This sting is destroying me!

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by saggit on Tuesday, August 1, 2006 and has 177 replies.

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A few months ago a scorp girl at work who was rebounding started befriending me, out of nowhere. She did all the work, sent all the emails, made all the calls. We started going to lunch together. We discussed dating. She said she wanted to be friends, even though she was really attracted to me. I have a no friends with girls policy. I was hurt that she didn't want to take it further, but that's life. Let's just be friendly co-workers then.

Then she started smothering me with attention. She is gorgeous, but the attention was just too much. And I stared feeling she had some implant in me, because everywhere I went, she was there. This didn't FEEL like friendship. It felt like she was coming on to me, hands all over me, teasing me, all that stuff. I confronted her with it. I told her she was sending mixed messages. She DEMANDED that we be friends. I told her I'm sorry, I can't do that. You are very cool and charming and that's WHY I can't be your friend. I will want you too much.

The next day she kissed me, in the parking lot at work. (late at nite, no one was there). The day after, it was basically on. She was always by my side, looking at me like she was going to devour me later. My head was spinning.

Then she tells me some people at work saw us. That it was the funny thing at the office next day. Back to us being friends. But I realized that her version of friends was me constantly trying to make her feel good about the evil world, and her making out with me at work. That's just too casual for me.

I started ignoring her. I felt she was using me, she has a way of making me feel cheap and disposable. Like I was her little toy. That it was always her way or no way. This mixed in with making me feel great about myself. I can't explain it.

She didn't like being ignored. We had the friend speech one more time. She was trying to force me into a friendship with her and all I wanted was to not put a label on it yet.

Then things started getting dark. We would kind of hate each other one day and the next be just like when we first started hanging out. I had decided that I needed something more than a make out friend. But that she was still important to me, and I wanted our time at work to mean something.

Then she started flirting with another guy at work in front of me, who was insanely jealous of all the attention I was getting. Of course, now the other guy was getting the attention I was starting to get jealous. She kind of toned down on th

@saggit

19 Years

She kind of toned down on the flirting, since she had gotten her reaction, and her sensitive spot to use against me. Basically, she doesn't get the attention she wants, she flirts with the other guy, and I get jealous. I started to hate her.

Then she started to try to win me back. It took a few weeks but I finally started warming up to her again. Just in time for her to flirt with the other guy. And he thought he was the man, because he "stole her" from me. Whatever. I couldn't take it. I called her on it. I tried to be nice at first, I told her that I wanted to make sure we were cool. That I'm not going to make a move on her. If a girl tells me she doesn't want to date me I'm not going to keep trying with her. Then I called her a little crazy. Big mistake.

This was a month ago. Her first reaction was to give me cold icy stares and flirt with the other guy in front of me. It hurt but I started to accept that maybe she was just a narcissist and that she found a new source. At one point I saw her outside, I was set to apologize but she whipped out her cell phone. She started parking her car next to me. She would leave for lunch and for home when I would, and I got the impression that she maybe wanted to talk but she can talk to me if she wants. I knew she wanted me to see her. Checking in on me, her property.

Then she started visting me a little. She told the other guy to screw himself, making him feel like crap. Now she doesn't talk to him anymore, but she isn't really talking to me either. She won't look at me in the eye. She'll avoid me completely for a day, the next day she'll visit for a little, then the next day she won't look at me. She wants me to KNOW that she is avoiding me. And she does this by hanging around me, spying on me, I can feel her eyes all over me even though she won't look at me. At this point I wish I never hurt her. I'm a goner. I just want her to acknowledge me. I think she is testing me. She's making me so uncomfortable, and I think she's getting off on it.

@saggit

19 Years

I don't know what to do. Just move on with my life? Try to apologize to her a month later and still feel like a man? And if I do, I feel like she'll just blow me off. I used to be so freaked out by her, all the attention, like she was a stalker, but now that she is being so cold I can't think about anything else. I just want her to want me again. As scary as that wanting has been. And she KNOWS it. At least I think she does. I'm trying to be sweet and gentle around her. One day a warm smile from her, the next day NOTHING. I'm a goner.

Please, give me some advice. I am losing my mind.

BTW I am sorry about such a long post. I tried to keep it brief.

This sting is destroying me!

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