hugs from my doctor (Taurus man)!

Hello everyone, I am an innocent Capricorn woman who was lately attracted to a Taurus man (in his 40s). I guess despite his innocent and shy appearance he was not like that at all. I never had such a freaky experience before. He was my gynaecologist/sexual therapist. Unfortunately I have this huge dsyfunctionality in that domain of life 😢 When I met him for the first time in his office I thought 'what a great man, how lucky must be his partner'. He seemed so nice, understanding, caring. We clicked. He was exactly reading my mind during the conversation. When I had difficulty to answer his questions, he was just guessing exactly and putting my fears into words (even better than myself). I quickly opened my mind to him and shared with him my most intimate thoughts and feelings. I told him that I had an awkward problem: that I was frequently attracted to inappropriate people (esp. of authority) who seemed 'unreachable' and I was trying very badly to avoid them. Which I was very successful at: escape! While he was treating me (applying cognitive-behavioral therapy and I was lying half-naked in front of him) after each session he was touching casually my arm or holding very subtly my hand. He told me that he found me very interesting (as a patient) and I was like a living evidence for Freud's theory. He asked me to write about my feelings, thoughts, and dreams. As I was closing my eyes during the sessions, once he told me to open them and why I opened my eyes I saw his warm and tender look at me. As he was showing subtle interest to me, unsurprisingly I started to feel attracted to him. He was the authority and he was protective etc.
Later he casually started talking about his wife and his baby. So, I thought that I did not need to avoid him since a relationship was impossible between the two of us. When I met him for the last time in order to pay his check, I gave him my diary and wanted to go out. But he asked me to stay and keep talking. He said that he was grateful for having my diary and he would always keep my diary. He made it clear that although he was keeping other patients' notes in his office, he was gonna take my diary to his home. I felt great sympathy but as I am a capricorn, I am very very reserved. So, I just smiled and said ok. Then, he asked me about my relationship with my partner. I told him how my partner was insensitive to my needs, how he was not doing the effort etc. He then told me to consider separation. (continuing below)

(continues) He asked me if I had lovers before my partner (who is inexperienced like me). I told him no. So, he said 'I've felt it'. In a shy way (or trying to look shy) he suggested me that it would be great for me to be with an experienced man and started to talk about surrogate partners who teach people how to sex. I was so relaxed in his office that I was not able to respond to his suggestions in a rational way. Usually I just avoid such conversations. I told him that I would always feel guilty if I had done such thing. He said 'if there are no feelings involved, you wouldn't feel guilty at all'.
Then, I protested 'how would it be possible to sex without feelings?'. He said 'Oh yeah, it is possible and it would be great indeed'. Then, he asked about my fantasies and I found myself telling him about a fantasy I never shared with anyone in my life, including my partner!! How he did make me talk, I really don't know. But he was like using magic on me. When I was going to leave, he arranged another session (he suggested hypnotherapy) and told me that if I was with a partner who desire me a lot I would have multiple orgasms as he was seeing that I was sooo ready for healthy sex. I went blank. Before I left he wanted to shake my hand and he shaked my hand a bit longer than normal times. When I left I started to feel in love with him and I could not believe my sttraction had become uncontrollable. As I was feeling I was losing control, I started crying like hell for three days. I felt really cheap and like a whore for falling for a married man. Yet, I never considered the possibility that he was also interested in me. On Wednesday I sent him an email saying that I was having the usual 'erotomania' and I was looking for help. Could he suggest me any psychologist about that? He answered on Friday by inviting me to his office at 5.30pm. When I arrived, he was busy. So, his assistants could only take me to his office at around 6.30pm. He asked me to sit and started asking me questions about how my week was. I thanked him for accepting me as I was not expecting that. He then started talking with me about many different things. Mainly how I was such a reserved and coward person not to pursue the people I am attracted to. He asked me how I was feeling and then he asked to whom I was attracted. I bluntly said 'to you. but that's normal because nobody listens to me, But you listened to me.' He said 'it was his job to listen to me.' I said 'yeah, I am fully aware of

(continues) I said 'yes I am fully aware of it.' He seemed relaxed. He told me that he would never judge anybody and he was content that I shared my thoughts/feelings with him. He added 'this would only contribute to my narcisstic part'. I smiled 🙂 He was such a nice person, as he did say so because he did not want to hurt my feelings. When I smiled I felt that he looked at me deeply for a moment. Then, he started talking in a very relaxing tone. He told me many things. But in between he said he needs to spend more time with his partner. (He was gonna say 'wife' but then, looked at me and said 'partner'). I felt very relaxed. He asked me questions about my childhood etc. Then he came sit near me and showed me an illustration of ego/alter ego. I withdrew myself a lot as I was feeling like I was near a camp fire. He was explaining me the nature of desire while looking at my eyes directly. I did not think he was interested in me during all this. Then he went sit at another coach and I told him how I felt uncomfortable when he was sitting next to me. Then he started to mention how his baby was behaving etc. Then, he asked me if my partner would be relieved if I slept with another man. I was shocked. Without answering, I directed the same question to him. He seemed like a naughty child which is 'caught' while doing nasty things. He gave me a formal explanation that some guys were seeing 'unconsciously' their partner as their mother. So, they were feeling guilty for sleeping with their partner bla bla.'. I was speechless but never thought of leaving as I was in a therapy(!). Then, he asked me why I had not slept with anybody before. I told him I was afraid of being abandoned. Yet, I must tell that I was talking like a 5 years old girl. I did not know what happened to me while talking to him but I was directly answering all the questions (except that one) automatically although many of them were really intimate. (continuing- last part is coming).

I then noticed the clock on the wall. It was already 8.30pm!!! I did not feel how time had passed. I told him he should tell me when to leave because it was a Friday night. I thought he should go home to his family. He was telling me that he is a touchy person, touchy people become doctors, and he likes people touching him. Some people are visual, some are audio etc. He said most of his patients told him that his voice was making them feel good. That's why they had chosen to come to him. I then looked at him and said: 'I must be visual as I think that your eyes are really fascinating'. I noticed that for a moment he had a kind of body twitch. I did not understand it but I did not put much thought on it as I was feeling sooo relaxed.(I must say that I was only offered nescafe. I don't think he would have added some sedatives on it like in films lol).

He then stood up and told me (and using hands gave the sign) to stand up. When I stood up, he was very close to me. He had already told his assistants to leave the office. So we were alone in his office. It was Friday night and he gave me a very tight hug. I put my head on his chest and I was kind a hearing his heartbits. He started stroking my hair. He was telling me with a soft voice how he hates shaking hands with people. He asked me how I was feeling. I said I was feeling relief. He told me to come again for the hypnotherapy session. Then, he was holding my both hands and looking directly into my eyes and talking about daily life... I was just trying to follow him but it was impossible to understand why he was talking about all these. Then he said 'if you show you are scared like this, aggressive people would attack you'. Then giving a penetrative look right into my soul, he repeated 'trust people' thrice. He left me a bit alone. Then he hugged me again. The same position (my ear on his chest, his hand carressing my hair). He told me to hug him more closely. I did it. This time he was talking nonsense again (that he had many girlfriends before. that he was remembering the one he had while studying abroad etc) but I felt that he was observing me. I had shut down my feelings and my thoughts. I was just blank. I did not know what to think or feel. I thought I was wasting the doctor's time. I was such a boring and pain in the ass patient. He even had to hug me in order to make me feel better. So, I looked at him and said 'Thank you, I am feeling better now.' with a normal smile and gave him a book as a prese

So, I looked at him and said 'Thank you, I am feeling better now.' with a normal smile and gave him a book as a present. He touched the book for some time and thanked me genuinely. Then, he told me that he likes our conversations very much. Then I started moving towards the door of his office. He put his hands around my neck as if we were buddies and walked with me towards the main door. I told him I was feeling better as I had started to see him as a brother. He seemed surprised. He said' no, we are friends' and then I found myself in his arms again and he was again stroking my hair. After a moment, I thanked him again politely and opened the door. He asked me if I was feeling like I had betrayed my partner. I did not understand the relevance of the question but thinking about a crush I had previously I said 'yes'. He said 'never regret anything' while looking at me. I said 'ok'. He then said 'your partner must be doing it too'. It sounded like a question. I thought he was talking about masturbation and said 'yes, of course'. He seemed very surprised and backed off. I left his office. It was already past 9pm. I did not understand what happened in the office but as I told you, I did not have any clue that he might be interestd in having sex with me. He was so formal and professional. Just giving some hints. When I described all to my partner and my friends, they told me that he might have hoped to 'teach' me. LOL. His mixed signals were just ignored as I was in such an awkward mood. I had simply shut down my feelings as he was talking about his partner, his baby, his girlfriends. It just turned me off. I was not sure about his real intentions but anyway I called him to cancel the hypnotherapy session. He first talked to me in a very unusual cold manner. He said 'no problem, I cancel it'. Then with a deeper voice, he asked me if I was ok. I said yes, no worries but my heart was still aching a bit. He then sent me a formal email from the Sexual Therepists' Organization about how surrogate partners were inacceptable in our society and sexual therapists should refrain from having sex with their patients.' I replied 'Thanks a lot. I agree with them. Sex is not just a physical act. It can't happen if there are feelings.' He did not reply.

It's a bit too complicated for me. As I still try to understand why he acted like that, I think I was a bit burnt by his magic spell. Yet, I am sure it will pass. I am curious about your opinions Tauurs people. Did he want to sleep with me? Is it obvious? He made me feel like I was just crazy, even a clinical pathologiccal case 🙂 After leaving the place where he lives, I am good now. I sent him an email saying that I was cured from erotomania 'thanks to your therapies' (!!!!) as I did not want him to think that I was still thinking about him (oh yeahh I am. Nobody hit such badly this cautious capri).. He put my email on his website as an evidence of his success 🙂 LOL

Thanks for your patience 🙂 and hope to hear your comments... I think I am really desperate..

Honey......


I don't know anything about gynaecologist/sexual therapist's,and part of his behavior screams inappropriate to me...but on the other hand,if therapy is to work,the guard has to be let down.
But you are obviously a vulnerable person,and he is well aware of this.I'm almost positive he has a Pisces moon,and he can feel exactly what you are feeling...which would be great in his profession actually.
I would say yes,he's grooming you for some sexual healing...either thru himself,or someone he can refer you to...
I honestly don't know whether any of this is right or wrong.I could never do what you are doing in the first place,so it's up to you to decide.
what worries me is your infatuation with him,and the fact you are probably going to get hurt from this...whether you learn to get your groove on or not.
I would tell you to find another therapist,but honestly...you would most likely develop feelings for anyone in this situation.
maybe he could recommend some books you and your bf could read together? if you love each other,you should be working together on this,not separately....and if you continue to visit Dr. Strangelove,I think bf should be there also.
to answer your question,which I THINK was if he's attracted to you....he very well may be.we are all human,and Taurus and Caps tend to have an attraction and bond.
BUT, he is MARRIED,with a BABY....and your THERAPIST.....
This is why I suggest you either find another one....or take your bf from now on.
I know you are intelligent,so you need to lead with that rather than emotions on this.
Hell,just ask any of us privately,we can give you some sex advice...and you can save your money and protect yourself at the same time. 😉
it also sounds as if you need to do some talking to your bf about what you need from him outside of the bedroom.

This whole thing sounds strange whichever way you look at it. I would not go there again. Do you think, since you have an attraction to these types of people that you are idealising and fantasising about what he is saying? I am not saying you are, just that you should think about it, cause the way you have written about the situation sounds like a fantasy. Sometimes the slightest touch from someone we are attracted to, although very professional from their perspective, seems like a come on to an attracted individual. Even if he is coming onto you, it sounds bad and I would leave. Why don't you see a female sex therapist. That would be a better idea.

Dear BellatheBull, thank you so much for your inspiring reply as well as your patience for reading all these. I must add that after that day I found myself hugging a few people (who are not really close) almost automatically. Those people felt awkward of course and I felt awkward too. Why did I feel obliged to show that I am not reserved by hugging people? It is soo not me. But no worries. I am a strong person and I am going to forget about all of the crap he said to me now that I know that his intentions might not be good. As cutibullie puts it very well! Thanks a lot guys. It really feels good to be understood.

Yes, PiscesLeoAquarius you're right. I know how that sounds. That's why first I did not even believe my bf and friends who warned me against the therapist. Nevertheless I am a cautious person and after that strange session in Friday night, I never met him again. I left the town and the therapist knew it already that I was leaving for good. Why I chose him is because he is both gyno and therapist. Moreover a female gyno hurt me a lot. I was scared to death. He was very caring and understanding. So, he got really successful in persuading me in exam or behavioral therapy. I feel really bad for myself but you know, I am such a tough woman who never lets her guards down for a man. I thought this man did not count as man as he was a known gyno/threapist. He was a doctor. He should have known that he might hurt people like me who are esp. in such a vulnerable position. I dont know. But I remember him telling me how he was successful at school while hugging me tightly. and he was saying 'you have so many walls. How did your bf succeed in?'. I did not answer. My mind was not there..
Anyway, you're right. It's not a good idea to let your guards down even for a male doc. and I am really not FWB material as I have this borderline personality disorder traits (dormant luckily).

Posted by cutiebullie
ewwww, that taurus is one PATHETIC, SICK IN THE HEAD (BOTH UP AND DOWN), LOSER!!!

True and unhealthy boundaries all the way around. Get a new therapist

Posted by borderlinecapri
It's a bit too complicated for me. As I still try to understand why he acted like that, I think I was a bit burnt by his magic spell. Yet, I am sure it will pass. I am curious about your opinions Tauurs people. Did he want to sleep with me? Is it obvious? He made me feel like I was just crazy, even a clinical pathologiccal case 🙂 After leaving the place where he lives, I am good now. I sent him an email saying that I was cured from erotomania 'thanks to your therapies' (!!!!) as I did not want him to think that I was still thinking about him (oh yeahh I am. Nobody hit such badly this cautious capri).. He put my email on his website as an evidence of his success 🙂 LOL

Thanks for your patience 🙂 and hope to hear your comments... I think I am really desperate..

I was so wrapped up in it all,I missed your last post! I was advising for nothing....lol.

I'm glad you stepped away from that situation. 🙂
I don't know whether he was planning a shag or not...like I say I don't know how that whole "sex therapy" thing works...but I CAN see how easily someone in his position could take advantage,and how someone in yours could have been. :/
glad you removed yourself. 🙂

Many thanks again indeed 🙂 If you want to hear more about the cognitive behavioral therapy, it involves informing the patient about body parts (I know it's awkward but I am really not familiar with genitals LOL) and trying to change the perception that sex is an immoral practice. The behavioral therapy was about using dilators and learn to get familiar with your own body. The doc was not always in the room but he was often paying frequent visits to see if everything was ok. He was saying that I should not get shy when he sees me as he was used to see vags a lot LOL!

Ha,reminds me of that movie "Twins" with Danny Devito and Arnold.that little kid saying "my dad's a gynaecologist...he looks at vaginas all day" :0

but seriously,it's true...you do need to learn your body and exactly how it works in order to enjoy sex and have orgasms.
I went a long time before I knew that.
but....you can and should be doing that on your own,you don't need some strange Dr. helping you imo.
now,go touch yourself 😉

LOL 🙂 u are really cute BellatheBull! May the happiness be with you all the time!

aw thank you sweetie,same to you! 🙂