My Bulls and your comfort zone?

Ok my loveable bulls (and Bulletts of course), what in particular will help you to become more comfortable with someone that you have admitted to having very strong feelings for? What sorts of things will help you feel more comfortable to slowly let your wall down?

Posted by Iamawinelover
Ok my loveable bulls (and Bulletts of course), what in particular will help you to become more comfortable with someone that you have admitted to having very strong feelings for? What sorts of things will help you feel more comfortable to slowly let your wall down?

For me,
It's the unspoken word demonstrated through actions.

If he's very affectionate, holds me close, and gives me a reassuring kiss on my forehead. He actively listens with a non-judgmental ear, he understands me and simply accepts it, he doesn't try to change me, he reaffirms his position. He's MY man. I'm HIS woman.

I have no tolerance for someone blowing sunshine up my ass. I don't need constant affirmation, just a quiet, consistent presence that he's in it for the long haul.

Once I feel this way, the walls will come crashing.

+1

Consistency.

Definitely consistency and security. If you say it back it up 100%

Posted by scorchedearth
consistency and lots of time. depending on the person it can happen sooner but a good rule of thumb is that if you want a taurus to let you in you need to put in the time for that to happen.

Ok, great advice. I am consistant, I'm a cappy and I do have more patience that I thought I did but we are back at the silent mood swing again. So I've backed off and I am keeping busy with other things as. Just wondering what it takes for him to feel more comfortable with me.

Posted by SweetestFatale
Definitely consistency and security. If you say it back it up 100%

I do gf, I do. He knows that! I don't say anything unless I mean it.

Posted by TaurusBull1977

Posted by Iamawinelover
Ok my loveable bulls (and Bulletts of course), what in particular will help you to become more comfortable with someone that you have admitted to having very strong feelings for? What sorts of things will help you feel more comfortable to slowly let your wall down?

For me,
It's the unspoken word demonstrated through actions.

If he's very affectionate, holds me close, and gives me a reassuring kiss on my forehead. He actively listens with a non-judgmental ear, he understands me and simply accepts it, he doesn't try to change me, he reaffirms his position. He's MY man. I'm HIS woman.

I have no tolerance for someone blowing sunshine up my ass. I don't need constant affirmation, just a quiet, consistent presence that he's in it for the long haul.

Once I feel this way, the walls will come crashing.

click to expand

Laughing at "I have no tolerance for someone blowing sunshine up my ass." I hear you. I'm not one to do that. But I am moving at his pace while giving him as much time is needed; space and all. I thought I was doing all that I need to (inviting him to my place which I do not invite just anyone, including the best wines, food (I am a very good cook. 🙂) and so forth but he still is very shy, I am too. He call me the ultimate hostess and loves how everything is presented when he enters my apt. But he's not quite comfortable yet, not sure about me I guess. Well, it's all in due time, yes. Is it fear as well?

Good luck.

I am a cap too and my Taurus wouldnt open up either. He'd be comfortable in my place physically, but not comfortable enough to express himself emotionally despite how open and honest I felt I was with my feelings.

As an observer, I feel he just didnt trust me. He'd kiss me with his eyes open. I also think we(caps) have a heavy energy...they do as well, but im wondering if the energy limits expression? Both are naturally shy, so maybe its all just normal behavior. Whoknows.

Posted by Iamawinelover
Ok my loveable bulls (and Bulletts of course), what in particular will help you to become more comfortable with someone that you have admitted to having very strong feelings for? What sorts of things will help you feel more comfortable to slowly let your wall down?

Patience and consistency.

When my mother was little she couldn't grasp the concept of "infinity". Her math teacher told her: Imagine a rock and then imagine that each year one drop of rain falls on it. How many years will it take to errode the rock? That's infinity.

Substitute rock for Taurus and infinity for ....less than infinity (or so we impatient zodiac sings hope 🙂) )

Maybe you're trying too hard and he can sense it. We can get in our moods once in a while but that might mean something is going on that he's trying to focus on. Just be yourself. If he doesn't appreciate you for who you are then...on to the next.

Posted by peaceloveandhappiness
Maybe you're trying too hard and he can sense it. We can get in our moods once in a while but that might mean something is going on that he's trying to focus on. Just be yourself. If he doesn't appreciate you for who you are then...on to the next.

Very true but no, I don't feel that I am trying hard at all. I am moving at his pace. I don't push; give him the space he needs or wants (not easy at all but I grin and bear it) while never losing track of my own life. I have an amount of time in my head of how long I think I can deal with this but if it doesn't pan out, then yes on to someone else.

Thank you everyone! I appreciate your opinions and or advice. I am very consistant; nothing flaky about me whatsoever. I just wonder if he sees that. Maybe he doesn't. Only time will tell.

Posted by peaceloveandhappiness
+1

Consistency.

^^^THIS so much this!!!!

Posted by KittyKnitter
i met my taurus guy about 6 years ago, when he is hurt, he might go on offensive and then withdraw. when he is mad he definitely goes on offensive and wants to be left alone til he is ready to talk. when is afraid he panics and needs time to be ready to talk about it, and when he needs to think, recharge, process his feelings, solve a problem or simply do something on his own, he needs time and space to do that. i understand that sometimes he is quiet because he wants to be sure of what he is talking about when finally he comes to talk but it's tough to wait. i also know that he took a long time to be sure of who i am while still not sure of who he is and it's those issues that caused us to go from dating to commitment, to good friends back to commitment. i know what i want and need and i am clear about that. he also knows my expectations and i know his. so being assertive is important but also i can trust my instincts when what he says and does might not match up.there are times he needs a gentle hand and times he needs a little push. but if he is in my life, then he wants to be part of it. for that, he gets a chance to see the real me. if he doesn't appreciate me then someone else will. if your guy shows he cares by doing practical things, little things, offering words of support and being a good friend, he is in it with you. just give him time to be sure of what he can give and if he really wants to give it to you, if he doesn't come through for you, you will know what to do and when the time is right to cut strings and move on.

WOW, I really thank you and appreciate your response. I'm trying my best to understand his mood swings and how he thinks while not taking it personal which is a challenge in itself. Some of us Cappies take things personally when we shouldn't like. I am working on changing that for 2014. 🙂 I have backed away and left him alone to his own world and thoughts. Only in due time I will know more or he may come back around. How long did it take you to finally come to some sort of understanding of how your Taurus?

Posted by MilkySoft
Ha, I love that you all said consistency because it's so true. I have to say it's a large part of why I wait longer to take things to the next step; consistency has to be demonstrated and that takes time.

There are other characteristics that Taureans naturally respect, such as persistence, strength of character, patience. My walls come down easier when someone displays attributes I can identify with.

I hear you and thank you. My best female friend of 22 years (like my sister) is a Taurus and she says the same thing about herself. What's so funny is that I can handle her mood swings and all of her ups and downs. But for some reason it's a challenge dealing with my guy Taurus.

It seems like a bit too much work on your end with no pay off.
Maybe he's 'going through stuff' or 'just isn't that into you'
I'm not trying to be negative, but it shouldn't require this much work. Especially for a Cap who is supposed to have natural synergy. I think you deserve someone who is thinking about you just as much as you are them, and is more available to you.

To answer the original ? :
In my experience:

Strength, moral character, kindness towards humanity, musical prowess are all dead ringers for Taurus l o v e.

As for what keeps them?
I'm still figuring that out,
but I'm guessing consistency and honestly. And lack of drama.

*honesty

Action! Action! words don't mean anything to us,

1. prove to us that your respectful, treat women right regardless, loyal and honesty. We are straightforward and blunt people. I don't sugarcoat anything. So if I tell you something maybe advice I hope you listen. Like take the trash out if its full don't wait for me to get off work (but it goes both ways). Do it forever. Show us with action and words won't be coming out my mouth no more(i will say thank you though). I would praise you by showing you affection some how shaped or formed.