sick and tired -

So my taurean guy has made me run around him - i loved him to the level of insanity and irrespective of what my friends kept saying about him not being worthy of me - i just cudnt give a fuck! i actually saw my dreams materializing with him and his constant acts of hot and cold have lost their charm on me. I'm building things back with my aries guy cause he was atleast worth all that i had to offer.

Just telling all taureans - that next time you find a Leo disappearing on you - its not cause she didnt care - its cause you prolly weren't worth the concern in the first place. And although as i'm writing this my heart still aches for him (imagine swallowing my pride for him) i don't want him anymore. All i was looking for was love - not a constant test where my feelings kept getting kicked around.

"its cause you prolly weren't worth the concern in the first place"

that's a horrible attitude.... have you considered that maybe the two of you just weren't right for each other and he didn't have the heart to tell you? just because someone doesn't feel the same way about you and doesn't know how to tell you that doesn't mean they aren't "worth the concern" it just means the relationship isn't right - you can't blame other people because you want something to work and it just doesn't - unless they are purposely leading you on and using you - in which case I don't think it would be "hot and cold" I think it would be hot then out of there.

Taurus is one of the signs that won't give up on a bad relationship -because we're LOYAL.
We keep trying to make it work until there's nothing left to try.... have you stopped to think that he may have wanted out a long time ago but kept trying for your sake because he saw all the effort you were putting in and felt like he owed it to you?

That's really surprising to hear a taurean behaved that way, leonine, but i guess there's always the bad apple. Actually... now that I think of it, most taureans I know are great, but the one's that arent are the other extreme... abusive, users, self-projecting, self-pitying... even a little two faced.

angelfish, everyone has a right to assign worth in anything. everyone should. i think leonine is just being honest here and i dont think she's blaming anyone. if she is, she's blaming herself. hence the final assessment of worthlessness *to her*

lol@ Leo. Is it that he really wasnt worth the concern that you obviously were giving...was it that YOU had more interest in it than he did....or is it that you're just upset because you didnt get your way?

I think its more mature to say "I pursued this guy, it was ok but then things deteriorated and I just dont think we were right for one another It didn't work"

To say he wasnt worth the concern is YOU saying YOU wasted your own time cuz it wasnt like he made you pursue him...or did I miss the post about some threat of violence if you didnt put so much energy into it? We're pretty stubborn and I hate when people try to push us into something, we dont go, and then we're accused of being this or that when really we didnt promise you anything to begin with. Sometimes you just cant be friendly or cordial to everyone.

Maybe you should update your "is he worth it" radar so you dont waste so much of your own time next time instead of telling us why its our fault a Leo might go cold.

actually creepy pants if you actually read what she wrote she was making that assessment of all taureans....

so she did. guess i read it too fast. jab til your heart's content

Yeah okay so i was angry when i posted that - and never intended evaluating the worth of all taureans ( i dont judge people ). No offense was intended.

"Is it that he really wasnt worth the concern that you obviously were giving...was it that YOU had more interest in it than he did....or is it that you're just upset because you didnt get your way?"

First off i never pursued this guy, i've known him for an age old time - he kept hinting, flirting, innuendos i just never had any interest. As things moved further and he became more and more 'expressive' it started drawing my attention. I use the word expressive cause in his clear words he wanted things to happen when he knew i didn't. When he finally managed to get me - he backed off and started with his disappearing acts, moody nature and acting wierd aloof detached. So its understandable why i would be hurt, cause i gave him the front place and made my life take a setback. With his aloofness I always suspected another woman but obviously without any conclusive proof, it made no sense to ask him or try discuss, and all this horoscope gibberish kept running in my head saying 'taureans are loyal'.

Anyhoo, now that i' withdrew and disappeared. He's come looking for me - and last night he initiated a 'talk' which eventually led to the fact that "he's not ready for such a huge commitment' but he cares about me and feels for me" and has been mentally very disturbed thinking about me alot. He also confessed that 'some very attractive older woman' "has been all over him but he's told her he needs to figure out first where his heart lay". ...sigh!

with all the complications being built up I'm completely confused and unsure about what i want anymore as well.

And 'angelfish' - Taureans can also do wrongs.

Its funny though how it started with him running after me and then my doing the same after him - been running in circles.

Thats how Taurus men operate. They make you think they are the chaser when its all a front to get you to end up chasing them. Then thats when they're happy. At that point they know they have you so they then start to relax but its up to you to keep him on his toes. Not saying play games just have a life outside of him. Which you should do anyway. once he see you are doing your own thing and don't need him then you become more and more attractive to him.

***i gave him the front place and made my life take a setback.***

You should never do this for any man or person.

Its so unfair when people write a message and hide it : when you're going what i am : any suggestions AT ALL or any perspective is valuable. :-)

And thanks cancer lady : that makes so much sense.

Thanks y'all!

I never said taureans can't do wrong - but you came on here blasting all taureans for one, and two I raised very valid points that it seems you were too angry to consider. Nothing you've said clearly implies that he's just a bastard. And I was speaking from my own viewpoint and why I might personally act like that.

LOL @ sagg
then why post it at all?

"unrealistic relationship" ... umm?

I was just curious - this tug of war for power - does it happen till they make up their mind? or goes all the way even when finally you're in the relationship?

Cause this guy 'says' he's making up his mind right now - so i could be patient till the commitment is made - but if this is all he's to offer forever then i don't want
one great day for three days full of pain hurt and waiting.

come on SAG - i wasn't transferring blame on anyone there - just expressing my hurt and confusing owing to someone.
I did accept what i said about ' all taureans' was uncalled for and not the right judgment and anyway who am i to judge 'ALL' just one guy who seemed like a typical taurean...sigh!

so... umm explain everything, i mite understand.
try not underestimate the wisdom of a lioness :-)

You're right about the wrong person wrong question thing Sag. A lot of times the right answer is there we just dont know how to pop the lock and grasp it...and something its like guessing a code, it comes to you one day but it wouldnt the day before.

As far as Taurean tug of war, its not a tug of war at all, and its not some psychological power tip...WHAT IT IS, is that YOU have something that you want this person to do, you ask, infer, suggest, imply that they should do it...they think about it and conclude that they will. You assume that what they have done 1. means more than it does and 2.was done out of their own intention when they really probably wouldnt have considered it if you didnt ask. That doesnt mean you made them do it, it just means they most likely wouldnt have done it if you hadnt suggested it. So then you come up on something else you want them to do, they usually say "oh no no, let's draw the boundaries, lets not do this" but you continue "oh but please, dont you want to, it wont be so bad" and we think "ok, maybe it wont" and agree to do it. Once again we are doing something that 1. is only 1 decision and not a prelude or precursor to other actions because we 2 most likely wouldnt have done it if you didnt ask. So then when you do get to an action or commitment that causes the Bull to plant its feet you feel 1 as if you have been lead along and 2 we are initiating some sort of power struggle. We arent initiating a power struggle, we're just setting a boundary and you more or less have to agree with that or you start pissing us off. You asked us to do something, we went along with it, that was our choice....and we also have the choice to stop doing whatever you're asking when we well please, especially if we didnt make any promises up front or if you knew from the beginning that you were talking us into more things than you werent. And dont assume why the Bull decided to go along with your suggestions before and have suddenly stopped. I know when I do this its just for being spontaneous...sometime I stop and think and its like "ok things really cant go any further or they'll seem a lot more serious than they are to me and I dont want to deceive anyone".

Best advice to yall that experience this, is to stop suggesting to the Bull what they should do to make you feel that you are getting what you want from them and really look at what they are giving you of their own will. If they are giving you what you need of their own free will,

then that is wonderful, they're into you....they they arent on giving you those things by their own accord...no matter how flirty and friendly they are...they most likely dont want you.

one of my best friends is a scorp.... and she flat out admits that she just doesn't understand me... but she loves me anyway :0)

I agree with everything my goddess sister said, but would like to add that for me I usually pull away when I am uncertain of how the other person is feeling. We are VERY direct - and sometimes people think they're being obvious but in relaity they are being very subtlke [from a taurean perspective] and since we don't know what to think we back off lest we should anger someone......

I've dealt with Scorpios and understanding is the last thing I would describe between us. I think its more appreciation and kinship than understanding.

Its not stopping and thinking it over and its not a matter of "playing like that", its deciding that you dont want to go any further. I think what the problem is, is that in the beginning both parties arent working toward to same end, and when one person stops, having reached their end, before the other person the other person is upset because they never understood or wanted to accept that they were working towards different ends although they were on the same path. When this happens its pretty petty to "play the same game" because there is nothing to play. You can either stop at the end the other person stopped at or continue to your end by yourself without them. If you cant go on without them its basically an abort mission so you can find someone who's not only going down the same path as you but someone who is also moving TO (not just toward) the same end.

good distinction between to and toward

Yeah that distinction causes a lot of disagreements in relationships when (most usually) women start talking about marriage and the guy was like "Its been wonderful but I've never been working to that, I was just enjoying the place where we enjoy one another". And Bulls are just stubborn but passive enough that though they might be lead toward a goal that isnt theirs they wont be lead to it if its not what they really want.

no we don't....... peer pressure doesn't really work with us

SF that is so true thats why I've never put any pressure on my bull to do anything. I knew what I wanted but I had to see if he wanted those same things and that he wanted them because he wanted them not because I've suggested them to him or expressed that thats what I want so he needs to want it too. You want a person to want the same things you want but because they want them not that they were forced or felt obligated to do so to make you happy. Thats why alot of relationships don't work out because one party is trying to make the other person be at a certain place and that person isn't there and might not want to get there or if they do want to get there they might not want to get there with you.

Trying to force a Taurus to do anything is a wrong move period. If he's acting hot and cold its because when he's hot he feels like he's doing things on his own marit not being forced but if he start feeling forced to do something or make decisions when he he doesn't want to are isn't ready at that time to do so he'll get cold to gain back control over the situation. It can be looked at as a power struggle and mental games that the Taurus man plays but once he has made up his mind about you all that will stop.

Its up to you to stick around and see how and where things end up but don't over dictate the situation. Either you can deal and except whats going on or you can't and right now you are not in a relationship with this guy so if he indeed chose someone else to be with there would be nothing you could do but just walk away because he didn't promise you anything. With my Taurus man I knew I was the one so the hot and cold and mental games that we both played was just a period of feeling each other out and finding out what we wanted to find out from each other indirectly. So its all up to you, only you know what you can and can't deal with but it will continue until he has made his choice wether it be you or someone else.

Thanks a million @ SWEET , CANCER LADY , ANOTHER SCORP
appreciate your help guys - really do.

Anyhoo, the update goes something like this. Being a leo that i am after all the advice and comprehending him and the situation - i still went ahead and picked up a confrontation with him. Which led to my facing his BULL anger (lord help my soul) leading to my tears and his softening up and a real hours long heart-to-heart.

I made him completely aware that HE HAS ME but will lose me if the constant supply of affection is not there. He said he too wants me but is trying to be stable and i told him that I'm not big on mind games, so if that's whats up his sleeve, he can stay laid back and relax and look for another girl. I even told him how he says one but does exact opposite of it all. I' don't know if what i did or said was right or not but i believe honesty to be the essence of any relationship and for me it would all be deceptive if truth is not shared. Although It has worked wonders - we've been stable since last few days (the longest for us till date ). He's been sharing, been funny, tolerant and caring too and actually apologizes or gives an explanation if he's busy or inattentive. I've picked up his pace and am not rushing anything, and not giving too much of me in it and not asking for much. He's actually started giving without asking since our BIG FIGHT.

Just realizing taurean men are wonderful if understood and dealt with gently and in a loving manner ( i wasn't gently but have been ever since). And if we don't have anything else left, at least we have love - the love which i feel and i can only hope he will feel someday as well. All in good time :-)

gentle*

lol

Cold again!

Why oh Why oh Why?!?!

What happened?