
SagittariusXO
@sagittariusxo
8 YearsSagittarius
Comments: 9 · Posts: 455 · Topics: 38



Posted by LadyNeptune
I would ask him to go house shopping with me. Instead of asking him to move in. Exactly what I did actually and it played out nicely.
Like leading a horse to water.

Posted by Impulsv
Nice way to pressure
But you are in your right to know if your goals are the same
Seems like it’s not




Posted by sagittariusxoPosted by LadyNeptune
I would ask him to go house shopping with me. Instead of asking him to move in. Exactly what I did actually and it played out nicely.
Like leading a horse to water.
that's a great Idea... and its definitely something I want him to be apart of because I want to share my excitement. this is a proud moment for me and deep down I want him to be impressed and proud as well. sometimes TIME really ticks me because I know I just have to allow time and the unknown to play out but I really hate being unprepared.
click to expand

Posted by Ariqua
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance


Posted by Ariqua
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance

Posted by Boots1313Posted by Ariqua
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
I work 20 miles from where I live. My boyfriend is 20 miles from there....its a 40 minute round trip....doesn't seem awful tbhclick to expand

Posted by VenusAquarius
I really don't see any problems here... at all.
Girl, get your life, get a lil dick, take care of your baby, and keep it moving. What?

Posted by bkbella86
This dude has been dragging his feet from jump.
I would end it.


Posted by sagittariusxoPosted by Boots1313Posted by Ariqua
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
I work 20 miles from where I live. My boyfriend is 20 miles from there....its a 40 minute round trip....doesn't seem awful tbh
I suppose it wouldn't be that bad.
it would just be harder. his hour are opposite of mine. I have a child and weekly routine with him
I don't know. I just feel like we would see eachother less. I mean I live 3 miles from him now so its nice he can come over in be there in 5 minutes. if I am with him and need something from my place its not a issue. its just the feeling of going backwards.click to expand
Posted by sagittariusxoPosted by bkbella86
This dude has been dragging his feet from jump.
I would end it.
that's just his personality. he isn't a optimistic person. he is always concerned about the negative what ifs then the positive what ifs and doesn't really push for change.
but he is a good man and makes me very happy and yeah..... im not ending it for something like this. that's too easy.click to expand

Posted by bkbella86Posted by sagittariusxoPosted by bkbella86
This dude has been dragging his feet from jump.
I would end it.
that's just his personality. he isn't a optimistic person. he is always concerned about the negative what ifs then the positive what ifs and doesn't really push for change.
but he is a good man and makes me very happy and yeah..... im not ending it for something like this. that's too easy.
He never seems excited about your future together based on what you post.click to expand

Posted by Boots1313Posted by sagittariusxoPosted by Boots1313Posted by Ariqua
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
I work 20 miles from where I live. My boyfriend is 20 miles from there....its a 40 minute round trip....doesn't seem awful tbh
I suppose it wouldn't be that bad.
it would just be harder. his hour are opposite of mine. I have a child and weekly routine with him
I don't know. I just feel like we would see eachother less. I mean I live 3 miles from him now so its nice he can come over in be there in 5 minutes. if I am with him and need something from my place its not a issue. its just the feeling of going backwards.
As my grandmother said " If there's a will there is a way". It's going to be a test but if you guys survive it or I'd you don't...there is your answer. Sometimes you just have to relinquish some control and let the universe/life just do...click to expand

Posted by Boots1313Posted by sagittariusxoPosted by Boots1313Posted by Ariqua
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
I work 20 miles from where I live. My boyfriend is 20 miles from there....its a 40 minute round trip....doesn't seem awful tbh
I suppose it wouldn't be that bad.
it would just be harder. his hour are opposite of mine. I have a child and weekly routine with him
I don't know. I just feel like we would see eachother less. I mean I live 3 miles from him now so its nice he can come over in be there in 5 minutes. if I am with him and need something from my place its not a issue. its just the feeling of going backwards.
As my grandmother said " If there's a will there is a way". It's going to be a test but if you guys survive it or I'd you don't...there is your answer. Sometimes you just have to relinquish some control and let the universe/life just do...click to expand

Posted by sagittariusxoPosted by Boots1313Posted by sagittariusxoPosted by Boots1313Posted by Ariqua
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
I work 20 miles from where I live. My boyfriend is 20 miles from there....its a 40 minute round trip....doesn't seem awful tbh
I suppose it wouldn't be that bad.
it would just be harder. his hour are opposite of mine. I have a child and weekly routine with him
I don't know. I just feel like we would see eachother less. I mean I live 3 miles from him now so its nice he can come over in be there in 5 minutes. if I am with him and need something from my place its not a issue. its just the feeling of going backwards.
As my grandmother said " If there's a will there is a way". It's going to be a test but if you guys survive it or I'd you don't...there is your answer. Sometimes you just have to relinquish some control and let the universe/life just do...
Awwww Grandma - she is a smart lady
this is so true. and something I need to tell myself more often.
when it comes to big things like my future and my time I have serious control issues.
but the best thing is just get you feet on the ground and take life as it comes....
never as easy tho.click to expand



Posted by LadyNeptune
Best case senerio he moves in and helps with mortgage and you guys continue on.
Worst case senerio he loses his job or breaks up with you and stops paying his half. House goes into foreclosure and you lose the last 10-15 years of equity you had put from the old house into the new.

Posted by Boots1313Posted by sagittariusxoPosted by Boots1313Posted by sagittariusxoPosted by Boots1313Posted by Ariqua
Will 25 miles away really make that much difference? I wouldn’t consider that long distance
I work 20 miles from where I live. My boyfriend is 20 miles from there....its a 40 minute round trip....doesn't seem awful tbh
I suppose it wouldn't be that bad.
it would just be harder. his hour are opposite of mine. I have a child and weekly routine with him
I don't know. I just feel like we would see eachother less. I mean I live 3 miles from him now so its nice he can come over in be there in 5 minutes. if I am with him and need something from my place its not a issue. its just the feeling of going backwards.
As my grandmother said " If there's a will there is a way". It's going to be a test but if you guys survive it or I'd you don't...there is your answer. Sometimes you just have to relinquish some control and let the universe/life just do...
Awwww Grandma - she is a smart lady
this is so true. and something I need to tell myself more often.
when it comes to big things like my future and my time I have serious control issues.
but the best thing is just get you feet on the ground and take life as it comes....
never as easy tho.
I hear you 100% I have to constantly yell myself the same.
You'll be fine. I have faith in you too. I dont k ow although ita not always simple I admire your relationship from a far.click to expand

Posted by sagittariusxoPosted by LadyNeptune
Best case senerio he moves in and helps with mortgage and you guys continue on.
Worst case senerio he loses his job or breaks up with you and stops paying his half. House goes into foreclosure and you lose the last 10-15 years of equity you had put from the old house into the new.
gurrrrllll..... omg god.
I was driving to pick up my son on sunday and I had to turn off the music and talk my self down from a really anxious moment because of that exact scenario. I don't want to depend on anyone, ive made it this far on my own, and proud of that but also I want help so bad, I mean don't we all, I want him to be the one so bad, I want it all to work out so bad but I cant let myself be dependent on that like you said.
at this point im just going to keep renting. and sit on my money until im ready to buy and live no different then ive been
I cant handle all the stress...
but good news is that in all this time and stress the past few days my bull has been saying thing that include him in. helping me problem solve my situation by include the option of us living together now, or in a year. and that's been nice.
I did take advised that I should include him in the purchase process, like looking at all the house in the MLSN portal thing and he has been making comment on what he needs and whats best for us with my son. so those have been affirming action without him saying point blank.
click to expand

Posted by DMV
1. Dont ever buy a home outside of your financial means. If your plan is for it to be you and your son, stick to that plan.
2. Dont put your life on hold for anyone. Especially not someone who giving you the slow no designed as maybes.
3. Dont push people into a financial commitment. Assets are a big deal. Why would you wanna push someone into a mortgage that they dont want. No one wants to be married to a mortgage.
4. 25 miles ain't sh.it. if its important to you, you/him make the effort.
5. Dont play push/pull games.
6. Who matters to you more? Your son and his relationship with his dad or your relationship with your boyfriend.

Posted by sagittariusxoPosted by bkbella86Posted by sagittariusxoPosted by bkbella86
This dude has been dragging his feet from jump.
I would end it.
that's just his personality. he isn't a optimistic person. he is always concerned about the negative what ifs then the positive what ifs and doesn't really push for change.
but he is a good man and makes me very happy and yeah..... im not ending it for something like this. that's too easy.
He never seems excited about your future together based on what you post.
You are right.
yeah, I can see how you could think that. he honest never seems excited about anything even the things that should make anyone really excited.... but he is SO controlled all the time. I personally hardly ever know if he is mad, sad, annoyed, content. not emotionally expressive unless drunk lol (which is something I know but is hard to grasp at times because im so different. im excited about everything, like a kid in a candy story excited. it written all over my face and my actions. and it doesn't take much to excited me. the fact that I know this about him but still is always a challenge to grasp in the moments.
that is were I think times come in. I feel all these things and I want answers right away but I know that in time he shows him self in actions. he expresses him self in random moments. or I completely call him out, like I do most of the time and he looks at me like he expects me to have known the answer the entire time. (it goes without saying)
we are such a mess of signs trying to make this work but still be so different in nature.
this was a couple days ago tho and a lot has obviously changed because I cant keep my big mouth shut.
click to expand
Posted by DMV
1. Dont ever buy a home outside of your financial means. If your plan is for it to be you and your son, stick to that plan.
2. Dont put your life on hold for anyone. Especially not someone who giving you the slow no designed as maybes.
3. Dont push people into a financial commitment. Assets are a big deal. Why would you wanna push someone into a mortgage that they dont want. No one wants to be married to a mortgage.
4. 25 miles ain't sh.it. if its important to you, you/him make the effort.
5. Dont play push/pull games.
6. Who matters to you more? Your son and his relationship with his dad or your relationship with your boyfriend.

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anyways, I am selling my home in a different city and im going to be using the money to buy another home. I want to buy a larger home then my 900sq 2bed 2 bath that my son and I live in now. (yard, garage, 3 bedroom) I want to establish new roots and create a home for us again.. this has been a goal of mine since I became a single mother and 5 years later her I am.
anyways. its been depressing thought tho because I am either going to have to move 25 miles from my bull or im going to need him to get on board with me. Every time I have asked my bull if he would want to move in with me he says "I don't know, maybe". I have never wanted to push him to do something he doesn't want, and im understanding at his slow process when it comes to change. but him saying "I don't know, maybe" is so much worse then saying "im not ready yet" because its so inconsiderate to me. like he doesn't even think about it.
anyways fast forward to 6 month later ... im going to buy a house.
A. I buy a home in the area we both currently live and work, that is more expensive for the amount of home I want. which would be great but I would need a roommate AKA him to split the "rent" and jump on board to this commitment to live together.
B. I move further away from him, and closer to my sons dad (for the sake of my son) where homes the size I want are more affordable for me but that will obviously take a toll on my relationship because then we will be moving backwards. I wont be close enough to see him the way I do now especially with our differences in work times
I mentioned this to him. and I told him it makes me upset to think about because I don't want him and I to move in unless that's what he wants. and he said to me
"I don't know if that's something I want"
in my head I feel like he is settling for something right now when it comes to me. I feel like he is wasting my precious time. he doesn't know if this is something he wants after 2 years is a hard think to wrap my head around because I always know what I do and do not want. It hurts my feelings. I doubt his intentions. I doubt the relationship. I kinda want out if he doesn't want this.
is that wrong of me?
am I a quitter?
all im saying is apart of me wants to start the push process... the sag process of where I slowly start making my self unavailable or start making more plans that don't include time with him which will eventually just push us further apart until it ends less painfully I suppose then just getting hot headed and breaking up now.
or ..... well that's pretty much it right now because im angry and sad and pretty resentful currently
Taurus men what do you think is going on with my bull.
ladies, what would you do if you were me?