Should I cut him off ? Was he playing me ?

You clearly arent interested in reading anything that has been written or advised here, so one has to wonder why are you here?

Not sure why you keep trying to act like are the innocent victim here, when you are in a relationship. He has done no wrong to you, you are not his gf, so he can date however many other women he wants. You on the otherhand are not single, he knows that, so why would he wait for you? He's single and able to date around.

Sorry, you wont gain much sympathy from me here, especially if you cant own up to your wrong doings.

Dear, you're still in a relationship no?

Posted by Virgo30
I consider my relationship as one you have with a roommate, he knows I'might leaving.. we talked about it and he agreed..

But you said...

Posted by Virgo30
He was of course disappointed at first of me not being single.. But I told him that for now we could be friends and in the near future

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So dear Virgo30 which is it? Single or your roommate?
Eitherway, your situation feeeels complicated. You have a lot going on, too much so to be demanding or expecting a relationship from this man. As much as he may like you, you do not seem settled or ready to embark on something new. I dont think you are being fair at all in your perspective on the situation. He is single, he has no complicated relationship or living situation with a (former) lover, he does not have an ongoing health condition, and his career is not up in the air. This is not to make you feel bad about your situation, but to only highlight how much you really do have on your plate, and to be quite frank with you, most people are going to look at your circumstances objectively and realize that it is not something they want to get involved with too deeply.

Simply put, you have a lot of baggage and a lot going on in your own personal life that needs some clarity and resolve.

You told him you wanted to be his friend and you have to be prepared for that outcome. Yes, you have slept with him, but it is quite hard to move yourself from a very casual sexual situation, to a romantic relationship. You need to understand that until he asks you to be his gf, that you are not and he is open to seeing other women.

@Virgo30 First of all calm down and let him go for some time, at least until you are still married. When you finally get free you ll see does he have real feelings for you or not, (I doubt that as he's seeing others too). I feel so sorry for you, you seem very honest woman and I wish you all the best. But he needs to respect you, and it seems he doesn't. Prove him that you are worth it. Be real Virgo woman, go ice cold, you ladies can do that just great.

@pisceanloves: thank you for your message and advice. Fortunately we are not married and we don't have kids together.. so it's just a question of maybe 1 more month and I will go away from the house..

@busyeyes: Why are you so angry ?? Please read my post above..

why do you choose to create drama when you dont have to?

"for reasons that I'm not here to explain..

i dont think he's playing you. I think hes just a single man dating.

@DMV: thanks for your opinion.. it might be that.. He told me in fact many times that for him the dating time for him is very long.. and as I was very stable for him, with all the breaks I asked him, changing my mind every 2 days..

Posted by CruellaWhite
gets popcorn!

U always gotta get the popcorn out the moment shitty eyes shows up lol!

Posted by CruellaWhite
Yes....he playing you. HE WILL MAKE MINCEMEAT OUT OF YOU

At least he's being staight up about the fact there is others. She aint completely in the dark. He's covered his ass and whatever happens here on she cannot blame him.

Ok got it, he's playing me.. and I deserve it for such an awful woman I am.. happy ?

I'm glad I made somebody happy this evening !

@OP
take time to see how will things go...don't get to attached ... sort thing out in your life with this other man...if the taurus is into you, he will understand and wait...and whatever is bothering you, tell him...
i personally wouldn't bother with this guy...not worth...

I don't really understand the joy you have in offending? We have an agreement regarding the payment of the rent together, so it's not that simple..

Not a good idea to be pursuing a man whilst still shacked up with an ex-personally because I wouldn't want to attract the type of man that would accept that so i'd just stay away from putting myself in that situation altogether

@CruellaWhite: Yes, me and my Taurus guy we'll eventually speak.. when we told me the truth 2 days ago, I was provoking in a playful manner "tell me how many of them are?" almost laughing, he said "yes, they were another 2 but when I'll be back after 3 weeks I want only one, you".. for him this was a moment to let me think he will now be more serious about me.. but anyway, even if I was wrong to pretend loyalty, I was loyal to him and felt hurt..
When I asked him yesterday if he would see the others, he said "no"..
My intention was to leave him for the last 3 years, but I got injured, is not something terrible.. I'm on the way to get better.. so I couldn't leave yet the house, I still do help him with the house and the rent.. The idea was to heal first and then move.. but than I met this Taurus guy, and at first I handled it well, kept him at a distance.. then I was afraid as he was going away for a month, I will lose the chance to get to know him and make him interested in me.. It's not like is the first time I meet men, it happened with him.. because he started his courtship in such a romantic and traditional way, that I thought he was unique and I won't find another like him..
"Covering my ass".. you could say that.. but just try to imagine in a 10 years long relationship, how many times me and him "covered" each other's back..
And yes, my Taurus guy was cautious with his heart, I'm cautious with my life.. I'm taking small steps.. plus I don't have anybody else from my family, I have only my father who is living in another country..
Life is not so easy and I might seem selfish, but I don't want to find myself in an ugly situation.. I will though take my risks and start all over again my life, without any help, not even having a moral support..

@hera: Thank you

@LibraLovesHim: that why I was being all together a bit cold with him, besides having my doubts, while he was still asking me why I'm not supportive with his career and I never comment on his posts.. that he has done so much for me and I don't appreciate him..

@SensitiveBlues: 5000 women friends on Facebook was a red flag for me too.. then he cancelled from the list, now he'said down to 1400, he said he did that for me.. so I could start to trust him..

Posted by Virgo30
@CruellaWhite: Yes, me and my Taurus guy we'll eventually speak.. when we told me the truth 2 days ago, I was provoking in a playful manner "tell me how many of them are?" almost laughing, he said "yes, they were another 2 but when I'll be back after 3 weeks I want only one, you".. for him this was a moment to let me think he will now be more serious about me.. but anyway, even if I was wrong to pretend loyalty, I was loyal to him and felt hurt..
When I asked him yesterday if he would see the others, he said "no"..
My intention was to leave him for the last 3 years, but I got injured, is not something terrible.. I'm on the way to get better.. so I couldn't leave yet the house, I still do help him with the house and the rent.. The idea was to heal first and then move.. but than I met this Taurus guy, and at first I handled it well, kept him at a distance.. then I was afraid as he was going away for a month, I will lose the chance to get to know him and make him interested in me.. It's not like is the first time I meet men, it happened with him.. because he started his courtship in such a romantic and traditional way, that I thought he was unique and I won't find another like him..
"Covering my ass".. you could say that.. but just try to imagine in a 10 years long relationship, how many times me and him "covered" each other's back..
And yes, my Taurus guy was cautious with his heart, I'm cautious with my life.. I'm taking small steps.. plus I don't have anybody else from my family, I have only my father who is living in another country..
Life is not so easy and I might seem selfish, but I don't want to find myself in an ugly situation.. I will though take my risks and start all over again my life, without any help, not even having a moral support..

this. you're covering your ass as you say or as i would say hedging your bets. you've hedged you bets with the current guy, the taurus, shit even this thread is about hedging your bets.

the taurus was hedging his bets with you too. i guess like really does attract like.

Posted by Virgo30
@malloryor: your words are a bit tough.. but I appreciate and thank you for them.. It seems more complicated that it really is..

It may seem this way to you, but if me and a few other readers are sensing your dynamic as being a "bit" complicated, then I am quite sure he senses that too. And can you really blame him? You have a medical condition, aren't working because of it, and living with a man that you said ORIGINALLY on here and to him that you were in a relationship. Now you've changed it to being that you're single because you and the man you originally called your partner, do not have sex. I'm sorry hun but it is confusing. At this point this isn't about judgment because if I am to be honest I don't know what the hell is going on, but what I do know is that your situation sounds very messy and drama filled.

Men like things that are simple, comfortable, and when they sense complicated situations, they may entertain it for a moment but it wears off rather quickly.

Posted by Virgo30 Yes I know I was wrong to start anything with this Taurus guy that I like.. I said before I was not single, but would have explained afterwards that we are not intimately involved anymore,

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I'm sorry but either you are single or you're not. No longer having sex with someone you are in a relationship with does not suddenly mean you are free of a bf, fiance, husband or whatever this man that you live is to you. Until you two have officially broken things off, you two are still very much a couple. I can almost bet on my life this is another reason why this man is dating around instead of committing to you, because one minute you say you are in a relationship and the next you say you are single, all the while living with this other man. Honestly, most people wouldn't feel comfortable with that situation and I don't think you would either...

He may have acted like he did not mind your circumstance with your ex (bf?), roommate, whatever...but it comes down to respect at the end of the day. I'm not entirely sure what really is the true nature of your relationship with your roommate, but I am certain that if this relationship with this Taurus began why you were indeed still within a relationship (remember you told him you were not single), then he may have already categorized you as just someone to have fun within, instead of the type of woman he can consider himself to commit to. 😢

Posted by Virgo30 He is single, you're right.. but he begged me many times not to let him slip through my fingers, to keep pursuing him.. do prove him that I'may there for him, and not not have doubts anymore about him.. to give time of what we have and not let him go over and over again..I told him many times that I need to do this first, move and clear my situation, get a job.. but he was very offended, he said I broke his heart.. And that he wanted me consistently in his life.. You can't even imagine how many times I said no to him, that we should take a break.. and every time he would start calling me or text me, that he can't take this anymore, me wanting him and the next day I didn't anymore.. And that he became cold sometimes with texting because he didn't feel appreciated..

You should not chase a man. When you do that you effectively take all accountability from him, and you're left doing ALL of the work, giving ALLof yourself and still left wondering where do you stand—

If he was truly serious about going the long haul with you, he would of let you sort out your life, been patient and waited until you were ready. It seems to me that he rushed you into doing things at his pace.

Posted by Virgo30
He also has a baggage, a dark past, that he has told me about, he is poor, he has just started his career.. I was the one who was not interested in the fact that he hasn't got a car, or enough money, that he needs me to help him become a better man.. Unlike the majority of the women he liked before and never wanted to see him the second time, just because he didn't own a car ( his words).. I took the bus to get to him for the past weeks.. and I can assure you that a woman in her 30 would expect from him, at his 30 an established man.. He even lost his house, because of his mistakes.. But I didn't judge him, I wanted him still.. Because I believe in him, that he can do it..
And he also supported me with has my health issues.. I did the same with him..
I know, maybe I am wrong to pretend or expect his loyalty to me, just because I was loyal to him..
But he was so intense in proving how much he wanted me in his life, and I have never before experienced such a physical connection, abd started to have feelings, that I was afraid to lose him..

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Why do you want this? Is it possible that you're settling because you missed the feeling of romance? 😢 I won't judge because I understand, but when women sacrifice and give a man their undivided devotion like this it often comes at their own expense. He has nothing to bring to the table and you are without the commitment you desire, so what do you have?

Posted by Virgo30
@SensitiveBlues: 5000 women friends on Facebook was a red flag for me too.. then he cancelled from the list, now he'said down to 1400, he said he did that for me.. so I could start to trust him..

Cool story

Posted by LibraLovesHim
Not a good idea to be pursuing a man whilst still shacked up with an ex-personally because I wouldn't want to attract the type of man that would accept that so i'd just stay away from putting myself in that situation altogether

+1 The lack of character here...behind those charming smiles and baby blues, OP he has already showed you his character. Sort your shit out with that bf/ex and move out before you begin dating again or else you will only continue to attract snakes in the grass.

Posted by PV&Jellay
5000 female Facebook friends? He sounds like the type of guy who would either ask you for money, trick you into carrying a suitcase full of drugs through the airport, or traffic you into an illegal prostitution ring. Uh uh.

I second this.

Posted by Virgo30
@Malloryor: I understand what you're saying to me.. and thank you for taking the time to do that.. you are very mature and intelligent for your 24 years old..
I'm making mistakes because I am out the 'dating" thing for 10 years. When me and my ex/roomate/friend ( I don't know myself how to call him) things were much easier.. Is it difficult to understand, since he told me that I am free to do whatever I want, and he will not be in my way if I find a good and serious man, since he cannot offer me what I need most, which is build a future together, have a family, kids and be married.. he doesn't believe in marriage and he sees children only as "problems"..
Me and the Taurus guy communicated a lot, and he said even if my situation is complicated for now, he understands me and he will be patient.. I guess he wasn't that patient, maybe because of his job being a soldier, the fact that he goes away often for weeks..
Maybe at the beginning he was infatuated by me, he believed that he could do that and he thought that I will find sooner a solution to move to my own place.. but then as you said, he got less and less enthusiastic..
I don't think he categorized me at the beginning as just somebody to have fun with.. he did things that with others didn't.. flowers, romance, going to Verona..
But I don't think now, as I see clearly the situation, that he would have committed to me right away even if I were living by myself and be free.. He is a Taurus and from what I've heard it takes them a long time to commit to a relationship, first they date the woman/ women ( in his case) and when he decide that she is the right one from every expect, then he would commit to her.. Maybe only then he would start to be loyal to her..
During these 5 months he was "sampling".. The next day after the last time we saw each other, he said that he is not planning on seeing anyone but me when he will be back after..
But anyway, it doesn't matter anymore.. since it's best to let him be..
Thanks again..

Hey just find a nice happy balance. If he says he wants to commit to you, wonderful, dont believe this until you see it...keep your distance, let him come to you when he returns. Do not mention your relationship status with him, see if he is a man of his word and emotionally mature to continue this conversation that HE STARTED before leaving. This is how you will know if he is serious about you.

Typically if a man is serious about a woman, he will not say to "hey I am okay with you dating around." So this is why I tell you to tread lightly. You can be positive but be realistic too. In the meantime focus on getting yourself together, emotionally, physically (health wise) and financially.

For the record i do not think he played you ever. I think he was honest and genuine in his intention with you. But until you have a verbal confirmation of commitment, he is free, as are you, to date other people and with that will always come the chance of him (and you) finding someone else.

As for Taurus men in nature, everyone is different. Dont judge a man based on his sign, judge him on his OWN actions...not words, ACTIONS. Women communicate. Men act. My Taurus ex. committed to me in no time, he made his intent known to be with me and come hell or high water he made it happen.

None of us are perfect and we have all made varying degrees of mistakes with men. Just ride it out, be patient and live in the moment. Let him show you through his actions where he stands. If he doesnt live up to his words, then it is time to let go and live on 🙂

@Malloryor: Thanks again for your precious advices.. really you've helped me a lot.. Wish you good luck with your life too !! 🙂

@Malloryor: I meant to write "he will ask me again"..

Posted by Virgo30
@Malloryor: I have one last thing to ask you.. we will ask me again, I know that, if I want to see him again.. At this moment, I would say never again.. But I'm sure he will tell me that he cares about me a lot, like every time I dissappeared on him, even if it was for just a couple of days.. and he would make me feel guilty that he was there for me and cared about my health issues etc.. but right now I feel that I can't speak to him again.. I was honest to him from the beginning, and I expected for him to be honest.. he chose not to be.. I already invested feelings in what I already considered something special, and of course I am hurt right now.. he did everything to make me believe that what we had was growing into something special, into a relationship.. as soon as I would become free, and officially close my still friendship with my ex..
So should I tell him "no" and mean it ? And in the meantime I will see if he will do something.. if he really cares..

I can't tell you that. You need to decide that for yourself. But this may be a non factor, I know you said he will ask you to be with him, but I think if you were so certain you would of never came onto this forum asking if your guy was into you or playing you, right?

The truth is you wont know of his true intent until he verbally asks you to be his gf. Until then, you are jus one of the three women he is courting and that's fair, he's searching for who is right for him. He has been honest and upfront about it so no need to feel duped. All you csn do now is continue living your life, get yourself together and when he does come back, sit back and let his actions do the talking. If two weeks, four weeks go by after he has been home and he has not brought up the relationship topic, then you can be certain he is not interested in committing. Personally, at that point I would walk away, rather than waste my time attached to someone who cannot decide if they want to be attached to me and only me.

@malloryor: yes of course, I am not certain that he would want to only see me.. but then even if he did, he is not the kind of guy to commit in such of short time.. he talks about months and months of dating until he will commit to a relationship, if he decides that one woman is right one, then he will be loyal to her.. this is what he said, but only now, after 4 months.. Maybe he decided to tell me the truth now, as he understood that I started to have feelings and he wanted to make me calm down and take some steps back.. He also told me more than once that he likes to be pursued.. I told him today that when he will be back, that I wish he will pursue me too..
I don't know, I tend to think that is all useless.. In the last 7 years he didn't have any relationship, he only dated.. but strangely for months he was only talking about Love..
But as you said, I need to calm down first.. and just do my own thing.. if he's meant for me, it will happen.. and he will show actions, not words..
One more time, thank you very much ! 🙂

Sure, no problem and good luck.

I think your thought process is heading for the right direction.

You too 😉