Can't figure out if she really likes me... also I am confused too haha (Page 2)

@spur

I hope it works out for you. Women appreciate a man's honesty of their intentions with relationships. I most certainly do since it saves me the headaches of guesswork. This is one thing I've admired from older men because too often women are given the runaround of exclusivity or not.

Posted by BarackObama
My advice, don't rush. Don't stagnate. Let things happen organically. Like our fresh farms in southern oregon.



-Barack

This is perfect advice. You're coming on a little too strong for her and rushing things along too fast. Slow it down... she's still analysing you and how she feels about you... but if you try to force it, she'll run. Don't disappear either because that'll just confuse her. I'd stop pushing for a date. Maybe start by a few phone calls here and there to allow her to comfortably get to know you. Then she'll be ready to go out with you. I think you just scared her a bit by being a little too intense at first.

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by confusingconfused
I don't know any Virgal that likes dudes that much older. They date around their age, or younger. You seem creepy.

Quite a shallow comment to make. I've dated a man 10+ years my senior and our chemistry was off the charts. We connected on a mature level, but his personality presented a much youthful state at times. And not the type to be deemed as a 'tryhard' to fit in with my generation. His was genuine.

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Yeah that comment really upset me. I've helped people get confidence back because they were literally in tears about comments like those. They had zero confidence because of them. It is so painful to see that. Thanks for your other post too. 🙂

Posted by LolaRed

Posted by BarackObama
My advice, don't rush. Don't stagnate. Let things happen organically. Like our fresh farms in southern oregon.



-Barack

This is perfect advice. You're coming on a little too strong for her and rushing things along too fast. Slow it down... she's still analysing you and how she feels about you... but if you try to force it, she'll run. Don't disappear either because that'll just confuse her. I'd stop pushing for a date. Maybe start by a few phone calls here and there to allow her to comfortably get to know you. Then she'll be ready to go out with you. I think you just scared her a bit by being a little too intense at first.

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Thanks, I think everyone for the most part is suggesting that. I appreciate the advice, and it makes perfect sense. 🙂

Posted by starwars
okay, here's my two cents:

you sound adorable and all, but kinda pushy and that makes her suspect you.

- you've asked her from the get go and admitted that you're physically attracted to her.

that's cool but as you stated you don't know her that well, yet you were persistent in a way that seem like you do know her.

what goes in the Virgo mind? "oh, it's simply infatuation"

I think she wanna make you chill tf out by making all those annoying moves and being aloof af, so she either prove to you or herself that its simply a phase as well as make you back away a bit and think "oh maybe she's not that great afterall"

I relate to her behavior because I know what i'm really like and that I can be a pain in the ass and difficult to deal with, so when people expect too much from me and have this perfect false image of who I am I become wishy washy and show the less attractive side of my personality.

If the person stopped liking me then whew great prove me right and leave me alone lol, if not and they genuinely like me then I give it a shot.

- telling her that you can't sleep nor eat is just a no-no. (please do)

as I said expectations stress us out! we already have a bunch of our own, you telling her that doesn't only put a pressure on her shoulder, but will show her that you're not as self-contained as her. - she might reject you so you can be just that lol -

we love the idea of having people as a whole, we don't want our actions to effect you negatively, I don't know about other Virgos but I want to be with someone who put themselves first and are alright with me leaving them if its for the better. If I know someone get in lots of emotional shit because of me I know I won't be able to be myself and I will be afraid id hurt them, can't deal with the guilt if I did so.

I know lots of people think its cute when people tell them they haven't eaten for days because they're thinking about them. I don't. it gives me anxiety, I'm like please don't give a shit about anyone not even me. put yourself first and go have a pie! so I can feel at ease around you.

- now that you've ignored her she is probably happy you're being self-contained and feel at ease that her actions no longer effect your life lol

mind games won't work, we can't take a hint.

- is your friend a gemini? ugh

he needs to stay out of it, if you want things to work out. Virgos are private and will only let you truly in during one on one interactions.

your friends interfering > extra expectations > extra pressure > the virgo going nuts

Totally makes sense, and yes my friend is a Gemini. Super pushy.

Thing is I won't just go away, I don't give up on people in general even if it is just friends which I am cool with. Everyone has problems. So for telling her my emotions I guess I have to be honest. That is the truth so it is what it is. 🙂 Wither it is a no no or not. I still can't really get her out of my head, but at least I am productive now. :-) We all have growing to do, In some cases people are far too negative to keep around, but this is not the case here. So I really don't know what else to do except wait. Which is what I am doing now.

Thank you so much for your thoughts it sounds very accurate to me what you're saying.

Shawn

Posted by starwars
as I said expectations stress us out! we already have a bunch of our own, you telling her that doesn't only put a pressure on her shoulder, but will show her that you're not as self-contained as her. - she might reject you so you can be just that lol -

I did want to touch on this subject. I actually called her out on this, because this is not a moral or logical position. Most people don't have the mind in front of their emotions. I can deal with it through meditation or physical activity, but to cause damage to a person and then walk away like it is not your problem is not moral. It is their moral responsibility to help if possible because those emotions would not have existed if it wasn't for her in the first place. So her inaction is on her not on me. It is good that I can handle it on my own, but the bigger issues is in terms of a long term situation. You virgo's need to be humbled a little bit. 😉

The whole idea is unconditional, as soon as you start applying conditions of emotional control. Then the love you seek is no longer true. So that whole logical position is flawed. Obviously two people can't have a bad effect on each other, but it's not a one-way street.