Advice needed I messed up

My Aries/Taurus cusp man and I have been dating for four months. We met last Tuesday to talk about exclusivity. He told me that he is surprised at how deeply he feels for me and talked at length about all the things he likes and sees in me. He said that I have been one surprise after another for him. After continuing on about that and then telling me that our physical relationship has been completely amazing. He tells me that he has been avoiding this conversation because he didn't want to risk losing me. He has been seeing another woman and wants to see where that could go. He asked if I would still see him while he is seeing her.

This man hasn't gotten his divorce papers yet. He is done with his wife but is very angry about all of it. My experience tells me that no matter what woman he is with right now, it won't last. I figured that I would have to let him go and try later when I have a better chance.

So I didn't say what I meant to say! I meant to tell him how I feel and ask him what he thinks we should do. But no, I told him what to do. It just came out of my mouth and I couldn't stop it. I told him that he obviously had feelings for this other person and I think that he should explore that. And why should he keep me around to muddy up the waters. He should go explore his relationship with her, wait until the drama with his divorce calms down, and then CALL ME!

"Muddy up the water" OMG where the h did that come from......

I didn't ask him if he would do that. I couldn't look at him. So I put my sunglasses on and said, "I think I should go!" and I left. Right away he sent me a text that said. If you ever need my help with anything please call me. I'm sorry that it ended this way.

I feel much worse that I thought I would. I'm dying here it's terrible. I thought I would give him some time to miss me and with me gone out of the picture he would realize that he doesn't want this OW. I could contact him in about a month to check in.

Was that last text closing the door and he is done with me. He had a terrible time keeping his hands off me the entire talk. Somewhere in there he told me that he is really stubborn and misses out on things because of it. (what does that mean) If I would have stayed maybe we could have worked it out. I didn't ask him if he is in love with me and I didn't tell him how I feel about him. Is it too late... I swear the guy is head over heels in love with me.

Didn't answer his text, I deleted him from my phone

Cabingirl what you said was fine and you are perfectly right, he should explore his relationship with her.

He's still married if he's not divorced and he for whatever reason kept his options open by dating you and dating someone else and he did not tell you anything about this side chick he had going on behind your back. Only to ask you to be the side chick.

He doesn't sound like a great catch, he sounds like a douchebag to be completely honest.

He's physically into you but he's not emotionally attached to you and because of that he was able to move on to someone else. It has to be a combination of physical, emotional and mental in order for a man to choose to be attached to a woman so although he was all over you physically more than likely he has not developed an emotional mental connection with you.

Do not contact him! He's the one that left therefore he has to be the one to come back willingly in order for you to have a second chance and don't settle for crumbs ie being a side chick, you've already settled by dating a married man and you really don't want him to think you'd settle for being the side chick because if you do he'll never give you a proper relationship filled with mutual respect and love.

WTH— Are you serious? He tells you that he's was seeing another girl aside from you, and on top of that, he's not even divorced from his current wife; yet, you're questioning whether it's over and if you did the right thing? Really? He's an Aries..you may wanna read up on their behavior. No further comment..Good Day.

It helps to know you think I made the right decision. I guess it's hard that he doesn't have a connection to me.

I want nothing more than to call him and try to make this better, but don't see how I can do anything different. Unless, he changes his mind and I don't think he will on his own. You know all that stubborn Taurus and Aries combo.

Okay, the voice of reason! Thank you.

He is the aries/cusp May 20. So I thought he was more Taurus than Aries. I will read up on Aries.

Thanks for the comment.

May 20 wut!?!? If we're talking cusps, May 20 is far from Aries/Taurus. It's Taurus/Gemini.

I wrote the wrong month. He is April 20.

The divorce is final he just doesn't have the paperwork back. I told him at the beginning we should just see where things go and feel that I kept it causual for too long. I didn't tell him how I feel. In fact he told me how he felt much of the time and I didn't reciprocate.

I think he tried to tell me earlier that he was still on line, but he didn't come out and say it. Too bad I didnt communicate with him more at the time instead of running away, as I would have more answers now.

I'd been thinking about the fact that who ever he is with right now will be transitional. If anyone is going to be the transitional relationship I want it to be her. I'd already come to the realization that I had to let him go.

"He tells me that he has been avoiding this conversation because he didn't want to risk losing me. He has been seeing another woman and wants to see where that could go. He asked if I would still see him while he is seeing her." What a pig. So he wants to screw two women at the same time. And you want THAT. You're just settling from crumbs, dissing the sisterhood and enabling the worst behavior of men. If I were you I'd tell him to take a hike. Like Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them." You're waiting in the wings for a pig who prolly won't be faithful to you either. Then again, after what he told you what can you expect? Set the bar higher.

Posted by cheekyfaerie
He respects you or he wouldn't have said anything. You respect yourself enough to remove yourself from the situation. Leaving with your head held high made a better impression on him than agreeing to casually date and you have your dignity intact. Good for you!

If you want another chance with him when he "grows up", I'd say your behavior went a long way towards making that happen. He'll remember you.

Does he respect her or is he seeing if she'll take the bait? I think it's definitely the latter and not the former. Otherwise I agree w/your assessment here.

Posted by cabingirl
I wrote the wrong month. He is April 20.

The divorce is final he just doesn't have the paperwork back. I told him at the beginning we should just see where things go and feel that I kept it causual for too long. I didn't tell him how I feel. In fact he told me how he felt much of the time and I didn't reciprocate.

I think he tried to tell me earlier that he was still on line, but he didn't come out and say it. Too bad I didnt communicate with him more at the time instead of running away, as I would have more answers now.

I'd been thinking about the fact that who ever he is with right now will be transitional. If anyone is going to be the transitional relationship I want it to be her. I'd already come to the realization that I had to let him go.

Well that makes him a ram.

No stay focus on yourself and make a new goal. Never settle for a fwb situation. We can do much better without the heartache and drama. And I am a Taurus female. I don't do drama. I will stay single for that reason you are describing. And work with your goals in life and achieve it. Focus on yourself and move on.