Help

My beautiful bullsss,I need some advice.

I work at the front desk at a hotel & there is an older woman who runs our breakfast, she's a Taurus.
I have been here 3 years this year. She's been here like 20, literally.
I absolutely respect & adore her, she's always upbeat and friendly. Guests love her, everybody loves her.

She was always very nice to me, seemed to like me too. Until recently..........
She was always bringing me breakfast, asking me if I needed anything, chatting with me, etc. and then just a week ago she stopped...and when I go over there to get some coffee I say hi and ask her how she is doing, try to make conversation, and she's very short with me - almost mumbles. :/

She's always had her "moods" she gets in where she's like that to everyone. But lately that's how she treats me ALWAYS.
Plus, I'm not dumb, I can sense when someone has a problem with me. Her behavior towards me has completely changed. I just don't know why? Nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

THEN this morning, our maintenance director, (an Aqua who is almost the same age as my grandpa, and has kids older than me,) comes up here and tells me that the Taurus pulled him aside this morning and told him he needs to stay away from the front desk becasue he's a married man and it looks bad that he's always up here talking to me - people will "think" things.

OK now, while I respect her opinion, after all she is rather old school...she thinks any man who talks to her is hitting on her, and takes everything anyone says VERY literally...I think she has developed some sort of problem with me and is cleverly disguising it as she's just "looking out" for the Aqua.

Now, yes me and the Aqua are "friends" despite the age gap. He is probably one of the few I will keep in touch with after I leave here. Especially since I'm going to his favorite college football teams rival school and I'll be calling him when we whoop their asses. 😛 PLUS he hates our GM just as much as me, which is really all we have in common, and all we talk about (besides the news and other old people stuff.)

There is NO inappropriate conversation or flirting going on WHATSOEVER. He's like my grandpa. & I wouldn't even joke like that with him, that's creepy.

I'm kind of put off and offended that she would say that. It's like she must think I'm some kind of homewrecking whore and can't be trusted. Why the sudden change of heart about me? You know?
(cont...)

Anyways, the Aqua is over there talking to her like 80% of the day, literally. He cuts up with her more than anyone else. & he jokes with her inappropriately alllllll the time, and she jokes right back.

There's an obvious double-standard. My first thought is she is jealous of the attention not being on her when he's talking to me....but I don't want to think like that. I could easily be both their granddaughters. There is no need for that.

At the same time, before me a few years ago there was another girl who worked at the FD who was a real attention whore and caused a lot of problems. She flirted with all the men, including the Aqua....was sleeping with the manager at the time...was very catty to the other women...is dating our GM now (what a joke, lol)
& in the conversation the Tau had with the Aqua this morning she told him I was "just like her"

Not fucking even! She knows nothing about me, I really mostly keep to myself.
All she knows is I'm quiet, I've been seeing the same guy (they all know him - he always comes in to take me to lunch) since I've worked here, I work a lot and study and go to school.

I've never done anything to give ANYONE, especially anyone at work, the impression I am anything like that girl.

Now I'm just pissed she's talking about me & trying to turn people against me.

I don't know what to do. 😢

I don't think that is exactly the same kind of situation?

But thanks for the advice. 🙂 I will stay away from her for sure...but I don't know if that's going to change anything. She'll still do what she's going to do and say whatever she's going to say. I just find her extremely irrational and hypocritical.
The way she jokes with the Aqua and other maint. staff, one which is younger than me...is totally inappropriate and could be considered sexual harrassment.

The way I talk to the Aqua is purely in a friendly conversational way...we joke...talk about our families, talk about the news, talk shit about our boss (lol) It's a completely innocent relationship and it pisses me off that she would twist it and perverse it in her mind. He's like 65!!!!!!!!! ffs

I just wish I knew what her motive was. I am hoping another Bull can give me a different perspective so I can see where she's coming from maybe?

Though I doubt she's coming from anywhere good.

I'm seriously offended (my feelings are almost hurt actually) that she would say that about me.
I've never given anyone a reason to.

Oh. & I can't confront her or say anything about it to her because the Aqua asked me not to

When I read this, I assumed as you did that the Taurus was jealous of your friendship with the Aqua and in fact it seems that is the case. It is very immature and unfair of her to assume that you are the same type of person as your predecessor.

I don't know about this Taurus woman, but the direct approach works the best with me. If someone has a problem with me, I'd much rather have them confront me. Even if the confrontation upset me, I would respect the person for having the courage to do so. But, that's just me.

I can understand why the Aqua doesn't want you to confront the Taurus. Because then she would know that he had told you things she had told him in confidence. However, if you are to rectify the situation and work with these people everyday, you must talk to her about her issue with you. You never know, it could actually work out for the best and bring you some peace.

I myself may not like the truth sometimes, but after presented with logic and reason, I accept it rather quickly and move on.

Good luck hun!

Thanks 🙂

We'll see what happens. If it continues I will probably end up bringing it up to her. I'll try to do it in a light and breezy way. Not too confrontational where she feels threatened or anything.

I respect & like her a lot, I don't want to have beef with her.... I just think she's really acting ridiculous

Bfay,I agree with taurusgirl in everything she says.
I think probably she has a thing for the Aqua....she knows it's wrong,and she's projecting it on to you.
it's probably not so much about you,as it is them...and her possessiveness.
she will most likely feel better if she doesn't see you talking to him alot right now...which I know is ridiculous...but just sayin'.just until she gets over how she feels right now,and she will.
she may not have realized she has a thing for him until just now...but my bet is it will pass.
and I also agree,you should just ask her about it.just say something like "so,you don't love me any more?" or "have I offended you some how?"
usually,even if we don't admit it...that's enough to make us realize we are not behaving properly and you actually care.

just watch what you say about her to the Aqua...because he'll probably tell her,just like he told you. 😉

you Sag girls are so outgoing,and most of us are not....so maybe she feels threatened by that right now.maybe her planets are in a bunch lately? 😉
whatever it is,I'm sure underneath it all she's as fond of you as you are her...she's just got an issue of her own right now.

Posted by BellatheBull
Bfay,I agree with taurusgirl in everything she says.
I think probably she has a thing for the Aqua....she knows it's wrong,and she's projecting it on to you.
it's probably not so much about you,as it is them...and her possessiveness.
she will most likely feel better if she doesn't see you talking to him alot right now...which I know is ridiculous...but just sayin'.just until she gets over how she feels right now,and she will.
she may not have realized she has a thing for him until just now...but my bet is it will pass.
and I also agree,you should just ask her about it.just say something like "so,you don't love me any more?" or "have I offended you some how?"
usually,even if we don't admit it...that's enough to make us realize we are not behaving properly and you actually care.

just watch what you say about her to the Aqua...because he'll probably tell her,just like he told you. 😉

you Sag girls are so outgoing,and most of us are not....so maybe she feels threatened by that right now.maybe her planets are in a bunch lately? 😉
whatever it is,I'm sure underneath it all she's as fond of you as you are her...she's just got an issue of her own right now.

♥ thanks bbymama
How's the precious grandbaby? 😄

Yeah I think she was just having a catty moment, and now you've all basically validated the jealousy thing.
I think you're right...he talks to her a lot too and spends a lot of time in the housekeeping supervisors office shooting the shit too. That's never been a concern for her. She only says something about him talking to me because of my age and the way I look. I can't help either of those. Butttt she'll get over it, like you said. 🙂

In the meantime, I will just keep it short with the Aqua, act busy or whatever.

🙂

Posted by brianafay

Posted by BellatheBull
Bfay,I agree with taurusgirl in everything she says.
I think probably she has a thing for the Aqua....she knows it's wrong,and she's projecting it on to you.
it's probably not so much about you,as it is them...and her possessiveness.
she will most likely feel better if she doesn't see you talking to him alot right now...which I know is ridiculous...but just sayin'.just until she gets over how she feels right now,and she will.
she may not have realized she has a thing for him until just now...but my bet is it will pass.
and I also agree,you should just ask her about it.just say something like "so,you don't love me any more?" or "have I offended you some how?"
usually,even if we don't admit it...that's enough to make us realize we are not behaving properly and you actually care.

just watch what you say about her to the Aqua...because he'll probably tell her,just like he told you. 😉

you Sag girls are so outgoing,and most of us are not....so maybe she feels threatened by that right now.maybe her planets are in a bunch lately? 😉
whatever it is,I'm sure underneath it all she's as fond of you as you are her...she's just got an issue of her own right now.

— thanks bbymama
How's the precious grandbaby? 😄

Yeah I think she was just having a catty moment, and now you've all basically validated the jealousy thing.
I think you're right...he talks to her a lot too and spends a lot of time in the housekeeping supervisors office shooting the shit too. That's never been a concern for her. She only says something about him talking to me because of my age and the way I look. I can't help either of those. Butttt she'll get over it, like you said. 🙂

In the meantime, I will just keep it short with the Aqua, act busy or whatever.

click to expand

Granbaby is adorable,just like her granny. 😉
they are here for a week long visit...YYYAAAAYYY!!!

and this is all because you are so damn sexay.you need to hobo it up a little,stop bathing and brushing your hair and teeth for awhile!
all for the sake of the bull of course 😛 *snort*

Posted by venusianbull
🙂

what is this?!?! You have nothing left to say - they said it all?

Posted by brianafay

Posted by venusianbull
🙂

what is this?!?! You have nothing left to say - they said it all?

click to expand

LOL! I can see Brianafay there with a pout on her cute lil face!
Actually, they really did say it all. I will only add two things. First, I agree with the others that I prefer to just discuss the situation and work it out too; HOWEVER, I realize that doesn't always happen, and I will admit there have been a few situations where I wanted to confront a person, but was advised against doing so as I would "rock the boat" (mutual friends, business associates, etc, would have been involved), so I just would give the person the cold shoulder. I don't like that option at all, as I prefer s@ $ t in the open, but the reality is, a lot of people can't handle it.
So, second, what I would recommend in this case, since it's been brought up that the Aqua would likely tell what you've said to him, play it in your favor. You've heard the expression, "Kill them with kindness." Well, flip the script on her. Say, ONLY nice things to the Aqua about her, and when you see her, hold your ground and be sickeningly nice to her where it will make her teeth hurt 🙂well, not quite that bad, but you get my drift. Initially my first response was going to be "F@ck her, you aren't doing anything wrong." But, I realize you work there, and will be for awhile longer, so you need to have it as easy on yourself as possible, so I understand not rocking the boat...I do get that.
And yes, she's jealous, and it's disheartening that someone of her age would be acting that way, but it goes to show that some people are just immature and small minded. I never understand this jealousy thing. It's sad.

LOL!! I'm sorry Bri, but I think the other ladies covered the waterfront. That was my "Yes" smiley, cos I wuvs mah knicker wearing, coffee sipping Saggie.

And what USC said too! 🙂

^^^🙂 @ VB

😄

Posted by USCTaurusGal

Posted by brianafay

Posted by venusianbull
🙂

what is this?!?! You have nothing left to say - they said it all?

LOL! I can see Brianafay there with a pout on her cute lil face!
Actually, they really did say it all. I will only add two things. First, I agree with the others that I prefer to just discuss the situation and work it out too; HOWEVER, I realize that doesn't always happen, and I will admit there have been a few situations where I wanted to confront a person, but was advised against doing so as I would "rock the boat" (mutual friends, business associates, etc, would have been involved), so I just would give the person the cold shoulder. I don't like that option at all, as I prefer s@ $ t in the open, but the reality is, a lot of people can't handle it.
So, second, what I would recommend in this case, since it's been brought up that the Aqua would likely tell what you've said to him, play it in your favor. You've heard the expression, "Kill them with kindness." Well, flip the script on her. Say, ONLY nice things to the Aqua about her, and when you see her, hold your ground and be sickeningly nice to her where it will make her teeth hurt 🙂well, not quite that bad, but you get my drift. Initially my first response was going to be "F@ck her, you aren't doing anything wrong." But, I realize you work there, and will be for awhile longer, so you need to have it as easy on yourself as possible, so I understand not rocking the boat...I do get that.
And yes, she's jealous, and it's disheartening that someone of her age would be acting that way, but it goes to show that some people are just immature and small minded. I never understand this jealousy thing. It's sad.

click to expand

🙂 thanks

I haven't treated her any different and the only response I gave the Aqua was a shoulder shrug....then sat there and stewed about it of course 😛

& thanks VB too 😄

Got your back Bri. 😄

I called the Libra at lunch and told him. I was all upset about it still

His response: *laughter* whatever. People have too much time on their hands...

Indeed 🙂

Just so. 🙂 Gooooood Libra *patting his head*.

Posted by venusianbull
Got your back Bri. 😄

Ditto 🙂 Tell them they don't want your African-American sista' coming out there to whoop up on their a $ $ es. It can be done 😉

Hollaaaaa!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Your crackah sister too!

Posted by venusianbull
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Your crackah sister too!

ROFLMBAO!!!!!!

BWAHAHAHAAA! ROFLMWAO. —

LOL too funny...she's a sista too, from Louisiana. 🙂

I want her on my good side, she's a firecracker

she doesn't like you. no offense.

Haha I wouldn't be offended that she doesn't like me, afterall I thought that was pretty obviously my point. 🙂

She's back to talking to me like normal btw. She brought me breakfast this morning and was over here talking to me about some guest for almost 10 minutes.

I wonder if she started to feel bad. I've been nothing but nice to her since then. Kill em with kindnessss 😛
I don't go out of my way to talk to her or anything, but I say hi and am still friendly.

Awww...that's great Briana! Glad to hear things are starting to work out. I've been very lucky working in IT that most all of my co-workers are men. They simply do not behave like that. It's refreshing actually.

Posted by taurusgirl78
Awww...that's great Briana! Glad to hear things are starting to work out. I've been very lucky working in IT that most all of my co-workers are men. They simply do not behave like that. It's refreshing actually.

Sounds like it!

I had a class like that. I was the only female. It was a beautiful thing. N

Men are great.

It is a beautiful thing! I could be my typical bossy bullish self and they would gentlemen and let me have my way. Of course, I was also very possessive of "my men". They knew it and loved it! 😉

You know it. 😉