wanted to do with his life!
I broke up with him because I wanted to focus on college to get into grad school and his lack of efforts triggered the breakup. Now, I failed my senior year, declined grad school acceptance.
It's not the best feeling when you always get rejected by men all the time, even the obese postman (yeah, because I'm so desperate) while you ex is having the time of his life with a girl who is much better looking than I am, and probably better than me.
10 years seems like a long time especially when you're 24 and you have absolutely nothing going on. I even had to move back to my parents' house as I have no direction whatsoever. Good times.
Hi. I don't know how "open" you are to hearing me right now, but here goes.
I strongly believe great hardships and extreme changes like this happen for a reason. You can't see right now -- you're not really looking -- but I'm confident if you carefully examine all the facts in these recent setbacks, you'll recognize mixed blessings and silver linings in the clouds.
You don't have to be 24 with absolutely nothing going on. Go ahead and get something going on. Doesn't matter what is it so long as it benefits you and brings you joy. If you can't restructure your circumstances, try restructuring your thinking/perception about your circumstances.
I missed on my first choice for grad school, too...and I'm DELIGHTED because now I get that the major I worked for would NEVER have fulfilled me in a long-term career. After that disappointment, I moved on to something I absolutely love and am very good at doing. These days, that small failure feels more like a reprieve from making a terrible mistake.
These setbacks DO NOT diminish your value as a human being or invalidate what you HAVE achieved in life and WILL achieve later in life.
Give yourself five minutes to be annoyed with your ex boyfriend. Then SIGH WITH RELIEF since he's happy elsewhere because he's OBVIOUSLY not right for/with you. Be grateful you're not stuck with him.
Posted by MoonArtistPosted by FixedWater
@Montgomery, I like you too 🙂 You have good advice as well.
Refusing to communicate with them ensures you say nothing that they will use as ammo. If Moon has kids then Moon? Limit all conversation to details in regards to the kids. I am sure you know what I mean there.
Yes, document, document, document. I know, this is tedious but if you do go to court you will be very happy that you took the time to do this.
It is important to Bluff, but to not show you're true hand.
My first knew the drill well as he had been through Divorce already and that put me at a huge disadvantage. He had all the money, knowledge, and confidence.... but I still Won (with a Legal Aide Lawyer, no less) 😉
The second was an idiot and unfortunately I will have to deal with him for many years but he was a cakewalk.
I fired my first lawyer because my Instincts said she was Not Defending Me but rather her desire to have an easy and amicable settlement. Maybe it was because she saw no real money in my case, or maybe it was because she was an insecure woman trying to ... how to explain this? ... be popular and accepted within her mostly male law firm? Any which way, I got a bad feeling from her and fired her.
You know, I recall the deep seated FEAR I felt going through the first, and the second it was still there, just not as strong. Don't Give into this... it is a different kind of Fear than the one you feel when you're concerned about your safety. Facing the one will feed you and give you a great deal of strength! Facing the other could get you hurt. Let your instincts guide you, but do so with all the knowledge you can find.
Now kick some male abuser ass! Lmao!
click to expand
This is so reassuring to know I'm not the only one facing this mess. Technically I "know" that it happens routinely, but having lived for years under his dictatorship leaves some skewed thoughts and feelings even after you get out. It's like feeling like a rabbit with the hawk circling overhead, sometimes. It's like feeling an invisible collar and leash being yanked. I've worked hard and am continuing to work on controlling that and crushing it. Yes, there's some PTSD going on and I've got a great support system and professional help. Every time I have a mini panic attack or meltdown connected to him I get
My comments don't seem to want to post today...
@MoonArtist, I know exactly how you're feeling and you sure aren't alone. You mentioned you have a great support system and are getting some guidance through the psychologist. That is a step I never took till just a few weeks ago, as a matter of fact. I wish I had done so sooner as it may have helped shorten my road to recovery. I am a really Loving, Kind-hearted, Generous, Strong Woman... (but do you see how I just described myself, that I DiD describe myself?) I am still recovering and even though I know all these things about me, my spirit seems to forget occasionally and needs a little kick start. That was the hardest part of my recovery, and I am still having my 'off days' so don't feel bad about those. They definitely pass...
On the legal end of things you seem to be doing exactly what you should be doing. You are gaining knowledge and doing all of the tedious butter to help yourself. Those flippin lawyers hey?!!!
So, be strong for yourself, and for all those that have to fight this battle that come behind you.
Hugs
M
@MoonArtist, I know exactly how you're feeling and you sure aren't alone. You mentioned you have a great support system and are getting some guidance through the psychologist. That is a step I never took till just a few weeks ago, as a matter of fact. I wish I had done so sooner as it may have helped shorten my road to recovery. I am a really Loving, Kind-hearted, Generous, Strong Woman... (but do you see how I just described myself, that I DiD describe myself?) I am still recovering and even though I know all these things about me, my spirit seems to forget occasionally and needs a little kick start. That was the hardest part of my recovery, and I am still having my 'off days' so don't feel bad about those. They definitely pass...
On the legal end of things you seem to be doing exactly what you should be doing. You are gaining knowledge and doing all of the tedious butter to help yourself. Those flippin lawyers hey?!!!
So, be strong for yourself, and for all those that have to fight this battle that come behind you.
Hugs
M
Oh and may I suggest a little fire...
A little purging fire...
In the middle of the night under a full moon...
A few glasses of wine in you're belly...
Some really good music playing...
A big heap of crap that's reminding you...
One by One into the fire...
I did not know a Tim Horton's coffee maker would indeed burn, it was enlightening, and uplifting! OK, maybe the fire was a little bigger that 'little'. Lmao
A little purging fire...
In the middle of the night under a full moon...
A few glasses of wine in you're belly...
Some really good music playing...
A big heap of crap that's reminding you...
One by One into the fire...
I did not know a Tim Horton's coffee maker would indeed burn, it was enlightening, and uplifting! OK, maybe the fire was a little bigger that 'little'. Lmao
Posted by MoonArtistPosted by CreoleGeishaPosted by MoonArtist
I'm in CA. The state pretty much hates guns and has made it next to impossible to get a conceal to carry.
Move to OK or TX or LA. You'll be fine.
Seriously, a mean ex-spouse or soon-to-be-ex-spouse can be a misery if you allow it. I feel pretty lucky. My ex mainly stuck to hate emails and it didn't last too long.
Can't. We have kids together and if either of us moves to another state the other parents pretty much gets the kids.click to expand
*sighs* I'm sorry, and I do understand. One of my brothers went through the same idiocy when he and his wife of 18 years dissolved their marriage.
I'm hesitant to respond since I have no real life wisdom in a sitch like yours. I wish you the best and I know you're way stronger and much bigger than the challenges offered by your former spouse. Don't take one more millimeter of crappola from him. Even if you feel you have to "for the children's sake." It benefits neither you nor your children. *hugs*
Posted by FixedWater
My comments don't seem to want to post today...
@MoonArtist, I know exactly how you're feeling and you sure aren't alone. You mentioned you have a great support system and are getting some guidance through the psychologist. That is a step I never took till just a few weeks ago, as a matter of fact. I wish I had done so sooner as it may have helped shorten my road to recovery. I am a really Loving, Kind-hearted, Generous, Strong Woman... (but do you see how I just described myself, that I DiD describe myself?) I am still recovering and even though I know all these things about me, my spirit seems to forget occasionally and needs a little kick start. That was the hardest part of my recovery, and I am still having my 'off days' so don't feel bad about those. They definitely pass...
On the legal end of things you seem to be doing exactly what you should be doing. You are gaining knowledge and doing all of the tedious butter to help yourself. Those flippin lawyers hey?!!!
So, be strong for yourself, and for all those that have to fight this battle that come behind you.
Hugs
M
I'm glad I'm getting professional help in untangling the knots. You're right, it's not easy, but boy am I learning some things about myself! It's been good for personal growing. Hell yes you're a strong, generous and loving woman! I'm sure there's a bunch you didn't add to the list. I've learned that I'm even stronger than I thought.
Posted by FixedWater
Oh and may I suggest a little fire...
A little purging fire...
In the middle of the night under a full moon...
A few glasses of wine in you're belly...
Some really good music playing...
A big heap of crap that's reminding you...
One by One into the fire...
I did not know a Tim Horton's coffee maker would indeed burn, it was enlightening, and uplifting! OK, maybe the fire was a little bigger that 'little'. Lmaoclick to expand
I really like this idea! I'm going to do it. I don't have anything of his that are huge reminders but I'm sure I can round up photos to burn. He has the house full of furniture, etc. I literally fled with only the most important things I didn't want him destroying or refusing to give back. My plan, though, is when the divorce is finalized I'm going to have a huge party. His face on novelty toilet paper, picture b
Posted by CreoleGeishaPosted by MoonArtistPosted by CreoleGeishaPosted by MoonArtist
I'm in CA. The state pretty much hates guns and has made it next to impossible to get a conceal to carry.
Move to OK or TX or LA. You'll be fine.
Seriously, a mean ex-spouse or soon-to-be-ex-spouse can be a misery if you allow it. I feel pretty lucky. My ex mainly stuck to hate emails and it didn't last too long.
Can't. We have kids together and if either of us moves to another state the other parents pretty much gets the kids.
*sighs* I'm sorry, and I do understand. One of my brothers went through the same idiocy when he and his wife of 18 years dissolved their marriage.
I'm hesitant to respond since I have no real life wisdom in a sitch like yours. I wish you the best and I know you're way stronger and much bigger than the challenges offered by your former spouse. Don't take one more millimeter of crappola from him. Even if you feel you have to "for the children's sake." It benefits neither you nor your children. *hugs*click to expand
Thanks! I know I'll be fine. I guess it's all just growing pains and his way of dragging it all out since he has no control and is doing everything he can think of to keep control. Sad, pathetic loser boy.
"So I found someone else"
"When do you plan on moving out?"
"Tomorrow"
"Ok"
"When do you plan on moving out?"
"Tomorrow"
"Ok"
Virgo - Cap
He came clean about the cheating a week after it began. If it kept up for longer I don't know how I would've reacted.
Business comes first.
He came clean about the cheating a week after it began. If it kept up for longer I don't know how I would've reacted.
Business comes first.
Something just isn't working today making me have to type and re-type and re-type .... groan
@MoonArtist... thankyou for your kind words and that strength is power, and powerful.
The purging Fire is a blast and you will really enjoy it. I also played the songs that related to the relationship that I loved but was having a hard time listening to. This way, it gave them a new memory too. Worked like a charm... 🙂 Oh and I also had a left over sweatshirt that I ran over with my quad a few dozen times. Haha
@MoonArtist... thankyou for your kind words and that strength is power, and powerful.
The purging Fire is a blast and you will really enjoy it. I also played the songs that related to the relationship that I loved but was having a hard time listening to. This way, it gave them a new memory too. Worked like a charm... 🙂 Oh and I also had a left over sweatshirt that I ran over with my quad a few dozen times. Haha
Posted by MidniteStar
I don't know...he just left one day without saying goodbye. Months later when I was finally able to confront him he said he had found someone new. So I guess that was why. He fell in love with someone else.
I hate stories like this. 😢
I hope you don't blame yourself-- in my opinion, you dodged a bullet.
Because who does that??
(I know, lots of people-- but not good people)
No one has ever left me or broke off with me.
It was I who broke off with them...
It was extremely hard 2 do so and sad because they were good woman.
It's like I'm cursed 2 hv woman whom loves me wholeheartedly and as much as I try I just don't know how.
In the end I left because I felt guilty.
It was I who broke off with them...
It was extremely hard 2 do so and sad because they were good woman.
It's like I'm cursed 2 hv woman whom loves me wholeheartedly and as much as I try I just don't know how.
In the end I left because I felt guilty.
Posted by MidniteStar
I don't know...he just left one day without saying goodbye. Months later when I was finally able to confront him he said he had found someone new. So I guess that was why. He fell in love with someone else.
That's messed up. But out of curiosity, what's his sign?
Posted by MontgomeryPosted by MidniteStar
I don't know...he just left one day without saying goodbye. Months later when I was finally able to confront him he said he had found someone new. So I guess that was why. He fell in love with someone else.
I hate stories like this. 😢
I hope you don't blame yourself-- in my opinion, you dodged a bullet.
Because who does that??
(I know, lots of people-- but not good people)click to expand
I've NEVER heard of anyone doing that kind of thing until i came to dxp. It seems like a common occurance. At least say goodbye instead of running and being a coward. sure it hurts but tell them what's up so they aren't left waiting and waiting wondering and wondering. I hate cowards that don't tell them straight up they dont want to be with you anymore. It's painful but the truth is better than running.
well, now that i 2nd think about it, my Cancer bff did tell me about this guy she knew once. Who "played" multiple women and they didn't know at all. One even drove 2 hours everyday to see him. that's how good he was. She's not into astrology but she always felt that he would never be the type to get "serious" with. I'm aware, this is GOSSIP. however, it's just to show that for example, there are people out there that will play 5-10 women at a time. You got to "trust your instincts".
IM Not your boyfrienddddd >😢
the judge broke us up.
Leo sun vs Sag Sun
Leo sun vs Sag Sun
Posted by IrresistableScorp
If you're ever wondering why a romance with Scorpio isn't going smoothly, it's because Scorpio has picked up that you can't be a good match for them, nor them for you.They picked that up on the first date; Scorpios have perfectly clear sight when it comes to love. They know right away if your relationship won't last, even if they continue to see you.
I wouldn't say this is exclusive to Scorpios. I believe my marriage failed because my groom wasn't right for me. And I knew it. Knew when we were friends and when we dated. I truly am guilty of marrying a very nice boy because he loved me and really wanted me to do it. We were happy for a time, but when things soured, he ALWAYS reproached me for "not loving him enough." There was nothing I could say because it was true.
Posted by CreoleGeisha
...We're no longer together because we're no longer right for each other.
That's exactly how I feel when I'm about to break up with someone.
Posted by FixedWater
Something just isn't working today making me have to type and re-type and re-type .... groan
@MoonArtist... thankyou for your kind words and that strength is power, and powerful.
The purging Fire is a blast and you will really enjoy it. I also played the songs that related to the relationship that I loved but was having a hard time listening to. This way, it gave them a new memory too. Worked like a charm... 🙂 Oh and I also had a left over sweatshirt that I ran over with my quad a few dozen times. Haha
Funny enough we never had a song or songs that were special to us as a couple. I didn't take any of his clothes, etc. so I really have nothing of his to destroy. But damn I bet that felt good running over his sweatshirt! 😄
Posted by CreoleGeishaPosted by IrresistableScorp
If you're ever wondering why a romance with Scorpio isn't going smoothly, it's because Scorpio has picked up that you can't be a good match for them, nor them for you.They picked that up on the first date; Scorpios have perfectly clear sight when it comes to love. They know right away if your relationship won't last, even if they continue to see you.
I wouldn't say this is exclusive to Scorpios. I believe my marriage failed because my groom wasn't right for me. And I knew it. Knew when we were friends and when we dated. I truly am guilty of marrying a very nice boy because he loved me and really wanted me to do it. We were happy for a time, but when things soured, he ALWAYS reproached me for "not loving him enough." There was nothing I could say because it was true.click to expand
Oddly like my ex and I, only he's the one who didn't really love me.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Scorpio males are wonderful! Unfortunately, almost every Scorpio female I've ever met has lied about me...and I'm talki
Was invited to come over by one of your own on the Cancer board. Brought a box of chocolates. Now where are all thos
I can lick my elbow.
You Scorpio ladies are amazing genuine people.. Maybe I just know how to rub you the right way.. nonetheless, I see yo
The one I know is. Besides that it's deep emotional connection that I feel adds on for it. I'd like to think sometime. W
With a venus in Sag. I want her but I don't know how to go about it. I got her number and we are supposed to kick it
hes very typical scorpio, very quiet, dark and mysterious. he looks lonely and misunderstood.. i think scorpio do get
If you HAD to pick one to date, which air sign would you pick and why? Or, if you've dated one, what has been your ex
Hello, I've long been reading threads on scorpio men and have tried to apply some of the advice to my own situation but
Scorp Appreciation Thread Scorp Unappreciation Thread I Love You Scorps Thread I Hate You Scorps Thread I Love M
what do you guys think about : a Libra man and a Scorpio woman together ? yes , no ? this can work ? I have read bad t
How do I act around him? What behaviors should I show? I just want it to be subtle and don't want to go overboard and te
You guys get a lot of hate on this board so I thought I'd send some love your way. Yes, I admit I'm a bit of a Scorpio g
I;m going round in circles in my head at the moment as to what to do. I have known this Leo female since I was around
Which movie(s) makes you tear up just a little bit*. Please post your favourite clip/scene if you can and tell us why yo
In romantic relationships that is. Curious about mirroring scorpio. It is mentioned on this forum frequently. W
When u hear the word Scorpio, what's the first thing u think, no biting of the tongue ;)
Please feel free to specify on this thread how Scorpio/s annoyed you. How a Scorpio Male can annoy a Libra Female:
or just surrounded by Assholes? I read this sometime back a few years ago when I was in my quote reading phase. I pa
Who would win and why if both were going after 1 promotion?