First time dating a Virgo woman. Wow! (Page 2)

Posted by Jackstobo
I've been reading what everyone is writing and I am chilling. Most seem to think she will come back to me when she is ready. I'm willing to wait for that to happen. She knows how I feel about her and shouldn't need me to keep reminding her.

Jackstobo-Your Virgal hasn't abandoned you,she is just taking time to recover from this week!This all or nothing feeling you have,can it stem from your having been cheated on?The fact that you need to know where you stand with her right now or it's done feeling?I know,I know,Leo's need to feel loved and cared for,they to wear love like a blanket,I'm not saying that's bad,it's just how you are built!Virgo's ain't.Doesn't mean we don't feel it as less deeply as yous,we just internalize it.I mean,I bet everyone you know,knows when your feelings are hurt?Some heavy stuff could have happened to us,and we wouldn't even flinch in public.

She might see ,it not as -you needing to remind her how you feel but the fact that you are reminding her,in a very big way.Not that that is bad,but that these are some of things that have been talked about,but not experienced in person.You both haven't had enough time to live around each others to know the others'habits.If she saw that you made a grrr kinda face,the she would know what was behind it or if she just withdrew after a comment from you,you'd know the source.

She seems to have an issue with other women,this is a hot button issue.May be the ex had"friends" hanging around that really weren't "friends".No,she's not asking you to wear blinders or never talk to women again,but she is learning what you do to avoid awkward situations with women.Again with the boundaries,learning what makes each other uncomfortable and what makes each other feel safe.Take a couple of deep breaths

The all or nothing feeling does stem from me being cheated on. I automatically assume that when I like someone, they will hurt me. When I semi like someone, they are all over me because I don't have any insecurity whatsoever. I became a different person when I truly like someone. This is the first girl who has given me butterflies since my wife left two years ago. So it's an unnerving feeling for sure. I look back on the last two weeks and realize I went from first gear straight to third. I'm trying to shift back down to first gear to get back in line with her. The only question is did I blow it last night with the gift and my texts? Only time will tell. I also realize that I have not been listening to what she says. She says things went too fast with other guys and she got hurt, she says I'm the first guy she has been able to build a friendship with, she says she's unable to contact guys, she's afraid she's one of several girls etc. etc. All statements that I should take positively rather than negatively. I need to chill and relax. Give her some space right now and know that our car is in first gear, not in reverse and not even hitting the breaks. I just pray I didn't blow it. You Virgos can cut us out sooooooo quick with one wrong move.

She does have an issue with other women. We met online and I think her experiences up until me have been guys that are only looking for hook ups. They say they want a relationship and everything, but once they get what they want, they sing a different tune. She has said she made a few mistakes and got her feelings hurt pretty bad. She says she doesn't want to make that mistake again. Geeez, as I write this out I realize how much of an idiot I have been and have not been listening to her. Ugh!

Okay,Jackstobo-you get it!You understand each others position,experiences and hurts.Really,kudos to you.You rembered what she said and always keep that in mind.But when you both start to grow less hurt and to trust more,then this will become easier for the both of you.That's great that you have found each other!

Men ,who like being in a relationship,want to get into another right away.It's like you hear about some guy divorced and 2 seconds later he got married,it's like what happened.Men don't function well on their own,they have done studies and single men live shorter than a cared for ,married man.Your self survivial instinct was moving in top gear.

Especially ,how you met,and her past experiences-she's waiting to see if you're going to leave.If she knew you better,she would know what you really wanted with her,the fact that you do want her.

As far as the gift went, and the texts ,you can't unring that bell.So you have to wait.It was my mistake that I thought you guys knew each other better,stick to more P.G. gifts for a while.If she knew you better,she would know that you meant the best by it.The texts are always hard,because you have no tone in them.

You need to give her time to get healthy,to analyze what just happened and to decompress.Point of contact is the tricky part.I would say definitely not this week,and maybe not the next one,because then it becomes stalkery like to a Virgo....If you must contact her,make it a good and legitimate reason that you made the call.Since you don't know each other that well,I wouldn't get into deep subjects via texts.

And as far as FB,she's probably watching,so you might want to cut down on the "women friendly" posts,that have them flocking to ya.I'm not saying put up smooze fest stuff,you're intelligent enough to know what I mean.And in the meanwhile,hang out with your happily married friends and pick their brains for relationship lasting tips.

I don't think all is lost,I mean,since she isn't a contacter,you might have to make the first move.I mean you two might have to start again.Then agree on the speed of the budding relationship.Both of you set boundaries .Grow it like a orchid.

VullcanLazz, I am so appreciative of your detailed advice. You and everyone else has helped me immensely to calm down and relax.

She is really funny. About 30 minutes ago, she texted "Hi 🙂" and I responded with "hi" back. She hasn't texted anything else, but it was all I needed. Now I can really relax. 🙂

A little update. We spoke on the phone yesterday and actually got into a fight. Not sure if I told this in the thread, but I asked her out for this past Friday or Saturday on Monday. Remember she was sick. So throughout the week she was trying to work and get through it. So on Thursday I asked again if she knew about Friday or Saturday. She said she was going to lay low on Friday and Saturday could work. I said ok, let me know. I have my kids and needed to line up babysitting if we were going to go out. So by Saturday around noon, I hadn't heard from her. I already knew the answer, but I wanted her to tell me. I asked, what's the status for us tonight. She responded with she was just going to hang out.

I felt it was reasonable to be pretty upset with that. I understood she was sick, but I felt the respectful thing to do was let me know when she knew she didn't want to go out. When was she going to tell me? I called her and said I didn't feel that was the right way to handle that. Well guess what? I got scolded big time. In her words since she never agreed to our date, she didn't think she needed to tell me we weren't going out. I basically remembered all my Virgo research and knew I wasn't going to win that argument. So I said I understand what you're saying and I'll know what to expect in the future. She went on to say that she is finding herself worrying about me too much. That we're supposed to be having fun and that we've only known each other for three months. Again, I just listened and didn't argue. She said this isn't going to work for her unless things change. All I said was I went from 1st gear straight to 3rd gear and I need to slow back down. I recognize I was trying to speed things up. So basically she didn't end it, so we got through that and spoke about other things for about 10 minutes. I just texted her Happy Easter because I thought it would be rude if I didn't and yes she responded immediately as she always does. I need to take a week or so and decide if this is the kind of relationship I want. I read how in time Virgos change, but that seems like an emotional risk waiting for something you have no guarantee will happen. Any thoughts?

Yes.That was immature the way she handled the date answer.She is very insecure with herself.She is still hurt from the last relationship(s)fiasco(s).She could be still under the weather,nobody bounces back like they did when they were 14.She might have thought with your first tiny little dust up that you would cancel and she beat you to the punch.She was also answering in work mode style -ya ya whatever-off the cuff style .We tend to act hardcore like that.I know , people either like that bluntness or find it hard to take.If you are going to continue with each other,this is a lesson for the future,whenever you two make plans-you two are going to have to talk in periods and definites-abstracts are getting you two off on a rocky path.--If I don't hear from you by 3 pm,then it's a no go.

Yes.I can see why you're upset.But you two have totally different communication style s,that why you both need to talk in definites.In her mind,she figured it was settled.Ya don't hear from me,then it's no.Maybe she felt not only sick,but that was going to be awkward-you out, with your children at home,waiting for you.So your date would have had a time crunch feel to it.Maybe she felt you couldn't go deeper,because the time wouldn't have an organic feel to it.

What exactly is she worrying about you too much?And can you live with the changes that she is purposing?Did she even express what they were?Questions for you to ponder.These are some of the reasons why you two need to get to know each other better.That is the big question,can you live with the changes that you two are laying out for each other??She's right,you two should be having fun with each other.BTW-she can sense your underlying -"better change" tone.

Ah my friend,what type of change are you looking for in your Virgo—*gives you hairy eye*Yes,every relationship IS an emotional risk.That's why some people find it hard to knit together or to let go.Communication is king.P.S. oh Mr Leo be prepared to get a few more scoldings until you two meet in the middle,this is part of that bonding process.🙂And you to are learning to tiff and not have it be dire.Boundary learning.Leo/Virgo pairing,tad more work but doable.

I was pretty surprised she scolded me like she did. I just felt there was a lot of tension built up and it needed to be released. I still think I was right, but I'll chock this one up to miscommunication. I know now to wait until later in the week to ask her out.

We do have very different communication style s and that is a big red flag to me. Not in the way, she is bad, just in the way we are different. I'm a feelings person. I like to know how someone is feeling about something. I don't just mean me. If someone is stressed about work, I want them to talk to me about it. I'm not comfortable with people who like to bottle their emotions up. I know when something is wrong with someone. If they bottle their emotions up and don't talk about, eventually I think it's me. Problems ensue. So people who talk things out work well with me.

I think she is worrying about if I'm ok. Something like, "oh I better text him or he's going to be upset" or "I better reassure him or we're going to end up talking about our status.". I think that's what she's worrying about. She doesn't want to have to worry about that.

I know the changes I need to make and I'm spending the week thinking about whether or not I want to make those changes versus finding someone who is more like me. The changes I would like to see in her is expressing more interest. I don't mean telling me she likes me. I mean asking about me. I drive our conversations by asking questions. She isn't shy when asked. She answers everything and is very comfortable talking about herself or her life experiences. Once she is done answering, it's like crickets. So I ask something else. It would be nice if she asked about my life. Heck I'd even take her asking me what my favorite color is. I'm hoping she can improve in that area. What is that? Is that a Virgo thing, self absorbed, or just not interested in other peoples lives?

Yeah Im guilty of that...not asking how others are etc. Its not that I dont care or self absorbed...for me I dont wanna be pushy...they will tell me if they wanna tell me plus I have so much going on in my head at all times..I just fail to see it. Its not an excuse and is pretty rude but I do try to be cautions of this now.

In relationships though I ask a lot of questions...It maybe a tad annoying lol. But besides analyzing body language...how else are you gonna be able to analyze the other person or see if you have comment interests....seems kinda weird that she doesnt ask you anything. Not really our nature to not find out stuff. well for me anyway.

Well,Jackstobo-Virgos are used to being an army of one,so we don't really discuss what we are feeling about something,not that we can't learn to do it.It's just part of our solitary nature.By the time we might have discussed something,we could have fixed it and moved on to the next crisis.We usually don't have time to gush,whine and revel,we just move it along.I'm not saying,she hasn't or that she can't let you know what is on her mind.(Empathic are we?Seems your ex-made it seem like it was your problem,so while you were pondering about it,you wouldn't ask her where's she's been).I think that she has no problem letting you know when she thinks it's you and not her.(LOL).The loungier the lion gets,the more nervous we get,because stuff needs to get done and we only have 6 minutes to get done in.This is more of meet you in the middle foundation building.Maybe she has the potential to discuss her problems with you and give you more of what you need.Only you two can see if you can drive together,using your auto metaphor.You drive,she reads the map??

In her own Virgo worrying way,she is considering your needs,that you need that type of communication to feel connnected to your beloved.

That is a gal who has been shot down and crunched under someone's heel.Probably when she went to ask how they were,she got nasty answers or none at all,so she isn't going to do that a again.(thank the ex).It's a self defense move.It's difficult when a person finally meets a"normal" person who is interested in back and forth without it leading to a fight.It also comes from making decisions without input.In general,I sometimes don't ask,because I don't want to pry,to seem too nosey or have heard what they said to someone else and they are just giving me a pat answer.(They could give a fat crap whether I ask or not).And they answer,like I'm some fan who is way beneath them.More conditioning really.We can tell fake interest and fake answers so why even bother with it.I'm not happy with small talk,but it makes the world go round,so I've learned to do it).We are interested in others,we try to give the gestures that mean something and will be the most helpful.Hey,ouch,we are not self absorbed,just self contained.This could be part of the age difference thing as well,can she really ask the lion how often he combs his mane?She may not see you as equals-you don't sit on their desk & ask your h.s.teacher how his weekend was.Delicate decision-what's best for your heart & style .

VullcanLazz, it's so funny. Whenever I'm ready to move on I read one of your posts. Afterwards I think, "ok I'll stay the course and stay consistent." I've definitely backed off and our communication has been a couple texts these past few days. It's been superficial at best. She's still responding, but she just isn't opening up to more dialogue. If I'm understanding what most of you have said, when a Virgo loses interest, they pretty much disappear correct? When you're in the early stages of dating and going through the analyzing phase, what do you want to see from the guy pursuing you? Would you rather he reach out to you daily in some form and would you rather he contact you once a week for the sole purpose of picking a date to get together?

You're doing it again,Jackstobo,going from 0 to 60.Who said anything about losing interest!!!You seem upset that she isn't moving at the same speed as you.You may have gotten insight here but,it takes time to apply it in RL ,with your Virgal.What am I going to do with you—Let's rewind for a sec.When I said about making plans and speaking in defintes-you say ok,I'll contact her later in the week.I didn't mention anything about that.I said she had a long week and was probably decompressing.You declare that she lost interest.How you ever done that mirroring exercise,where the other person makes a statement and you rephrase it back to them?You are pouncing all over the place.

You get her to open up by asking open ended questions,then follow up with another one.

First thing is I feel for is chemistry-is it there,is it growing,can I flow with the vibe,what type of vibe are we creating.Then I want to see a guy and how he acts;how does he treat wait staff,what happens when other women give him the eye,what are his manners like,what do we have in common,what type of personality does he have,how is he with children,do animals like him,does he have boundaries,is he selfish,what's his sense of humor like,is he kind,what types of hobbies does he have,is he too dry,is he too dramatic,is he trying to boss me around,is he trying to re-arrange my life-not in the way of opening it up for an "us" but is he trying to stuff me into his back pocket like I'm a scrap of paper etc...

What I really want to see in a guy is-himself.

I mean everyone has their dating manners/wall up,what is really behind that wall—?If a guy contacted me daily,I would probably throw my phone across the room and serious wonder if I had a stalker on my hands.It would make me EXTREMELY NERVOUS.It would also tell me that he doesn't have a life,if the daily contact is long and involved.Every three days is good.It gives me time to miss that person ,find something for us to do or something to talk about..hey did you see blah blah blah or what happened with such and such...

As far as contact;I would figure that if he only contacted me for just going out that he was trying to get me for something I had that he wanted or to take me somewhere just to impress or hurt whoever was going to be at said location.That has sort of an escorty feel to it.

And also you said you were going to take this week and think about you two and BINGO,here you are the next day.You have got to get a hold of yourself.Do you really know who you are?I mean it seems like that you have been married so long ,that you don't know who you are now!Just saying.You seem to want to hurry in to couplehood without taking a good serious look at who you are and what you really want.That Virgal may be meek,shy and distant but she isn't going to be tamed into being a housepet.People always make that mistake that because we are flexiable/mutable that we are moldable.What are you really looking for in a mate?You need to ask yourself these questions before you can offer yourself up to another and stuff yourself into your Virgals life then re-configure it without it being a collaborative effort.You have got to find the center.

Woah VullcanLazz,slow your roll girl. 🙂

I am still in first gear. I was simply making a statement that if she lost interest she would have disappeared. I'm really fine. Would I like to have more communication with her? Yes. Would I like her to ask me questions? Yes. But I'm learning from this forum that she just isn't there yet. I understand everyone doesn't think like me. When I like someone, I want interaction with them. I want to see them. I'm understanding, a Virgo woman works very different.

One thing I learned in your post was to stop texting her daily. I can do that. I've never gone a day without saying hi, good morning, or hope you had a good day. I rarely text her to engage in a conversation, but I would hate to think she wants to throw her phone hearing a "ding" from me. Lol. I'll slow it down to every third day.

There's just something about this one, so I'm willing to work on myself and go at her pace.

You asked ,I answered ,oh large maned one!Got ya!Yes,we are slow movers,but not out of reach.Good you are givng her a chance to miss you a little.Has she seemed to have gotten less nervous about you,if she has ,you are right on track then!!
As you two are finding your way to your seeing each other center,let her know in a relaxed moment that you enjoy hearing from her more.Keeping on an even keel ,sounds like you'll both get your needs met....Sounds like you're finding your groove!

Ah that subtle Virgal magic has claimed another one *Le sigh*

My husband is a Leo. I'm a virgo. When we were first dating, he came on strong and in fact it felt a bit stalker-ish. I asked him to back off. Maybe she felt smothered?? Sometimes, we need a break to analyze the situation and our feelings so we know which way to proceed.

Posted by virgoheart
My husband is a Leo. I'm a virgo. When we were first dating, he came on strong and in fact it felt a bit stalker-ish. I asked him to back off. Maybe she felt smothered?? Sometimes, we need a break to analyze the situation and our feelings so we know which way to proceed.

Thanks Virgoheart. Right now I'm doing nothing. Kind of bums me out, but not much else to do right now. Can you elaborate on what he was doing to seem stalkerish? How soon in the relationship did you ask him to back off? What did he do after you told him that?

Posted by VirgoVixxxen
At this point, why don't you keep it light and remind her of your feelings for her and then ask her straight up if it's mutual, so that this way if it isn't, you can know sooner rather than later and stop wasting your time. A forward conversation we can handle. I know it's a little confusing and frustrating as Virgos tend NOT to chase because we are a passive sign, but know that the passivity is not always a reflection of romantic interest but sometimes a way of hoping the other person will eventually come to the realization that we have no feelings for them, and will begin to wean themselves off. I know it sounds weird but it's just that it can be really akward and hurtful for us to let someone down all on our own, so that's why I say initiate a conversation if you wish to be brought out from the dark.

But don't be discouraged because that's ^^^ just one scenario...

She may simply be doing the shy, akward, reserved, Virgal thing. Really it can be like pulling teeth trying to get us to open up and come out of our shells (even worse when we really like you), and that's why you have to put in a little more detective work at this point or this can go on for a while and frustrate you even more as you seem ready to take it to the next step. Virgos can be slow as snails in love and we have the patience of saints...you have no idea!

Good luck and keep us posted.

Slow as snails and patient as saints. Perfectly stated.
But Patient? More like can endure longer but sometimes impatient. Haha!

Posted by VirgoTIN

Posted by VirgoVixxxen
At this point, why don't you keep it light and remind her of your feelings for her and then ask her straight up if it's mutual, so that this way if it isn't, you can know sooner rather than later and stop wasting your time. A forward conversation we can handle. I know it's a little confusing and frustrating as Virgos tend NOT to chase because we are a passive sign, but know that the passivity is not always a reflection of romantic interest but sometimes a way of hoping the other person will eventually come to the realization that we have no feelings for them, and will begin to wean themselves off. I know it sounds weird but it's just that it can be really akward and hurtful for us to let someone down all on our own, so that's why I say initiate a conversation if you wish to be brought out from the dark.

But don't be discouraged because that's ^^^ just one scenario...

She may simply be doing the shy, akward, reserved, Virgal thing. Really it can be like pulling teeth trying to get us to open up and come out of our shells (even worse when we really like you), and that's why you have to put in a little more detective work at this point or this can go on for a while and frustrate you even more as you seem ready to take it to the next step. Virgos can be slow as snails in love and we have the patience of saints...you have no idea!

Good luck and keep us posted.

Slow as snails and patient as saints. Perfectly stated.
But Patient? More like can endure longer but sometimes impatient. Haha!

click to expand

So true!

Dont forget upgrading her CPU every 6 months, thats all you need with these girls LMAO

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Dont forget upgrading her CPU every 6 months, thats all you need with these girls LMAO

U mad bro?! Just kidding 🙂

Small update. She's going on vacation with her family, so I texted her hoping she has a great time. She had a pretty lengthy response so I responded and she actually got a little flirty. That's a positive. I noticed a couple days ago she updated her online profile to say, "Be yourself. I want to be smitten, but I cannot be pressured. Love takes time to develop." I got a kick out of that. That may not have been solely about me, but if it wasn't, it means I'm not the only one frustrated with her pace. Lol.

Anyway, she's still out there looking, but she hasn't closed the door on us either.

Posted by Jackstobo
Small update. She's going on vacation with her family, so I texted her hoping she has a great time. She had a pretty lengthy response so I responded and she actually got a little flirty. That's a positive. I noticed a couple days ago she updated her online profile to say, "Be yourself. I want to be smitten, but I cannot be pressured. Love takes time to develop." I got a kick out of that. That may not have been solely about me, but if it wasn't, it means I'm not the only one frustrated with her pace. Lol.

Anyway, she's still out there looking, but she hasn't closed the door on us either.

Hahaha....yep sounds like something I would say or write. We can def be frustrating..hang in there 🙂 (if you want too, no pressure lol)

Posted by zxcvbnm
Poor schmuk! You have difficulty reading between the lines. Don't you? When a lady dates you, pulls back, and tells you that she is still looking.....that means that she is not into you. It is a polite way of rejecting you. You are too crazy about her to realize the truth (aka reality). You should see others too or return to your ex-wife. Some men have difficulty understanding that they have been REJECTED!!

She didn't tell me she was still looking. Her profile is still online and mine is as well. I don't have difficulty reading between the lines. I find it fascinating that she continues to communicate actually. I'm with you zxcvbnm. I keep wondering when she'll finally ignore a text, not answer my call, or say no to going out again. The Virgo women on this site keep saying that's how a Virgal operates at first.

Trust me, I am not putting all my eggs in one basket.

Posted by zxcvbnm
"Anyway, she's still out there looking, but she hasn't closed the door on us either."

You wrote that she's still out there looking. Regardless whether she told you or you stalked her to find out (her profile, etc.), it is over for you guys. Time to pursue the next gal or the ex-wife. The fact she made it known (through profile, friends, etc.) is her polite way of REJECTING you. That will probably be the last time you hear from you or you might hear more polite rejections. (Sorry, I don't have time)

I agree with you, but I guarantee there will be some Virgo women on this site who do disagree with you.

Posted by zxcvbnm
Sad fool who is engaging in wishful, delusional thinking.

You're funny! Bad mood today?

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Dont forget upgrading her CPU every 6 months, thats all you need with these girls LMAO

May your next boss be a Virgo Woman (and that she writes a groundbreaking book on artifacts that you had to uncover for her).

Posted by Jackstobo
Small update. She's going on vacation with her family, so I texted her hoping she has a great time. She had a pretty lengthy response so I responded and she actually got a little flirty. That's a positive. I noticed a couple days ago she updated her online profile to say, "Be yourself. I want to be smitten, but I cannot be pressured. Love takes time to develop." I got a kick out of that. That may not have been solely about me, but if it wasn't, it means I'm not the only one frustrated with her pace. Lol.

Anyway, she's still out there looking, but she hasn't closed the door on us either.

Ah,the-you've-still-got-you-post-up-so-I'll keep-mine-up-dilemma....That's a good sign ,Jackstobo that she is keping you in the loop about her vacation plans.So she'll be "disappearing" with a good reason."A little flirty",that's something you didn't get before,obviously,she's feeling more comfortable.Maybe she didn't think you'd stick around until after the trip.Well,she's starting to feel better if she changed her posting.That's definitely a Virgal mantra.She is thinking about the future and not just struggling to get through the day.As you are coasting along,enjoy the nuances....

Posted by VullcanLazz

Posted by Jackstobo
Small update. She's going on vacation with her family, so I texted her hoping she has a great time. She had a pretty lengthy response so I responded and she actually got a little flirty. That's a positive. I noticed a couple days ago she updated her online profile to say, "Be yourself. I want to be smitten, but I cannot be pressured. Love takes time to develop." I got a kick out of that. That may not have been solely about me, but if it wasn't, it means I'm not the only one frustrated with her pace. Lol.

Anyway, she's still out there looking, but she hasn't closed the door on us either.

Ah,the-you've-still-got-you-post-up-so-I'll keep-mine-up-dilemma....That's a good sign ,Jackstobo that she is keping you in the loop about her vacation plans.So she'll be "disappearing" with a good reason."A little flirty",that's something you didn't get before,obviously,she's feeling more comfortable.Maybe she didn't think you'd stick around until after the trip.Well,she's starting to feel better if she changed her posting.That's definitely a Virgal mantra.She is thinking about the future and not just struggling to get through the day.As you are coasting along,enjoy the nuances....

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I like that you can make her profile being active and the fact that she changed her posting as a positive! 🙂

A little update: I asked her out for this weekend and she said.....yes. So HA! to all you doubters.

So she texted me asking if I've ever been to where she was vacationing. We hadn't communicated since Thursday night. I said no. She wrote that we needed to come back together. Than she started asking how I was, what I was doing, who I was with. Very much not like her. Whatever I am doing is working!!!

HALLELUJAH!

*does church dance*

LOL, for a moment there, I thought you would eat your arm off!

Teasing...

But seriously, I'm happy for you and I know the care package and all of the rest of your hard work had a nice little impact.

Just continue to take it slow and don't put too much pressure, k? I think you will be fine if you just let her take the lead (as she seems to want to) for right now. Can your leonine pride handle that?

Hey now!This is a positive direction Jackstobo!You're getting on the right road,and coasting in neutral(still,right?!).Give her the -it's you and me against the world vibe-,no looking at the waitresses legs,be subtle and relax.Take note and ask questions that don't have yes or no answers.Maybe if you have a medium sized problem that she could give you advice on-don't be obvious or contrived about it.Pay attention when she answers with mouth and eyes.Don't pounce or frighten her and relax.

Well,texting while on vacation?Hmmmm,see ,she was seeing if you were secure enough to let her have some down time and then letting you know she was visualizing you on a trip with her.Both questions were test questions BTW.What you were doing,(not getting drunk,check) and who you were with,(no ex-stripper fwb decieded to come over and clean,check).Good signs there.Just keep being the big kitty relaxing under a shady tree.Easy does it.

VirgoVixxxen,

I was eating my arm off. I went a little crazy for a week. I admit it. I have definitely relaxed and she is coming around because of it. Yes, I can let my Leo pride go. It's my patience I am trying to keep in check. Seeing this woman once a week is definitely tough, but the emotional bond is building. If anyone knows anything about Leo's, it's that in order to keep a Leo, an emotional bond need to be established before a physical one. So she knows what she is doing with me. 🙂

VullcanLazz,

I am staying calm because I know it works better for both of us. Trust me, I don't look around when I'm with her. Not because I'm being careful, but because I don't want to. That's a pretty telling sign for me. When I'm on a date with a woman and I'm noticing the other women in a room, I know the chemistry isn't there for me. When I only notice the woman I am with, she's struck me. The messaging while on vacation was pretty good. She told me some real personal things having to do with her family. It keeps building the emotional bond.

We're going to a baseball game together this weekend, so I'm just keeping things fun and light. She has changed a bit. Not a lot, but a bit. Good changes. 🙂

Sounds like a great idea ! I hope you two have an awesome time! Just to rewind ;what I mentioned what she was asking for test question were just for illustration purposes only,not attacking your character.When we are suspious,we do it well.
You've got this!

It's taken me nearly a week to update this thread because I think I've been in shock. So Virgal and I went to a baseball game last Sunday. Everything was going well. We talked about different things throughout the game. Not much affection, but that's pretty typical. After the game, we went and had dinner. Mind you, we both had been drinking at the game and were now sharing a bottle of wine. Also, if you have read the thread, we are not exclusive. Throughout the day, she was texting on her phone. I didn't think it was appropriate, but I didn't say anything. At one point, her phone lit up and it was a guy. Easy to see. Suddenly another guys name popped up. So I asked her about it. She said these guys were friends. Explained to me who they were. Blah blah blah. Suddenly my phone lights up and it's the name of another woman. She says, see, you're doing the same thing. I said, yeah, but I'm not responding to the text because I'm with you. So she grabs my phone and scrolls though my texts. I'm friends with some women, so I wasn't worried about what she was reading. We got thought that.

After dinner we went to a dive bar to play pool. We're playing pool with some guys we didn't know. Next thing I know, she starts flirting with one of the guys. I didnt do anything since she was pretty buzzed and it seemed harmless. She kept coming up to me and hugging me and kissing me. Suddenly the flirting started getting worse. Her arms were going around the guys waste, she was resting her head on his shoulder, etc. etc. I had finally had enough and said I'm out of here. She grabbed me, hugged me, and kissed me again. I think she's pretty drunk at this point. Of course, I couldn't leave her with four strangers while she's in that state. Meanwhile, the guy comes up to me and actually apologizes saying he doesn't know what to do and that he's being respectful. So, we start another game of pool. Guess what, she goes right back over to the guy and continues her flirting. The guy actually tells her to back off. She got pissed. So I stould there watching the two of them argue. I stopped the game and told her we were leaving.

Outside I told her our relationship was over. I can't be with someone who would treat me that way. Every time I would walk away, she would stop me and kiss me. I kept stopping and continue to walk to my car. I would ask her why she would do that to me. All she would do is hug and kiss me. We got to my car and she pulled me to her. She was pinned between me and the car. I gave in and we started really making out. That lasted for 5 minutes or so. We got in my car and continued to go at it. We finally stopped and I drove her home. I walked her to her door and said goodbye.

We have not communicated a word to each other since. No texting...nothing. I don't think that's a Virgo thing. I think it's a character flaw. If I'm on a date, I wouldn't text other women and I sure as heck wouldn't pick up on another woman. I wouldn't even do that to someone I don't like. It's fricken rude. I can't believe she doesn't have the decency to at least apologize for her behavior.

I sure would be interested to hear someone tell me I'm in the wrong on this one.

Man thats messed up...def not a virgo thing (well for me anyway)
She probably wont apologize for a while if ever...shes probably embarrassed for her behavior, hell Im embarrassed for her! That was totally inappropriate and I dont blame you for dumping her.

Posted by LostinmyMind11
Man thats messed up...def not a virgo thing (well for me anyway)
She probably wont apologize for a while if ever...shes probably embarrassed for her behavior, hell Im embarrassed for her! That was totally inappropriate and I dont blame you for dumping her.

Agreed.

Posted by Jackstobo
Outside I told her our relationship was over. I can't be with someone who would treat me that way. Every time I would walk away, she would stop me and kiss me. I kept stopping and continue to walk to my car. I would ask her why she would do that to me. All she would do is hug and kiss me. We got to my car and she pulled me to her. She was pinned between me and the car. I gave in and we started really making out. That lasted for 5 minutes or so. We got in my car and continued to go at it. We finally stopped and I drove her home. I walked her to her door and said goodbye.

We have not communicated a word to each other since. No texting...nothing. I don't think that's a Virgo thing. I think it's a character flaw. If I'm on a date, I wouldn't text other women and I sure as heck wouldn't pick up on another woman. I wouldn't even do that to someone I don't like. It's fricken rude. I can't believe she doesn't have the decency to at least apologize for her behavior.

I sure would be interested to hear someone tell me I'm in the wrong on this one.

No you're not wrong. She's an attention whore who's insecure, & disrespectful. I had a feeling something was fishy about the whole thing, that's exactly why I said NC was key & the gift giving was the WRONG THING TO DO. You really had no idea who she was or what you were dealing with.

Being too nice to someone is viewed as being weak. Sorry, but it is. When people are too nice in relationships, it is taken for granted & disrespected. These dating days, you gotta stand your ground & be firm with people. Get to know who the person REALLY is before you start giving yourself freely. I bet you know now...

Posted by RealTalk

Posted by Jackstobo
Outside I told her our relationship was over. I can't be with someone who would treat me that way. Every time I would walk away, she would stop me and kiss me. I kept stopping and continue to walk to my car. I would ask her why she would do that to me. All she would do is hug and kiss me. We got to my car and she pulled me to her. She was pinned between me and the car. I gave in and we started really making out. That lasted for 5 minutes or so. We got in my car and continued to go at it. We finally stopped and I drove her home. I walked her to her door and said goodbye.

We have not communicated a word to each other since. No texting...nothing. I don't think that's a Virgo thing. I think it's a character flaw. If I'm on a date, I wouldn't text other women and I sure as heck wouldn't pick up on another woman. I wouldn't even do that to someone I don't like. It's fricken rude. I can't believe she doesn't have the decency to at least apologize for her behavior.

I sure would be interested to hear someone tell me I'm in the wrong on this one.

No you're not wrong. She's an attention whore who's insecure, & disrespectful. I had a feeling something was fishy about the whole thing, that's exactly why I said NC was key & the gift giving was the WRONG THING TO DO. You really had no idea who she was or what you were dealing with.

Being too nice to someone is viewed as being weak. Sorry, but it is. When people are too nice in relationships, it is taken for granted & disrespected. These dating days, you gotta stand your ground & be firm with people. Get to know who the person REALLY is before you start giving yourself freely. I bet you know now...

click to expand

I certainly do know now!!

Great. Every relationship/dating experience is a lesson indeed. It teaches us what we do & DO NOT want. So take this blessin' lesson (is what I call them, lol) & apply it to the future. This was something you needed to learn in order to move forth. You will get the person who deserves & appreciates your kind heart. 🙂

WOW.Ouch dude.Yeah,that's very un-Virgo like,unless she felt extremely cornered.But that's the behavior of one angry woman,whatever tape she was replaying from the past.More than rude,self destructive.Thank your lucky stars,the other guys weren't drunk like her!!That could have gotten ugly fast.She's not ready for anything.If she was that pissed off that women were calling you,then she was obviously on the move as well.Sometimes,you Leo men have a habit of trying to rescue shattered people,it's noble if it turns out well,only when your dealing with Cinderella.At least you got to find out what was behind "the dating manners".Whatever she was doing,she was definitely calling it quits,because she isn't ready,thank the ex(es).She isn't in the same place to settle down...and instead of telling you,she acted out instead.Can't say I'm sorry,why be saddled with a nightmare situation.Unevolved to behave like that,instead of discussing your dating life.

How about a lively active Sag or Aries gal—This defintely gives one pause,how about someone who has closer life style and interests as you—One who is in a similar lifepocket/level as you??You can still lead Mr Leo,just pick someone who wants to be on your team!!Good luck out there.

I saw signs of juggling more than 1 man, unfortunately you didn't see it.

oh and she's damaged & emotionally unstable. she's not ready to date.

Posted by applemint_fv
I saw signs of juggling more than 1 man, unfortunately you didn't see it.

I knew she was juggling other guys. I just didn't think she would juggle them and try and add another one to the mix while on a date with me! Hahahahahahaha....

Clarification-I'm sorry things didn't work out,but I'm glad you didn't get years down the road with her and this oh so demure and attractive behavior emerged.

If she likes you she will keep contact. She wont make first moves unless she really likes you. If she is giving you a drunk invitation she must be think of you, Dangerous but could be the start of things😉

Just check up on her time to time. Giving up isn't en option😉
if she ignores texts tho, all bad!

Posted by VirgoJewels
If she likes you she will keep contact. She wont make first moves unless she really likes you. If she is giving you a drunk invitation she must be think of you, Dangerous but could be the start of things😉

Just check up on her time to time. Giving up isn't en option😉
if she ignores texts tho, all bad!

Oh no no no Sugar...I didn't give up. I walked away. She may be a good woman, she just isn't good for me. I have too much respect for myself to pursue a woman who behaves that way with me. Hopefully there is another man out there, she treats better. I have decisively moved on.

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by Jackstobo
Outside I told her our relationship was over. I can't be with someone who would treat me that way. Every time I would walk away, she would stop me and kiss me. I kept stopping and continue to walk to my car. I would ask her why she would do that to me. All she would do is hug and kiss me. We got to my car and she pulled me to her. She was pinned between me and the car. I gave in and we started really making out. That lasted for 5 minutes or so. We got in my car and continued to go at it. We finally stopped and I drove her home. I walked her to her door and said goodbye.

We have not communicated a word to each other since. No texting...nothing. I don't think that's a Virgo thing. I think it's a character flaw. If I'm on a date, I wouldn't text other women and I sure as heck wouldn't pick up on another woman. I wouldn't even do that to someone I don't like. It's fricken rude. I can't believe she doesn't have the decency to at least apologize for her behavior.

I sure would be interested to hear someone tell me I'm in the wrong on this one.

At her age? She has kids right? Ya its a character flaw.

click to expand

She does not have kids. I have seriously forgotten about her though. Every bad experience is one experience closer to the right one.

Aye! I feel like I've been gone forever!


WOW! What a crappy thing to do!

I'm really sorry you had to go through this. However, the most important thing is that you can rest well at night knowing that you did the best you could, and treated her with respect and kindness all the way through. Better sooner than later, and now that you have the full-blown truth, you can release her and this relationship and move on to bigger and better things. And please don't beat yourself up for any of your past actions. You didn't do anything wrong. All of what you did is what people do when they care about someone and are courting them. It's just that she wasn't the right one.

Good luck and keep in touch.

-VV