Scorpios & Insecurity

I found the following at [http://www.astralarts.com/scorrel.html]:<BR>
Virgoans need order in their lives and Scorpios want to possess. This combination sounds difficult but if both have planets like Venus (love) and Mars (desires) in other more compatible signs it can be a very successful match. If not it may be that the Virgoan is unable to cope with the physical demands of the Scorpio who finds the Virgoan cold and unfeeling. This relationship will be hard work but if they are prepared to work at it Virgoans can learn to be more emotionally supportive of a partner who is deeply insecure and Scorpios can learn to appreciate the real strength of a caring partner.

I think that insecurity is one of the primary emotional states that these two Signs have in common. Virgos deal with it by creating orderly, planned, routine lives - and some of us can become quite neurotic in our desire for stability! - which is why we get so upset when things don't go as planned. With the Scorps I know, this insecurity becomes one of their "little secrets" and they cover it up with a projection of power and a persona of self-control, which is why they take so long to trust - they know that once their significant other can see "the man behind the curtain" the Mighty Oz becomes quite human.

I dated a Virgo once a couple of years ago. In fact you used to give me advice about him all the time. Thanks for that by the way 😉 He made me feel very insecure. Probably more than I have ever felt before, but that is because my intuitions were telling me that he was not over the hurt of his last relationship and was always so guarded and would not give his heart even though I could tell that he really wanted to. I wasn't secure enough to be patient though and it didn't work out.

Yeah... I remember!

S + V will not work if Trust cannot be established - and early on in the relationship.

In my experience, V has to trust first, and if that doesn't happen, the deal folds...

Yes, his lack of trust made me feel so rejected and when I feel rejected I just run away. We actually went out again one year later. I thought that maybe he had learned that he could trust again, but nothing had changed so I finally got closure on that one so that I don't always have to wonder what if.

I think both signs share deep insecurity. Elsewhere I've started a thread about a friend of mine who 'doesn't need people'. He sees that as a strength (he's Scorpio). For many years I 'didn't need people' either. I was terrified of needing them.

So as a Virgo I suspect he is afraid. He would probably see that as an insult. And of course I may be wrong! He may be strong... but it will never seem that way to me. I think it's unfair to be there for others (which Scorps and Virgos always are in my experience) if you will never let them be there for you.

Let me tell you, this Scorp woman I work with has SO MANY complexes, I wouldn't know where to begin.

She is such a huge, huge cookiemonster, man.

Fumingli_scorp,

Did he tell you what it was that you were doing or not doing that was making him insecure?

f_s,

I don't know if it's available in Canada, but there are creams & ointments - including one from KY - that will make your vagina much more sensitive, and therefore make orgasm easier to achieve...

If that's the main insecurity, there are ways to overcum it!

But... I can sympathize with your VirGuy. You Scorps are so INTENSE that it can be very intimidating to us, even in areas where we'd normally feel more confident...

Plus, if we love you, we want to please you, and if we can't, we've failed...

Oh man, I know how frustrating that is. I have the opposite problem. Because of some medication that my man is on he has an erection all the time, but cannot orgasm easily. Sometimes we are trying for an hour and nothing happens and I finally just have to give up. He usually just doesn't take the medication for a couple of days before we see each other which makes it better, but thats not a longterm solution. He has a Dr. appt. to see about getting off of the medication for good. He can't just stop cold turkey. I hope it works because it is very frustrating for both of us and sex has never felt so much like work for me ever. It makes me feel like less than a woman when I can't please him so I know how your BF feels.

DyerstraBe is right though. There are things you can do to make your situation better. If you are talking about that you cannot orgasm with just sex alone that is perfectly normal and most women cannot orgasm with just penetration alone. If you can't have a clitoral orgasm than that's a different story. Can you orgasm with clitoral stimulation through masturbation or vibrators? You could bring yourself almost to that point before you see him with one of those methods and then he can just finish the job. Also have him try inserting his finger in your vagina and pressing up on your g-spot while he stimulating your clitoras. That works REALLY well. Believe me if that is the only reason you guys are breaking up, you can fix that. Also, you can go to a Hypnotherapist to learn how to relax your mind enough to orgasm if that is the problem. Be careful how you find a hypnotherapist though. There are a lot who don't know what they are doing. PM me if you want more info about that.

OKAY STOP WITH THE MADNESS, UMM! SCORPIO IS KNOWN AS BEING THE MOST CONFIDENT SIGN. THEY ARE ALSO KNOWN FOR HAVING SUPREME SELF CONFIDENCE. IN ADDITION TO THAT, THEY ARE ALSO KNOWN FOR BEING THE MOST MISUNDERSTOOD SIGN IN THE ZODIAC AND THIS IS WHERE THE MISUNDERSTANDING OF THIS FORUM KICKS IN.

SCORPIOS, DO NOT WANT TO POSESS, THEY JUST GET OFF ON IT, LOL
THEY DON'T care what others think like those other zodiac signs.THEY DON'T HAVE FUNNY INSECURITIES LIKE THOSE OTHER SIGNS. THEY DON'T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK. IN FACT, SCORPIOS POSSESS POWER AND THEY ARE KNOWN FOR THAT, AND MOST PEOPLE LIKE TO BE UNDER THEIR CONTROL. IF ANYTHING WE JUST DON'T TRUST YOU ENOUGH... LOL
I KNOW THAT WHEN I LEAD, EVERYONE WILL BE HAPPY. SORRY HUN, BUT (GOD) MADE ME THE HEAD NOT THE TAIL, I WAS JUST BORN THAT WAY. NOTHING TO DO WITH SIGNS
I THINK WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, DyarStra?e IS, ANALYZE A SIGN THAT REALLY NEEDS CONTROL TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES, LIKE LEO, OR ARIES.. THE TRUE INSECURE SIGNS... LEAVE SCORPIOS ALONE, OR BETTER YET MIND YOUR BUSINESS. I'M SURE THAT WEBSITE YOU FOUND THAT SHEIT ON DIDN'T MEAN IT THE WAY YOU THINK THEY DID, YOUR INSECURE.

BESIDES, WHY WOULD SUCH A GREAT SIGN, SUCH AS, (SCORPIO) HAVE A REASON TO BE INSECURE. OUR ISSUES , I THINK ARE BEYOND THAT, IT SHOULD BE...

PEOPLE SHOULD TRY ANALYZING SIGNS, SUCH AS, LEO , WHO REALLY ARE INSECURE ! INSTEAD OF IGNORING WHERE THEIR WHOLE LITTLE HATING, KING OF JUNGLE , ALL EYES ON ME ATTITUDE AND REFERING TO THEM AS CONCEITED STEMS FROM. THEY TRULY ARE INSECURE...

LEAVE SCORPIOS BE, LET THEM BE WHO THEY ARE, WE DON'T TRY TO CONTROL PEOPLE PURPOSELY OR DOMINATE OTHERS, PEOPLE ARE JUST IMPRESSED BY US AND FALL...

PLUS, LET'S JUST SHAKE THE SCORPIO + VIRGO THING. THEY ARE JUST TOO DAMN CALCULATED, PRE MEDITATED AND CONTROLLING THEMSELVES, TO BE ABLE TO GET WITH THE GENUINE SCORPIO,...


THEY URKK

FS, it sounds as though it may be that he has transmitted his fear of not being able to give you an orgasm. Sheesh, it's difficult to come when there's so much pressure on you! CErtainly it woul be a good idea to seek some knd of therapy, simply because otherwise you risk setting up a pattern, whereas in fact you have identified the root of the problem and so it shouldn't be too difficult to deal with.

Hugs to you. This sucks... I really, really hope you get a chance to try again with him, but on the other hand, if he is prepared to let this finish you, then perhaps he hasn't the emotional staying power a mature relationship needs in so many areas.

He is only breaking up with you out of frustration that's all. I think if you tell him you are going to find a way to get over this he will give it another chance. Lots of women have this problem which is why women are always faking it. I have lots of clients with this problem and even worse problems. I had a woman that had a fear of penetration and was still a virgin at 38. Don't worry, with the RIGHT help any mental thing like this can be overcome. Interview a few therapists (preferably those that do Hypnosis for best results) and go with the one that you feel most comfortable with. Don't go with anyone that you feel the least bit of uncomfortableness with. Also, you should probably go with a woman.

Don't you think the REAL problem is that he's seeing this as 'his' problem? And can't tolerate it all not being perfect? That's what would need to be talked about IMHO. This is so common as to not really be an issue - except somehow, it is!

My first night with a guy, he was SO apologetic and I was like, "Hey, it's about more than that! I had a great time!"

I meant it - women usually do.

Not sure he believed me. Men often don't I suspect!

gslove: He is only breaking up with you out of frustration that's all.

That's a definite possibility. Lots of "macho" men wouldn't care whether you came or not, so long as they got their nut...

Therapy may be needed to get beyond the "emotional block" the SAG gave you. And if you explain all this sincerely to the VirGuy, he'll probably want to hang in there with you...

flumingo, dyarstrabe, perhaps you broads are just insecure and being a Scorpio has nothing to do with it. Confidence is very important to a scorpio, so yes i agree, we can feel what is bothering us or affecting us more, but that's just more the reason that we are so developed into our own indviduals. when something knocks me, i attack that sheit, fight it and win!!!! always, since a child, no matter what lies i heard, i always knew the truth about myself. No matter what earthly things have occured, the truth lies in the basis of who i am and what i'm about... !!! SCORPIOS have supreme self confidence boo-boo, maybe it's you... and rockchick, sex is not the basis of a relationship, you're just horny..and you have not yet experieced real intimacy , therefore you use that as a means to connect. No, sweety, (God) did not intend for us to be sexual beings, only to connect with the opposite sex. Sex is for love making and reproducing... Sex is not everything, it is important. My dad always told me, love, intimacy , and realness comes frist, sex is the last thing on the list, and don't you ever think it comes first. he says that everything else is the meal and sex is the salt and pepper... remember that , always remember your body is a temple..!!

'No, sweety, (God) did not intend for us to be sexual beings, only to connect with the opposite sex. Sex is for love making and reproducing... Sex is not everything, it is important. My dad always told me, love, intimacy , and realness comes frist, sex is the last thing on the list, and don't you ever think it comes first. he says that everything else is the meal and sex is the salt and pepper... remember that , always remember your body is a temple'

**Applauding flygrllchi**

thank you , thank you

lol

Once again, pisces_prince, it could have just been you. I don't think that it is possible for insecurity+scorpio to simultaneously exist. They are simply too powerful and splendid at everything they do. I think that scorps have strong emotions and they feel deeply, things may make them feel bad, and in relationships, if our heads are blown up or we're aren't respected , that pain will show.
However, everyone has good and bad days...! Maybe you should try and analyze your ex, instead of the zodiac as a whole. I think that Scorps are so magnificant that people wish they could say we suffer from those insecurities they might suffer from, i.e., pisces, leo, etc. I don't think scorps would be all of what they are, if they suffered from this. However, we might show totally different sides in relationships... we are more delicate in these affairs, but in life, simply , "WE ARE FIERCE"...


JUST FIERCE...

I SUGGEST YOU LOOK WITHIN YOUR OWN PERSONAL AFFAIRS INSTEAD OF BLAMING THE WHOLE ZODIAC SIGN..

I have a bookmark that states:

Scorpio

YOU SEEK NO ONE'S APPROVAL FOR THE THINGS YOU DO OR SAY, YOU HAVE (SUPREME) SELF-CONFIDENCE AND USUALLY GET YOUR WAY. YOU LIVE UP TO REAL COMMITMENTS AND WITH MONEY YOU TAKE CARE, YOU LOCK IN ON WHAT YOU WANT DETERMINATION, TAKES YOU THERE. THE SENSITIVE SHOULD NOT INQUIRE TRUE OPINIONS, YOU WILL GIVE DON'T ASK A SCORPIO'S OPINION IF WITH THE TRUTH YOU CANNOT BARE.!!!

ANOTHER THING PRINCE_PISCES... MOST 18 YEAR OLDS ARE BATTELING WITH THEMSELVES AS A WHOLE....THEY ARE LEARNING THEMSELVES AND GOING THROUGH AN IMAGINARY AUDIENCE. I NEVER WENT THROUGH THIS SHEIT AS A YOUNG CHILD, BUT OF COURSE...

f_s,

I just posted a new thread on the Scorp Board about how Debra & I fight. I hope it helps. I'm gonna add more to it, so y'all can see it ain't always a bed of roses.

I think S & V can really hurt each other, because we get so wrapped up in each other; and, because us Virgs can spin the words, while y'all overwhelm us with the passions.

Christina: I just wish they would keep their mouths shut and not say anything sometimes.

Yep, I've been told that before! Debra has accused me of having diarrhea of the mouth more than once over the past two years...