Understanding a Scorpio Man after breakup

Hi Everybody. New the the forum.

Have been left pretty badly hurt and confused by a Scorpio man and wanted to know if anyone can help me understand how these mystical creatures work. He sure is the most complex man I have ever known.

Me and my Scorpio were friends for a while but I was in a relationship with someone else. That relationship was not so great, but I stuck with it for longer than I should have. All the way through that relationship my Scorpio guy made it pretty clear he wanted to be with me. I kept it just friendly and we got to know each other pretty well. I'd characterise him as a really good person but very insecure and very guarded with his emotions.

I kept asking him why I was so special to him and why he wanted to be with me so badly, and he said he just felt I was the right girl for him - beautiful, kind, funny and caring and he felt we would be really good together. As my relationship ended, my Scorpio guy and I got closer and I started dating and it was something he had wanted for a long time. The first while was great -he was completely into me - almost like obsessed and it was really great. Both of us were a little scared by the intensity - not something I have experienced before.

At the same time this was happenning, another girl was chasing after him. She was pretty blatant about it. She was always texting him, always putting herself on a plate for him and I wasn't threatened as I knew he could have had her before he was with me if he wanted and I thought she was kind of embarrasing herself. I didn't see that she was the type of girl he would go for and I also felt pretty settled that things were good with us.

Strangely though, two months into dating he kind of flipped a switch a little. Like he pulled away and shut down on me, and I tried pretty hard to talk to him about it and he would only say that he liked me more than he had expected to and didn't want to fall for someone because he felt he'd get hurt and he was scared. I was pretty patient, but it got tiring and I felt like if he could not just enjoy being with me that we weren't going to work out. We had a fight about it one day and I broke up with him saying that if he could not commit to getting close to me, we had nothing to work with.

He reacted by sleeping with this girl 😢

I found out about it, and even though we had split up he was really sorry. He just said to me that he enjoyed the attention from her and the ego boost, that he was lonely and afraid of getting close to people and he would do whatever I wanted or needed to repair things. He said he didn't want to lose me etc. I was mad and hurt, especially as he had been texting and communicating with her while dating me, and probably encouraing her attention, and I felt pretty sick over him sleeping with her. I was pretty angry and told him not to contact me again.

To be honest, I really wanted to work it through. I can't help it. I'm in love with the guy but I

It must suck to be in love with a prick you dumped a boyfriend for eh?

I didn't dump my boyfriend for him. It was a bad relationship that was ending regardless.

Posted by mistywindows
I didn't dump my boyfriend for him. It was a bad relationship that was ending regardless.

Yea..got that, but you strung him along while you entertained the attention from the Scorp until you sealed the deal, and karma was like a cactus being shoved up your rump as a result.

Saw right through that. 😉

Lol. No. the boyfriend I was with was still in love with an ex. He wasn't strung along at all...neither of us was really into it. The ex boyfriend and I are really good friends.

I just realised that it cut off my initial pot before I'd finished.

My question was that after he did this, I noticed he unfriended me and unfollowed me on Instagram. Something he's not done with any of his other ex girfriends. This is something I would only do if I really hated someone, and I was so hurt and confused by it.

I guess I don;t understand...tell a girl you want her...start an amazing relationship that is going great....pull away out of nowhere...cause the girl you are with to feel hurt and rejected and end the relationship in frustration and then sleep with someone else? Someone who had been chasing him for ages, that he could have had at anytime? It seems so destructive and senseless.

And why unfollow me on everything? I feel like I am hated or something and don;t get why 😢

Posted by mistywindows
Lol. No. the boyfriend I was with was still in love with an ex. He wasn't strung along at all...neither of us was really into it. The ex boyfriend and I are really good friends.

Love when people come to dxp and twist shit up to justify. I'm sorry..but this here:

Posted by mistywindows
All the way through that relationship my Scorpio guy made it pretty clear he wanted to be with me.

click to expand

Bottom line is...you state you were with someone and entertained this Scorp THROUGHOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP with the other guy. You strung him along "all the way through." Don't blame the other guy, it's really disgusting.

Posted by flowingwater

Posted by LetltB

Posted by mistywindows
Lol. No. the boyfriend I was with was still in love with an ex. He wasn't strung along at all...neither of us was really into it. The ex boyfriend and I are really good friends.

Love when people come to dxp and twist shit up to justify. I'm sorry..but this here:

Posted by mistywindows
All the way through that relationship my Scorpio guy made it pretty clear he wanted to be with me.

Bottom line is...you state you were with someone and entertained this Scorp THROUGHOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP with the other guy. You strung him along "all the way through." Don't blame the other guy, it's really disgusting.

No one is perfect,

Does it kill to be helpful? Probably does..

click to expand

...translation...the truth sucks.

OP, any man of any sign is capable of the behavior your guy is displaying.. nothing mystical at all.

In his words, he said he "didn't want to fall for someone because he felt he'd get hurt and he was scared" "enjoyed the attention from her and the ego boost, that he was lonely and afraid of getting close to people."

Believe what he is saying and pay attention to his actions. Do you think he's capable of changing? Are you willing to wait?

Response to "honesty"

Of course he (and any intelligent man for that matter) is weary of her. She entertained him while she was with her boyfriend the entire time.

#whatcomesaround...

If you're here for the purpose of answering a question you can remove my ex from the equation. He didn't love me, didn't want to be with me. The relationship was two lonely people who were together for the sake of it. There was no passion or love on either side and we get along great as friends now. He's seeing someone else who fits a lot better with him and we talk almost every day as good friends. We were always friends trying to make it into something it wasn't - and that was felt on both sides.

My chat with my Scorpio man throughout my relationship was friendly only. Not romantic.

I'm here to try and understand my Scorpio man and his really crazy behavior, which maybe no one can help me do, but I am hurting lot

Posted by LetltB
lol...@ the cries for validation. Not happening..

I've not asked for validation anywhere.

My post was to ask about the behavior of a Scorpio on a Scorpio forum.

I don't need your validation.

You seem like:

a) an idiot

b) immature

c) a bully

d) kind of sadistic to come on here and throw abuse at someone in pain

e) potentially a misodgynist (who can't get a woman and therefore is angry at all women?)

there's deifnitely hate there...for reasons I am confused by.

So your validation is worth about as much as a 2 cent piece to me

Excuse me. How exactly is it a crime to have a boyfriend and have a friend ask you out during that time?

I didn't cheat.

I didn't say yes.

I didn't think about him romantically.

I didn't flirt.

I didn't encourage.

I didn't do stuff with him behind BFs back.

I just knew my friend liked me. HE liked ME. Was not reciprocal or something I chose or asked for.

I started seeing him after my relationship ended.

you're creating a fantasy story

At this point, it doesn't matter how you guys got together. He's acting very shady... sounds like time to stop trying to "make this work" and focus on you.

I am a cancer.

I don't think I was expecting a diferrent result to be honest. I felt like I had tried to communicate with him that his pulling away was painful for me and he was not listening to me. I felt, I guess like we either needed to split permanently or take a long break.

Him being with someone else right away genuinely made me feel like I must have meant absolutely nothing to him. But I guess even then I expected he'd still CARE about me.

Unfriending me, unfollowing me and being hostile to me makes me feel like him chsing me for a year was really just makeing me a notch on his bedpost.

Posted by mistywindows
Excuse me. How exactly is it a crime to have a boyfriend and have a friend ask you out during that time?

I didn't cheat.

I didn't say yes.

I didn't think about him romantically.

I didn't flirt.

I didn't encourage.

I didn't do stuff with him behind BFs back.

I just knew my friend liked me. HE liked ME. Was not reciprocal or something I chose or asked for.

I started seeing him after my relationship ended.

you're creating a fantasy story

mistywindows, I have been in the exact same situation, and of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I also met my scorpio when I was still with my ex, however already in the end phase of the relationship. And only a while after I broke up with my ex, I let him in, and started considering a romantic relationship with him. Fellow scorpios here probably find it easy to judge, not knowing the situation.. Anyways, I am still with my scorpio and my ex-relationship had no negative impact on his/our commitment whatsoever.

It's untypical for scorpio's to cheat, and they normally know what they want but yours sounds more like he hasn't even made up his mind. Before you get too caught up in a scorpio relationship of the toxic type, do yourself the favor and get out of it.

Posted by mistywindows
I guess I don;t understand...tell a girl you want her...start an amazing relationship that is going great....pull away out of nowhere...cause the girl you are with to feel hurt and rejected and end the relationship in frustration and then sleep with someone else? Someone who had been chasing him for ages, that he could have had at anytime? It seems so destructive and senseless.

And why unfollow me on everything? I feel like I am hated or something and don;t get why 😢

You have an interesting way of summarizing your situation. Perhaps because you're hurting it's being filtered through those eyes. However, from what I read based on your words it went more like this:

"I guess I don't understand...tell a girl that was in an "unhappy" relationship you want her... wait patiently while she continues this "unhappy" relationship and when she is ready...start an amazing relationship that is going great....pull away due to insecurity about how she truly feels about him and if she's truly committed because the whole process felt like I was a consolation prize---she was in a relationship and maintain a friendship with me knowing how I felt. Even encouraged his romantic feelings by continuously "asking him why I was so special to him and why he wanted to be with me so badly"---not really a platonic conversation as I'm making it seem here....more like testing the waters ...the girl you are with feel hurt and rejected when he pull away, rather than be as patient as he was in waiting for her she ends the relationship in frustration, so I move on to someone else that I've been stayin in touch with just like my girlfriend did with me? A girl that chased him for ages, that he could have had at anytime?" Looks a lot like what you did, no?

Not very complicated at all. You state this:

Posted by mistywindows
I was mad and hurt, especially as he had been texting and communicating with her while dating me, and probably encouraing her attention, and I felt pretty sick over him sleeping with her.

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I'm sorry, we're you not doing the exact same thing while you were dating someone? As for "encouraging her" you are no better. You can paint it all you want but friends don't ask friends "why do you want me" knowing that will only fan the flames. You're both in the same boat as far as I'm seeing it. As for being sick about him sleeping with her, you were broken up. He was free and clear to do whatever he wanted. You have no claim to him once you pulled the plug. I am very curious as to how you even found out they slept together.

cont

^^^
Frankly , it sounds more like your breakup was actually you giving him an ultimatum that backfired:

Posted by mistywindows
To be honest, I really wanted to work it through.

If that's the case why break up with him? Why not communicate your feelings and let the man sit and process what you had to say and then come to his own conclusions? As far as a Scorp is concerned you bailed as soon as you didn't get your way. It is what it is. Learn from it I suppose. Call it frustration, feeling hurt whatever. Whenever you state something (e.g. we're done) knowing you actually want to person to change to suit your needs you are issuing an ultimatum. Ultimatums will get you one place with a Scorp. Left in the dust.

You're entitiled to whatever you choose to feel, but seriously this isn't about how mystical or complex he is. You were both uncommitted whether you care to see that or not.

Since you stating this is the only reason you posted:

Posted by mistywindows
My question was that after he did this, I noticed he unfriended me and unfollowed me on Instagram. Something he's not done with any of his other ex girfriends. This is something I would only do if I really hated someone, and I was so hurt and confused by it.


Generally Scorps don't need to stay in contact with an ex. You're in my circle or you're not. In your case perhaps he feels it would be best to cut you off entirely to move on. No hate. No ploy to get to look for him. Take his lead and chill for a bit as well. Take care of yourself and see where that takes you.

Since you stating this is the only reason you posted:

Posted by mistywindows
My question was that after he did this, I noticed he unfriended me and unfollowed me on Instagram. Something he's not done with any of his other ex girfriends. This is something I would only do if I really hated someone, and I was so hurt and confused by it.

Generally Scorps don't need to stay in contact with an ex. You're in my circle or you're not. In your case perhaps he feels it would be best to cut you off entirely to move on. No hate. No ploy to get to look for him. Take his lead and chill for a bit as well. Take care of yourself and see where that takes you.

Posted by FrostAndBite
I don't correlate having sex just after a break up with the illegitimacy of feeling towards the relationship. Sex to me in that situation is like drinking or drugs after a break up. It distracts you, let's you be selfish, doesn't remind you of any failings in the relationship. Or the personal failings that might have led to it's end.

Do Scorpios demote relationship meaningfulness post break up? I feel like if anything we are more prone to ascribe higher meaning to a connection than what really was there. Even my past flings or short relationships, none are notches. They're moments or experiences that I cherish having in my history.

At least that's how I see it. But in a weird ass Scorp too..

Not so weird at all. She's creating meaning where there is none. Part of the reason it hurts more.

Given the OPs sign I leave y'all to it. I don't speak Crab.

Given the OPs sign I leave y'all to it. I don't speak DXP Crab.

Posted by FrostAndBite

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If you ever had another DXP username, I think this should be it.

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😛

I just read the rest of the thread an figure there was no point.

And I had a typo in one of those lol.

All the Scorpio men I know tend to make poor choices in romantic partners and tend to screw it up with the ones who would probably have been a solid match.

I don't have an explanation for this, because FEAR seems like the obvious answer, but I think that's a copout because Scorpio men are pretty steadfast in general.

I know it sucks, I was stung SO badly by a Scorpio...we were only together 2 years and it took me another 2 to get completely over it. Still the love of my life, but it was toxic. I think you need to take his behavior as a reflection of his feelings/intentions.

People will show you who they are...you must listen.

you know I guess I wasn't really thinking of getting him back.

The truth is though...a guy who is friends with you for a long time - takes time to build up some level of trust, caring and friendship is someone you have expectations from. I can understand he genuinely has some issues with intimacy or whatever and that's fine, but it felt really cruel to jump right into bed with someone else. Maybe I don't see stuff the way other people do on that one.

If I split up with someone I have a grieving period.

I also don't unfollow their instagram unless I really hate them and they did awful stuff to me.

At the same time this was happenning, another girl was chasing after him. She was pretty blatant about it. She was always texting him, always putting herself on a plate for him and I wasn't threatened as I knew he could have had her before he was with me if he wanted and I thought she was kind of embarrasing herself. I didn't see that she was the type of girl he would go for and I also felt pretty settled that things were good with us.

Strangely though, two months into dating he kind of flipped a switch a little. Like he pulled away and shut down on me, and I tried pretty hard to talk to him about it and he would only say that he liked me more than he had expected to and didn't want to fall for someone because he felt he'd get hurt and he was scared. I was pretty patient, but it got tiring and I felt like if he could not just enjoy being with me that we weren't going to work out. We had a fight about it one day and I broke up with him saying that if he could not commit to getting close to me, we had nothing to work with.

He reacted by sleeping with this girl 😢

I found out about it, and even though we had split up he was really sorry. He just said to me that he enjoyed the attention from her and the ego boost, that he was lonely and afraid of getting close to people and he would do whatever I wanted or needed to repair things. He said he didn't want to lose me etc. I was mad and hurt, especially as he had been texting and communicating with her while dating me, and probably encouraing her attention, and I felt pretty sick over him sleeping with her. I was pretty angry and told him not to contact me again.

To be honest, I really wanted to work it through. I can't help it. I'm in love with the guy but I



You did the exact same thing with him...kept him as an ego booster/friend whatever you want to call it.

He probably didn't plan to have sex with her while you were together but you broke up with him. I will never understand how people get upset when someone sleeps with someone no matter how fast after you've broken up with them...makes no sense.

You did the same thing with your boyfriend so you should see where he's coming from clearer than anyone honestly.

And yet you pretend like you don't.

Posted by mistywindows
I didn't dump my boyfriend for him. It was a bad relationship that was ending regardless.

You did the exact same thing with him...kept him as an ego booster/friend whatever you want to call it.

He probably didn't plan to have sex with her while you were together but you broke up with him. I will never understand how people get upset when someone sleeps with someone no matter how fast after you've broken up with them...makes no sense. 

You did the same thing with your boyfriend so you should see where he's coming from clearer than anyone honestly. 

And yet you pretend like you don't. 

what's wrong with having friends?

If I stopped talking to all the male friends I have who had asked me out, I'd not have many left. That doesn't mean I keep them around as an ego boost...it just means men tend to like being friends with women they find attractive. I have plenty of relationships with friends of the oppsoite sex and provided I am not flirting / encouraging and using them for anything other than a platonic friend I haven't done anything wrong.

I didn;t do the same thing with my boyfriend at all. My boyfriend and I had a relationshp that was not working on any level for either of us. We ended it mutually and we are not awesome friends who look back on it as great experience.

What my Scorpio man did was to chase me, catch me, and then act like a douchebag and when I tried to deal with it he went and slept with someone else and instead of making an effort to make ammends he went and blocked me on everything like I never existed.

How I treated my boyfriend was ice and fire compared to this. No similarity at all. every relationship ends and we move onto the next one. Usually though, a relationship ends because it's not working, not beause someone is too scared to get close to you, and usually when a reationship ends a maure person doesn't need to be putting it in someone else within 6 hours.

Maybe we have diferrent standards

That's not true though...he categorises his own behavior as appaling. Hence the two days filled with grovelling and apologies. He told me he'd een a horrible person. It;s not my perspective...it's both of ours.

Posted by FrostAndBite
Damnit crab.

I see you don't speak DXP Crab either 😉.

Posted by FrostAndBite

Posted by mistywindows
That's not true though...he categorises his own behavior as appaling. Hence the two days filled with grovelling and apologies. He told me he'd een a horrible person. It;s not my perspective...it's both of ours.

I'm not sure I'm understanding you.

So he's not talking or engaging with you on social media, but you two are talking/texting still? And he's asking for another go and apologizing and trying to mend things, yet you don't want him back? Why are you still talking to him and allowing him around if things are over for you?

Do you just want to know he feels as bad as you do over everything? If so that seems a little cruel and kinda pointless ultimately.

click to expand

He was with her, I found out (he kind of made SURE I found out like he wanted me to) and at that point he spent two days really apologising. He admitted 100% that he sabotaged our relationship and acted a douche to me, he admmitted 100% that he was not thinking about me and had commitment issues and it was his fault completely. He admitted he should not have been talking to that girl in the first place and he admitted he should not have slept with her instead of working through stuff with me. He says in his own words he was a "horrible person" and he feels shame.

So I said to him I was mad, but needed time and space but we could probably be friends later on.

So as far as I knew, I had every right to be mad - he agreed I did - and then he unfollows me o instangram and starts deleting me.

So I guss it;s weird to beg someone for fogiveness and say you ill do ANYTHING to repair the relationship to only forget about that within a week and act the oppsite way. But then i guess this is his modus operanda -like chasing me for a year and then acting like he didn't want me.

Maybe this is not a Scorpio problem, rather than him just being an idiot.

Slept with who?

I didn;t sleep with anyone except the Scorpio. Boyfriend previous to that I actually never slept with. As I said, chemistry was off.

Im happy to listen to other perspectvies Frost. I am sorry. Im really sad, hurt, low and feel a bit abused by this guy.

I guess there is potential he cut me off so he didn't have to be hurt by seeing me - truthfully though from where I am standing he feels angry at me.

His moon is in Capricorn.

Yeah, he's gone very, very, very cold. I'd really like to think positively Frost that it's happenned because he needed to heal or felt something for me. Would hate to think he didn't care at all about losing me.

Posted by mistywindows
what's wrong with having friends?

If I stopped talking to all the male friends I have who had asked me out, I'd not have many left. That doesn't mean I keep them around as an ego boost...it just means men tend to like being friends with women they find attractive. I have plenty of relationships with friends of the oppsoite sex and provided I am not flirting / encouraging and using them for anything other than a platonic friend I haven't done anything wrong.

I didn;t do the same thing with my boyfriend at all. My boyfriend and I had a relationshp that was not working on any level for either of us. We ended it mutually and we are not awesome friends who look back on it as great experience.

What my Scorpio man did was to chase me, catch me, and then act like a douchebag and when I tried to deal with it he went and slept with someone else and instead of making an effort to make ammends he went and blocked me on everything like I never existed.

How I treated my boyfriend was ice and fire compared to this. No similarity at all. every relationship ends and we move onto the next one. Usually though, a relationship ends because it's not working, not beause someone is too scared to get close to you, and usually when a reationship ends a maure person doesn't need to be putting it in someone else within 6 hours.

Maybe we have diferrent standards

The point I was trying to make is that you could have been a bit more understanding....since you both ended up having sex with someone you were communicating with mutually during your relationships while knowing the person liked you in a non platonic manner. ...that's all I was saying.

I don't see how you don't see how similar you're situations are

Posted by happyface1

Posted by mistywindows
what's wrong with having friends?

If I stopped talking to all the male friends I have who had asked me out, I'd not have many left. That doesn't mean I keep them around as an ego boost...it just means men tend to like being friends with women they find attractive. I have plenty of relationships with friends of the oppsoite sex and provided I am not flirting / encouraging and using them for anything other than a platonic friend I haven't done anything wrong.

I didn;t do the same thing with my boyfriend at all. My boyfriend and I had a relationshp that was not working on any level for either of us. We ended it mutually and we are not awesome friends who look back on it as great experience.

What my Scorpio man did was to chase me, catch me, and then act like a douchebag and when I tried to deal with it he went and slept with someone else and instead of making an effort to make ammends he went and blocked me on everything like I never existed.

How I treated my boyfriend was ice and fire compared to this. No similarity at all. every relationship ends and we move onto the next one. Usually though, a relationship ends because it's not working, not beause someone is too scared to get close to you, and usually when a reationship ends a maure person doesn't need to be putting it in someone else within 6 hours.

Maybe we have diferrent standards

The point I was trying to make is that you could have been a bit more understanding....since you both ended up having sex with someone you were communicating with mutually during your relationships while knowing the person liked you in a non platonic manner. ...that's all I was saying.

I don't see how you don't see how similar you're situations are

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Yes I understand what you meant there Happy. Agree, people can build relationships with others while seeing someone else, even platonically that ends up being something when you split up. I get your point. I guess my point was that he was not trying to build a relationship with ME when he was in it. And he fought pretty hard for that opportunity so it seemed weird to be investing instead in getting to know someone else. Which was my entire problem. He should have been focussing on that, instead of not having time for me. You know, that hurts of course.

Posted by FrostAndBite

Posted by mistywindows
His moon is in Capricorn.

Yeah, he's gone very, very, very cold. I'd really like to think positively Frost that it's happenned because he needed to heal or felt something for me. Would hate to think he didn't care at all about losing me.

Ouch that's a toughy.

Cap moons are typically very reserved and highly cautious in sharing of themselves. So if he did share and really put himself on the line with a sincere apology, that probably took a lot for him. If afterwards he felt like it would only hurt him or you to keep trying, he might just decide to cut things to help the both of you move on. I'm a cancer moon myself though, so maybe some of the Cap moons can chime in better. They tend to be rather short on words comparatively though. 😛

Sun Opposite moon in synastry is difficult. His emotional nature is the inside out version of your ego-nature. That often makes for a lot of great attraction and chemistry, but difficulty when trying to really understand each other's differences. Just give each other time. Things are probably still raw.

If in the future, the possibility to reconnect presents itself, just be VERY certain and clear with your boundaries, i.e. friendship, rekindling or whatever. And be prepared that if he doesn't want the same, he might reject any possibility of staying connected.

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Yah Frost. I guess it probably did take a lot for him. Getting him to open up and talk about how he feels has historically been like extracting a tooth without anaestetic. The thing was, I had good reason to be mad and he knows that.

In itself, our argument, and th two days of him apologising and spilling his guts was probably the most authentic and open he was with me for the entire relationship -which was sad. the rest of the time i felt like we were two bulls fighting in a ring. If I pulled away he chased after me and wnated my attention, if I came closer he had me at arms length like he felt I was was out to get him. I tried very hard to be open and show him how much I liked him but his guard was up SO high he was inpenitrable. He made it difficult for me to continue in a relationship with him because every time we got close, or had a particularly intimate or loving date he would then disappear for a couple of weeks and then come back like nothing happenned. All the while he was talking to other girls, and I knew he was. So while he miht have needed that - it was too much to ask of me. I felt rejected and neglected and probably with good reason - as he was at least considering someone else.

Anyway, I decide to bite the bullet and contact him myself. I'd asked him not to contact me again, so I figured if I hadn't meant what I said I should tell him and let his response me by answer.

So I contacted him and asked how he was. He replied right away that he was ok and asked how I was. He said he felt bad, but that he was distracting himself with work. I told him I missed his friendship and wanted to be friends if he did. He said a clean slate sounded good to him, but he was standoffish. Then he told me "You live and learn, and being with you was incredibly fun. The sex was incredible. I mean, so good I can't believe how good it was".

Which kind of felt like a pretty low blow response. I don't know if that means it was just all about sex for him. I was hoping more for a response of "I miss your freindship too", but he definitely seemed VERY icy and angry and like he didn't want to talk to me - so a big 180 degress turnaround from the guy a couple of weeks ago who would do anything to repair things.

Maybe he just moved on.

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by mistywindows
His moon is in Capricorn.

Yeah, he's gone very, very, very cold. I'd really like to think positively Frost that it's happenned because he needed to heal or felt something for me. Would hate to think he didn't care at all about losing me.

Does he know that he was the only one you were intimate with?

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Yes.

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by mistywindows
His moon is in Capricorn.

Yeah, he's gone very, very, very cold. I'd really like to think positively Frost that it's happenned because he needed to heal or felt something for me. Would hate to think he didn't care at all about losing me.

Does he know that he was the only one you were intimate with?

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I will say this though. He is pretty aware that out of the two of us, I am the popular one. He sees on social media every guy commenting on all my photos, and one for example commenting on my photo today "there's my future wife", and when we were together he was pretty jealous. Every time my phone beeped he would look visibly uncomfortable and ask if it was "another suitor". He knew a lot of people wanted me, so if he was the type to feel inadequate he might have felt a little threatened. I did everything I could to show him I had no interest in anyone else - even showed him my phone which showed me asking guys to leave me alone and that I was seeing someone.

So...yes..hurt a LOT that he was entertaining chat with some other girl, when he knew I wasn't.

But also maybe he doesn't want to see me with someone else, i don't know, could be.

I guess my question really if any Scorpio man can answer...

How does a Scorpio man behave on a breakup with a girl he likes and is sad to lose versus how he behaves over one he is gld to get rid of?

If I am the first type, I would like to make the effort to stay friends and maybe have hope of a future, because I really, really like him.

If I am the second type I will just block him right back and let him go on with his life.

If someone here has to do the ego beding, I am okay with it being me, just not for someone who doesn;t give a crap!

Posted by FrostAndBite
Water signs are self-protective emotionally, you know this, you're a crab. So that explains his shitty behavior inside your relationship, although it doesn't excuse it.

You don't have to try and justify why you broke up with him. I mean the added details paint a better picture for us strangers on the internet. But you don't need to do so to feel right in your decision if that's what you really want. If you really tried to give your best and it didn't help, then it didn't help.

It's sad that he did confess and was authentic with you but that it was too late. I can understand you being so disappointed with that. You were right to ask for space though, and I think you should stick to that. Including head space. So give yourself something to do or look forward to each day that has nothing to do with him, men or relationships so you can have a little freedom each day from analyzing this so much.

Knowing what he's doing or felling or who he's talking to or dating or not dating won't give you closure. Finding peace outside of the relationship will.

Thank you x

Posted by FrostAndBite

Posted by mistywindows
Anyway, I decide to bite the bullet and contact him myself. I'd asked him not to contact me again, so I figured if I hadn't meant what I said I should tell him and let his response me by answer.

So I contacted him and asked how he was. He replied right away that he was ok and asked how I was. He said he felt bad, but that he was distracting himself with work. I told him I missed his friendship and wanted to be friends if he did. He said a clean slate sounded good to him, but he was standoffish. Then he told me "You live and learn, and being with you was incredibly fun. The sex was incredible. I mean, so good I can't believe how good it was".

Which kind of felt like a pretty low blow response. I don't know if that means it was just all about sex for him. I was hoping more for a response of "I miss your freindship too", but he definitely seemed VERY icy and angry and like he didn't want to talk to me - so a big 180 degress turnaround from the guy a couple of weeks ago who would do anything to repair things.

Maybe he just moved on.

omg.

You're sabotaging yourself by doing this. You know that, right?

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No 😢 how?

Posted by tegony

Posted by mistywindows
.

He reacted by sleeping with this girl 😢

I found out about it, and even though we had split up he was really sorry. He just said to me that he enjoyed the attention from her and the ego boost, that he was lonely and afraid of getting close to people and he would do whatever I wanted or needed to repair things. He said he didn't want to lose me etc. I was mad and hurt, especially as he had been texting and communicating with her while dating me, and probably encouraing her attention, and I felt pretty sick over him sleeping with her. I was pretty angry and told him not to contact me again.

To be honest, I really wanted to work it through. I can't help it. I'm in love with the guy but I

As I read above, you are a cancer woman... Cancer women are the only people who can make a scorpio man gasp for air... But, our core of though is similar, so if you manage to remove all this pressure on him, he will be back.

Scorpio man is the guy who will, within 10 minutes of breaking up, hang out with the next girl. Not that he likes her (he has most likely kept contact with her just in case he needs her sometime in the future). A scorpio man has a looot of people around him, even though he looks lonely- and he hides them very well from the others. So, the right moment he knows the person who will give him what he lacks at the time.

Paradox as it may seem, a scorpio man is always willing to get back to you, if you forgive with, given that he still loves you (not only cares- a scorpio man cares for every person he linked to, throughout his life).

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This...take it or leave it. Either you're with him even though what tegony says is true or you leave him alone. Your Scorpio man is never going to be the run of the mill suitor or partner and you'll never have the fairytale life with the white picket fence either. If you do, something else is going on and he's probably living a double life, hiding somethings behind your back. Especially in the beginning phases, things seem like they are so beautiful and real, but that's just the expression of how the Scorpio man feels at the time. Then reality kicks in and whooooaaaaaa....hold on to your seat or you will be thrown for a loop and tossed around. It's much better if you have your own things to do and not so much forget about him as much as focus on the stuff that you want to advance in your life. He'll be back. Now, if you don't WANT that kind of relating to one another, then yes...I suggest you get out now.

Posted by FrostAndBite

Posted by mistywindows
What my Scorpio man did was to chase me, catch me, and then act like a douchebag and when I tried to deal with it he went and slept with someone else and instead of making an effort to make ammends he went and blocked me on everything like I never existed.

How I treated my boyfriend was ice and fire compared to this. No similarity at all. every relationship ends and we move onto the next one. Usually though, a relationship ends because it's not working, not beause someone is too scared to get close to you, and usually when a reationship ends a maure person doesn't need to be putting it in someone else within 6 hours.

Maybe we have diferrent standards

Damnit crab.

I was trying to go to bat for you and help you get a scorp perspective not laced with sarcasm and suspicion and you go and say shit like this. -_-

Technically, your relationship with the Scorp could be theorized as ending because it wasn't working. Him dealing with his fears was not working for you, so you ended it.

You devalue the man and his relationship with you by your need to classify his actions as substandard.

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And this is what I had to STOP doing with my Scorp. F&B. Thank you.

Posted by elllesque

Posted by FrostAndBite

Posted by elllesque
drop the conditions.

"I will do this but only if he does that!"
"I won't do this if he doesn't do that!"

This is also what I meant but my green tea has worn off and I skipped lunch so I'm communicating worse than a sag merc. 😉

hogwash...nobody communicates worse than a sag merc.....except a pisces merc 😛

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I'm a Pisces mercury. lol ha ha ha ha The labels, the stereotypes...Egahds! lol LBVS.

Aaahhhh.....@MissTeeq, thank you so much for that post.

The thing is how am I meant to decide what I want if he doesn't tell me what he feels? Obviously that's kind of important information. If I am just a conquest or a time filler, why waste my time? I have plenty of other options. He tells me he cares about me deeply, but genuinely does not act like it. He acts like I am an emeny or an opponent. This is how it feels. I get being protective, but this is a new level for me. I feel he would rather lose compleletely someone he cares about who makes him happy rather than jump in and take a risk. It; no way to live your life.

He says he is scared he will get hurt. I almost wanted to laugh out loud at this statement. OF COURSE it's going to hurt...almost always does, but avoiding living life isn't the remedy for that. You have to jump in at some point or another, surely? Not that I can change the way he chooses to live - but if this is the way he handles life that's a lot of lost opportunity.

He is like a rollercoaster.

What he said to me when we first started dating was that he was in love only one time in his life (he's 29) and he was with her from age 18 to 25 and she got pregnant by someone else and he was completely torn apart. He had to go to counselling for two years, and has not really been in a close and loving relationship at all since. You know, I get that, but he wantd to date me so I figured he must be capable of it.

All the way through I would tell him he was pushing me away and rejecting me and he'd kind of deny it, like he'd say "don't be silly babe, I like you so much, more than you know. I know I am guarded but believe me when I open up I am the most loving guy in the world", so I would be appeased but he'd keep right on doing stuff that crossed my own boundaries. To me when someone repeats behavior you have told them hurts you -this is a red flag to get the hell out of dodge, but I was torn because he genuinely seemed like he did not want to lose me and I felt there was something amazing underneath. Sexually and physiclly he was SO close to me. those are the times he'd talk, open up, be so affectionate and not want to leave. He'd always be running back to the house in the morning for more kisses. It was hard to think "this guy is jerking me around".

Once it all blew up and he finally opened up to me, he said he can't do the "full thing" because hes scared to ever go back there and feel like that with his previous heartbreak. He says he will address this at some time in the future because he knows it's a problem but that he doesn't want a relationship with me, her or anyone which is why he admits to sabotaging it instead of enjoying it.

He said he was really attracted to me, really liked me and wanted to be with me and that he is lonely and insecure inside and wanted that, but paradoxically that it terified him at the same time becauce he felt like he was going to fall down the hole again, so he says he put up boundaries and blocks between us to keep us apart and keep things casual emotionally. He says he knows being on the recieving end of that must have been pleasant.

you know, it was kind of a no win situation for me from day one, unless I was willing to put up with a commitment phobic guy who was there one day and gone the next and expected me to have the patience of a saint while he got atention from other girls. I guess I had needs and feelings to. But damn it. I am in love with him, which annoys the heck out of me

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by mistywindows

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by mistywindows
His moon is in Capricorn.

Yeah, he's gone very, very, very cold. I'd really like to think positively Frost that it's happenned because he needed to heal or felt something for me. Would hate to think he didn't care at all about losing me.

Does he know that he was the only one you were intimate with?

I will say this though. He is pretty aware that out of the two of us, I am the popular one. He sees on social media every guy commenting on all my photos, and one for example commenting on my photo today "there's my future wife", and when we were together he was pretty jealous. Every time my phone beeped he would look visibly uncomfortable and ask if it was "another suitor". He knew a lot of people wanted me, so if he was the type to feel inadequate he might have felt a little threatened. I did everything I could to show him I had no interest in anyone else - even showed him my phone which showed me asking guys to leave me alone and that I was seeing someone.

So...yes..hurt a LOT that he was entertaining chat with some other girl, when he knew I wasn't.

But also maybe he doesn't want to see me with someone else, i don't know, could be.

Oh - I would never be with a woman with excessive social media.

You wouldn't like that either.

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Being honest, no I wouldn't. But I guess it was early days with us. Our relationship was not public, and if you see my last post this isn;t why he flaked on me.