Sag woman trying to decipher Taurus man

I'm looking for some advice on what the heck is going with my Taurus, if there is something there for me, or not, and what the heck I should do next. I've been waiting for him for 2 years now. He seems to think I'm asking for all or nothing. But I just want a chance to see if there is "something". We are far way from each other, but I would move to him if we looked like we could work. In the meantime, I would happily fly to him once a month, or whatever worked best. I can't even get close to a conversation like that with him. He has been horribly hurt by two previous relationships. He won't cut me loose, but he won't step up, and I'm hopelessly in love with him.

I'm a Sag Sun, Aries Moon, Aries Rising

He is a Taurus Sun, Leo Moon, Pisces Rising

We are both 46 yrs old

Here's my story, sorry it's long:

On 3 May 2014, 6 weeks after my 11 yr marriage ended, I noticed I had a friend request on FB from my Taurus. We had been friends in year 12. We had a few chats, he gave me practical friend advice. Over the rest of 2014, my Taurus would like most of my photos and posts, and occasionally put sweet, or flirtatious comments on them.

I was living in the US, and my Taurus living in Australia at this time.

On my birthday December 2014, I received the blow I needed to truly understand the nature of my then-husband. I was knocked low. That night I dreamt of my Taurus friend. He put his arms around me, kissed my face, and told me everything would be okay. I rarely remember my dreams, but that dream stayed with me all day. Spur of the moment, I decided I'd message my Taurus and tell him about my dream.

My Taurus' response was immediate, and enthusiastic, asking me if I knew where the dream had taken place, and that "stranger things have happened." This was the start of many texts between us through December. My Taurus was persistent, and sweet with his contact, messaging me first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. A 17 hr time zone difference between us did not stop him. I was unsure about my Taurus, but he was thawing my heart. He wanted to start Skype sessions, which we did. I explained to him that I am the sort of person who equates sex with love, and if we continued down this path, I would fall in love with him. I sought reassurance that this would be a safe thing for me to do, or if I should back things off before things got too intense. My Taurus reassured me that he was "very happy with how our relationship was developing." He started making plans that he would come and visit me in the US.

In April 2015 my grandmother passed away. I told Taurus I would be in Australia in 2 weeks time, and would he fly to meet me. He booked his flight immediately.

May 2015 we spent 4 days together. Perfect, languid days, calm, peaceful, full of love and tenderness. He took me to meet his sister and niece, we held each other, ate, talked, walked, held hands, made love. Looking at me sitting on the bed the last night he said to me, "You are that same girl from high school." I told him at the airport when he was leaving that I was falling in love with him. He pulled me close and kissed my face.

After that meeting, my feelings grew. But he started to become distant and disappeared. I made the decision to step back from him in June 2015. We had a phone call where he told me he "really loved the person I am," and felt "more deeply for me than he could express." We did not have contact again until August, when I reached out to him. He responded immediately with a light-hearted text. In September my Taurus contacted me and we had a 3 hour conversation, full of laughter and silliness. I thought perhaps it was the start of us communicating again. But a week later I saw a picture of him on his FB page with a woman. When I contacted him and asked him what was going on, he told me they had known each other for awhile and had decided to see if they could work in a relationship. I was devastated. I asked my Taurus to block me on FB so I could not see the relationship unfold. Despite this, within a couple of weeks, my Taurus and I had set up a schedule where we would Skype every couple of weeks, long 3 and 4 hours conversations on his days off. Slowly these conversations included flirtatious moments.

October 2015 I made the decision to return to Australia. I told my Taurus I was moving back, and he was excited and delighted.

In one particularly intense conversation after my Taurus knew I was making plans to return to Australia, the topic of his girlfriend came up. I said to him it was time for me to let him go. And he said No. He said he didn't want me to let him go or give up hope for him, that he was working his way to me, and that he and the girl would not last long. He wanted to be with me.

The next Skype conversation we had I cried and told him how much my heart hurt every day knowing he was with this girl. He then contacted me a few days before my birthday December 2015 to tell me that he and the girl had broken up. He contacted me with text messages, and emailed me from his work, asked for Skype calls. We talked about a future together.



During this entire time, my Taurus had been separated under the same roof with his ex. She had helped him with the deposit to purchase his house, and when they separated they had come to an agreement that once he paid her back the deposit money, she would move out. My Taurus paid her back the money mid 2015, and although she made many noises about leaving, occasionally packed a few boxes, she did not leave. His living arrangements became more and more hostile.

When he contacted me in December 2015 he was excited to tell me that his ex had said she would be gone by Christmas day, and that she was back to packing boxes. Christmas day came and went, and she did not leave. My Taurus' mood began to shift, and he began to withdrawn.



My divorce was finalised in January 2016. I put my house on the market and had a contract on it by end of February. I planned to be back in Australia by middle of June.

My Taurus' contact became more sporadic. Our last Skype conversation in late February 2016 was difficult, and I could see how down he was about his situation with his ex not moving out. He continued to withdraw until he just stopped contacting me, responding to my messages. I decided I just needed to let him have some space and I put my focus into everything involved with an international move.

I arrived back in Australia middle of June 2016. Now I was on the east coast and my Taurus was on the west coast. I contacted him to let him know I had arrived, left him a few voice messages and texted him asking him to please respond. When he did not, I decided it was time to cut the ties. I sent him a short text message saying I wished him well and hoped he was happy, this was goodbye. Then I deleted him from my contacts.

2 weeks later he texted and emailed me the same message, telling me I shouldn't think he wanted me gone from his life, that was the opposite of what he wanted, that he thought I was an awesome woman, and that he had been working hard to sort his life out, that it was still not sorted, that the ex was still in his house, and that he didn't feel ready or good enough, or in the right headspace to be with me. He was angry in the message, said I knew he needed space, and yet I kept pushing on him. I felt upset about the message - it had been five months since I'd heard from him, and now he was saying to me that I could have had him, but my impatience had cost me what I wanted, and I was too needy, that I knew what he needed, and I was displaying blatant disregard. I called him multiple times before he answered.

He said he didn't want me to apologise for things he had done, and that he needed to apologise for. He told me was struggling, his mind in a very dark place, and he didn't know how to get himself free. That he knew he was holding me at arms length, but he questioned his worthiness as a man, and his worthiness to anybody as a partner. We talked for about 3 hours.

We have been in contact off and on since that time. When we talk they are always several hrs long, and he does not like to say good bye. I flew and spent 2 days with him in October. Of course he was very walled up and protective, but he talked to me like never before about his life. He was affectionate in the bedroom, reserved in public.

He was finally able to get his ex to move out of his house with a court ordered eviction a week after I flew to see him.

Late November 2016 we had very intense talk, he asked me why does it have to be all or nothing with me, because he was the one who would have to pay for it. When I asked him what he meant, how would he pay, he said he'd pay by losing me if he couldn't give me the all. That conversation was very raw and emotional, and my heart was hurting me so much I began to cry. I was very shocked and startled to hear my Taurus start to cry also, and he said he was so sorry for the pain he has caused me, and that he thought he was poison. I said I didn't want to leave his life, but I didn't now what to do, because my feelings were too deep to pretend I could just be friends, and I didn't seem to be able to give him the space he kept asking for. He cried and told me he didn't want me to leave. He said it over and over "I don't want you to leave." He said nobody had ever made him cry, but I could, and he hand't cried in more than 6 years.

We have had a couple of brief chat messages since that. He texted me three days in a row near my birthday early December, light and fluffy, sent me a few pics of what he was doing. No contact after that until I texted him last Friday and asked if he had time to talk. He responded immediately with "Of course". We talked for a couple of hours, nothing heavy. What now?

reading your post (and I'm reading it as someone having my own saga with a Taurus hence why I read the feeds) - what sticks out is that not only was he seeing someone and playing with your emotions on the side when he had the girlfriend - he also never actually came to you when he was supposedly so unhappy with the girl in his house and it was over and into you. If it was as over as he said surely he would have come to you to get some emotional connection etc. To me it sounds like he was trying to make it work with the other girl over you and it just didn't in the end, but I don't think he was perhaps as into you as he said (sorry to say this)

The Taurus I like (or rather liked) is married (I thought getting separated um no) and thinking about leaving after a loong time - decades, and actually left his home and family for over a month (and risked his whole marriage) and went long distance to see another girl that came into the picture (before I sort of came into it all). He basically went after what he wanted (even being married) and got a visa for the country and everything. I know he daily talks to her for hours but I know he won't leave his current situation its like the wife goes to bed and he talks to her for hours after its as clear as day the routine. The thing is he wont break his marriage off for the girl or leave (not yet anyway) as he has somewhat told me he wont leave where he lives.

Id stop wasting any more time if it were me - if he wanted you he would make it happen and hes just always ghosting - but i'm not a Tarus just an observer of something similar.

Thanks for your response soundsunscene. I'm sorry, that situation sounds horrible.

My Taurus definitely did not have good feelings for his long term ex by the time he got her out of his house. I got to see that deteriorate over the two years she holed up and wouldn't budge.

The girlfriend thing was hard. But we did talk about it. He was lonely, I was living on another continent, we were not in contact, and he had no idea if he'd ever hear from me again. I knew the first time my Taurus and I spoke again, a great big long 4 hour Skype, laughing and joking together, and he wouldn't let me end the conversation, that their relationship would be short lived - it lasted not quiet 3 months. It was hard, but I did understand.

It was way harder when I told him I was going to move back to Australia, they broke up, and he contacted me telling me he was mine. All that sweet contact again. But he was flying high, thinking his long term ex was finally moving out. Then she didn't leave, and I saw him crash and he went AWOL. What was really difficult was we'd talked and he'd reassured me he wanted me and would be waiting for me, and that if anything changed, he'd let me know. So I had to work hard to hold it in my heart that he hadn't let me know something had changed, therefore he must still want me. To finally get to Australia and still nothing from him, was horrible. And let's be honest, I went very Sag on his arse and left several tearful voices messages, and several tearful text messages on his phone. When I got no response to those, I did what I thought needed doing and cut the ties. And Boom! That got a very unexpected response!

He has told me his self esteem is low, he doesn't feel like relationship material, and after being so manipulated by his ex-wife and ex-long term girlfriend, that he was holding me at arms length and couldn't help questioning my motivations and what I wanted from him.

The more I read about Taurus males, the more I see he is very much a classic Taurus. He will even speak about his stubborn logical Taurus nature - so he knows himself what he is!

I think he needs me to continue to have patience. To continue to give him space to heal, but also to reach out periodically and let him know I'm still here and I still care.

I can hang on. I don't want to be with anybody else. I can see this time as an opportunity to finish my own healing, work on my self-love, get comfortable with my own company. But I am scared I'm making a fool of myself and that my love for him has me blinded to a dead end situation.

That's why I'm here, seeking advice from those in the know. (Plus it's helping me not text him when I shouldn't be texting him!) 😉

Thanks for your reply Noni05. A good response. Yeah, this does my head in so much. Getting on with my life and be happy would be a good thing. Thank you.

Now you be friends. Don't abandon him at his lowest time. If you truly want this guy, think he is the one for you and trust that he has good intentions, then be the best friend he has had by giving him what he needs at this time.

Love truly is selfless and kind.

This is not to say be a doormat. Have your boundaries and stick to them but I can't see why you wouldn't give him your friendship and support.

Like John has said before they need to know you will be there for them through thick and thin, just like they would for you. If you walk away, that speaks volumes about the type of person you are.

Posted by jeane
Now you be friends. Don't abandon him at his lowest time. If you truly want this guy, think he is the one for you and trust that he has good intentions, then be the best friend he has had by giving him what he needs at this time.

Love truly is selfless and kind.

This is not to say be a doormat. Have your boundaries and stick to them but I can't see why you wouldn't give him your friendship and support.

Like John has said before they need to know you will be there for them through thick and thin, just like they would for you. If you walk away, that speaks volumes about the type of person you are.

Oh man, Jeane. Thank you very much, what you said resonates.

Taurus are stable.....so maybe ok, but leos are full of themselves and don t really care about others, ultimately, and Pisces rising =slippery. Can pull the disappearing act. Maybe you need a more stable partner like à Cancer /Taurus.

Posted by bricklemark
Taurus are stable.....so maybe ok, but leos are full of themselves and don t really care about others, ultimately, and Pisces rising =slippery. Can pull the disappearing act. Maybe you need a more stable partner like à Cancer /Taurus.

Thanks bricklemark, I appreciate that insight.

Posted by IndigoSag

Posted by bricklemark
Taurus are stable.....so maybe ok, but leos are full of themselves and don t really care about others, ultimately, and Pisces rising =slippery. Can pull the disappearing act. Maybe you need a more stable partner like à Cancer /Taurus.

Thanks bricklemark, I appreciate that insight.

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Really? Or are you being polite lol but l think he has that slippery quality, by what you described. Doesn't mean it's a no-go.

What strikes me as a red flag here is that you always travelled to him. First to meet with him that first time. And now to uproot your life and move across the world to him. Your delivering yourself to him on a silver platter and he still has excuses why you can't be together...seems fishy.

Also why is the ex still there? If he's telling the truth and the house is in his name/he's paid back the deposit why wouldn't he just evict her/call the police to escort her off? Or list the house and sell it out from underneath her and get a place with you? I have a suspicion that he is still romantically involved with his ex...

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
@ Libraurus - "Seek to understand".. I'll never forget that...

If you are hurt and upset.. Speak in a logical way, point by point manner. State clearly your needs and what you need to make the situation better. Even put your emotions in a text but make it coherent and concise. Think logic not emotion until you have formed a deep emotional connection with us and even then, put your emotions in a logical format... We run from emotions as we do feel very deeply. Leo and Pisces are emotional passionate placements.

ha, glad that resonated. I find if you try to understand first, you are less likely to resort to flying off the handle with lots of blame.

good advice about the texting. i had to write one of those very recently!

I get that you care about him but while you have been loyal and steadfast for the past 2 years he has just been lip service, dating others and living with another woman.

I agree with Jeane that you should be there for him as a friend but maintain your boundaries. No flirtatious texts, no hookups, no endearing nicknames. Cut out the fake relationship bull. Focus on yourself and go out with other men.

Posted by bricklemark

Posted by IndigoSag

Posted by bricklemark
Taurus are stable.....so maybe ok, but leos are full of themselves and don t really care about others, ultimately, and Pisces rising =slippery. Can pull the disappearing act. Maybe you need a more stable partner like à Cancer /Taurus.

Thanks bricklemark, I appreciate that insight.

Really? Or are you being polite lol but l think he has that slippery quality, by what you described. Doesn't mean it's a no-go.

click to expand

Well, I am a very polite person. The Pisces = slippery was new info to me. Had to think on it. I've had plenty of experience with Leo's! My ex-husband is one. Oh boy.

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by jeane
Now you be friends. Don't abandon him at his lowest time. If you truly want this guy, think he is the one for you and trust that he has good intentions, then be the best friend he has had by giving him what he needs at this time.

Love truly is selfless and kind.

This is not to say be a doormat. Have your boundaries and stick to them but I can't see why you wouldn't give him your friendship and support.

Like John has said before they need to know you will be there for them through thick and thin, just like they would for you. If you walk away, that speaks volumes about the type of person you are.

As above...^^^ Jeane is a libra who is with a Taurus for a good few years now so has good experiences of our behaviour from an outside perspective which is great as she has even helped me on a few occasions deal with my Taurus beau ... even a Taurus does not have all the answers when dealing with a Taurus. This is the most complicated sign ever... The caps, gems, aquas and sags much easier to handle...

@ Libraurus - "Seek to understand".. I'll never forget that...

But one thing I have to say OP (my sister is also a sag), I have noticed that you guys cry alot... That is something us earthlings are not good at understanding. In fact emotions like this makes us nervous. I have had turmoil with my current beau but have never resorted to leaving tearful messages of emotion on the phone... We don't respond in an emotional manner. It makes us feel even more guilty and we retreat instead. We can't deal with it.

If you are hurt and upset.. Speak in a logical way, point by point manner. State clearly your needs and what you need to make the situation better. Even put your emotions in a text but make it coherent and concise. Think logic not emotion until you have formed a deep emotional connection with us and even then, put your emotions in a logical format... We run from emotions as we do feel very deeply. Leo and Pisces are emotional passionate placements.

I am also a Taurus with a Leo moon, I have Pisces in my Venus and Saturn. So I understand your Taurus placements. Pisces is the sign of the fish and will sometimes also act "wishy-washy / flaky as a fish!

You also have an Aries moon which trines his moon. So you have an emotional understanding which makes it easier..

But the sag sun can be " flaky" ie you left instead of standing by him.. but you did stand by him even when he decided to have a girl on the side although it lasted only 3 months. I think he should have been more open about that but his reasoning is understandable...

Just take it easy.. Be his friend... Don't have sex with him until he can commit to you.. Keep his desire for you but keep your legs shut...

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Thank you. Yes, I know he felt abandoned when I stepped away, and he has told me how painful it was for him. If I had all the understanding I do now, I would never have done that. At the time, my therapist and I felt it would be the best thing for me as I was struggling to heal from a physically/mentally abusive relationship, and my Taurus' hot and cold behaviours kept throwing me in a tail spin. I didn't just disapear, but spoke with him on the phone and explained how I was in love with him, and I needed to step back for my own mental health, get a bit stronger and healthier before I tried to have a meaningful relationship.

This journey with my Taurus is teaching me a great deal about myself, and I value these lessons greatly.

Oh my goodness, is all the crying a Sag thing? I feel I wear my heart on my sleeve for all the world to see, and I am constantly battling to control the emotional overflow. I dislike this in myself. My ex-Leo actually could handle my emotions, but I see the discomfort it creates in my Taurus, and I'm trying to reign it in.

The battle is real!

I hate the histrionics and melt downs. Working hard to find my calm, and divert those energies elsewhere.

I'm aware the Sag/Taurus match can be difficult. Our full birth chart match is quite lovely and overall speaks to great potential, if we can get over the communication hurdles. I do love that my Taurus will try and speak to me, even when I'm like this. I was blown away when he cried too, great gut renching sobs, because he could hear my pain, and he asked me not to leave his life. My poor Taurus.

So legs closed. Got it. Do I avoid sexual innuendo? When we spoke on Friday, he was at one point testing the water in that direction, but I didn't take the bait. It's not like he needs me for sex, he's been using casual hook up sites for that.

Thank you for the time you are taking to read my posts and respond to them. I am grateful.

Posted by LadyNeptune
I get that you care about him but while you have been loyal and steadfast for the past 2 years he has just been lip service, dating others and living with another woman.

I agree with Jeane that you should be there for him as a friend but maintain your boundaries. No flirtatious texts, no hookups, no endearing nicknames. Cut out the fake relationship bull. Focus on yourself and go out with other men.

Thanks LadyNeptune.

The ex-long term woman doesn worry me in the slightest. He did end up getting a court ordered eviction to get her gone. He trusted the agreement they had when they separated, but I suspect she realised she didn't want to lose him, and thought she could win him back. But he was done. He had been assaulted on the job, and that was the catalyst to end a very unhappy relationship with a verbally abusive woman. She kept making I'm leaving noises, and would pack a box or two, but her arrangements would always fall over. I got to see his dislike for her grow over that period. She well and truly wore out her welcome and destroyed an chance of an amicable relationship. He is revelling in finally being the king of his castle.

Jeane's advice is golden. I will work hard to be just the friend he needs, and not push on him for something more.

When I visited him in October, while there was some glorious bedroom time, he wanted us to be out and about together. Took me to lunch and coffee shops and the movies. He wanted to sit and talk to me, and shared many things he's never shared before. Even sitting in his car at the cinema for a few hours while he talked. He wanted to have all this conversation. And the bedroom stuff took time to thaw. He actually would not be intimate the first night. It was a slow burn.

And it's not that he isn't attracted to me, given half the chance he will tell me in graphic detail what he'd like to do to me, it's a long list, and he frequently tells me "that will require many nights to get right." TMI? Sorry. But that visit felt more like it was import for him to have a connection deeper than the bedroom. He paid for everything while I was there, including room service! I felt cared for, provided for.

I hope Jeane and John the Baptist are reading this post and have time to share any insight they might have.

Posted by jeane

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
@ Libraurus - "Seek to understand".. I'll never forget that...

If you are hurt and upset.. Speak in a logical way, point by point manner. State clearly your needs and what you need to make the situation better. Even put your emotions in a text but make it coherent and concise. Think logic not emotion until you have formed a deep emotional connection with us and even then, put your emotions in a logical format... We run from emotions as we do feel very deeply. Leo and Pisces are emotional passionate placements.

ha, glad that resonated. I find if you try to understand first, you are less likely to resort to flying off the handle with lots of blame.

good advice about the texting. i had to write one of those very recently!

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Jeane and John the Baptist

I feel like I must at this point try not to have any needs. He told me he was seeing me as being too needy, and that was being a red flag for him.

Is it good he tells me what the red flags are? Man that was an angry email/text ( he sent the same message by email and text to be sure I got it!). Full of mixed signals. "Don't think I don't want you, the opposite is true." He speaks like that all the time. "I really love the person you are." Gah! What? Lol

I'm a friggin smitten kitten.

If I just get on with life, will he come to me when he feels ready and able? Do I just check in on him from time to time so he knows I'm still here, or does he just assume I'm still here?

I wish I did not have so much fire in me.

Posted by IndigoSag

Posted by jeane

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
@ Libraurus - "Seek to understand".. I'll never forget that...

If you are hurt and upset.. Speak in a logical way, point by point manner. State clearly your needs and what you need to make the situation better. Even put your emotions in a text but make it coherent and concise. Think logic not emotion until you have formed a deep emotional connection with us and even then, put your emotions in a logical format... We run from emotions as we do feel very deeply. Leo and Pisces are emotional passionate placements.

ha, glad that resonated. I find if you try to understand first, you are less likely to resort to flying off the handle with lots of blame.

good advice about the texting. i had to write one of those very recently!

Jeane and John the Baptist

I feel like I must at this point try not to have any needs. He told me he was seeing me as being too needy, and that was being a red flag for him.

Is it good he tells me what the red flags are? Man that was an angry email/text ( he sent the same message by email and text to be sure I got it!). Full of mixed signals. "Don't think I don't want you, the opposite is true." He speaks like that all the time. "I really love the person you are." Gah! What? Lol

I'm a friggin smitten kitten.

If I just get on with life, will he come to me when he feels ready and able? Do I just check in on him from time to time so he knows I'm still here, or does he just assume I'm still here?

I wish I did not have so much fire in me.

click to expand

As long as your needs are reasonable, stick to them. You do not have apologise for what you want. If you want a relationship, then say that's what you need. If he can't provide it then you say ok and find someone who can give you what you want. Do not go through life apologising for yourself and your needs.

If you had to step away before because he was bad for you then, then don't apologise for looking after yourself first. You are obligated to yourself first and foremost. If he wants to be part of your life then great but keep in mind he has to meet your standards as much as you are trying to meet his.

Don't become someone else to please him. If you are happy to be friends the behave like friends do. Do you worry about how often you should contact your friends? No, you just do it when you want to. Do the same here. Don't get dazzled by the words and the charm, look at his actions. He is looking at yours.

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by IndigoSag

Posted by jeane

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
@ Libraurus - "Seek to understand".. I'll never forget that...

If you are hurt and upset.. Speak in a logical way, point by point manner. State clearly your needs and what you need to make the situation better. Even put your emotions in a text but make it coherent and concise. Think logic not emotion until you have formed a deep emotional connection with us and even then, put your emotions in a logical format... We run from emotions as we do feel very deeply. Leo and Pisces are emotional passionate placements.

ha, glad that resonated. I find if you try to understand first, you are less likely to resort to flying off the handle with lots of blame.

good advice about the texting. i had to write one of those very recently!

Jeane and John the Baptist

I feel like I must at this point try not to have any needs. He told me he was seeing me as being too needy, and that was being a red flag for him.

Is it good he tells me what the red flags are? Man that was an angry email/text ( he sent the same message by email and text to be sure I got it!). Full of mixed signals. "Don't think I don't want you, the opposite is true." He speaks like that all the time. "I really love the person you are." Gah! What? Lol

I'm a friggin smitten kitten.

If I just get on with life, will he come to me when he feels ready and able? Do I just check in on him from time to time so he knows I'm still here, or does he just assume I'm still here?

I wish I did not have so much fire in me.

Exactly mixed messages is what a Taurus sends out which is what I say read the messages over and over and dischiper the "hidden meaning". This where many females also go wrong... They don't take the time or have the patience to Try and figure out the mind mechanic of a Taurus..

A man is romantic and charming and practical when he is WITH YOU... But do not expect him to at your beck and call. You have to be independent enough to manage without him as on many occasions (depending on the drama in his life) he will not be constantly by your side and you have to get used to this and live with this... That's why "no whimpering" needy women need apply... He will not tolerate and would cut you lose in a heartbeat in order to have peace of mind...

Sag females are too emotional. Earthling can't cope with the dramatics of a sag female and the sag male should come with a health warning...

Let him know you are the only man he wants and you expect the SAME in return from him. Then you let him know to get in touch when he is able and in the meantime live your life.... You have done very well so far.... That's one thing sags are good at...

I am a Chinese fire horse so i can relate to sag lol lol

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Jeane and John the Baptist,

Thank you both. I'm feeling extremely grateful I have the good fortune to be receiving advice and insight from the two of you.

I actually really hate the "needy" actions my Taurus brings out in me. I don't feel like myself. I wonder if sometimes I'm just having a Sag tantrum, "I want that man! How dare he be refusing me! I get what I want!" LOL I supported my ex-husband for 11 years, was the bread winner, covered for him. If anything, I think he would have complained that I held too much back from him, held it all in, kept tight reign on the control of myself, but I had to to survive the mental abuse and the crazy making.

My Taurus' long term-ex is a Sag, as are his sister and his father. I'm not sure why he would pursue another Sag (me), he should be experienced at this point to know Sag's spill emotions on your like a drunk spills his beer! I've gained a great deal of self-awareness through the ordeal with my ex-husband, and a desire to understand the role I played in all that. Is it a blessing or a curse to open your eyes to who you are?

Anyhow, I'm a person who likes time to themselves, and I'm independent. It's me who's gotten me through the assault, the separation, the divorce, the court hearing, the sale of the house, the move to Australia. All me.

John the Baptist, I wish you could read my Tauru's email to me! I spent a couple of weeks re-reading it to try and understand all the messages in it. I've deleted it when I was trying to not have contact.

So you think being in the same country should remove the LDR problem from his mind? Again, I would move to where he was for the right reasons, but I'm not going to subject myself to the torture of being in the same town and being ignored! We had talked about him moving closer to me way back when, and at the time he said he wasn't opposed to that, as he would be near his sister and parents.

October he said he won't move anywhere unless he has a job to go to. He can't get a job in the town I live in doing what he currently does (youth detention centre). He mentioned to me in October that he was looking at jobs in the next closest city that has a youth detention centre, which is four hours drive down the coast from me, where his mother lives. He was also looking at jobs in back in the east coast in the city where his children are with his ex-wife.

Thank you for your patience, I have not had a place to vent all of this before.

I hate that he is having casual sex. He knows I hate it, and he hid it from me. It came out during the conversation where he cried, that he has been doing that. He knows that I haven't been with anybody but him in the last 3 years. I too need emotional connection, and I'm stuck on this Taurus!

He has told me that he needs time to detox from the long-term-ex who finally moved out in October. It feels to me that he views us as an all or nothing, and won't allow anything natural to develop. Man, why can't we just decide to give it a go and start travelling back and forth to each other until we reach a point where it's looking like a good deal and we should have something more permanent? Time together, time apart, time together, time apart. Sounds awesome to me!

As I can't get myself into the "friend zone" in my headspace, perhaps it is time I do as you suggest, John the Baptist, and just lay it out there one last time: "I want you and only you. I want monogamous. If you reach a point where you would like to actually have a monogamous relationship with me where we are exploring our compatibilities and potential, contact me. In the meantime, I've got to get on with getting settled into life back here."

Sound logical? Should I actually hand him the "time together, time apart" solution? Sometimes I think he's so stuck in his head, he doesn't see the options.

I agree with above ...as I said with her always going to him - he has to do NOTHING !

how will you know if he is REALLY into you if you don't pull back and see if he makes any effort to physically come to you? Surely it would always be in your mind you make all the effort - how could that not even slightly make you start to feel unsure if not even resentful in a way?

Plus how is he being a man (regardless of his sign) pursuing you? Taurus loves to court a woman he is into and pursue doesn't he - albeit in a lazy way?

They say a taurus shows themselves in his actions - what actions has he done that don't involve you making the effort?

Are you sure he isnt in a relationship now? sort of sounds like it

Posted by soundsunscene
I agree with above ...as I said with her always going to him - he has to do NOTHING !

how will you know if he is REALLY into you if you don't pull back and see if he makes any effort to physically come to you? Surely it would always be in your mind you make all the effort - how could that not even slightly make you start to feel unsure if not even resentful in a way?

Plus how is he being a man (regardless of his sign) pursuing you? Taurus loves to court a woman he is into and pursue doesn't he - albeit in a lazy way?

They say a taurus shows themselves in his actions - what actions has he done that don't involve you making the effort?

Are you sure he isnt in a relationship now? sort of sounds like it

I'm wondering if he is seeing someone/s too. No way for me to know. He would never tell me, and sadly I haven't broken the conditioning from my ex-husband where I'm not allowed to ask.

Yes, he sure pursued me hard at the start. Man, if I missed a day of texting him, he was all over me like a hot rash! LOL He initiated everything, freaked me the heck out with his intensity!

You are right. He hasn't had to expend any effort on me in a very long time.

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by IndigoSag

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by IndigoSag

Posted by jeane

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
@ Libraurus - "Seek to understand".. I'll never forget that...

If you are hurt and upset.. Speak in a logical way, point by point manner. State clearly your needs and what you need to make the situation better. Even put your emotions in a text but make it coherent and concise. Think logic not emotion until you have formed a deep emotional connection with us and even then, put your emotions in a logical format... We run from emotions as we do feel very deeply. Leo and Pisces are emotional passionate placements.

ha, glad that resonated. I find if you try to understand first, you are less likely to resort to flying off the handle with lots of blame.

good advice about the texting. i had to write one of those very recently!

Jeane and John the Baptist

I feel like I must at this point try not to have any needs. He told me he was seeing me as being too needy, and that was being a red flag for him.

Is it good he tells me what the red flags are? Man that was an angry email/text ( he sent the same message by email and text to be sure I got it!). Full of mixed signals. "Don't think I don't want you, the opposite is true." He speaks like that all the time. "I really love the person you are." Gah! What? Lol

I'm a friggin smitten kitten.

If I just get on with life, will he come to me when he feels ready and able? Do I just check in on him from time to time so he knows I'm still here, or does he just assume I'm still here?

I wish I did not have so much fire in me.

Exactly mixed messages is what a Taurus sends out which is what I say read the messages over and over and dischiper the "hidden meaning". This where many females also go wrong... They don't take the time or have the patience to Try and figure out the mind mechanic of a Taurus..

A man is romantic and charming and practical when he is WITH YOU... But do not expect him to at your beck and call. You have to be independent enough to manage without him as on many occasions (depending on the drama in his life) he will not be constantly by your side and you have to get used to this and live with this... That's why "no whimpering" needy women need apply... He will not tolerate and would cut you lose in a heartbeat in order to have peace of mind...

Sag females are too emotional. Earthling can't cope with the dramatics of a sag female and the sag male should come with a health warning...

Let him know you are the only man he wants and you expect the SAME in return from him. Then you let him know to get in touch when he is able and in the meantime live your life.... You have done very well so far.... That's one thing sags are good at...

I am a Chinese fire horse so i can relate to sag lol lol

Jeane and John the Baptist,

Thank you both. I'm feeling extremely grateful I have the good fortune to be receiving advice and insight from the two of you.

I actually really hate the "needy" actions my Taurus brings out in me. I don't feel like myself. I wonder if sometimes I'm just having a Sag tantrum, "I want that man! How dare he be refusing me! I get what I want!" LOL I supported my ex-husband for 11 years, was the bread winner, covered for him. If anything, I think he would have complained that I held too much back from him, held it all in, kept tight reign on the control of myself, but I had to to survive the mental abuse and the crazy making.

My Taurus' long term-ex is a Sag, as are his sister and his father. I'm not sure why he would pursue another Sag (me), he should be experienced at this point to know Sag's spill emotions on your like a drunk spills his beer! I've gained a great deal of self-awareness through the ordeal with my ex-husband, and a desire to understand the role I played in all that. Is it a blessing or a curse to open your eyes to who you are?

Anyhow, I'm a person who likes time to themselves, and I'm independent. It's me who's gotten me through the assault, the separation, the divorce, the court hearing, the sale of the house, the move to Australia. All me.

John the Baptist, I wish you could read my Tauru's email to me! I spent a couple of weeks re-reading it to try and understand all the messages in it. I've deleted it when I was trying to not have contact.

So you think being in the same country should remove the LDR problem from his mind? Again, I would move to where he was for the right reasons, but I'm not going to subject myself to the torture of being in the same town and being ignored! We had talked about him moving closer to me way back when, and at the time he said he wasn't opposed to that, as he would be near his sister and parents.

October he said he won't move anywhere unless he has a job to go to. He can't get a job in the town I live in doing what he currently does (youth detention centre). He mentioned to me in October that he was looking at jobs in the next closest city that has a youth detention centre, which is four hours drive down the coast from me, where his mother lives. He was also looking at jobs in back in the east coast in the city where his children are with his ex-wife.

Thank you for your patience, I have not had a place to vent all of this before.

I hate that he is having casual sex. He knows I hate it, and he hid it from me. It came out during the conversation where he cried, that he has been doing that. He knows that I haven't been with anybody but him in the last 3 years. I too need emotional connection, and I'm stuck on this Taurus!

He has told me that he needs time to detox from the long-term-ex who finally moved out in October. It feels to me that he views us as an all or nothing, and won't allow anything natural to develop. Man, why can't we just decide to give it a go and start travelling back and forth to each other until we reach a point where it's looking like a good deal and we should have something more permanent? Time together, time apart, time together, time apart. Sounds awesome to me!

As I can't get myself into the "friend zone" in my headspace, perhaps it is time I do as you suggest, John the Baptist, and just lay it out there one last time: "I want you and only you. I want monogamous. If you reach a point where you would like to actually have a monogamous relationship with me where we are exploring our compatibilities and potential, contact me. In the meantime, I've got to get on with getting settled into life back here."

Sound logical? Should I actually hand him the "time together, time apart" solution? Sometimes I think he's so stuck in his head, he doesn't see the options.

You have now moved to the same country as him so he now has to prove himself to you. the "casual sex" he had in your ldr absence should now not be a problem. So you need to put your cards on the table, get him to be open to put his cards on the table and get him to "physically prove by his actions what his intentions are... My bull hunted me down for 18 months and he had to reassure me what his" Intentions " were before I would even get with him. But during that 18 months he proved himself to me in many many ways... He was my rock.

I have to quote from another Taurus - Janet Jackson - who would no doubt have said to your bull "What have you done for me lately"...

It's typical of fire energy to take the natural masculine role and chase while the bull male will sit in the feminine role as Taurus is a feminine sign but these men are old fashioned and they need to lead so I suggest you let him.

I suggest you put it to him that you are now in the same country so what are his intentions ie what are his plans; has he decided upon which area to move to ; is it a central place to commute to you etc. that kind of stuff....

If he has no children or "the practicalities of life" stopping him then there are no excuses...

Even him seeing other girl because you were an ldr is a sign of "weakness" to me (which is why I said you are not so flaky as I would have been gone) and if you had done that he would have cut you off...

What is his time schedule his plans... Time for you to start acting like a practical bull and start mirroring him....

click to expand

Oh gosh, thank you. Yes, for the sake of my own sanity, I do need to be able to lay it on the table for him, and then step back and let it be what it will be.

I know a lot of my problem with finding some sort of resolution is not being able to break free from my programming, where I have no right ask any questions "Where were you? What have you been doing? Who are you talking to? What are you plans?". And "needs, wants, desires" are ultimatums and demands that I have no right to make. An attempt at communication is "spoiling for a fight". Ugh. Crazy making.

Would it be too much to ask: if I was to compose a message to him, could I send it to you privately and get you to review it? I've a tendency to waffle and inject too much humour, which is easily misread.

Silly Sag, getting all teary. *sigh*

even though this is a Taurus forum she will have problems with the Pisces ascendent

they lie a lot and live in fantasy land (the fish). They get bored and love to live in a fake world and if they have been through hell going into game playing fantasy land with women is their coping mechanism.

but even with a Pisces you will know the difference between illusion and reality once they are actually into you - the problem is the Pisces part plays games for so long you start to think its reality (I know the game for 8 years) but its complete bs - they cheat a lot lie a lot and will play with you for years even decades until/unless they find what they are looking for BUT they would be on a plane in 5 seconds to see you if you laid down the line and they want you but you need to disappear on them first big time and mean it and put them in their place. taurus you obviously can't put in their place but everyone knows taurus needs to be the one to decide to make the move on their own not because you said so.

I don't think she even should or needs to ask him be it taurus or Pisces in him where she stands- she would do better disappearing completely and if he comes back to her THEN that is when action strikes. She is just baiting him for game at this point. Better off to show pride and walk away - she will get way more respect after having made countless effort to run after him (big turn off for Pisces can't say for taurus but I imagine no chase = same thing). Especially if he is taken which I would put any money on he is. If his Pisces parts are strong he will be back no question on it.



Words are not really cheating to a man and I have found that with Taurus if the other woman is in another country it's a bit like "allowed" cheating to them and you are actually more desirable to them if in a relationship - so if he wasn't REALLY interested in commitment with HER moving wouldn't help the case at all. ??

my point is his Pisces will happily play along with her so whilst the taurus may be straight up the Pisces ascendent will be problematic

sometimes you can only handle a game in life if you are not in a position to want to be in a relationship so that fills a need at the time as in my case too long a story and possibly the man in question also) - for me it was grief death of parents, lots of stress etc . Mine ended up playing out us living together etc mind you

i dont agree with the Ascendent thing at all I find it plays a HUGE part- but as you say its the posters thread

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by soundsunscene
even though this is a Taurus forum she will have problems with the Pisces ascendent

they lie a lot and live in fantasy land (the fish). They get bored and love to live in a fake world and if they have been through hell going into game playing fantasy land with women is their coping mechanism.

but even with a Pisces you will know the difference between illusion and reality once they are actually into you - the problem is the Pisces part plays games for so long you start to think its reality (I know the game for 8 years) but its complete bs - they cheat a lot lie a lot and will play with you for years even decades until/unless they find what they are looking for BUT they would be on a plane in 5 seconds to see you if you laid down the line and they want you but you need to disappear on them first big time and mean it and put them in their place. taurus you obviously can't put in their place but everyone knows taurus needs to be the one to decide to make the move on their own not because you said so.

I don't think she even should or needs to ask him be it taurus or Pisces in him where she stands- she would do better disappearing completely and if he comes back to her THEN that is when action strikes. She is just baiting him for game at this point. Better off to show pride and walk away - she will get way more respect after having made countless effort to run after him (big turn off for Pisces can't say for taurus but I imagine no chase = same thing). Especially if he is taken which I would put any money on he is. If his Pisces parts are strong he will be back no question on it.



Words are not really cheating to a man and I have found that with Taurus if the other woman is in another country it's a bit like "allowed" cheating to them and you are actually more desirable to them if in a relationship - so if he wasn't REALLY interested in commitment with HER moving wouldn't help the case at all. ??

U r right.. You are not a Taurus...

Walking away from what you desire is game playing.... I say show an honest hand and expect the same in return... As long as he knows he will get his knee caps broken should he break his contract that is all the OP has to worry about...

Relocation does help. She has also started a new life for herself and a new adventure is also good for a sag... She will just pick herself up and dust herself and date new people... That is what sags do.. They are a fire sign... Taurus will be more scared of her if she stands up to him and puts her foot down and let him know she is prepared to walk away...

click to expand

While I do appreciate all the advice and opinion being shared with me, and am finding bits of value in everything, what you are saying resonates with me immensely. I think my Taurus would rather have something logical and straight that he can read and re-read and consider. And I think I need to do this for my own peace of mind.

At the end of the day, if we are not meant to be, then I would wish to move on and find something that is good and healthy and available.

I am usually very much someone who will close a door and not look back. Do you think I'd ever go back to an old flame? Nope. The ship has sailed, I don't have feelings for them any more, beyond "hope you are happy and well". Frustrates me no end this situation. I start to ease the door shut, and he shoves his hoof in it. LOL

I think I came across wrong with the thing about questioning people. No, I don't think it's good to be asking stuff like that all the time. To me it speaks of insecurity and instability. I'm referring to the unhealthiest part of my marriage to the Leo, just before the implosion. I'm analysing my actions/emotions and trying to understand what's behind them. I'm also trying to not be reactionary.

John the Baptist, I would absolutely appreciate your straight talking, blunt help with my message to my Taurus. I'll work up a draft over the next few days, and figure out how to message you privately. Many thanks for your willingness to help me.

Whether it means anything, here is a bit more of my Taurus' chart:

Sun: Taurus

Moon: Leo

Ascendant: Pisces

Mercury: Aries

Venus: Aries

Mars: Capricorn

Jupiter: Sagittarius

Saturn: Taurus

Uranus: Libra

Neptune: Sagittarius

Pluto: Virgo

While I am:

Sun: Sag

Moon: Aries

Ascendant: Aries

Mercury: Capricorn

Venus: Scorpio

Mars: Scorpio

Jupiter: Scorpio

Saturn: Taurus

Uranus: Libra

Neptune: Sag

Pluto: Virgo

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by IndigoSag

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by soundsunscene
even though this is a Taurus forum she will have problems with the Pisces ascendent

they lie a lot and live in fantasy land (the fish). They get bored and love to live in a fake world and if they have been through hell going into game playing fantasy land with women is their coping mechanism.

but even with a Pisces you will know the difference between illusion and reality once they are actually into you - the problem is the Pisces part plays games for so long you start to think its reality (I know the game for 8 years) but its complete bs - they cheat a lot lie a lot and will play with you for years even decades until/unless they find what they are looking for BUT they would be on a plane in 5 seconds to see you if you laid down the line and they want you but you need to disappear on them first big time and mean it and put them in their place. taurus you obviously can't put in their place but everyone knows taurus needs to be the one to decide to make the move on their own not because you said so.

I don't think she even should or needs to ask him be it taurus or Pisces in him where she stands- she would do better disappearing completely and if he comes back to her THEN that is when action strikes. She is just baiting him for game at this point. Better off to show pride and walk away - she will get way more respect after having made countless effort to run after him (big turn off for Pisces can't say for taurus but I imagine no chase = same thing). Especially if he is taken which I would put any money on he is. If his Pisces parts are strong he will be back no question on it.



Words are not really cheating to a man and I have found that with Taurus if the other woman is in another country it's a bit like "allowed" cheating to them and you are actually more desirable to them if in a relationship - so if he wasn't REALLY interested in commitment with HER moving wouldn't help the case at all. ??

U r right.. You are not a Taurus...

Walking away from what you desire is game playing.... I say show an honest hand and expect the same in return... As long as he knows he will get his knee caps broken should he break his contract that is all the OP has to worry about...

Relocation does help. She has also started a new life for herself and a new adventure is also good for a sag... She will just pick herself up and dust herself and date new people... That is what sags do.. They are a fire sign... Taurus will be more scared of her if she stands up to him and puts her foot down and let him know she is prepared to walk away...

While I do appreciate all the advice and opinion being shared with me, and am finding bits of value in everything, what you are saying resonates with me immensely. I think my Taurus would rather have something logical and straight that he can read and re-read and consider. And I think I need to do this for my own peace of mind.

At the end of the day, if we are not meant to be, then I would wish to move on and find something that is good and healthy and available.

I am usually very much someone who will close a door and not look back. Do you think I'd ever go back to an old flame? Nope. The ship has sailed, I don't have feelings for them any more, beyond "hope you are happy and well". Frustrates me no end this situation. I start to ease the door shut, and he shoves his hoof in it. LOL

I think I came across wrong with the thing about questioning people. No, I don't think it's good to be asking stuff like that all the time. To me it speaks of insecurity and instability. I'm referring to the unhealthiest part of my marriage to the Leo, just before the implosion. I'm analysing my actions/emotions and trying to understand what's behind them. I'm also trying to not be reactionary.

John the Baptist, I would absolutely appreciate your straight talking, blunt help with my message to my Taurus. I'll work up a draft over the next few days, and figure out how to message you privately. Many thanks for your willingness to help me.

Whether it means anything, here is a bit more of my Taurus' chart:

Sun: Taurus

Moon: Leo

Ascendant: Pisces

Mercury: Aries

Venus: Aries

Mars: Capricorn

Jupiter: Sagittarius

Saturn: Taurus

Uranus: Libra

Neptune: Sagittarius

Pluto: Virgo

While I am:

Sun: Sag

Moon: Aries

Ascendant: Aries

Mercury: Capricorn

Venus: Scorpio

Mars: Scorpio

Jupiter: Scorpio

Saturn: Taurus

Uranus: Libra

Neptune: Sag

Pluto: Virgo

The thing which stands out in your chart the most is your VIS and he has a VIA...

The problem here is that VIS searches for a deep soul bonding love and the VIA is about the thrill of the chase....

Your emotional water puts water on his fire when instead you need to stand up to him. You have an Aries moon which conjuncts his Venus so use your fire more.. As he is also very firey and can take the heat...

But anythin aries is known for the thrill of the chase and once captured they toss you aside and move on to the next....

click to expand

Well that just sounds difficult. LOL Do you mean I'm in for the thrill of the chase and will toss him aside once captured, or is that him?

Posted by IndigoSag

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by IndigoSag

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by soundsunscene
even though this is a Taurus forum she will have problems with the Pisces ascendent

they lie a lot and live in fantasy land (the fish). They get bored and love to live in a fake world and if they have been through hell going into game playing fantasy land with women is their coping mechanism.

but even with a Pisces you will know the difference between illusion and reality once they are actually into you - the problem is the Pisces part plays games for so long you start to think its reality (I know the game for 8 years) but its complete bs - they cheat a lot lie a lot and will play with you for years even decades until/unless they find what they are looking for BUT they would be on a plane in 5 seconds to see you if you laid down the line and they want you but you need to disappear on them first big time and mean it and put them in their place. taurus you obviously can't put in their place but everyone knows taurus needs to be the one to decide to make the move on their own not because you said so.

I don't think she even should or needs to ask him be it taurus or Pisces in him where she stands- she would do better disappearing completely and if he comes back to her THEN that is when action strikes. She is just baiting him for game at this point. Better off to show pride and walk away - she will get way more respect after having made countless effort to run after him (big turn off for Pisces can't say for taurus but I imagine no chase = same thing). Especially if he is taken which I would put any money on he is. If his Pisces parts are strong he will be back no question on it.



Words are not really cheating to a man and I have found that with Taurus if the other woman is in another country it's a bit like "allowed" cheating to them and you are actually more desirable to them if in a relationship - so if he wasn't REALLY interested in commitment with HER moving wouldn't help the case at all. ??

U r right.. You are not a Taurus...

Walking away from what you desire is game playing.... I say show an honest hand and expect the same in return... As long as he knows he will get his knee caps broken should he break his contract that is all the OP has to worry about...

Relocation does help. She has also started a new life for herself and a new adventure is also good for a sag... She will just pick herself up and dust herself and date new people... That is what sags do.. They are a fire sign... Taurus will be more scared of her if she stands up to him and puts her foot down and let him know she is prepared to walk away...

While I do appreciate all the advice and opinion being shared with me, and am finding bits of value in everything, what you are saying resonates with me immensely. I think my Taurus would rather have something logical and straight that he can read and re-read and consider. And I think I need to do this for my own peace of mind.

At the end of the day, if we are not meant to be, then I would wish to move on and find something that is good and healthy and available.

I am usually very much someone who will close a door and not look back. Do you think I'd ever go back to an old flame? Nope. The ship has sailed, I don't have feelings for them any more, beyond "hope you are happy and well". Frustrates me no end this situation. I start to ease the door shut, and he shoves his hoof in it. LOL

I think I came across wrong with the thing about questioning people. No, I don't think it's good to be asking stuff like that all the time. To me it speaks of insecurity and instability. I'm referring to the unhealthiest part of my marriage to the Leo, just before the implosion. I'm analysing my actions/emotions and trying to understand what's behind them. I'm also trying to not be reactionary.

John the Baptist, I would absolutely appreciate your straight talking, blunt help with my message to my Taurus. I'll work up a draft over the next few days, and figure out how to message you privately. Many thanks for your willingness to help me.

Whether it means anything, here is a bit more of my Taurus' chart:

Sun: Taurus

Moon: Leo

Ascendant: Pisces

Mercury: Aries

Venus: Aries

Mars: Capricorn

Jupiter: Sagittarius

Saturn: Taurus

Uranus: Libra

Neptune: Sagittarius

Pluto: Virgo

While I am:

Sun: Sag

Moon: Aries

Ascendant: Aries

Mercury: Capricorn

Venus: Scorpio

Mars: Scorpio

Jupiter: Scorpio

Saturn: Taurus

Uranus: Libra

Neptune: Sag

Pluto: Virgo

The thing which stands out in your chart the most is your VIS and he has a VIA...

The problem here is that VIS searches for a deep soul bonding love and the VIA is about the thrill of the chase....

Your emotional water puts water on his fire when instead you need to stand up to him. You have an Aries moon which conjuncts his Venus so use your fire more.. As he is also very firey and can take the heat...

But anythin aries is known for the thrill of the chase and once captured they toss you aside and move on to the next....

Well that just sounds difficult. LOL Do you mean I'm in for the thrill of the chase and will toss him aside once captured, or is that him?

click to expand

Oh, I looked it up - you mean his Aries in Venus. Gotcha!

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by Crazy4u

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by jeane
Now you be friends. Don't abandon him at his lowest time. If you truly want this guy, think he is the one for you and trust that he has good intentions, then be the best friend he has had by giving him what he needs at this time.

Love truly is selfless and kind.

This is not to say be a doormat. Have your boundaries and stick to them but I can't see why you wouldn't give him your friendship and support.

Like John has said before they need to know you will be there for them through thick and thin, just like they would for you. If you walk away, that speaks volumes about the type of person you are.

But one thing I have to say OP (my sister is also a sag), I have noticed that you guys cry alot... That is something us earthlings are not good at understanding. In fact emotions like this makes us nervous. I have had turmoil with my current beau but have never resorted to leaving tearful messages of emotion on the phone... We don't respond in an emotional manner. It makes us feel even more guilty and we retreat instead. We can't deal with it.

If you are hurt and upset.. Speak in a logical way, point by point manner. State clearly your needs and what you need to make the situation better. Even put your emotions in a text but make it coherent and concise. Think logic not emotion until you have formed a deep emotional connection with us and even then, put your emotions in a logical format... We run from emotions as we do feel very deeply.

This all day long. I've known my Taurus 17 yrs total! He is like no one else but when we talk if I am upset about it he wants to know all the details to solve it. Plus I better be crying for a good reason. i personally like it as I'm usually very logical but if I get tipped over the edge I need to be brought down to earth. Get your thoughts together which can sometimes be hard, but know they are just like that and it is not you.

Exactly this..

We have emotions to but we will not let them over run us... That's when the logical part steps in and takes over.... Or our emotions stay buried deep beneath the earth until we explode hence our bad tempers.

Whereas a water sign will let their emotions run them over until the well is empty..... Especially Pisces!

click to expand

I envy the logic, truly! To experience emotion in a way that washes away all logical thought is quite difficult. Though I'm sure many a Taurus missed out on something wonderful when their logic created a barrier they logically couldn't surmount, when love can conquer all.

My Taurus has told me I over think everything. He's told me he feels more for me than he could ever express, deeper than he can say, and he's cried and expressed a desire to not lose me from his life.

But then he's gone again. There are no actions to support the words.

In the intense phone call where we both cried, I asked him what should I do next. And he said, just check in on me, and I'll check in on you too. And he texted me the next few days in a row...and then he was gone again. A few more texts around my birthday a month later, and then he was gone again.

I'm frustrated with myself because I thought I was being so careful, kept checking in with my Taurus to make sure he was a safe place to put my heart. Over and over again he said yes, yes, yes, that was exactly what he wanted. And then when it's done and I've fallen, he's gone!

Seems to be a common Taurus trait.

I'm drafting up a letter to my Taurus. I'm scared to send it, I'm scared not to send it. I wish I could just be getting on with my life, like all the advice I've read says to do. But what does that look like when it comes to my heart? I should just get out and have a few relationships so my Taurus can see me as desirable and someone worth pursuing and having - more advice I've read. But that's not how my heart works. I told my Taurus that right at the start. *sigh* I'm not going to be looking for any relationships. This needs to start or end before I'm emotionally available to anyone for anything else.

I want to punch my Taurus in the face for being such a jerk and messing with me when I tried so hard to be careful, and I told him what I was like. I want to kick myself in the arse for being so bloody hung up on this man!

I want to lie on the floor and have a great big Sag tantrum fit and rant about not getting my own way!

But really what I want is to understand my situation. Understand if this is a hopeless case. Understand if this Taurus is a bad egg and will never do right by me. Or understand that this Taurus is a Taurus who after 2 failed relationships, just can't move any faster than he is moving. I don't want to walk away from somebody I shouldn't walk away from. I don't want to stay in a situation I shouldn't stay in.

And I can't intuit the right answer, because I'm too bloody emotional. LOL

John, I'm nearly done drafting my letter, if you are still open to "critiquing" it for me, I have sent you a private message, hopefully I did it right. I'll wait to hear from you via PM about that.

Posted by Crazy4u

Posted by IndigoSag

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by Crazy4u

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by jeane
Now you be friends. Don't abandon him at his lowest time. If you truly want this guy, think he is the one for you and trust that he has good intentions, then be the best friend he has had by giving him what he needs at this time.

Love truly is selfless and kind.

This is not to say be a doormat. Have your boundaries and stick to them but I can't see why you wouldn't give him your friendship and support.

Like John has said before they need to know you will be there for them through thick and thin, just like they would for you. If you walk away, that speaks volumes about the type of person you are.

But one thing I have to say OP (my sister is also a sag), I have noticed that you guys cry alot... That is something us earthlings are not good at understanding. In fact emotions like this makes us nervous. I have had turmoil with my current beau but have never resorted to leaving tearful messages of emotion on the phone... We don't respond in an emotional manner. It makes us feel even more guilty and we retreat instead. We can't deal with it.

If you are hurt and upset.. Speak in a logical way, point by point manner. State clearly your needs and what you need to make the situation better. Even put your emotions in a text but make it coherent and concise. Think logic not emotion until you have formed a deep emotional connection with us and even then, put your emotions in a logical format... We run from emotions as we do feel very deeply.

This all day long. I've known my Taurus 17 yrs total! He is like no one else but when we talk if I am upset about it he wants to know all the details to solve it. Plus I better be crying for a good reason. i personally like it as I'm usually very logical but if I get tipped over the edge I need to be brought down to earth. Get your thoughts together which can sometimes be hard, but know they are just like that and it is not you.

Exactly this..

We have emotions to but we will not let them over run us... That's when the logical part steps in and takes over.... Or our emotions stay buried deep beneath the earth until we explode hence our bad tempers.

Whereas a water sign will let their emotions run them over until the well is empty..... Especially Pisces!

I envy the logic, truly! To experience emotion in a way that washes away all logical thought is quite difficult. Though I'm sure many a Taurus missed out on something wonderful when their logic created a barrier they logically couldn't surmount, when love can conquer all.

My Taurus has told me I over think everything. He's told me he feels more for me than he could ever express, deeper than he can say, and he's cried and expressed a desire to not lose me from his life.

But then he's gone again. There are no actions to support the words.

In the intense phone call where we both cried, I asked him what should I do next. And he said, just check in on me, and I'll check in on you too. And he texted me the next few days in a row...and then he was gone again. A few more texts around my birthday a month later, and then he was gone again.

I'm frustrated with myself because I thought I was being so careful, kept checking in with my Taurus to make sure he was a safe place to put my heart. Over and over again he said yes, yes, yes, that was exactly what he wanted. And then when it's done and I've fallen, he's gone!

Seems to be a common Taurus trait.

I'm drafting up a letter to my Taurus. I'm scared to send it, I'm scared not to send it. I wish I could just be getting on with my life, like all the advice I've read says to do. But what does that look like when it comes to my heart? I should just get out and have a few relationships so my Taurus can see me as desirable and someone worth pursuing and having - more advice I've read. But that's not how my heart works. I told my Taurus that right at the start. *sigh* I'm not going to be looking for any relationships. This needs to start or end before I'm emotionally available to anyone for anything else.

I want to punch my Taurus in the face for being such a jerk and messing with me when I tried so hard to be careful, and I told him what I was like. I want to kick myself in the arse for being so bloody hung up on this man!

I want to lie on the floor and have a great big Sag tantrum fit and rant about not getting my own way!

But really what I want is to understand my situation. Understand if this is a hopeless case. Understand if this Taurus is a bad egg and will never do right by me. Or understand that this Taurus is a Taurus who after 2 failed relationships, just can't move any faster than he is moving. I don't want to walk away from somebody I shouldn't walk away from. I don't want to stay in a situation I shouldn't stay in.

And I can't intuit the right answer, because I'm too bloody emotional. LOL

John, I'm nearly done drafting my letter, if you are still open to "critiquing" it for me, I have sent you a private message, hopefully I did it right. I'll wait to hear from you via PM about that.

I understand what you're saying. That push pull/hot cold feeling. Sometimes I wonder if it is what we are used to. That is, most men when they want you, are around or not, if they aren't interested.

I found with my Taurus (which I can only really appreciate now) is he has always been there, around somewhere. For something. No fan fares or crazy gestures but just there. I dont look at his silences the same anymore as I don't take it personally now. When I want to say something I just msg or call. He will respond but sometimes I won't hear from him unless I contact him. But we would talk for over an hour sometimes. I used to wonder why he didn't call me first.

He is a bit emotionally guarded too at the moment so I guess it really is just perseverance and coming to terms with the fact that you will perhaps have to be patient and see what happens or just remain friends and move on. Don't put pressure on the decision. That is what can make it worse and emotions heightened. Let it flow. When you have had enough you will know

click to expand

Oh my gosh, thank you. Yes, when my Taurus and I talk, it's never shorter than an hour, and frequently 2 to 4 hours long. He just doesn't want to end the call! In the beginning, he was the one who initiated all the long talks. He wanted to go from text messages to Skype, and he would initiate all the calls.

He is quite emotionally guarded, and I wonder if the times I've gotten over the wall and he's exposed some of the real feeling - and he will expose some very raw stuff to me at times - what happens to him after that. Definitely he retreats.

I have put pressure on a decision, because I came so far and I thought he was waiting. He told me he wants to give me quality not quantity, and can't give me quality at the moment. That he is not able to have a relationship at the moment. He phrased it "It's not just you I can't have a relationship with. If a woman walked down the street tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with her." I think that was supposed to reassure me. LOL

Every time I think I've had enough, I find I've a bit more in reserve, and I calm my farm.

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
OP, what you have to realise is that your sun elements work in a completely different way.

The element of earth is grounded and at a standstill unless there is a volcano lol

The element of fire is hot and is constantly moving...

To get with a Taurus understand these two elements. If a Taurus has a lot things going on whether financial, work, relocating, children, exes anything new will be forced to the back of their minds. They are not the types to multitask. So all the other stuff will come before anything else...

If a Taurus male cannot give you a full on relationship because the "practicalities of life" have got in the way he will disconnect parts of his brain and only concentrate on those things he feels are urgent to deal with whether it be his kids, money problems etc. He will tell you He will tell you he can't give you a full relationship and then it is for you to either wait till he has cleared up some of the mess so he can give you some attention or move on..

When I say decide to wait or move on with your life... It means don't sit by a phone or have too high expectations. Go out with the girls have fun do your normal hobbies.. Ie live your life... If another guy comes and you fall for him then perhaps your Taurus was not meant for you afterall... That is why tauruses don't really expect people to wait for them as the majority of people don't have that stamina or patience..

That is why to have a Taurus male in your life you need enormous amounts of patience..

If you have a deep emotional connection with a Taurus you can go for months and still feel his "presence". You are not apart - he is always with you. Therefore months could pass until you reconnect and it is like there was no distance between you at all. You feel it within your soul that he is within you and you are within him.

I hope this makes sense.

With a Taurus you cannot force something on him if he is not in a position to give you his all as other things have got in the way.. You learn to live at his pace or move on and find someone else.

When he says check in it just means every few weeks just text to say hi how are you and vice versa. You have to adapt to his "rhythm". When they are connected to you they have a rhythm that you will understand. Their "disappearing" will be no surprise to you as you will know that is a part of their rhythm. A Taurus man will always have this in them.

A Taurus man who is true and loyal is the best you can get and he will look after you so well, but there is a lot of work to be done before you can get your hands permanently on one and that's where loyalty and Enduring patience comes in.

And "dating others" was the mentality of sag which I don't like. Sags are great but their loyalty is not the sort of loyalty a Taurus looks for.

If the Taurus is back in your life but cannot give you the attention you want and he is not dating other but find out you are that will be the final nail in the coffin...

A Taurus man knows they are hard to deal with and take patience and this is the part that worries them.. They don't meet enough high calibre women who can endure with them the length of time that is required without that woman needing the attention of other men and dating others men.

A Taurus looks for a woman who he is into and is into him and understands that life is difficult but she will stand by him and get to know him and become his bestfriend and will he with ONLY him. This is where sags fail.

Yes, I am definitely all hot and constantly moving. LOL

I'm also up for an adventure. And understanding that quality in myself, it's easy for me to be willing to be the one that moves to him. I'm fortunate that I work for myself, and as long as I have an internet connection, I can work and earn. I've been doing the same job for the last 15 years, doesn't matter what country I'm in.

My Taurus said to me in one of our Skype talks during the period when he was actively making plans with me that he was sorry I was the one that had to do all the hard work for us to be together. There was a lot of sincerity and a hint of sadness to this statement.

His job is very demanding. He is a corrections officer in a youth detention centre. 12 hour shifts. And what he encounters on a daily basis is very confronting and at times dangerous. He has not seen his children in several years as he does not have an amicable relationship with his ex-wife. With the ex-long-term relationship, she was his partner for 6 years, and his hostile housemate for 2 years.

If I am honest, I can't see him being emotionally able to offer me anything this year. He has only been fully free of his long-term ex since the end of October. I think he hoped he would be able to "detox" that relationship quickly, which is funny really. Time doesn't move for him like it does for me! Talking last week, he couldn't believe January was already finished, while I was like "is this month ever going to end?"

In our emotional phone call last November, I said I just wanted him to see that I was loyal, dependable, stable, not going anywhere, had his best interests at heart, that I was good relationship material. And he said "What makes you think I don't see that?"

So maybe he's giving me all the signs he can in his Taurus way?

I am learning to have patience, and the battle is real! I think my Taurus loves the heat, but does need to see it's a steady flame. I don't know whether the trip in October was good or bad. It was very bittersweet. The first night all he wanted to do was nestle his face in my neck and hold me. The second night we ate in the room, while watching a comedy, and laughed and laughed. It was comfortable and slow. A gentle kiss on the face while we're snuggling and watching TV in bed. But when we were out and about, he would not hold my hand, or touch me at all in public. And he was a little relentless with the teasing! I've got an offbeat sense of humour, like he has, but at one point he went overboard and actually hurt my feelings. When I told him I didn't understand why he'd said what he'd said, and that I'd found it hurtful, he immediately apologised and said that was not his intention.

Nail on the head, John, a lot of the "you just need to get out and date other people" advice is coming from my fellow Sag's. And it's peeving me! How you describe "getting on with life" is what I do want to be doing. Being back in Australia and finding it feels so foreign, I'm very homesick for my old life in the US, and I think this is half my struggle at the moment. I don't have the support networks I had, the social life I had, the roles and activities I participated in, in my community. I have to keep working on rebuilding my life. I'm not interested in "dating". I'm emotionally unavailable, and I have no desire to be getting physical with anybody but my Taurus. I actually can't bear the thought of another man touching me! (And my Taurus knows that.) I definitely don't need the attention of other men or to be dating other men.

My Taurus on the other hand, has let me know that he does on occasion do casual hook ups. He's told me he is monogamous when he enters into a relationship, but when he is not in a relationship, he enjoys these physical liaisons. Hurts my heart and I feel sad about that.

I am appreciating very much the insight you and Crazy are offering me. I have loving friends, but I do not talk to them about my Taurus any more, as I am sick to death of them badmouthing him.

Being that you can't force something with a Taurus, I'm thinking that maybe writing a letter is cathartic for me, but sending a letter will only come across as me trying to force him into something he can't do at this point in time. I can set everything out logically, but at the end of the day, the letter will have an ultimatum: step up or get lost. But I don't want him to get lost.

I want me to be patient and get on with my life, and I want him to have the time he needs.

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by IndigoSag

Posted by Crazy4u

Posted by IndigoSag

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by Crazy4u

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by jeane
Now you be friends. Don't abandon him at his lowest time. If you truly want this guy, think he is the one for you and trust that he has good intentions, then be the best friend he has had by giving him what he needs at this time.

Love truly is selfless and kind.

This is not to say be a doormat. Have your boundaries and stick to them but I can't see why you wouldn't give him your friendship and support.

Like John has said before they need to know you will be there for them through thick and thin, just like they would for you. If you walk away, that speaks volumes about the type of person you are.

But one thing I have to say OP (my sister is also a sag), I have noticed that you guys cry alot... That is something us earthlings are not good at understanding. In fact emotions like this makes us nervous. I have had turmoil with my current beau but have never resorted to leaving tearful messages of emotion on the phone... We don't respond in an emotional manner. It makes us feel even more guilty and we retreat instead. We can't deal with it.

If you are hurt and upset.. Speak in a logical way, point by point manner. State clearly your needs and what you need to make the situation better. Even put your emotions in a text but make it coherent and concise. Think logic not emotion until you have formed a deep emotional connection with us and even then, put your emotions in a logical format... We run from emotions as we do feel very deeply.

This all day long. I've known my Taurus 17 yrs total! He is like no one else but when we talk if I am upset about it he wants to know all the details to solve it. Plus I better be crying for a good reason. i personally like it as I'm usually very logical but if I get tipped over the edge I need to be brought down to earth. Get your thoughts together which can sometimes be hard, but know they are just like that and it is not you.

Exactly this..

We have emotions to but we will not let them over run us... That's when the logical part steps in and takes over.... Or our emotions stay buried deep beneath the earth until we explode hence our bad tempers.

Whereas a water sign will let their emotions run them over until the well is empty..... Especially Pisces!

I envy the logic, truly! To experience emotion in a way that washes away all logical thought is quite difficult. Though I'm sure many a Taurus missed out on something wonderful when their logic created a barrier they logically couldn't surmount, when love can conquer all.

My Taurus has told me I over think everything. He's told me he feels more for me than he could ever express, deeper than he can say, and he's cried and expressed a desire to not lose me from his life.

But then he's gone again. There are no actions to support the words.

In the intense phone call where we both cried, I asked him what should I do next. And he said, just check in on me, and I'll check in on you too. And he texted me the next few days in a row...and then he was gone again. A few more texts around my birthday a month later, and then he was gone again.

I'm frustrated with myself because I thought I was being so careful, kept checking in with my Taurus to make sure he was a safe place to put my heart. Over and over again he said yes, yes, yes, that was exactly what he wanted. And then when it's done and I've fallen, he's gone!

Seems to be a common Taurus trait.

I'm drafting up a letter to my Taurus. I'm scared to send it, I'm scared not to send it. I wish I could just be getting on with my life, like all the advice I've read says to do. But what does that look like when it comes to my heart? I should just get out and have a few relationships so my Taurus can see me as desirable and someone worth pursuing and having - more advice I've read. But that's not how my heart works. I told my Taurus that right at the start. *sigh* I'm not going to be looking for any relationships. This needs to start or end before I'm emotionally available to anyone for anything else.

I want to punch my Taurus in the face for being such a jerk and messing with me when I tried so hard to be careful, and I told him what I was like. I want to kick myself in the arse for being so bloody hung up on this man!

I want to lie on the floor and have a great big Sag tantrum fit and rant about not getting my own way!

But really what I want is to understand my situation. Understand if this is a hopeless case. Understand if this Taurus is a bad egg and will never do right by me. Or understand that this Taurus is a Taurus who after 2 failed relationships, just can't move any faster than he is moving. I don't want to walk away from somebody I shouldn't walk away from. I don't want to stay in a situation I shouldn't stay in.

And I can't intuit the right answer, because I'm too bloody emotional. LOL

John, I'm nearly done drafting my letter, if you are still open to "critiquing" it for me, I have sent you a private message, hopefully I did it right. I'll wait to hear from you via PM about that.

I understand what you're saying. That push pull/hot cold feeling. Sometimes I wonder if it is what we are used to. That is, most men when they want you, are around or not, if they aren't interested.

I found with my Taurus (which I can only really appreciate now) is he has always been there, around somewhere. For something. No fan fares or crazy gestures but just there. I dont look at his silences the same anymore as I don't take it personally now. When I want to say something I just msg or call. He will respond but sometimes I won't hear from him unless I contact him. But we would talk for over an hour sometimes. I used to wonder why he didn't call me first.

He is a bit emotionally guarded too at the moment so I guess it really is just perseverance and coming to terms with the fact that you will perhaps have to be patient and see what happens or just remain friends and move on. Don't put pressure on the decision. That is what can make it worse and emotions heightened. Let it flow. When you have had enough you will know

Oh my gosh, thank you. Yes, when my Taurus and I talk, it's never shorter than an hour, and frequently 2 to 4 hours long. He just doesn't want to end the call! In the beginning, he was the one who initiated all the long talks. He wanted to go from text messages to Skype, and he would initiate all the calls.

He is quite emotionally guarded, and I wonder if the times I've gotten over the wall and he's exposed some of the real feeling - and he will expose some very raw stuff to me at times - what happens to him after that. Definitely he retreats.

I have put pressure on a decision, because I came so far and I thought he was waiting. He told me he wants to give me quality not quantity, and can't give me quality at the moment. That he is not able to have a relationship at the moment. He phrased it "It's not just you I can't have a relationship with. If a woman walked down the street tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with her." I think that was supposed to reassure me. LOL

Every time I think I've had enough, I find I've a bit more in reserve, and I calm my farm.

As C4U said, u will know when it's time..... At least he is being honest with you and giving you a choice...

click to expand

Yes, I think he is being honest about where he is at. I'll find my place of calm again. Sometimes it's a godsend when I don't hear from him, because there can be calmness in me. Sometimes the contact riles me up way too much. Anyhow, he does have a message from me from last weekend where I've asked him to call when he has time so I can get his advice on an issue I'm having. I've had no response, but I'm sure I will at some point. Probably in a few weeks. I think he is careful to not have too much contact because he senses I get a bit rile up. I'm proud of myself for the recent contact, maybe I sent one text message more than I needed to, but I haven't escalated and bombed his phone out. Yah for me! I'm sure he is appreciating that.

I frequently wonder why he doesn't just block me. I told him he would have to be cruel to me so I could get over him and move on. He said he didn't want to be cruel to me. Slowly, slowly, I am learning to reign in the forest fire, and keep the flame low and steady.

I can't help but appreciate the opportunity for personal growth and self-reflection my Taurus gives me.

When I've said "people tell me I should tell you to fluff off," he has said "people don't understand what we've been through and what we are to each other."