I need help!!

Hello everyone, I am so glad I found this message board. I need help with a Taurus man. I am a Pisces female and I met a Taurus man online. We went on a date and I wasn't going to contact him again but he convinced me to give him a chance which I did. He went away for work and we continued to chat every day on whatsapp and things grew quite intense. When he came back we slept together and being a Pisces, sex isn't just a physical thing for me. Then he tells me that he is not sure if he is ready for a serious relationship and he has to think about it. I obviously got upset by this and tried to end it but he said that he doesn't know what he wants but that he doesn't want to lose me. I asked him straight out of he was still interested in me and he said again that he doesn't know what he wants. So I decided to leave him alone, but he texts me every morning and evening. Its almost as if he waits to see when I'm online and then messages me. I am so confused! Is he just being an asshole and using me or is he worth waiting for?

All this after just two dates?

I know it sound ridiculous!

so if pisces think sex is a big deal and scorps do too and so do libras and taurusesess, who doesn't think sex is a big deal?

He is divorced and has had 2 serious relationships since. He told me that when the last one ended it almost killed him and he doesn't want to be hurt again.

Many people think sex isn't a big deal, but I'm not one of them and I don't sleep around. I have an emotional attachment to this guy and I don't know if he is just being a typical Taurus or messing me around.

Posted by Kittyclaw
Hello everyone, I am so glad I found this message board. I need help with a Taurus man. I am a Pisces female and I met a Taurus man online. We went on a date and I wasn't going to contact him again but he convinced me to give him a chance which I did. He went away for work and we continued to chat every day on whatsapp and things grew quite intense. When he came back we slept together and being a Pisces, sex isn't just a physical thing for me. Then he tells me that he is not sure if he is ready for a serious relationship and he has to think about it. I obviously got upset by this and tried to end it but he said that he doesn't know what he wants but that he doesn't want to lose me. I asked him straight out of he was still interested in me and he said again that he doesn't know what he wants. So I decided to leave him alone, but he texts me every morning and evening. Its almost as if he waits to see when I'm online and then messages me. I am so confused! Is he just being an asshole and using me or is he worth waiting for?

i think if he has said he needs time to think, then perhaps you should give him time to think?

Okay, I will do that, thank you! I just don't want to hang on for something that will never happen, but if there is a chance, I will wait for him.

Posted by Kittyclaw
Okay, I will do that, thank you! I just don't want to hang on for something that will never happen, but if there is a chance, I will wait for him.

have a reasonable deadline in your mind (a month? two? whatever you feel comfortable with...and then double it) but yeah, give him the benefit of the doubt at least at this stage would be my advice.

I can't explain why I have an emotional attachment to this guy so quickly as we are very different. I've never experienced this before.

Thank you Jeane, I will definitely do so. :-)

Posted by Kittyclaw
I can't explain why I have an emotional attachment to this guy so quickly as we are very different. I've never experienced this before.

Thats what Taurus loving does to you..

Ok, don't want to burst your bubble but...

I don't think he will be comming back soon. He might be heavily stuck on his previous relationship(s) or more likely be on a bit of a guilt trip for sleeping with you so so early on.

This is a problem cause: 1) If our hearts are still stuck on a previous love we feel like we are betraying them despite us being split up (yeah I know, sounds stupid, but we take a longass time to heal) and 2) We actually like to work for the sex yeah know. Getting it handed to us just destroys the mojo and again makes us feel guilty for exploiting the oppertunity. A shallow taurus might take advantage but a true taurus gentle man shouldn't be doing that. So we backout.

Posted by OmagaIII
Ok, don't want to burst your bubble but...

I don't think he will be comming back soon. He might be heavily stuck on his previous relationship(s) or more likely be on a bit of a guilt trip for sleeping with you so so early on.

This is a problem cause: 1) If our hearts are still stuck on a previous love we feel like we are betraying them despite us being split up (yeah I know, sounds stupid, but we take a longass time to heal) and 2) We actually like to work for the sex yeah know. Getting it handed to us just destroys the mojo and again makes us feel guilty for exploiting the oppertunity. A shallow taurus might take advantage but a true taurus gentle man shouldn't be doing that. So we backout.

i would think that you are right but he is still texting her every morning and night still. it doesn't seems like he is taking the stage left exit that quickly.

Posted by jeane

Posted by OmagaIII
Ok, don't want to burst your bubble but...

I don't think he will be comming back soon. He might be heavily stuck on his previous relationship(s) or more likely be on a bit of a guilt trip for sleeping with you so so early on.

This is a problem cause: 1) If our hearts are still stuck on a previous love we feel like we are betraying them despite us being split up (yeah I know, sounds stupid, but we take a longass time to heal) and 2) We actually like to work for the sex yeah know. Getting it handed to us just destroys the mojo and again makes us feel guilty for exploiting the oppertunity. A shallow taurus might take advantage but a true taurus gentle man shouldn't be doing that. So we backout.

i would think that you are right but he is still texting her every morning and night still. it doesn't seems like he is taking the stage left exit that quickly.

click to expand

Yeah, bout that... Still a guilt thing. Telling her how great she is and hoping she has sweet dreams and that he misses her... And he doesn't move to see her.

That is your clue. He got what he (didn't) want.

Posted by OmagaIII

Posted by jeane

Posted by OmagaIII
Ok, don't want to burst your bubble but...

I don't think he will be comming back soon. He might be heavily stuck on his previous relationship(s) or more likely be on a bit of a guilt trip for sleeping with you so so early on.

This is a problem cause: 1) If our hearts are still stuck on a previous love we feel like we are betraying them despite us being split up (yeah I know, sounds stupid, but we take a longass time to heal) and 2) We actually like to work for the sex yeah know. Getting it handed to us just destroys the mojo and again makes us feel guilty for exploiting the oppertunity. A shallow taurus might take advantage but a true taurus gentle man shouldn't be doing that. So we backout.

i would think that you are right but he is still texting her every morning and night still. it doesn't seems like he is taking the stage left exit that quickly.

Yeah, bout that... Still a guilt thing. Telling her how great she is and hoping she has sweet dreams and that he misses her... And he doesn't move to see her.

That is your clue. He got what he (didn't) want.

click to expand

Great points and observations here.

Omaga... Where you been—

Thank you everyone for your comments. OmagaIII this is what I have been wondering myself, but then I would rather he just leave me alone to get on with my life. Perhaps I should cut and run now!

Posted by AgentP911

Posted by OmagaIII

Posted by jeane

Posted by OmagaIII
Ok, don't want to burst your bubble but...

I don't think he will be comming back soon. He might be heavily stuck on his previous relationship(s) or more likely be on a bit of a guilt trip for sleeping with you so so early on.

This is a problem cause: 1) If our hearts are still stuck on a previous love we feel like we are betraying them despite us being split up (yeah I know, sounds stupid, but we take a longass time to heal) and 2) We actually like to work for the sex yeah know. Getting it handed to us just destroys the mojo and again makes us feel guilty for exploiting the oppertunity. A shallow taurus might take advantage but a true taurus gentle man shouldn't be doing that. So we backout.

i would think that you are right but he is still texting her every morning and night still. it doesn't seems like he is taking the stage left exit that quickly.

Yeah, bout that... Still a guilt thing. Telling her how great she is and hoping she has sweet dreams and that he misses her... And he doesn't move to see her.

That is your clue. He got what he (didn't) want.

Great points and observations here.

Omaga... Where you been—

click to expand

Hehehe Well... fighting my own battles 🙂

Posted by INTJBull
I'm going to disagree with Omagall. Unless Taurus males & females are completely different that's not how I see this situation at all. Yes I think this guy is still stuck in his previous relationship & is hesitant to move forward, but not out of guilt. It's because he doesn't want to be crushed again & it's hard to throw caution to the wind & put ourselves out there. I will admit that I'm really controlling & I generally don't like to proceed in anything until I weigh the risk factors & am as confident as I can be that things are going to work out in my favor.

You said that after your first date you weren't going to go out with him again & he had to convince you to give him another chance. This on top of the bad ending of the past relationship he's still stuck on has him even more leery. In his mind, if you were 100% into him he wouldn't have had to talk you into anything. So he's not sure if he should proceed. I think he's weighing the risk factor.

The best indication that he's interested is that he still texts you every morning & night. I do not go out of my way to contact anyone I'm not interested in. If I'm completely uninterested I will avoid them. If I'm slightly interested in someone I will get in touch with them sporadically. Almost as a passing thought. They are not on my mind first thing in the morning or in the evening when my day is winding down. I'm not a super emotional person. I operate more from logic than I do emotion. So I won't be keeping in contact with anyone out of guilt. If not interested, I will try to cut contact asap as to avoid dragging things out & making things worse & fyi, I will let the other person know. I don't just disappear.

I think the best thing to do is not sleep with him again until he decides if he wants to try to have a relationship with you, make a commitment, whatever it is that you're looking for. Just because you've slept with him once doesn't mean you can't go out on a date & not have sex with him again. Just be honest that you get really attached when sex is involved & you don't want to do that until you know that you're headed for something more serious. But in the mean time continue to talk to him & show interest without pressuring him. My 2 cents.

Great points here too!

Sorry, don't know what happened there...

Thank you so much for this. You are spot on with not wanting to get hurt again. He has said this to me himself. And I responded to that by telling him that I would not hurt him - it is not in my nature to do so.

After our first date I didn't outright tell him that I didn't want to see him again but I kinda pointed out differences in our lifestyles that I was concerned about and he told me not to worry about it and that he would like to have a second date with me.

Our messaging has gone from pet names and lovey dovey stuff to non committal how are you's and have a nice day. If I push him, all he says is that he doesn't know what he wants. But in saying this he still messages me every morning to say good morning and have a nice day and then at the end of the day to say hi and find out what I am doing. I have not been initiating any kind of contact with him at all of late, it has all been from him and then I have responded.

I have not slept with him again and I have already decided not to unless there is some kind of commitment in place.

I asked the initial question, because from everything I have read, Taurus can take a very long time to make up their minds but that they are worth the wait. I just wanted to know if he was being an A-hole guy and just using me or if this was indeed just him being a typical Taurus. I don't mind waiting for him (and I have told him this) but I need to know that there is at least some hope.

I'm soooooo confused!

Thank you INTJBull this give me hope! I also wondered why he would still be contacting me and not breaking off communication completely. In my experience when guys aren't into you they don't communicate with you, and this is why it is so confusing for me.

So now I need to know how to reassure him and make him feel safe without bringing my typical over emotional clingy Pisces side into it. How do I make him believe that I will not hurt him or take advantage of him and that I'm worth taking a chance on?

Okay INTJBull, I am going to try! I've noticed that he doesn't like talking about his feelings and I may not have respected that in the past. Perhaps that is why he is still keeping contact, because I haven't been pressuring him of late. It's not in my nature to be a patient person, but for this guy I will try my best. Thank you so much for the advice!

... This is going to be interesting.

Look, everyone has there opinion, but don't fool yourself. I am telling you now you are going to wait for something that has at least a 70% chance of not happening.

@Int We are different, very. It is not so much what you see, it is all about what is right there. We suck with words, but we damn well show clearly how things work.

@Kitty Since you seem to have decided to persue, word to the wise, don't expect anything. That way your feelings will hopefully be spared.

Hello all, thank you very much for your advice and insights. Having never dealt with a bull before, I must admit, I was a little stumped. I would like to see where things go with him and I have a feeling he will be worth the wait, however in saying that, OmagaIII, I am also realistic and do realize that I may have stuffed things up to the point of no repair. I will try very hard not to expect anything. However you did say that there may be a slight chance (30% ) of it working and if there is I wouldn't like to let him go.

I don't like giving up and admitting defeat, so I will relax and see where things go. For now we are still talking so he hasn't kicked me to the curb yet. I'm taking this as a good sign. INTJBull, I am going to do exactly that and enjoy his company and cultivate our friendship without pressure or expectation.

Hopefully I will have good news to report, otherwise I can at least say I tried. :-)