Clarity...............

After 8 weeks of no contact I decided to see how the ex Virgo was doing. Why? Because I am still not over the connection that I found in him. It is hindering me currently. Going on his FB page I see he hasn't changed not one bit. Actually he had 3 women he was toying with as if he was their boo and they were all on their pages expressing their love for him etc. I shook my head because his kahuna's have gotten so big that he has these women as his friends and they all comment on his posts in different ways. They all stay hidden yet send subliminal messages to him. On his IG he posts his dates with another woman vying his love for her.

So I text him "I hope all is well with you and you are thought of often". Both the truth. He texts back "U too I miss you a lot". Then proceeds to ask where I was living. Like I not told him many times when we were talking where I was moving to. I answer and he asks can he see me. I have to be honest and say I wanted so badly to say yes but I knew the outcome, the disappointment. So I told him No. Then I proceeded to tell him that everything that was a game to him wasn't one for me and he was missed. He said he too was serious about me and he really wanted to see me.

I knew all that was was a game...it was a test on his part to see where I stood with his harem. If I still was the silly woman who put up with so much in the months we spoke to each other. I told him that he was still cycling through women and that him and I on a seeing each other level wasn't happening but I wanted to just check on him and his well being. He said he wasn't cycling through any women he was single. Despite the evidence, he insisted to still run game when he knew the very reason I stopped talking to him was that he was a habitual liar and player. I texted my peace. None of which was mean or negative. He is who he is. I accepted that when I was talking to him. Which makes me just as guilty to the outcome. I am sure he did not read it. I am sure the door is still open in his eyes. I know I needed closure or confirmation that my decision to stop speaking to him was right.

Unfortunately, we do not find many people we click with on a intellectual level too often. This wasn't at all sexual for that didn't happen. A meeting of the minds. I do not think I loved him. I cared. I showed I cared while the words "I love you" came out instead. The connection is what I gravitated to and I over looked so many of his flaws in order to keep that. I know he did not love me. I was just part of many he was running game on. I knew this and pointed it out to him often. He disliked me for challenging him for that and ignored me many times. The breaking point was when he was more blatant with his shenanigans. I knew I wasn't helping me or him by staying. I was just breaking my own heart.

Yes, I am dating another Virgo. He is okay. Communication is there, he loves to touch and hug, he has the kindest heart and loves his family. He has a Libra moon though, which is what makes him wishy washy in some ways. He says things that he does not execute and it makes me stay behind a wall. We go out often. But I think that intimacy is what is holding us together. What keeps him coming back. Could be me again thinking this because he says different. But with his wishy washy personality it is hard to gauge what is real and what is not. I said I would give it another month. No mushy I love you between us yet...I care and he does as well. He sees a future...I see explosive sex. I want more though and I am not sitting anywhere for longer than necessary when the writing is on the wall.

Sometimes we have to step back and actually look at what is...instead of what we think it is. Clears our minds and resets our emotions. My contact with the ex moves that hindrance out of the way. Resets me in a way. Am I wrong for doing so? Of course. I showed disrespect to my current. Am I going to tell my current prospect? No. I will maybe down the line if things get that far. I am just hoping clearing this up makes for a better me...for a better tomorrow.

Posted by SpinCycle
Unfortunately, we do not find many people we click with on a intellectual level too often. This wasn't at all sexual for that didn't happen. A meeting of the minds. I do not think I loved him. I cared. I showed I cared while the words "I love you" came out instead. The connection is what I gravitated to and I over looked so many of his flaws in order to keep that. I know he did not love me. I was just part of many he was running game on. I knew this and pointed it out to him often. He disliked me for challenging him for that and ignored me many times. The breaking point was when he was more blatant with his shenanigans. I knew I wasn't helping me or him by staying. I was just breaking my own heart.

Yes, I am dating another Virgo. He is okay. Communication is there, he loves to touch and hug, he has the kindest heart and loves his family. He has a Libra moon though, which is what makes him wishy washy in some ways. He says things that he does not execute and it makes me stay behind a wall. We go out often. But I think that intimacy is what is holding us together. What keeps him coming back. Could be me again thinking this because he says different. But with his wishy washy personality it is hard to gauge what is real and what is not. I said I would give it another month. No mushy I love you between us yet...I care and he does as well. He sees a future...I see explosive sex. I want more though and I am not sitting anywhere for longer than necessary when the writing is on the wall.

Sometimes we have to step back and actually look at what is...instead of what we think it is. Clears our minds and resets our emotions. My contact with the ex moves that hindrance out of the way. Resets me in a way. Am I wrong for doing so? Of course. I showed disrespect to my current. Am I going to tell my current prospect? No. I will maybe down the line if things get that far. I am just hoping clearing this up makes for a better me...for a better tomorrow.

are you wrong? hell no. never apologize when you do what you need to do. you owe no one an explantion or apology.

Posted by tiziani
I wouldn't count the weeks. First step to freedom.

Great advice Tiziani I will do that...Thank you.

Posted by KittenLaRouge

Posted by SpinCycle
Unfortunately, we do not find many people we click with on a intellectual level too often. This wasn't at all sexual for that didn't happen. A meeting of the minds. I do not think I loved him. I cared. I showed I cared while the words "I love you" came out instead. The connection is what I gravitated to and I over looked so many of his flaws in order to keep that. I know he did not love me. I was just part of many he was running game on. I knew this and pointed it out to him often. He disliked me for challenging him for that and ignored me many times. The breaking point was when he was more blatant with his shenanigans. I knew I wasn't helping me or him by staying. I was just breaking my own heart.

Yes, I am dating another Virgo. He is okay. Communication is there, he loves to touch and hug, he has the kindest heart and loves his family. He has a Libra moon though, which is what makes him wishy washy in some ways. He says things that he does not execute and it makes me stay behind a wall. We go out often. But I think that intimacy is what is holding us together. What keeps him coming back. Could be me again thinking this because he says different. But with his wishy washy personality it is hard to gauge what is real and what is not. I said I would give it another month. No mushy I love you between us yet...I care and he does as well. He sees a future...I see explosive sex. I want more though and I am not sitting anywhere for longer than necessary when the writing is on the wall.

Sometimes we have to step back and actually look at what is...instead of what we think it is. Clears our minds and resets our emotions. My contact with the ex moves that hindrance out of the way. Resets me in a way. Am I wrong for doing so? Of course. I showed disrespect to my current. Am I going to tell my current prospect? No. I will maybe down the line if things get that far. I am just hoping clearing this up makes for a better me...for a better tomorrow.

are you wrong? hell no. never apologize when you do what you need to do. you owe no one an explantion or apology.

click to expand

+1 Thanks Kitten....

Posted by SpinCycle
After 8 weeks of no contact I decided to see how the ex Virgo was doing. Why? Because I am still not over the connection that I found in him.

You aren't ready for a new relationship if this is where your mind is at. You need to be fully OVER it, and you are not, no matter how you tell yourself you've accepted who he was or is. By doing so, whatever you have going on with the new guy and anything you've started was out the window from day one.

Posted by KittenLaRouge

are you wrong? hell no. never apologize when you do what you need to do. you owe no one an explantion or apology.

I truly wonder if her new Virgo would agree with you.

I'm thinking definitely NOT.

Posted by LetltB

Posted by SpinCycle
After 8 weeks of no contact I decided to see how the ex Virgo was doing. Why? Because I am still not over the connection that I found in him.

You aren't ready for a new relationship if this is where your mind is at. You need to be fully OVER it, and you are not, no matter how you tell yourself you've accepted who he was or is. By doing so, whatever you have going on with the new guy and anything you've started was out the window from day one.

click to expand

I agree with you on this.......I discussed being emotionally unavailable to the new guy. He said he understood and being upfront about it was a plus with him. He would stay but if he saw he wasn't helping he would let it go. It was mature of him.

But...again it wasn't love I had with the ex..it was an LDR and communication was mostly via text and video chat. It wasn't a real relationship. He wasn't even committed. Thank goodness after this my mind is no longer there. I needed that closure even though I was the one who stepped away in the first place. As I said sometimes we need to step back and tear apart ourselves to become better, wiser and pick ourselves up from being silly. Life goes on but we cannot keep making the same mistakes. I'm not one to not say my indiscretions. One of my traits I dislike. So eventually this will be talked about with the new one.

This really was about me figuring me out. Made up a pseudo relationship based on what was falsely presented and connection received. It was clarity for me.

sometimes you have to take a peek back to see if you're standing still or slowly moving