Can I get my Virgo Woman Back?

Hi There:

Me and my girlfriend broke up 2 days ago. We live in the SFO bay area. Basically both of us are Divorced Single parents of 3 kids each. I have 3 girls(second one twins) and she has three boys 12,11,10. I am a Hindu Indian Man and she is a Muslim Turkish Woman. Our relationship started on a good note. Both of us have been in miserable long term marriages in the past with were hurtful due to spouses with personality disorders and cheating. I finally walked away from my Ex-Wife 3 years ago and she left her Ex-Husband 3.5 years ago.

Once we started dating I realized that her partner being Muslim was important to her yet she would show me signs of treating me like a future long term partner. Called me Honey all the time. I was very cautious in the beginning but started to grow fond of her over time. Our compatibility was very high. We have had a lot of fun together and really 99% of my memories with her are very fond. We started talking about the future. We even broached the topic of me religiously converting and my response was that we should cross that bridge when we come to it. Both our children need to grow up and we both did not want any more children so the matter of an off-springs religion is non-consequential. I am spiritual but being born in a Hindu family the only way I know to pray to god in using Hindu rituals. I really believe that GOD is in our hearts and not in any specific place such as an idol or temple. Yet, I occasionally take my mother who lives with me to the Temple and offer my prayers when I am there. Maybe 2-3 times an year.

When in her home I follow all her rules and literally would help her with chores like running dishwasher, cleaning, folding clothes etc. She loved it. We recently went on a vacation together to Spain and had an amazing time. The Chemistry is 9/10, the understanding is 9/10, compatibility is very high.

Last week I invited her to the only religious ritual I have done this year for my mom. Her two friends and her. One of them was curious how we pray meditate since he had not seen a hindu prayer before. Both her other friends are not a religious as her. I did it early for him and she watched it. Immediately afterwards I could see she was disturbed and they all left soon. The next day she was aloof and for the first time lied to me about where she was going to be instead of being with me in the evening. Next day I left her alone whole day, no texts phone calls since she can get moody a few days befor

Hi There:

Me and my girlfriend broke up 2 days ago. We live in the SFO bay area. Basically both of us are Divorced Single parents of 3 kids each. I have 3 girls(second one twins) and she has three boys 12,11,10. I am a Hindu Indian Man and she is a Muslim Turkish Woman. Our relationship started on a good note. Both of us have been in miserable long term marriages in the past with were hurtful due to spouses with personality disorders and cheating. I finally walked away from my Ex-Wife 3 years ago and she left her Ex-Husband 3.5 years ago.

Once we started dating I realized that her partner being Muslim was important to her yet she would show me signs of treating me like a future long term partner. Called me Honey all the time. I was very cautious in the beginning but started to grow fond of her over time. Our compatibility was very high. We have had a lot of fun together and really 99% of my memories with her are very fond. We started talking about the future. We even broached the topic of me religiously converting and my response was that we should cross that bridge when we come to it. Both our children need to grow up and we both did not want any more children so the matter of an off-springs religion is non-consequential. I am spiritual but being born in a Hindu family the only way I know to pray to god in using Hindu rituals. I really believe that GOD is in our hearts and not in any specific place such as an idol or temple. Yet, I occasionally take my mother who lives with me to the Temple and offer my prayers when I am there. Maybe 2-3 times an year.

When in her home I follow all her rules and literally would help her with chores like running dishwasher, cleaning, folding clothes etc. She loved it. We recently went on a vacation together to Spain and had an amazing time. The Chemistry is 9/10, the understanding is 9/10, compatibility is very high.

Last week I invited her to the only religious ritual I have done this year for my mom. Her two friends and her. One of them was curious how we pray meditate since he had not seen a hindu prayer before. Both her other friends are not a religious as her. I did it early for him and she watched it. Immediately afterwards I could see she was disturbed and they all left soon. The next day she was aloof and for the first time lied to me about where she was going to be instead of being with me in the evening. Next day I left her alone whole day, no texts phone calls since she can get moody a few days befor

I'll wait til you post the rest of the story.

So far it seems like 2 people who are into each other and try to work logistics over making it work.

Posted by Vaibhavman

Last week I invited her to the only religious ritual I have done this year for my mom.

I did it early for him and she watched it.

Immediately afterwards I could see she was disturbed and they all left soon.

The next day she was aloof and for the first time lied to me

She obviously went willingly, knowing it was going to be different ... so, this shouldn't be a shocker.

You did (what) for him early, that she watched? What did you do? Kill a lamb at an alter? who is "him"?

Obviously, whatever it is you did is what disturbed her.

What did you do?

People have answered, only acknowledging the religion in conceptual terms ... completely overlooking that you actually DID something that was disturbing to her.

Was there a sacrifice? did you finger-butt a kid?

What was so fucking disturbing that these people ran the fuck away?

You did something early for him while she watched and it freaked her out?

did you suck his butt-hole or something?


What did you do?

Nope!! 🙂

Finishing Story:

I did meditation and prayer the hindu way. Its in front of an Idol and in Islam Idol worshiping is a cardinal sin. In hinduism Idols are used as medium, we are not worshiping the idol we are worshiping god represented by the Idol.

The next day she was aloof and for the first time lied to me about where she was going to be instead of being with me in the evening. Next day I left her alone whole day, no texts phone calls since she can get moody a few days before her periods and I am used to leaving her alone in those few days. Sunday evening again she was slightly aloof but enthusiastic on texts. I went to her home with coffee and roses to surprise her. Of course she was Pleasantly surprised. I sat her down and asked why she lied to me because I am ok with her going out on her own. I am not very insecure. I asked her whats going on? After a few minutes of silence she said we are so different and we don't have a future. My first thought was we already know that we are different and yet we are working slowly towards a future together.

I am not against converting my religion if I am with the right woman in a loving relationship. Religion is not that important to me anyways. But she insisted that I would be making a big sacrifice and what would I tell my family, and that is too much pressure on her so we should part ways. What if she would go back to be more religious and started wearing a Hijab again. She said we were wasting time in finding the person we could spend each of our future with.

Basically all her insecurities were in play. I really did??t have an answer for any of these questions as I tend to live in the present and the near term future while planning for the long term slowly. A lot of these are really my decisions. I am committed to doing whatever it takes to be with this woman as I realized midway in a relationship that the compatibility was so high that I could happily grow old with this woman. I thought I had found a right woman. And I thought she had found her right guy in me and was willing to work slowly towards it. We have talked about it a coupe times on a plan at a high level.

I fought back a little bit but it seems she had made up her mind. We broke up that evening but I requested to spend that evening having dinner with her and her friends and spend the night with her. We did everything like all other nights together. Had wine, watched a Bollywood Movie, made love, and slept together. The next day m

So what was the question?

Seems like some of your post got cut off.

Finishing Story:

The next day morning when I left at around 10:30am I was in tears and she was comforting. She told me that I deserved someone more emotional and that I will find someone because I am great guy and I deserve it. That she will always be my true friend. I told her it is going to take me a couple months to reach that friend stage and I need time. At that moment I am thinking "I don't want someone else".

I was sad the whole day. I spent the whole day disoriented constantly thinking about where I went wrong? But held up well not to contact her. On the first night though I broke down and text-ed her. She text-ed back immediately. I went back into my needy rant for a few mins and she was quiet. Just Responding in comforting ways. But when I did insert some friendly funny texts I got LOL back. I told her we were making a mistake to which she responded that me telling won't change her mind. she has to realize it. On asking if she believes in fixing her mistakes she said, —I think so??. (She has never gone back to anyone in the past couple years although all her recent ex-boyfreinds keep texting her. She would show me to be honest. It would never bother me or make me insecure.

Her first relationship was a loving boyfreind for 8 years. She left him for her Ex-Husband and was in a miserable 11 yr marriage where he continuously cheated on her and wanted a divorce. Anyways, in my final text messaged I said that I will hold strong and work on being a friend, Wished good night and ended it. She said good night (Last message) and I did not text her again. Its been a week now.

THE PLAN:
Last week I enrolled in the Muslim Community Center to learn about Islam. I plan to contact my Ex after 2 months. I should have finished this course by then. If I realize that conversion to Islam is something I could accept for myself I am going to sit her down and talk to her honestly about a plan for me to address all her concerns. I am not going to ask her to take me back immediately but to continue being a friend for an year atleast as I sort out other issues with my Ex-Wife and Divorce throughout the year. She could continue to find her ideal Muslim man if she wanted. But if she did not for a few more months ask her to give us another chance. Do you think it will work? Do Virgo women ever give someone a second chance?

Please post comments with your opinion if you think I can have my ex-girlfriend back if I wanted her after the dust settles and I

Finishing Story:

I have a solid plan to address her concerns over our future together.

Thanks,
VM

I don't know what happened that day, whatever shocked her. It's probably a clash of some sort.

You know a lot of people when you throw a scenario at them they can tackle it with different scenario but real life reactions are hard to gauge.

It went from being a hypothesis to a reality with her and she probably determined she couldn't handle it..whatever "it" is.

Apparently Virgo women never reconcile. I want her back. This is a situation I can manage in the future to be with her long term. Is there any Virgo Woman on this board who has reconciled?

1. you did something, that you're not saying.

For her to be so adamant about her faith AND being a Virgo, she would have informed herself about what to expect entering your temple ... so, a normal day of idol worship would not have caused her a disturbance.

You said you did it to him. You did something to one of the friends, who must have been male.

2. if she can so easily walk away .. then you never had her. A Virgo is the epitome of dedication. For the fact that you find yourself in this situation is a sure indication that you aren't meant to be hers, according to her.

3. since you're not a man she wants AND you know this ... you could now be viewed as a stalker in her eyes.

4. if you could so easily give up your god (or whatever) ... then that's a huge fucking red flag waving. Now, if you're not so into this religion of yours, then you should have taken that truer route, rather than one which exposes her to something you don't give a fuck about.

Which means ... you're playing someone .... either her or us

5. if #4 is true in that you really don't care about your religion AND you fully acknowledge that it is extremely important to her ... then why would you even involve her?

You've already testified in here that you were fully aware of how high her loyalty is to her practicing faith, so in my mind, the only logical reason to bring to her an event that you know is going to fuck with her head ... was to actually fuck with her head.

Posted by P-Angel

2. if she can so easily walk away .. then you never had her. A Virgo is the epitome of dedication. For the fact that you find yourself in this situation is a sure indication that you aren't meant to be hers, according to her.

^^100% truth in that statement.

Dedication borders on obsession with us if we feel we belong together.

Ok. Its not as simple as you put it.

The Religious ceremony was for my mother. Who believes in Faith. Yes maybe that is what it is. She asked me if you convert what will you tell your mother? what will you tell you ex-wife? What will you tell you kids?

I did not have any answers to those questions then and there when we sat down for a chat. But I went to the islamic community center and enrolled for a class. I sat down with my mom and told her everything. I told her that I am going to learn about all religions because if this situation arose again I want to be prepared. She was in shock but was supportive as she understands that I need to move on and settle down.

I am not playing anyone nor you on the board nor my ex-girlfirend. I did make a mistake once of telling her that me converting till my mom is alive is difficult but it was an uninformed comment because I made all these assumptions aboout converting. As I learn the religion I realize except for some written down rules all the things I do every day are things expected of a true muslim. Anyways....

I just want to know if me trying to reconcile is even worth it. I do not want to sound needy or desperate because I am not. I don't need this woman in my life, I want her because I think there is true love between us and she is overestimating the challenges to be together.

If a Virgo woman is never going to consider my position then I do not even want to contact her again. Its going to be hard but I am strong enough to truly move on.

I did not do anything to him. Her friend insisted he wanted to see how we pray. I did the Poooja/Aarti and involved them. I had goose bumps when I was praying and was emotional. This happens to anyone who is praying truly from his heart.

I was not planning to do this in front of them at all because I knew it might have been too much for her to handle. I made an idiotic decision because I thought respecting her friends request would mean something to her.

Thanks,
Vaibhav

I meant I did the prayer if front of them "FOR" him because he insisted.

Yea I hate religion..... It is a bitch....The only thing it has achieved is divide good people on some different beliefs...

And no I am not a Pussy....For me she is ONE. So I was willing to do whatever it takes for her. I guess it is clear that for her I am not the ONE. Which means I should not be settling.

Cheers,
Vaibhav

Yea I am already on Day 8 of NC.....Intend to go on for a month or two. She needs to go date some other douche-bags in her quest for finding the right man of the same religion....

I am getting over the grieving period now...Trying hard to focus on myself. Eventually I will run into her someday as our kids go to the same school... Huh!!!

-VM

Yea True that. After about 10 days apart I am far ahead in my grieving process and have started believing in my future ahead most probably without her.

VM

Cancer. Cancer-Virgo matches are like made in heaven. LOL. It truly felt that way with her.

Its been 15 days since break-up...And I am convinced she is never going to be back in my life. I just need to finish my grieving and move on. I am going to try and never see or contact her again. Yea she was my kryptonite. don't want it near me again. worry I would get weak.

Posted by Vaibhavman

Cancer.

I never doubted that for a second. In fact, surely everybody already knew that by the way you think it's normal to try and manipulate her.

LOL....I am dad of 3 Girls....11 and twins 7 years old... Not many pretty women in the divorce market especially from India. LOL

That sounds like my Elif. I hope she will come around once she dates a couple other guys. Hopefully I will be still waiting...LOL I went on a couple dates to boost my ego and I have a different perspective on life after two weeks....

That I can still be happy without Elif in my life. She is not the only source of happiness.

Aqulibini:

Thats what I told her in my last text message two weeks ago. If Destiny has us together in the future we can't stop it and if it doesn't we can't stop that either.

Vaibhav

I went on a date with a beautiful colombian woman yesterday. And it went amazing. Kinda like my first date with my ex-girlfriend. We did coffee and then went to have dinner. The woman wants to see me again this week and we are planning a coffee date mid week and a Saturday night date. It just made me realize my self worth and that I I will find someone else for sure. Today I am just feeling more angry towards my ex and am beginning to doubt if it is even worth trying to get her back. If she could not stick it out after leading me on till I am contemplating changing my religion then it just seems that she is a very self centered person. She does not deserve me for sure.

The colombian woman is a cancer too...LOL

I messaged Elif after 4 weeks and she responded immediately. WOW the love still exists in our connection. 🙂 I am super happy. And now I have two women to worry about. A bigger problem to handle as the other one is cancer. You know we get hurt easily. Oh Boy...

Yea you are right. I am being a dick. I did not expect this new thing to go so well really. I am going to have a make choice soon and not hurt anyone. Thanks for the advice.