Curious (Page 2)

Im 100% serious.

Its ok. A couple male friends said it cant be taken as disrespectful in every context, but if thats what he wants he wont get it with me so maybe he should move on. lol now if he was willing to backseat it then maybe i jumped the gun.....

Menage a trois? Erm no. Just no. His trois, would become un, because he'd be rocking himself. Dunno about you ladies but I'm farrrr too territorial to even consider another woman anywhere near mah dude in the sack. Sorreh, CuddleCakes here doesn't play that way. He should feel the same way about me too.
A joke is funny, but wrapped in serious to get a reaction, nah. So I wonder if he was trying to gauge if you felt another woman around would make your bum tighten up or if you'd roll with it.

Posted by venusianbull
Dunno about you ladies but I'm farrrr too territorial to even consider another woman anywhere near mah dude in the sack. Sorreh, CuddleCakes here doesn't play that way. He should feel the same way about me too.

I agree 100% . Maybe HE is not done experimenting and does not really know what he wants. Sad, to say the least.

I SO AGREE VB. Thats why I jumped ship. He can have what he wants but I dont want that at ALL. It hurt my feelings too as if on the sly he's trying to say he isnt fulfilled. I was reserved in the convo, joked a little, but I seriously dont plan on talking with him much less seeing him ever again

Yep, and I do understand. I think some things should stay in a persons head, or flip the script. Doubt he'd have been as gung ho about the idea of two men ( EW I know, but shit people don't think sometimes )and sword crossing. 😛

actually I mentioned it and his reply "thats a start"...are you kidding me. Yes I certainly took my leave. He's the story of how a guy goes form sending mixed signals to sending all the wrong ones. And maybe he felt comfy enough to share his fantasies with me and I dont want to fault him for wanting to include me. It certainly lets me see we're on different levels. As old as he is I would have imagined he already had a chance to get it out of his system

Exactly. 'That's a start..'..did he not realize how repellant that statement was? GUH. It's not like any of us aren't up for most anything, but like Intellectual said, there's a line. Just certain crapola one will never feel comfortable doing. ( Random idiotic porn movie stills on rolodex flashing through my brain for some reason..gee I wonder why and what nots ). 😛
My ex ( A Virgo, hyuck hyuck ) was fascinated with the thought of rear end play, I said "You first Hero, you're the one with the prostate." He kind of dropped it after that, SMART.

Grrrr...@ virgos.

rme So I talked to Virguy today and while I was telling him how I felt "dissed" by the proposition I called him "dude". And he goes, "whatever dude" back and Im like "Im not a dude" and he said "neither am I" and I said "umm youre not a dude?" and he goes "just call me by my name!" really snappy, so I said "whoaaa, Im sorry I didnt mean to offend you" and he says "oh, its ok you're fine Ive never liked being called dude but you wouldnt have known that unless I told you or you ASKED"....so now I feel like an ass because he was just asking me a question last night...even if I felt like he would have known me well enough not to even ask it. So good thing I didnt add any bitter nasty words to my departure for I would probably be eating them today....I dont know where the whole "thats a start" crap came from I was kinda stuck on quiet with my foot in my mouth that I didnt bring it up. I will suppose that if he ever mentions a 3some again I will reply "I simply couldnt imagine sharing you with anyone...EVER" and move on.

I did ask some group members on Facebook how they felt about it and the differences of views between men and women on the subject was SO different I think I might write a book about it. All but 1 of the guys was like "lighten up he was sharing a fantasy with you probably gauging his chances, there are men who ask their wives for 3somes" or "its not a matter of respect or disrespect, its a matter of how he acts now" and all the women were like "HELL NO, KICK HIS ASS". It was funny in a way...except when I had to admit that I might have been wrong.

move on with our interaction not move on with someone else

Posted by venusianbull
Now, firstly, this is just my own mental, so if you relate as well, bring it.

I find that for me my mode of delivery isn't that fantastic at times. Say I receive a letter. Surface wise I read it, but underneath grab hold of the emotion of the content and immediately react to that. I have sent and said some scathing things based on MY IMMEDIATE REACTION. Later on when I go back and re-read things in a not so charged atmosphere I layer over and come to grips with things. My immediate reaction is just being hurt. When in this aspect of myself I can feel a cold suit of armor building round, to insulate myself from further pain. At times this has served me well, at others not so much. This is when I sit down and lock down. Respiration high, belly aflutter and Lock & Load. It's not so much wanting to INFLICT pain, it is wanting someone else to see and recognize my own. Action/Reaction. The shit part of this is, it is because I don't open up to many people. When I do I feel it's a gift. When someone hands you a prezzie back, doesn't want it. It sucks. So when slapped, what does one do? Slap back. This is nothing I'm inordinately proud of. As a matter of fact I find it to be one of my very real flaws. I am never quite sure whether to stand up for myself or curl round a stuffed animal in my bed and just weep. Usually it's both. Because letting someone trample all over you just ain't *done*. In all reality I've hurt people. Not cool. It's never been my goal in life, as a matter of fact it's a characteristic of self I'm not fond of.
I think its base root is fear of rejection made reality. I can be given 500 reasons as to the why, but when you simmer it all down the end point is the same. You have all this confusion howling inside of you. You can't see the sense of it. Yeh, well sometimes there is NO sense to things. No rhyme, no reason. Or at least none to be had from your own viewpoint. So, what do you do? Make yourself crazy with it. Analyze, think deep thoughts, listen to a lot of tunes. Work your ass off. Hope. Dream. Pray. That you become a better person, best you can be. Even when everything is going wrong, to at least be right inside. To let your light shine. Even when you're a bit of a nutter with heaps of insecurity at times. Shine on.

I am afraid my dear, that you are really a venusian ram🙂

I read the

letter, then draft my reply. DO NOT SEND THE REPLY.

Then go do something else for a while, maybe even for a day before coming back and re-reading everything and adjusting my reply acordingly.
It is important though, to write that first draft with your gut. Your gut knows more than we ever give it credit for.


**Nothing wrong with being a little crazy. Would you really want to be just like everyone else?
Really?

NOPE! I'm loved just as I stand. And it sho' is fine. Want to kick my own arse up round my ears from time to time...but hey ho. 🙂 I am verrrrah much Aries, and I dig it heaps.

Posted by 25thDecan
To clarify..my crass "show me lesbianiism" jokes aren't serious. That isn't quite part of how I fantasize the bullettes I run into. Oh no...mine are much more personal and um....well....the avi smile is too wide for the one now....

I definitely took/take no offense. I have TONS o'male friends, and with 85% of them - girl on girl action is ALWAYS a source of joy and hopeful optimism for them 🙂 LOL. I love my men, but that doesn't mean that I don't think tons of women are beautiful, sexy, hot, but I'm comfortable in my sexuality, so by finding another woman attractive doesn't mean anything to me - personally, but everybody is different, and it can make some people uncomfortable. To that point, I wouldn't be sharing my man with somebody else; voluntarily that is...since we know some men are prone to cheat...and there isn't anything you can do about that, short of babysitting, and I'm NOT a babysitter. Either the person wants to be with you or they don't. Period. And if not, then they can bounce. Life is too short to be worrying about what somebody else is doing. I can only take care of myself.

*tangent over *

*clapping* Well said!

Excellent advice too RNAP for hotheaded letter writing. Go back and think "No, I didn't mean that...oh Lord, certainly not THAT..ah hell." EDIT!

Because she's a curious monkey that self analyzes forever and a day.

And she also shreds apart and critiques every single photo. Bleeeearrrrrrrrgh. Oy vey. Dios mio. Meine Gott im Himmel. Mon Dieu. 😛

Analyzing yourself isnt a bad thing, looking back and overreactions isnt a bad thing. Critiquing photos isnt bad either. Holding yourself to an unrealistic standard is. Youre lovely,and humanly flawed, accept it. 🙂

Im working on the same thing and after yesterday I was convinced that I simply SUCK at dealing with other people. I went off the deep end, but in the end, I learned not to be so hard or others or myself...*huggs*

I blame my Virgo Lilith.😛 I am flawed, I do accept me for me. I am acutely aware that I am human with faults. Everyone is. What I do, what I've always done.. is try to break down and analyze/assimilate each and every one. A personal growth type deal. On the flip side this means I am extremely hypercritical of me.
LOL About the pics.. I will take a picture and think "Time to get your brows done, WHOA you're pale, need lotion there you're flaky, need to shed a few, blah blah." It's quite rare I see a picture of myself and think "NICE." I know I'm not a Golem, that's not it. Just fussy is all. *shrug*

I will gladly take the hugs though. And give 'em spang back. 🙂

Posted by venusianbull
I blame my Virgo Lilith.😛 I am flawed, I do accept me for me. I am acutely aware that I am human with faults. Everyone is. What I do, what I've always done.. is try to break down and analyze/assimilate each and every one. A personal growth type deal. On the flip side this means I am extremely hypercritical of me.
LOL About the pics.. I will take a picture and think "Time to get your brows done, WHOA you're pale, need lotion there you're flaky, need to shed a few, blah blah." It's quite rare I see a picture of myself and think "NICE." I know I'm not a Golem, that's not it. Just fussy is all. *shrug*

I will gladly take the hugs though. And give 'em spang back. 🙂

Now bloody stop that.

You are gorgeous.

Yes'm. *meekly folding hands and placing them in lap*

The middle way ***
Valid during many months: This can be an extremely challenging period, because you feel that everything you try to do is blocked by circumstances or opposed by others. You may feel angry, but you have no obvious outlet for your anger, so you are left boiling over inside and seething with frustration. And there is no doubt that your actions are very closely circumscribed at this time. People who are important in directing your life - parents, employers, officials - may be a serious source of trouble at this time.

You may feel tempted to lash out against the forces that seem to be conspiring against you, but this is probably not a good idea. They will probably prove too strong for you. Instead of rebelling and fighting, it would be better to wait and in the meantime find some outlet for your pent- up energy. Hard work, physical activity, and concentrated effort will help dispel the energy build-up that may accompany this influence. However, take reasonable precautions in whatever you do along these lines.

It is not a good idea simply to hold in your feelings, even though it seems futile to let them out. The stored-up energy within you provokes responses from others and from your environment in very subtle ways, which can lead to even greater problems. You can conceivably become the victim of your own violent feelings, and this can happen in very subtle, unconscious ways. So you have to find the middle road between lashing out violently and holding all your anger in.

Thank you Fusion. In moments of great rage that is when this Cow hies for the outdoors. Where I can scream to the heavens and have it only result in large steaming pellet piles left by the local wildlife. I could make many jokes about throwing things, heaving pots and pans or making great holes in plaster and lathe, but it's not accurate. Trust me when I say my ire is completely justified 90% of the time. I'm hot headed, I'm hard headed. I am also my own worst critic. What keeps me on the easy peasy, go greasy program is honesty. Loads of it. Bomb blasts are imminent on occasion from anyone.

Posted by venusianbull
Thank you Fusion. In moments of great rage that is when this Cow hies for the outdoors. Where I can scream to the heavens and have it only result in large steaming pellet piles left by the local wildlife. I could make many jokes about throwing things, heaving pots and pans or making great holes in plaster and lathe, but it's not accurate. Trust me when I say my ire is completely justified 90% of the time. I'm hot headed, I'm hard headed. I am also my own worst critic. What keeps me on the easy peasy, go greasy program is honesty. Loads of it. Bomb blasts are imminent on occasion from anyone.

yes much of that energy needs to be redirected in a positive outlet. Some physical activity preferably outdoors, in a gym, or on paper. But is honesty that hard to come by for the 90% ? I'll drop that megaton if someone is deserving...

No, I'm quite honest with how I feel as a rule. I keep my temper on a very tight leash. When I unleash the Kraken it is NOT pretty. If I'm burbling along, everything is cool. I go quiet, someone best watch themself. I started this thread because the Ice Queen came to the fore and I leveled on someone I care very deeply about. It was unfair, highly so. It made me stop and think about what triggers me as an individual. I've went through some highly life changing shit. Divorce, loss of my youngest daughter, shift from homemaker to handling everything..and sometimes you just want to howl at that bright moon in the night sky. Not making excuses for myself, just laying it all out there. I'm an extremely mellow individual believe it or not, but like any other human I can certainly work on me. If I were not honest I'd not have brought it to light at all. A bit of bravery and admitting that I was a shit heel. More than once too. To do that to someone that makes me feel wonderful did NOT set right. I set forth kicking my own ass over it, and far worse than anyone else could manage the job certainly.

Awww thank you Star. 🙂

😄

I like playing with pictures. 🙂 Crop, frame, put a few stickers on it. Voila.