my Scorpio friend is crazy, how do I handle this..

I have a Scorpio friend who I have known for a while, and I had planned to visit him and his family in January. He has a girlfriend, and this was fine with me because I have no romantic interest in him at all. We manage to get along just fine.
We had talked two days before, and everything was fine until....
I get an email the next day saying (I am paraphrasing) "I know this is sudden, but I am getting married. I cannot talk to you anymore. I know this is sad. I hope for your success in life."
um...what?

I was always a great advocate of him getting married or at least working on his relationship because he has been on the fence with this girl for a while. He was always wishy-washy about it and her. But...why, huh, what the heck?!

It's super wonderful that he has decided to married (although I don't think it will last), but why has he decided to ditch me?? He knew about my plans to go there, and I had already bought a plane ticket. So, why is he now suddenly not wanting to speak to me anymore?

Do you think this is for real or just a spoke in his hormones? I am just ignoring him, do you think this is the best advice to do, or should I confront him?

"his wife to be sounds like a Cancer,to be honest......"

Um, wrong. She is a Taurus. She acts like one very much so, and a boring one. Also, as a Cancer myself, I would never act like this. If I was remotely jealous of any female friend my boyfriend had, I would just meet her when we were all out together. I could gauge from his reaction whether there are feelings involved ('cause I'm Cancer, ergo psychic 😛 )

"maybe she won't allow any 'outside influence' from here on in........."

I think you guys are right. She seems jealous, but for no reason. There is no way I would date him.

"maybe he was hoping for some sort of emotional response in reply (time to cut the crap,all under scorpio like to test/ about to get a reaction,don't lie)"

I don't understand what you are saying.

I basically don't want to speak to him after that. I would rather ignore him than give him the satisfaction of reacting.

How can you say that I don't like "this chick"? You are making a lot of assumptions today!

The only negative reaction that I have given was that she was boring. But, this is only based on what I know of her from him. Actually, I have never met the woman before in my life. So, all my opinions are really based on what he tells me. But, I listen to him change his mind about her time and time again. I get kind of sick about it and tell him that he should make a decision, one way or another (but it would usually be best if he does not break up with her). I have been her advocate on many occasions because he would always ask why she was acting certain ways or say that he was mad at her for some reason or another. Then, I would explain her side of things, and he would calm down.
She seems jealous, but it is directed to all of his female friends, not just me.
I understand that people go through this when they are in a relationship with someone that isn't "the one". But, I think marriage would be good for him, as long as he could think logically about it...not make the decision after one day?!
However, the predicament is that he did a 180 on marriage, her, and on me for some reason. I don't get his actions one bit. Especially his decision with me.
If he is trying to get a rise out of me, I don't want to do it (even though I really do want to yell at him for being so weird).

So cancer the two of you have only been platonic friends, only?

Your a Cancer and she's a Taurus you should watchout. Backoff for a while.

I'd still go, but not see him. Take a little special vacation for yourself.

platonic friends on my side. I am not interested in him, especially since he has a girlfriend. I speak to him maybe once or twice a week. I have visited his family twice; I love them, they are really nice.
(plus, I kind of have a go-nowhere crush on another guy...I need to get over that)

I must be a magnet for jerks. How did I get to be this way? :/

cookiemonster... like having wonked-up eyes? I want to know more about this power of which you speak.

I know it IS too weird. Like why do *I* have anything to do with him getting married?! Weird weird bipolar man.

I want to have cookiemonster power. I don't know how to channel it though.

lol, remove your filter and the word cookiemonster will be replaced with B!tch.

HAHAHAHAHA omg, I never knew this. I was wondering why everyone was using the word "butter" for everything! 😛

I still want cookiemonster power~~

I don't find it weird at all. Quite simply either his girlfriend doesn't want him to have close female friends OR he doesn't want any temptation around (maybe if the opportunity arose he'd want to bed you). Some people believe that men and women can't be platonic friends because either the man or woman is attracted to the other. Taurus are possessive. So if his fiancee is jealous and thinks along those lines, she probably told him to end his female friendships. He's in love and decided to sacrifice his friendship with you in order to make his future wife happy. Some guys even stop hanging out with their boys when they get married. Not saying its right but when in love, some people do crazy things.

***I'd still go, but not see him. Take a little special vacation for yourself.***

I totally agree.

***He's in love and decided to sacrifice his friendship with you in order to make his future wife happy. Some guys even stop hanging out with their boys when they get married. Not saying its right but when in love, some people do crazy things.***

This may be true in the beginning, however, eventually he will become tired and frustrated and feel trapped and she will run him away forever...

My ex and I had certain nights for Girls and Guys night.... Where we had the opportunity to hang out with our girls or guy friends. We had our standing "dating" night, just for the two of us as well (he being a libra and I a scorp, enjoyed that freedom) and sometimes you need that time with your buddies. It kept an even keel in our relationship.

*** i don't think it's a scorpionic thing to test people - i certainly don't and never have. ::whispers:: although the men can be prone to such childish behaviour.***

Yes Roxi, I agree, I find we scorp women would rather be straight up than play games. The men, on the other hand, love the mind games and trying to control...

When I was younger most of my friends were male. I just got along better with them, as we got older I slowly started to lose them because their girlfriends were uncomfortable with the friendship. Some people really don't believe that men and women can be friends and there could be nothing sexual about it. My best friend moved in with his girlfriend and she seemed ok with our friendship. I found out later that she believed that he was cheating on her and I was the obvious choice. Well we ended up having a big argument and I didn't speak to either of them for a while (he was cheating, but with HER best friend LOL). Eventually, they broke up and my friend and I resumed our friendship. So, I think that if you two were really close and out of the blue he told you that he didn't want to see you again, that it has to be because of pressure from his girlfriend. Don't take it personally it takes a very self confident woman to handle her man's friendship with another woman. Even then, it would still be a little eyebrow raising.

Personally, I wouldnt like the situation if I was his girlfriend either. I mean...your visiting him AND his family? And you have on mulitple occasions? I wouldnt like it either!
I mean, yeah, a friend is a friend is a friend.....but come on. He has to draw the line in the sand somewhere....when two people choose to start becoming more serious with each other...that involves some compromise and sacrifice on both parts. And it also means getting closer to each other's families, and for a female to be jaunting about with him and his family a few times a year is kinda over the boundary I would think. Plus, you have never met her, which means she has never met you, which means she owes you nothing. Perhaps, and this is just a thought, she knew you were coming and told him she wanted to meet you. He probably felt uncomfortable about this, considering he has been venting about her to you, and obviously it wasnt all peaches and cream. Plus, you do seem alittle too pissed off about his choice of girlfriend and his choice in general to choose HIS WIFE. Of course he should choose his wife. For whatever reasons he did this, it sucks, either ask him to explain, or move on.

You also have to remember that men are weak when it comes to emotional issues like this. If his number 1 priority is keeping a happy home with the person that he intends to spend the rest of his life with (which it should be) and if she's that upset by it he was put in a lose/lose position. It sucks to be the friend that's "let go" but he's probably more concerned with keeping the peace in his relationship.

But in the end we're only hearing one side of the story without his this is all just a guessing game but it seems like the most likely scenario to me. Who knows, she could've been standing next to him when he made the phone call which would explain why it was so abrupt. It's too many unknowns but respect his wishes because regardless of whether or not you think this will work out he's grown and he's chosen her and is obviously doing everything he can to work it out.

Also, remember his loyalty is now with the woman he loves.

"Perhaps, and this is just a thought, she knew you were coming and told him she wanted to meet you. He probably felt uncomfortable about this, considering he has been venting about her to you, and obviously it wasnt all peaches and cream."

Thats what I'm thinking. I also find it weird that the fiancee has not met the Crab yet. I know I like meeting all my man's female friends and I volunteer for him to meet my male friends. Maybe the Bull felt he was hiding her. I would think the Crab must be an important friend in his life since she visits via plane to see him and his family. Why hasn't he offered to introduce her to his fiancee? Hmm Maybe he likes her for more than a friend?

sorry that I haven't replied...I was in class...

To give you more information on why it is so weird...
I have known him before he started dating her. It wasn't like he was dating her when I first met him, she was his friend and I kind of talked to him saying ?oh I think she likes you haha?
When he first started dating her, he referred to it as ?raising the white flag? because she pursued him so much. But, by that time, I had met his family (father, sister, brother in law, and his nieces) twice?she hadn't.
This year has really been difficult, and he knew what I was going through. I had said in a previous post on this board that my mom had died, and he suggested ?oh, you should visit us, my family loves you...blah blah blah? So, I said, ?sure, I will during winter break.?

He honestly changes his feelings about her every week. Like, she doesn't understand me...wah. I was shocked that he was even thinking he was going to get married. He is like....anti-marriage. haha it is like he got her pregnant, and it's a shot-gun wedding (although I don't think so).

Earlier this week, he was saying that I was one of his best friends. I really understood him. So you can imagine my surprise when he sends me THIS LETTER. okay......

TaurusBabe, I think you make a good point. But, how should I react to this test. I am just not speaking with him (although I said "congratulations. I am not speaking to you"), but I want to make it clear that his behavior is unacceptable.

honestly, I really don't want him. So, I am not the Julia Roberts character. I wish we can all co-exist. It's like the girlfriend either doesn't want it, or he is making a lot of drama about it. I don't want to date him, I just want to talk about music/movies with him.
Why I am all bent out of shape is that he did a 180 on me. Regardless of what his girlfriend things, I do not deserve this behavior.

ScorpioSweetie,
I know what you mean, and I can agree. But, I don't think it applies here. You see, I respect her decisions, and I would have liked to give her space. I seem a little negative about her because:
1. I only hear about what she does to him (like the fights, etc.) I find that I have to defend her or take her side of things...and explain her to him in order to show a "woman's perspective"
2. He is not pro-marriage. If he ever talked about getting married with her, it was because she is getting older.
3. I have given her no reason to be negative about me, heck, I don't even live near him....but, from what he says, she gets mad when I call him.

It is like he is choosing his wife too hastily.

It is fine, TaurusBabe...all I can give is my side of the story. So, if you want to know more, I will tell you.
I don't really blame the girl for the weird behavior, I blame HIM.

"OMG...I can already visualise this man. I wouldn't be surprised that most of the time he calls you, it's because he's having a "fight" with her."

I completely agree with you!

From what people have posted, I want to make some things clear.

I do feel upset about these actions, I admit it. But not because I want him or have romantic interest in him. It is because I trusted him to be...well...a little bit nicer to me considering the fact that 3-4 days ago, I was talking about how sad I was about my mom and he was like "you have me, we are friends"
Trust destroyed.

I have tried to extend peace to her. I have defended her to him, complimented her to him, etc. I don't think our messages crossed because...of him. But, I have been supportive of his relationship with her.

I don't blame her so much. After all, this could be HIS projection of her feelings, not her real feelings. This is his action, not hers.

SimplyMe,
The urgency, I guess, comes from the fact that I have a ticket from Delta that says I am going to visit him on January 5th. I want to know if I should cancel said ticket.

"THERE you have it. And he does that specifically to get her jealous...because to many Scorp men, a show of jealousy = love."

I agree, Taurusbabe.

Cancergirl, it seems this scorpio was possibly using the situation that you two were friends to his advantage. In essence, if you're calling him and the Bull knows it, who knows what he's telling her on the other end? Let's face it, you don't speak to the Bull so you don't know what BS he's feeding her. Let's just say he told the Bull that you're interested in him as more than friends - she doesn't like it and shows her jealous side. He gets what he wanted from her: A REACTION. Her jealousy spells out love and caring for him. This is not foreign for Scorps. By doing this, he may have dug his own grave because his friendship w/ you is over. Granted, what he did to you was fucked up but its very possible she asked him to cut off ties with you. Could be insecurity, possessiveness, trust issues, call it whatever you may...but again, you only know HIS side not hers.
Do you want to put so much energy into someone who thinks so little of your friendship?

I should add that I don't call him anymore. The situation was that I called once when he was at a department store with her, she got really mad about it. So, I stopped calling him. He now calls me only.

SimplyMe, I know this is protesting too much, but you are not reading it correctly. I do not have romantic feelings for him. Mainly, I feel like I was counting on him for something, and he really let me down. I am left wondering how to clean up.

I could list factors attesting to this (I like someone else, he and I have different outlooks on relationships, he drinks/smokes/etc. and I am like a puritan -- he is my friend, but I don't prefer this in a partner...the list goes on).

Firestarter...I know what you mean! I agree with you.
This is really REALLY weird behavior on his part, I mean...I know he makes hasty decisions, but they don't stick. I don't think he has actually gotten engaged yet.

Recalling all of this makes me feel like he did a smear job on how jealous she is.

Also, was I just blind? Did he really like ME?! Even though I blatantly talked about another guy around him, and he was giving me the stereotypical guy advice...was this sabotage ('cause surprise! it always ended up as "the guy you like is a total nerd")

I did her chart for him. Looking at the chat history....She is a mix of Taurus, Aries, and Aquarius. There is no water element at all.

Here is his natal placement:

Sun Scorpio 28.10
Moon Gemini 23.44
Mercury Scorpio 23.44
Venus Libra 12.12
Mars Cancer 1.07 R
Jupiter Aries 15.24 R
Saturn Leo 2.56 R
Uranus Scorpio 4.22
Neptune Sagittarius 11.02
Pluto Libra 10.54

How long have u been friends?
Does she have planets in 4,8,12th house or moon in 1st house. Or conjunctions with Pluto or Neptune? Aries is a jealous, controlling sign.

I think its quite drastic and immature if he really is just testing you.

Not all Scorpios are loyal to friends and some do give explanations when they end the friendship. I know cause it happened to me 2x.

Maybe he does like you and u didn't see it. Cancers & Scorpios do have tight bonds. I bet his Taurus girlfriend can't handle his intensity. He probably rather have you, his fellow water sign. I don't know any Taurus that can be as emotional as a Scorpio. The only thing in this matchup is the fact that opposites attract and both are sex feens. Taurus are too emotionally stable to the point it seems cold. I haven't met a Taurus yet that can match my intensity, emotional depth & passion (which is why I don't bother with earth signs anymore unless they got water in them). So with all the complaints about her, he probably rather be with you.

I'm thinking setup because Scorpio men go after what they want. If he wanted you to live with him, he wouldn't have disappeared on & off. Scorpio men are super hard to get rid of when they like/love you (and know you like them too). They stick to you like crazy glue.

OH MY GOD
He just sent me another letter. He broke up with her. He was just kidding about the engagement. hahahhaha what the hell?!

I love you.

Ah so he does want you. Of course he wanted you the Cancer. Too bad he played such a stupid game. Friends make the best lovers....... Give him a chance? How long you known him? Opposites do attract.

ftw means?

thanks

He already had my attention...'cause he was my friend.

Sorry to say, I am saving myself for someone else.

Did you ask him why he lied about engagement? We know the answer but i wonder what he's gonna say.

Wow, this is all too familiar!! I had something similar happen to me too involving a scorpio guy as well.
In the beginning when we first met there was an instant attraction and for the first couple of months we danced around each other not really telling how we really felt. All was fine and we constantly kept in contact, then out of the blue i get this email saying he found someone else, how he was into her and that he only thought of me as a friend. I was so devastated and hurt that my initial reaction was to send back an email telling him off and how he was just playing with me. I didn't though... after gathering my thoughts and calming down i decided to ignore it because i just couldn't find the words to express how i felt (especially when being a pisces). Instead i replied back giving my best wishes. About a week later when i was already in the process of trying to move on i get a phone call from him acting like nothing happened. I confronted him and he told me it was a joke and that he wanted to see how i'd react.... WTF—!!!

Anyways, I do agree with those who said that scorpios would test you... it can be so frustrating =p

He hasn't been online so I couldn't find out why he lied about his engagement. He did tell me a couple of things beforehand:
He had broken up with Taurus.
He deleted all ex-girlfriend-emails and addresses. (His way of purging?)
He said he sucks, he just wanted a kid and/or he was getting old
"I'm sorry that I lied"

i always thought ftw meant fuck the what. 😛

where are these...bints, now? and mardy-arses? the first post i read was the one asking what ftw meant, actually. 'bout the only interesting thing i happened to spot.

creeping