Is there ANY chance with this guy?

Hello all, nice to meet you, just having some trouble because I've fallen in love and I think it's too late!
About 4 years ago I was in a very intense relationship with a married man. (I know, big silly thing to do and wrong as well). Anyway, I met a guy who seemed all at once to really fancy me. He came round, called me, we went out on trips (both bikers) and had a great time. He tried to kiss me and I tried to explain that though I liked him a lot, I loved this other man (I did, totally) and wanted to keep it platonic.
He was obviously fed up about this, but was always kind and sweet. I got pregnant by the married one (oops) and even then, the scorpio guy said he wished it was his and still kept calling etc. I felt awkward and guilty but I did like him as a mate & was always clear.
We lost touch a bit, but every time I'd see him in the street, he'd stop, look me over, say I looked good or whatever, and generally ask questions seeming to be flirting, or sussing me out. I always enjoyed seeing him around.
Anyway...last year, (married guy went from our lives when my son was 1 - he's now nearly 4) I began seeing another man, not married, whom I had met through the scorpio guy. (This one is a leo.) I was with him about 8 mths, the scorpio guy wasn't really that close to him, they just worked at the same place. The leo guy apologised to the scorpio guy, who responded, 'you're a very lucky boy'...this is despite scorpio guy having a long-distance girlfriend by now.
I saw scorpio guy around a couple of times and he always asked if leo was treating me well, said I looked good, did he take me out enough, buy me presents etc. (leo guy actually didn't do any of this and turned out to be an utter swine).
The last time I saw scorpio guy was just before I left Mr. leo. I went to see him hoping that I could suss out if he was interested in me, because I'd started to fall in love with him, he just seemed to be after all, exactly who I was looking for.
He seemed a bit annoyed that I'd called him recently, and got his girlfriend on the phone (whom I had no idea was staying there, and I'd called about some stuff he had asked me to sell for him on ebay - innocent phone call). Apparently she had freaked out. He seemed to enjoy telling me this, and seemed to want to make me feel bad. I did. It was in Nov. and I then found I was preg. by leo. I left leo, am single now, in love but rang scorpio and no answer to message. I feel I missed my chance. Should I try harder?

Just to add that I realise I may be being selfish, maybe he is really into this long distance thing, or is he just trying to get me to beg? I guess I just want to know whether he might still want to be with me after all this time - despite me having two kids (one imminent) neither of which is his - I so, so wish that it was his child. I would love to have a child with him - in fact before I knew I was pg. I wanted that.
Sorry if i do sound totally self centred but I honestly just adore this guy and I know I've probably missed the chance, and I cannot blame him one little bit if he thinks I'm an idiot.
Thanks for any responses, I genuinely want insight and will leave him alone if you all think it's best. The message I left wasn't any more than friendly BTW, I didn't confess my love or anything...but maybe I should have!—

I see you are trying to have babies from different zodiac signs.LOL.
Seriously i can`t help you a lot about it,but it seems familiar to me.Obviously he loved so much and IMO he still loves you.
I think you should tell him that you are interseted in him and that you love him..this is the best thing to do,he is waiting for this moment so give it to him and see what happens.

Thanks, gosh I never expected anyone to say that - it's what I'm hoping for sure. I guess looking at it like that, I could end up looking stupid but in the end he still has the choice, and I won't hurt him by being honest - just my own pride! Which being a virgo isn't a huge problem ; ) Ok now to try and get hold of the guy!

The abies thing - both fathers are leos, weird or what! Yes, I'd rather have had one leo and one scorpio's baby! LOL

Yes,balancing is good 😉

Didn't you think to use contraception—
Most Scorpio guys I know won't take on anyone else's child...So not sure how this would pan out.

And you say he has a girlfriend already?

Hmm yes, it wasn't totally straightforward but I ran out of space so had to edit great chunks of the post. We originally split up over having differences over children - leo has two older kids, and didn't want more, but I couldn't rule out ever having another. Then he decided he COULD countenance it, but didn't want to lose me, so he came back. And that was when I got Pg. And I was holding onto the hope that he might actually be a nice guy at this stage, but soon realised after I got Pg that he really wasn't - sulky, moody, controlling, nasty and critical were what he became. He demanded I have an abortion, which I couldn't.
I know I have made some daft mistakes, I fully admit that. I wish I could go back and be sensible. And yes, as far as I know, Mr. Scorpio does still probably have a girlfriend - though she lives halfway across the country. I know very little about that.
And before you say any more, yes, I am ashamed and embarrassed and feel terrible about what has happened!!! I hope that is understood!

Hmmm, I guess you need to just give it time..If you are single now and the scorpio is aware of this then I am sure if he wants you..he'll come and get you or make it known somehow..I am sure of it..If he doesn't give any signs etc then I would suggest you leave him along to get on with his girlfriend..distance or no distance thats his issue and hardly seems fair to break them up if that is what you intend to do..

Good luck

Thanks - no, that's why I came here to ask, as I really don't want to jump in and cause any sort of trouble for them. I just couldn't figure out why he has still flirted with me, even while he's been with her - and now seems to ignore me. Like you say, I guess it's his business. But I guess if he did want me now he would have rang me back the other day.
At the moment I have little to offer and am going to be flat out with two children, on my own, so it does feel I'd be asking a great deal for any guy to be around at this point (except the father - whom I really don't want around!)
So, one of you says tell him, the other says don't - I'm back to square one! But thanks all the same, for taking the time to read all this...: )

HE is a Scorpio guy..so I don't know, maybe he can tell you from the male perspective...but its not a case of just telling him, there are others to think about here..Why not just concentrate on your children for the time being and if something happens then great..Seriously if Scorpio liked you, I am sure he would tell you..I don't think the men have hang ups in this department..but its just an awful lot for any guy to take on..If I was a single Scorpio guy, I wouldn't (sorry)..Speaking as a single Scorpio woman, I wouldn't date a guy who had children..Sounds awful I know but I just can't. Scorpios can also be outrageously flirtatious..take it with a pinch of salt..

I can understand Scorpio may not be approaching because well you were with 2 other guys before him..so he's probably thinking you might have another one lined up..who knows..I am speculating..

Fair enough...I see what you mean, of course. Maybe he just likes to flirt. But when I was Pg the first time, it didn't seem to put him off, he was really keen. He is the only one on my 'list', at present - but sadly I really just think I missed my chance and he is either trying to punish me for yes, dating two other blokes before I realised I wanted him, or simply not interested at all any more.
Maybe one of these days I'll bump into him again by chance, and be better able to gauge his feelings based on that. I hope so. I just wish I knew one way or the other - but that's not his fault.
Thanks again..

Aww...I am sure you'll bump into him again..and maybe he will confess to his undying love for you....you just never know..Sooo many twists and turns when one is emotionally entangled with a Scorpion..

All the best..
XXX

See,scorpio men are better than Leos..you heard that Kris?

"Are you able to explain why you didn't like him before and why you do now?"

These things can`t be explained..
Attraction isn`t a choice.

She can`t rest now,she has to continue her quest of having 12 babies.

Neh,she wants 12 babies from different signs not 12 different fathers.

So Archer what happened between you and your boyfriend lately?

I was just making sure if you have one.

"and yu HE... other than pluto, who shares you—"

Nobody,i am free as an Eagle..no strings attached.

And i broke up with Pluto long time ago,she insisted on continuing her job as stripper,which i am totally against.

"mummmmmmmmmmmmmm,,, hope the answer waz wht you desired—?"

Ms Archer,are you hinting for something.?

"not me dear, my venus in aqua... primitive insticts.."

Aha,understood..i see you are firing your arrows to my heart darling.You have to know,it`s very hard to hit it.

To answer a question a few pages back...why I didn't want him back then, and do now...
Well, I've questioned my hormones / desperation levels (having run out of blokes 😉 and find them intact. I know that way back then, I was seriously, hopelessly obsessed and extremely attached to the first father - married leo - and nobody else even got near my heart. I did muck a few guys around in a minor way then, while seeing him - but soon learned that wasn't on and didn't enjoy hurting people. (The married one was my first actual lover, at the age of 27...!!!! So it kicked off a learning curve!) Plus, I never mucked this scorpio around as he somehow seemed far too good to muck around. I wanted to keep his respect, and show him mine. Also I suspect it was something to do with him being so very keen. That always tends to put me off a bit, as I am afraid of commitment to a degree, and someone who is pretty insistent that I should go out with them (even tho I've made it clear I'm in love with someone else) makes me wonder why they need me so much.
After dating the second father for a few months I began to see that what I wanted was not someone aloof and 'sexy' in their strong silentness, but someone who actually engaged with me and talked to me like a human, wanted to give me their time and love, not control me...and I started to crave seeing this guy who really seemed to like me for who I was.
Also I had an old photo of him and one day just looking at it, I felt a chill, just something clicked and he was suddenly 'the one' - and I could clearly picture him being a wonderful dad. (This was before I got Pg.)
I don't know why it took me so long. It kinda crept up on me through learning experiences and maybe a little growing up.

Oh cripes. So I really did blow it. Poor guy, everyone kept saying how much he liked me at the time, I just wasn't available then. And now I have all these children! Aarrgghhh!!! And I don't think I can really do much about that short of abandoning them in a shopping centre...Oh to turn back time.

Thankyou - you're right. Whenever I've worried about 'making' things happen, it always ends up being wrong...so I guess I need to elarn to let go and let things be as they will be.: )

Thanks everyone : )

LOL @ salmon pink...oh dear..its becoming quite the trend..

Went to the pub on Friday and got talking to this dude who just happened to be sitting on our table..he had a really cool watch so I had to comment..he bought me a drink too!...woohoo..LOL..anyways..He had a pink shirt on..as did most of his colleagues..

I quite like men in pink shirts..looks sexy

It was no match blingy..but it was big fat cherry coloured leather straps!...It rocked man!..

And yes I guess I do like to dominate/control..

emeraldgem - didn't you read my post properly? I called him because I had recently seen him and HE had asked ME for MY number, so that he could get in touch regarding some items HE had wanted ME to sell for him on ebay!!! As i said, innocent phone call!
If you mean my most recent call, that is the first one since November and I have no actual idea if he has a girlfriend or not - but I did want to find out, so left a FRIENDLY message on his answering machine, no more, no less, and didn't hear back - and then decided to come on here and ask what to do next. If anything.
How is that immoral——? If he's happy for her, then great, but I don't know if he is or not, I'm confused ny his flirting, and do not want to do the wrong thing - I've done enough things wrong in my life already.
As for the wedding ring, I did say that I realised that was foolish and wrong. I have grown up a little since then and please remember that if the person wearing the ring discounts its meaning totally, it isn't really for anyone else to hold it up as a deterrent to having a relationship - just IMHO. But even so, yes it was wrong.
I hope that helps.

What do you mean? That if a married man approaches you for a relationship, and you are both fully aware he is married, but he seems to accord that fact no meaning - you should say, 'oh but you're married so I can't'?
Maybe that's true, I don't know. But what I meant was that it takes two - and whether he 'belonged' to someone else was surely for him to decide?
I look back and I think yes, it was wrong - of me - whatever he wanted. But at the time it was very hard to fight the emotions when the person who was supposed to be married, wasn't fighting them...we were together for four years. Not to say this makes it better, but it wasn't just a little fling for the hell of it, iyswim. And I did fight it, actually, quite a lot.

I wasn't going to go chasing him if he had said he didn't want anything to do with me...it was more like him doing the chasing.
though I'm sure that doesn't make it seem any more acceptable in your eyes. I'm sorry if I have offended you.

The past is past. What I see is that even though you "knew it was wrong" you continued in it. There is a third party to be considered called "his wife". I think leaving her out of the equation is a great injustice. You know, sorry, but honey many men lie to a piece they want, to get what they want. The wifey probably didn't have a clue he was dipping in someone elses pool. The key is to find someone who is SINGLE dear. Don't go messing up some other relationship so you can persue your own interest. Even if a man tells you his ring doesn't matter, you need to respect the union and walk away -IMHO! I see you are sorry now for the past, and maybe regret the kids...too late, too bad. Be the best mother you can be, and for God's sake teach them MORALS!

Who's playing? I agree with EMGEM, we need to put it on the line. Oops?? We are talking about the creation of life here. Not like in cavemen times. Contraception has been around for a REALLY long time. OOPS— That's not how I want to be thought of by my parent! What's done is done, and there are no innocents here on this planet so I'm using my words as advice, not condemnation. Now that you have two children to think about, it is the welfare, love, and direction they need that should take precidence. Not whether or not a scorp with a long distance g/f is still interested in you when you now have two kids! Make the kids the priority. Quit messing with someone elses stuff, and screw your head on straight. Use contraceptives. Use your HEAD!

"The libra guys seem better with the girls..."

The truth behind Kris's eternal, unreasonable hatred for Libra males is finally revealed. I figured as much.

From all this I am guessing that I came across as extremely flippant about the whole thing, that isn't the case. I too feel sorry for my children (what's wrong with saying 'imminent'? I don't understand what I said wrong there, the child is imminent, why does that make my wondering about having a new partner worse? Or indeed its having a potential father figure who sticks around? Shouldn't I want either of those things - for myself, or for the baby? You seem to contradict that later?)
Yes, dysfunctional would be a good word. I admit that but I am trying my best and when I hooked up with my second child's father, I thought he was genuine and would indeed stick around - see my other thread on the leos board,it explains more about that. He turned out not to be and here I am in a stupid situation all over again. I believe my judgment was at fault but I didn't deserve to be treated that way by leo#2.
Whae I wrote 'Oops' I was trying to scoot over that section of our lives because I didn't feel it was too relevant to the actual question I was asking. It still isn't. Of course it wasn't like that, it was the most awful period of my whole life and every single day I feel terrible about what I did...sometimes I manage not to let it dominate my thoughts and just try and look forwards and do my best for the child who was born out of that dire relationship, and no longer sees his father at all - not, I'd hasten to add, my decision. more to follow>>>

That 'oops' child is now my brilliant three yr old son, whom I love and care for and am glad that I had - for my own sake, although I still wonder how he will cope with his awful beginning when he is old enough to be aware of it. He has an extended family who also adore and care for him, and other male role models, no, it's not the same as having a father. I am fully aware of and regret that fact immensely.
Please don't dismiss me as someone whose use of the word 'oops' means she doesn't love her child or care about her mistakes. It isn't true.
If you read the 'leo' thread, you might see why the second father is not someone I am particularly keen to have in either child's life - not as a live-in fixture anyway.
I won't go into that here.
Yes I feel bad about the wife. Yes, yes, yes, and more yes. IT WAS WRONG, how mant times do I need to say that? The reason I did not stop it was (despite feeling awful about it) I loved the married man, and every time we broke up, it felt as if I had cut off my arm or something - please believe that I tried over and over but found the pain so huge that I felt unable to stay away when he came back to me.
This was obviously due to some weakness in me, not excuasing it but trying to explain it. At the time, I honestly could not make the break. Yes, I failed, I was a pathetic human being. I HOPE I am better now, after all that's why I came and asked my original question, to AVOID hurting anyone else IRL.
Have neither of you ever done anything you knew was wrong, and now regret? Does it mean I should kill myself for the sake of the planet? (sometimes I've wondered this) or never have feelings for anyone again? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

Contraception is a good point. For my first child, it would have been a good idea to use some, and I didn't - neither did his father. Yes, it was foolish in the extreme, and my fault. (I'm not totally stupid, not always anyway, but do have moments of utter insanity).
Second time, there seemed no need as we had discussed children and only once I was pregnant did the man turn into an abusive control freak. (as far as I knew then, anyway). I don't think that can be blamed on me.
I personally cannot forgive myself for any part of those four years of the affair, so I don't ask or expect you lot to. I'm not sure how to get that across, even if it isn't why I came on this board...you are welcome to judge me, you're right about most of it. I hope that tearing me to bits is making you feel better.
I will now depart from this thread as I think I'm causing a lot of hassle.
Once more I apologise and thanks to everyone who tried hard to answer the original question - even if I don't deserve to show my face in public because of a major mistake I once made.
Goodbye all.

BTW reading my last posts, I'm sure that however bad I felt it was much worse for the wife. No need to remind me of that. and will probably be far worse for my children. I'm not saying I suffered the most here.
Ok I'm actually going now.
Bye.

If you happen to come back and read this, I have to repeat that you are not being condemned here. Everyone here has their fair share of mistakes. Perhaps from the wording of your original post we got a different impression. No you cannot beat yourself up and no the planet won't be better off without you. (Believe me if everyone deserving did that, the population would be nill). You have learned from mistakes and you also have two beautiful babies which I'm sure God intended to be here. Your present day and your future are what matters now, and I NEVER "feel better" beating anyone up. I prefer the opposite. So you messed up. It won't be the last time. My one point was that if the Scorpio you are interested in has a girl, whether long distance ot not, IMO, I don't think you should persue that even if he acts like he has feelings for you. Simply let him persue you, and maybe when/if he does he will have properly seperated from the other one. You don't need to be in the center of another drama. I would say, there are probably some aspects of his current relationship that you don't know anything about. Save yourself from unpleasant suprises and more heartache. At any rate I am glad you love your children, and I think if you give it time, the right man will be there for all of you. God Bless!

Jwalker, I did stop by - and thankyou for being so kind. I was mainly talking to Emeraldgem, I think you were being much more fair and reasonable, so felt bad that I'd perhaps implied I was upset by what you said as much as their comments. I have a feeling some people just like to rip people to shreds, I don't think you are one of them - and I'm sorry if I made you feel bad about it. I understand what you were trying to say. I can only think that perhaps Emeraldgem either enjoys attacking others, or genuinely found my attitude to be abhorrent - who can say. But I sincerely hope I don't come across that way. I didn't intend to but hope now that I've been a bit clearer.
I probab;y shan't stop by again nonetheless, it's affected me really badly today and I can't really take any more of the nasty stuff! But no hard feelings toward you and thankyou for explaining : )

I'm sure too that EMGEM didn't intend on "ripping you to shreds". What came across initially was what we all responded too. All said, it was blunt from the heart. Anyway, we're glad you visited, and we welcome you.

would you like a toffee —





😛😛

Well you must know how *well* us virgos can take criticism!!! ; ) Over it now. I feel better for reading the last page. True it's best to be blunt, I guess I'd just been feeling bad about it all since it happened, been through it so, so many times, and always the same conclusion - that I was wrong, and hurt people, badly - and being helpless to do anything now to try to repair the damage...there's no way I can turn back the clock and make it right, for anyone involved. That's awful and I deserve to feel that way. But I think I was upset to have it all dragged up again out of a post about something pretty much separate. I can see why it was picked up on because it was probably assumed I'd no qualms about doing the same thing, all over again! Which isn't really the case - everyone was scarred, everyone is paying for those four years. I wish it hadn't happened. And the baby born of that liaison - though what I felt at the time was something overwhelming that I've never felt before or since, can't forget, and perhaps will never feel again (although I hope I shall, with someone available next time) and the child was wanted (by me) and loved as I loved his father (I hope this isn't making anyone cringe too much, yes it was illicit but the love was certainly there) I agree completely that it was a ridiculous thing to allow to happen. Totally ridiculous, and totally unfair to the poor child.
That's why I tried the second time to make sure I was with someone who was up for being committed - sadly it wasn't to be.
I really have given up hope with Mr Scorpio now, just a lovely fantasy for me, but one hell of a lot to ask of him.
Thanks for asking me to come back, you're a nice lot! Olive branch? (without prejudice of course..Egem points taken : ) Humbly yours, S.