I've hurt the little bull i think. I didnt mean to. i just go so upset and i dont even really know why. thats why i hate my temper. i always let things go all the time... being passive... then one day something happens and Whammo! I go into full force super meanness. And I hurt him.
So... I told him that maybe it's best that we not see each other anymore and just be friends because im no good for him. he's a sweetheart and im evil. i dont think i really deserve him, so i let him go. i refuse to do to him what someone else did to me. so thats that i guess. its too bad. this hurts like hell.
and now he is asking me to reconsider... i dont know what i should do. i really do want to be with him, but i really dont think that i deserve him.
its almost like i feel like im supposed to punish myself for being so stupid in my last relationship, and in an attempt not to let another relationship like that happen again, im hurting the guy in this one. maybe i have had my happiness and just shouldnt keep someone else from theirs.