Shit my dad says...

Funniest shit ever on twitter

* Name Justin
* Bio I'm 29. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says

click here

some highlights...

"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."

(watching the Little League World Series) "These kids are all fat. I remember when you were in little league.... You were fat."

"How the fuck should I know if it's still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn't good. You people, you think I got microscopic fucking eyes."

"Your mother rented this film, What Happens In Vegas. I thought it was going to be non-fiction, but it's fiction, and it's about some idiot.

"I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' fucking umbrella in it"

"They serve Jim Beam on airplanes. Tastes like piss. You wouldn't be able to tell the difference, because you drink shit. I don't."

"The dog is not bored, it's a fucking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He's a god damned dog."

"It's watering plants, Justin. You just take a God damned hose and you put it over the plant. You don't even pay rent, just do it. Shit."

"The dog is an outside dog. You want an inside dog, you go get your own inside."

If your brother comes by, tell him I'm on vacation. I already told him that, but who knows with that guy. Are you listening to me? Fuck.

works for me

I gave the link

try this muneca

http://twitter.com/Shitmydadsays

you shouldn't need to have an account I dont

I can't wait till I'm the crazy old lady who speaks any and everything on her mind and people won't act offended (in front of me) because I'm so old.

I've already started practicing 🙂

LadyM! ^_^.

And LOL @ TAC

lookie at cappiesweetie 🙂