Why is the world so cruel

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I know we all have to learn from experiences, that we have to strong and become strong but why does it have to hurt so much!

I met and fell in love with a scorpio male about a year ago. I have tried to reason with myself and have went from maybe I hurt him or maybe he wasnt what I believed him to be to all extremes. Today I have just re-lived one of our last times together except this time I've been looking in on this happening to another.

God I feel worse now - I had got my head into thinking he was a waster, someone I was better off without and here it goes again - slap up the face!

I watched this scene today and then thought back to when it happened to me. And the point is he was there - not only there but standing with his arms open. I watched this guy today turn away from the girl and my heart went out to her and I thought if only he had done .... and then I recalled what had happened to me and realised that my scorpio had been there and it had been me who had turned away, not only that but for the next week he had tried to make me see that and even worse still the day he left he begged me to met him to let us have a chance. Gee I dont think anyone can know how I feel - the point is I have loved this person for the last year and now to realise that I done and caused myself this pain it is so hard to take. I tried to contact him and well he did respond but looking back I cant blame him. I know now I must of hurt him big big style - not on purpose but does that make a difference. I dont know why God sent him at that time - I wasnt ready - should of been but wasnt. I should of went with him but was feeling sorry for myself like I am now! Sorry to any readers but I need to get this off my chest! I'm going to wipe my eyes now, blow my nose and pretend all is ok again.
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Unregistered
@Unregistered
20 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 16126 · Topics: 1726
'I dont know why God sent him at that time - I wasnt ready - should of been but wasnt. I should of went with him but was feeling sorry for myself like I am now!'

God didn't send you him! He clearly allows us to do what we want with our own lives. This is the meaning of FREE WILL! Don't want to get to hung up on the particular statement of your post, I would suggest reading the thread topic ' why do they do that'. I think you might find it helpful!

Also, you did what was right for you at that time. Now I hope you give him t the same respect and let him do what he needs to do for now! Everything does not revolve around YOUR schedule! Right? Don't mean to be overly blunt, but that is the way it is! When he is ready he will contact you. I am sure he hasn't forgotten you. We do have very long memories!!!LOL He may have hooked up with someone else? He should at least let you know, if he was a decent man(maybe something happened to him?). Keep asking until you get your answers, and do what is right for you. You sound like you are in alot of pain and the only way you are going to stop it is to have your mind set at ease. If that is what it will take, then by all means do it. Be true to yourself, and don't worry about the outcome. If you don't do what is right for you, then you are in some ways trying to manupiulate the situation. It won't work!

Good Luck