Chatz
@Chatz
19 Years1,000+ Posts
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For P-Angel
Understanding Virgo Behavior at Home and in Public
Virgos often present a friendly and kind demeanor publicly but can be moody and distant at home. This duality is common and linked to their perfectionist nature and need for order. Recognizing this pattern helps in managing expectations and building better relationships with Virgo partners or loved ones.
And just so everybody is aware, my post isnt a whinge, its merely to show that P-Angel has always got a barb to throw in when somebody is already down but it would seem her life aint so rosey with her Virgo.
My Easter gift to Mr Virgo has been given because I thought he could use some cheering up....and to be honest, Im glad that he's got it now and not me....I wont be around at Easter so he may as well enjoy it while he needs comfort food anyway LOL. Im sure he's devouring it as I write and Im sure he's grateful...wouldnt even know what he'd be thinking but I thought it was a nice gesture and yes P-Angel, one without any expectation and no, I wont grovel, no I wont do anymore because I think Ive had to understand a hell of a lot during my 6 months with him and even when he has walked away I can still be friendly and caring (which he so desperately wants).
And no Im not too scared to say that if he would have liked me to have come in and chat and share a cup of tea with him that he knows where I am and he knows how to reach me, he knows what to do now....he can make a simple request such as "so how about that cup of tea and a chat"...its oh so simple and he KNOWS I'd come over and he KNOWS he's welcome here...we are not at war, we are just not a couple...you say he "wants you"?? then let him show me that he wants me, rather than hide behind that deep dark depressive room he broods in and plays computer games and come out and see the sunshine and spend some quality time with me rekindling what we had....doubt he will, just my intuition....maybe he'll prove me wrong but no, I wont be making further contact with him except if he does with me.
Tiki, I know you're gonna be pissed at me for giving him his gift but it was always intended for him and it was special and I have nobody else I was to give it to.....I have all my gifts sorted out for everybody else. He deserved that much from me given we had such a great time and yes he treated me very well on the rare ocassion we did get to spend time together in the last few weeks.
End of rant
My Easter gift to Mr Virgo has been given because I thought he could use some cheering up....and to be honest, Im glad that he's got it now and not me....I wont be around at Easter so he may as well enjoy it while he needs comfort food anyway LOL. Im sure he's devouring it as I write and Im sure he's grateful...wouldnt even know what he'd be thinking but I thought it was a nice gesture and yes P-Angel, one without any expectation and no, I wont grovel, no I wont do anymore because I think Ive had to understand a hell of a lot during my 6 months with him and even when he has walked away I can still be friendly and caring (which he so desperately wants).
And no Im not too scared to say that if he would have liked me to have come in and chat and share a cup of tea with him that he knows where I am and he knows how to reach me, he knows what to do now....he can make a simple request such as "so how about that cup of tea and a chat"...its oh so simple and he KNOWS I'd come over and he KNOWS he's welcome here...we are not at war, we are just not a couple...you say he "wants you"?? then let him show me that he wants me, rather than hide behind that deep dark depressive room he broods in and plays computer games and come out and see the sunshine and spend some quality time with me rekindling what we had....doubt he will, just my intuition....maybe he'll prove me wrong but no, I wont be making further contact with him except if he does with me.
Tiki, I know you're gonna be pissed at me for giving him his gift but it was always intended for him and it was special and I have nobody else I was to give it to.....I have all my gifts sorted out for everybody else. He deserved that much from me given we had such a great time and yes he treated me very well on the rare ocassion we did get to spend time together in the last few weeks.
End of rant
Skys don't have a brain fart. Speaketh LOL
Nay, she spaketh not. Say what happened to that other thread any way?
(Just to clarify my post was directed at Tondalea , I was asking about the other thread we were in both commenting on, which has nothing to do with p or this thread actually.) Just in case anyone was wondering.
"You say that I should now understand and go and grovel back for this guy ...."
Do you have reading comprehension problems?
I said nothing of the sort ... and every person, except you, who read what I wrote knows full well that I didn't tell you to go grovel to anybody, over anything.
What I said was ... hopefully, he realizes that you were a mistake, but, at least have a lesson he learned from it.
"I dropped off an Easter gift that I had bought almost a month ago now, something very special."
didn't you just say in the other thread yesterday or the day before that you were finished? No more contacting him, if he wants you he knows where to find you? And now, after you were curt to him in that text you wrote about on the other thread, you counter it with a special gift .... when is Easter?
You've made it clear it is over .. so you go and stir him back up with something hand-delivered?
What an attention whore.
Do you have reading comprehension problems?
I said nothing of the sort ... and every person, except you, who read what I wrote knows full well that I didn't tell you to go grovel to anybody, over anything.
What I said was ... hopefully, he realizes that you were a mistake, but, at least have a lesson he learned from it.
"I dropped off an Easter gift that I had bought almost a month ago now, something very special."
didn't you just say in the other thread yesterday or the day before that you were finished? No more contacting him, if he wants you he knows where to find you? And now, after you were curt to him in that text you wrote about on the other thread, you counter it with a special gift .... when is Easter?
You've made it clear it is over .. so you go and stir him back up with something hand-delivered?
What an attention whore.
The other thread: ... "He wants me, he knows how to reach me and he knows what he has to do - his choice and Im thinking he'll choose to remain alone..."
This thread: ... "you say he "wants you"?? then let him show me that he wants me, rather than hide behind ...."
Both portions of those above quotes are yours, Chatz.
For the record, when I said he wants you on the other thread .. I was quoting you saying it ... see first above.
I will copy it over here, so people understand that when I said he wanted you .. I was quoting you saying it.
Again, do you have reading comprehension problems?
This thread: ... "you say he "wants you"?? then let him show me that he wants me, rather than hide behind ...."
Both portions of those above quotes are yours, Chatz.
For the record, when I said he wants you on the other thread .. I was quoting you saying it ... see first above.
I will copy it over here, so people understand that when I said he wanted you .. I was quoting you saying it.
Again, do you have reading comprehension problems?
I finally returned a text to him when I got home from work from last night...kept it short, sharp and shiny, nothing cutesy, just matter of fact and wished him a good weekend. I have other things to do now, Im not going to sit around and dwell forever and a day. I know that how I feel right now wont last forever (the hard way LOL)
He wants me, he knows how to reach me and he knows what he has to do - his choice and Im thinking he'll choose to remain alone...thats his right and I will respect that decision. Its been a strange few weeks, something I dont want to re-live and you're right Tiki, he had EVERY opportunity to just take her ....
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Chatz, what the fuck ————?
No more cutsey in your communicatin with him?
He wants you, you say.
End of story as far as you are concerned .....
You're a piece work.
The best thing that could happen to him at this point is to write you off as a bad mistake .. but, lesson learned.
********* the above is a post of mine from the other thread that I made on April 3rd at 10:17 am, and the portion above the dotted line is where I copied over a portion of your post from the previous page ... note, where you said .. "He wants me, he knows .."
Also note that there is no mention of me advicing you to grovel ... rather, saying the best thing he could do is write you off.
He wants me, he knows how to reach me and he knows what he has to do - his choice and Im thinking he'll choose to remain alone...thats his right and I will respect that decision. Its been a strange few weeks, something I dont want to re-live and you're right Tiki, he had EVERY opportunity to just take her ....
-----------------------------
Chatz, what the fuck ————?
No more cutsey in your communicatin with him?
He wants you, you say.
End of story as far as you are concerned .....
You're a piece work.
The best thing that could happen to him at this point is to write you off as a bad mistake .. but, lesson learned.
********* the above is a post of mine from the other thread that I made on April 3rd at 10:17 am, and the portion above the dotted line is where I copied over a portion of your post from the previous page ... note, where you said .. "He wants me, he knows .."
Also note that there is no mention of me advicing you to grovel ... rather, saying the best thing he could do is write you off.
Chatz, what I wrote about Virgo's in which you've copied over here .. I believe to be true .. however, it has nothing to do with your situation.
First off .. you two aren't even girlfriend and boyfriend yet ... a committment hasn't even been established, by your own admission.
So, in reality .. all your drama over Miss needs a ride ... is stemming from your own need for self-centeredness .. for in reality, the reality he lives him, as do I ..
.. without actually being your boyfriend, he is free to play taxi to whomever he chooses.
First off .. you two aren't even girlfriend and boyfriend yet ... a committment hasn't even been established, by your own admission.
So, in reality .. all your drama over Miss needs a ride ... is stemming from your own need for self-centeredness .. for in reality, the reality he lives him, as do I ..
.. without actually being your boyfriend, he is free to play taxi to whomever he chooses.
..... and owes you NOTHING .. zilch, no explanation .. nothing.
You would bleat on in here (dxp) about him ... and this is something every person needs to fully realize .......
...... you are just a wanna-be his girlfriend ... and have made this dramatic scene over him exercising his freedom of being a single man.
LOL I wondered what happened to the other thread myself... in the mean time I am enjoy this episode of "As the Butter Churns"
This thread was put here for a different reason, Cusp .... however, I agree with you, and it is the reason why I made the original thread addressing this quality in the Virgo.
"More reserved, introvert, don't want to talk for very long but in person he can't keep his mouth shut and he's all over the place."
People who see/relate to the Virgo in a social setting, on a superficial level don't get the real Virgo .. they get an imposter. However, this imposter is one that the Virgo wants to be, the kind and fun and happy person the Virgo wants to be .... the act, the presentation of how he sees himself, in his self-image.
So, it's really not fake .. though it appears this way to us, the outsiders looking in. Eventhough it's a completely different face than we (the beloveds) see/experience in living with/being with the Virgo .... for we get the scowl, the critiquing, we get the despondent Virgo who is the total opposite of the gracious one, as he parades around in the public eye appearing to be a god-send.
When I wrote the original post, I wasn't sure which was the real Virgo and which was the faker .. but, then I realized that both of these are very much a part of who they are.
Both of them are the right one.
"More reserved, introvert, don't want to talk for very long but in person he can't keep his mouth shut and he's all over the place."
People who see/relate to the Virgo in a social setting, on a superficial level don't get the real Virgo .. they get an imposter. However, this imposter is one that the Virgo wants to be, the kind and fun and happy person the Virgo wants to be .... the act, the presentation of how he sees himself, in his self-image.
So, it's really not fake .. though it appears this way to us, the outsiders looking in. Eventhough it's a completely different face than we (the beloveds) see/experience in living with/being with the Virgo .... for we get the scowl, the critiquing, we get the despondent Virgo who is the total opposite of the gracious one, as he parades around in the public eye appearing to be a god-send.
When I wrote the original post, I wasn't sure which was the real Virgo and which was the faker .. but, then I realized that both of these are very much a part of who they are.
Both of them are the right one.
If this "other" person is a part of their self-image ... then it's real.
theskys .. I will tell you once again, though I have numerous times and still it seems like it cannot actually get into your brain ....... for if you could actually get it, then you would have by now.
It isn't about the Virgo being perfect or mistake free ..... it is about self accountibility, self awareness, self power.
You, as the others, would jump on her bandwagon to make this whole situation the fault of his, while she is an innocent victim .... when in reality ...
.... she had the power to walk away on day one, and chose not to.
The day he fucked her over was his fault.
Every day after that, that she chose to carry these injured feelings around to gain pity and sympathy, instead of actually walking the fuck away with dignity ... was all entirely her fault, and her cross to bear.
from that day forward, so long as she is still in here bleating on about how much of a dick he is and then saying how much she loves him in the next sentence ....... I will continue to remind her that she's fucked up, because she is.
It isn't about the Virgo being perfect or mistake free ..... it is about self accountibility, self awareness, self power.
You, as the others, would jump on her bandwagon to make this whole situation the fault of his, while she is an innocent victim .... when in reality ...
.... she had the power to walk away on day one, and chose not to.
The day he fucked her over was his fault.
Every day after that, that she chose to carry these injured feelings around to gain pity and sympathy, instead of actually walking the fuck away with dignity ... was all entirely her fault, and her cross to bear.
from that day forward, so long as she is still in here bleating on about how much of a dick he is and then saying how much she loves him in the next sentence ....... I will continue to remind her that she's fucked up, because she is.
Hmmm... I agree to some extent P. I feel as though his feelings he had from his deceased wife were a little too strong and unstable to be taking on a relationship but he chose to encourage her to be in one with him.
I do think she should have reconized that from the beginning BUT if he was talking out both sides of his mouth then I can see where she got confused.
The deal with the gossip and the 20yo would have been the last straw for me personally but... I think she thinks she was trying to help him get over some things by being there for him. In the end her wants and his wants/emotions went two different directions.
She was too invested emotionally to actually see what was going on. Love IS blind ya know.
I do wish her the best 🙂
I do think she should have reconized that from the beginning BUT if he was talking out both sides of his mouth then I can see where she got confused.
The deal with the gossip and the 20yo would have been the last straw for me personally but... I think she thinks she was trying to help him get over some things by being there for him. In the end her wants and his wants/emotions went two different directions.
She was too invested emotionally to actually see what was going on. Love IS blind ya know.
I do wish her the best 🙂
I agree that feelings can make people blind .. not just love. Any feelings that aren't in check.
I disagree with something you said here, and other people should probably be aware of this also .....
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Chatz[Quote] 12/12/2008 3:28:07 AM | ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx
ok update:....got the man - i had to make the first move but wow, it was worth all the effort...he's wonderful, so patient and wow!!!! I see him every 2nd or 3rd day....we catch up every day and its just so easy....Im totally in love with him....it feels good.
He's very unsure of himself but Im a pretty confident Leo who will help him there
Wow!!
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This Virgo man is a person to whom she worked with for 5 years, and they were casual friends at work. Then she found out he had a hidden fondness for her, and at that point she began pursing this man .. until her update on 12/12 of last year when she proudly states that she got him, and he was well worth her effort ... which means, this was all her doing, for it to be her effort being put into this. He is unsure, but, she is confident and will help him there.
"his feelings he had from his deceased wife were a little too strong and unstable to be taking on a relationship but he chose to encourage her to be in one with him."
And my point is Ginger, that ^^^^^^ isn't true. He didn't encourage her to be in a relationship with him, nor did he chase her down ... it was visa versa.
"I do think she should have reconized that from the beginning BUT if he was talking out both sides of his mouth then I can see where she got confused."
She's never been confused with this about his deceased wife .. she knew from jump, in fact, she said she's known him for 5 years, and the wife has only been dead 4 ... so she knew, she's known all along.
Go back and read her posting about this man, and you will find out that she started chasing him down the moment she found out he had a secret crush on her. In fact, he never approached her .. he approached him and encouraged him to be with her.
That is .. if she doesn't hide her history now that I said this ... like she's hidden other postings that people keep asking her to open up so they can read for themselves.
I disagree with something you said here, and other people should probably be aware of this also .....
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Chatz[Quote] 12/12/2008 3:28:07 AM | ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx
ok update:....got the man - i had to make the first move but wow, it was worth all the effort...he's wonderful, so patient and wow!!!! I see him every 2nd or 3rd day....we catch up every day and its just so easy....Im totally in love with him....it feels good.
He's very unsure of himself but Im a pretty confident Leo who will help him there
Wow!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
This Virgo man is a person to whom she worked with for 5 years, and they were casual friends at work. Then she found out he had a hidden fondness for her, and at that point she began pursing this man .. until her update on 12/12 of last year when she proudly states that she got him, and he was well worth her effort ... which means, this was all her doing, for it to be her effort being put into this. He is unsure, but, she is confident and will help him there.
"his feelings he had from his deceased wife were a little too strong and unstable to be taking on a relationship but he chose to encourage her to be in one with him."
And my point is Ginger, that ^^^^^^ isn't true. He didn't encourage her to be in a relationship with him, nor did he chase her down ... it was visa versa.
"I do think she should have reconized that from the beginning BUT if he was talking out both sides of his mouth then I can see where she got confused."
She's never been confused with this about his deceased wife .. she knew from jump, in fact, she said she's known him for 5 years, and the wife has only been dead 4 ... so she knew, she's known all along.
Go back and read her posting about this man, and you will find out that she started chasing him down the moment she found out he had a secret crush on her. In fact, he never approached her .. he approached him and encouraged him to be with her.
That is .. if she doesn't hide her history now that I said this ... like she's hidden other postings that people keep asking her to open up so they can read for themselves.
.. he approached him and encouraged him to be with her.
**she**
... she approached him and encouraged him to be with her.
**she**
... she approached him and encouraged him to be with her.
Hmmmm.... well I'm sure she knew about the wife but I was talking of HIS feelings.... how he was dealing with it personally. It seemed that maybe he gave her mixed messages and maybe she thought if she stuck it out she could help him over come it. That is a huge mistake alot of people make. We all have our own healing process and it's different for every person. We can't "help" people along. They have to do it for themselves.
Thanks for the heads up P. 🙂
Thanks for the heads up P. 🙂
Just for the record I did not know how long she had been dead....I thought it was before he started working where we both do...he only told me a few months ago that it hasnt been quite 3 years but it doesnt matter how long it has been, I did know he had lost his wife. People at work said it was because of cancer, that she had been gone for 5 years or so, nobody really knew. I was just sitting back waiting for him to tell me, I didnt want to ask - how do you ask such a thing? is it my business? no.
I love the guy but I have today told him that I am cutting ties with him because I am unable to remove my feelings for him without doing so....fair? I dont know but he is on a different journey than I and we are unable to remain on a journey together (for now anyway)...perhaps in time we can rekindle a friendship but for a man to sit in his cave for a week and say he wants a friendship still and doesnt bother with it? thats ok, thats his right, but I can see as I could all along that it wouldnt be fair on either of us. It will be uncomfortable bumping into one another from time to time as we will do so but it will pass and IM sure that one or the other will break in time. For now though, I need to heal, he does and he needs to go out and enjoy his life again without me as I do need to without him.
He just said "OK, I dont want you to hurt" and left it at that. He is happy with his choice and I am now happy with mine...there is no hostility but I now need to heal and him being there will not help me do so. Im going to say yes to other dates and start enjoying my life again...Ive sat around for a few weeks now feeling sorry for myself and thats ok, we all do at some point. I think the best thing for me to have done is walk away and give him his peace and allowing me to have mine.
His silence this week has spoken volumes and it was him that asked that we remain good friends and he wasnt "opposed to catching up from time to time".....no matter what anybody might think, it would have been unhealthy for me personally to do that, I would have held on and P-Angel? thats my right to take that away from myself, the extended pain, the hoping he'll chat, the hoping he'll ask me out, yada yada yada so you ask me to make the move? I did....I ended the pain today - he accepts that and thats great. We can now both not hurt one another anymore and he will need to find a new girl to spend his life with, I just wasnt the right one for him.
I love the guy but I have today told him that I am cutting ties with him because I am unable to remove my feelings for him without doing so....fair? I dont know but he is on a different journey than I and we are unable to remain on a journey together (for now anyway)...perhaps in time we can rekindle a friendship but for a man to sit in his cave for a week and say he wants a friendship still and doesnt bother with it? thats ok, thats his right, but I can see as I could all along that it wouldnt be fair on either of us. It will be uncomfortable bumping into one another from time to time as we will do so but it will pass and IM sure that one or the other will break in time. For now though, I need to heal, he does and he needs to go out and enjoy his life again without me as I do need to without him.
He just said "OK, I dont want you to hurt" and left it at that. He is happy with his choice and I am now happy with mine...there is no hostility but I now need to heal and him being there will not help me do so. Im going to say yes to other dates and start enjoying my life again...Ive sat around for a few weeks now feeling sorry for myself and thats ok, we all do at some point. I think the best thing for me to have done is walk away and give him his peace and allowing me to have mine.
His silence this week has spoken volumes and it was him that asked that we remain good friends and he wasnt "opposed to catching up from time to time".....no matter what anybody might think, it would have been unhealthy for me personally to do that, I would have held on and P-Angel? thats my right to take that away from myself, the extended pain, the hoping he'll chat, the hoping he'll ask me out, yada yada yada so you ask me to make the move? I did....I ended the pain today - he accepts that and thats great. We can now both not hurt one another anymore and he will need to find a new girl to spend his life with, I just wasnt the right one for him.
I dont think anybody can chastize me for walking away now. We had a great time, we have some wonderful memories but it wasnt meant to be and P-Angel it wasnt him just making the mistake with me, I made the mistake with him and I will take the full hit that I made a mistake as he did tell me back in December he was not ready for a relationship but I am now not ready to go back to being friends. It just cant be and I doubt he'll miss that either.
He needs to continue his life and Im sure that he will be thankful for that 🙂
He needs to continue his life and Im sure that he will be thankful for that 🙂
and I have advised him that I'll be returning his DVD collection tonight, that I would knock on the door and leave them there (yes he'll be home) and not disturb him...he said "ok".
There's been no hostility but he isnt trying to rekindle anything either and now nor am I...life goes on and yes we made a mistake getting intimate, we made a mistake getting close in the first place. It is our mistake to regret and I certainly do because Ive lost my best friend who knew me so well and I him.
It will be a sad Easter but its for the best.
Thank you all - no more really has to be said...its over. P-Angel its over ok? you are happy, he's happy and everybody is happy now.
The end
There's been no hostility but he isnt trying to rekindle anything either and now nor am I...life goes on and yes we made a mistake getting intimate, we made a mistake getting close in the first place. It is our mistake to regret and I certainly do because Ive lost my best friend who knew me so well and I him.
It will be a sad Easter but its for the best.
Thank you all - no more really has to be said...its over. P-Angel its over ok? you are happy, he's happy and everybody is happy now.
The end
theskys thats exactly how it felt. I dont blame him but he did ask for exclusiveness only 3 weeks ago and then to ignore the gossip only days after? it all started after his request for us being together....how can any woman seriously expect to just take everything? I never hassled him, I never accused him but it would have been very helpful had he been able to see that it only took a few words of encouragement throughout the ordeal that we as a couple were ok and that we would rise above it all but he pushed me away during that time, I didnt even get to see or hear from him during the week of the first raising of gossip. To ask somebody to be in a relationship and then push them away to be angry at his own workmates? that doesnt make sense.
Nor did todays comment "i was hoping it would all resolve itself"....talking and assuring somebody you care about helps to resolve things, not avoidance.
As I said, we're now both free of eachother, to do as we please and IM sure he's happier now 🙂 Just sad taht "we" had to be the casualty and Im not actually sure as to why we had to be given I didnt cause any friction about it...yes I thought about it, yes it worried me but yeah....we all know the story.
Blah
Nor did todays comment "i was hoping it would all resolve itself"....talking and assuring somebody you care about helps to resolve things, not avoidance.
As I said, we're now both free of eachother, to do as we please and IM sure he's happier now 🙂 Just sad taht "we" had to be the casualty and Im not actually sure as to why we had to be given I didnt cause any friction about it...yes I thought about it, yes it worried me but yeah....we all know the story.
Blah
It's all part of the duality of virgo, being a mutable sign...It is not fake. Both sides are a true representation of our character, just different parts of it.
You will certainly see similar traits if you know Gemini's, and i've known Pisces to behave like this also. Haven't known many Sags in order to comment further there...
You will certainly see similar traits if you know Gemini's, and i've known Pisces to behave like this also. Haven't known many Sags in order to comment further there...
I don't think it's that he doesn't want you Chatz but in all sincerity you need to back off with all the emotions, your desperate to resolve it all, if you just let it alone and allow him the space and time to get it all figured out for himself it may just turn itself around, as leo your fire (passion) can be overwhelming, let it rest for awhile....
Tiki, I have let him go..Ive walked away. We're better off alone without one another. We made a mistake, I can see that and Im sure he can too.
Im going to bed now. Thank you all, seriously, Im done 🙂 It would be nice though, to see some success stories on here LOL.....guess thats why I keep coming back to these different signs.....but then again, those who are happy wouldnt be on here would they? coz they'd be with that person, not wasting time reading and writing about this stuff.
Seriously, Ive learnt and he has all the space he needs right now, no Im not hoping for him to come back now. Its been talked and thought about to death. My head hurts from it.
I got the message from you all, seriously. We both screwed up, him with his ways, me with mine. Its done 🙂
Im going to bed now. Thank you all, seriously, Im done 🙂 It would be nice though, to see some success stories on here LOL.....guess thats why I keep coming back to these different signs.....but then again, those who are happy wouldnt be on here would they? coz they'd be with that person, not wasting time reading and writing about this stuff.
Seriously, Ive learnt and he has all the space he needs right now, no Im not hoping for him to come back now. Its been talked and thought about to death. My head hurts from it.
I got the message from you all, seriously. We both screwed up, him with his ways, me with mine. Its done 🙂
I don't know! WOMEN don't GET MEN are not going to JUMP into an instant relationship with you. Some men take their time chosing their mates and they cannot be "rushed". A MAN IS NOT going to COMMIT to you and MARRY you right away. You have to enjoy him in the "moments" by just dating him. Unless you have a ring on your finger, you shouldn't put to much investment in him anyways. You are not his wife.
What some women don't realize is you cannot wrap "yourself" up into a man's emotional problems. That is doormatish. I agree, give him some space to come to you BUT you cannot shower him with gifts, love letters, attention, words of endearment...etc.
That is not going to work! YOU have to have some self control. It is NOT playing games, but giving him space to choose what he wants. If he chooses he doesn't want YOU, then wish him well. That is the purpose of dating others people. Pushing your love on him will only make you appear desperate. Most men WANT a woman who is more focused on herself, her feelings and what she has going on for herself. He doesn't want to be the center of the universe- NOT a man, maybe a boy. He wants to come to his own conclusion, his own decisions. You want to let him decide what his fears, insecurities, BELIEFS are on his own without throwing gasoline on the fire.
It may take 3 weeks to 2 months for him to come back to you. Should you wait? Ask yourself questions about what he is doing to benefit you. Let him pursue you. Yes, let him come to you. If you do all the pursuing you are going to kill his attraction for you. Let him do some work. Virgo men are pretty good men. They just WILL NOT ALLOW you to rush them.
What some women don't realize is you cannot wrap "yourself" up into a man's emotional problems. That is doormatish. I agree, give him some space to come to you BUT you cannot shower him with gifts, love letters, attention, words of endearment...etc.
That is not going to work! YOU have to have some self control. It is NOT playing games, but giving him space to choose what he wants. If he chooses he doesn't want YOU, then wish him well. That is the purpose of dating others people. Pushing your love on him will only make you appear desperate. Most men WANT a woman who is more focused on herself, her feelings and what she has going on for herself. He doesn't want to be the center of the universe- NOT a man, maybe a boy. He wants to come to his own conclusion, his own decisions. You want to let him decide what his fears, insecurities, BELIEFS are on his own without throwing gasoline on the fire.
It may take 3 weeks to 2 months for him to come back to you. Should you wait? Ask yourself questions about what he is doing to benefit you. Let him pursue you. Yes, let him come to you. If you do all the pursuing you are going to kill his attraction for you. Let him do some work. Virgo men are pretty good men. They just WILL NOT ALLOW you to rush them.
krobe03: If you do all the pursuing you are going to kill his attraction for you. Let him do some work.
Amen!
If a woman has to carry all the water, THEN HE'S NOT THAT INTO HER.
I agree .... if it takes so much work then it isn't a right fit.
It's suppose to be fluid .. a smooth melding .. not shoving the pieces together to make them fit.
It's suppose to be fluid .. a smooth melding .. not shoving the pieces together to make them fit.
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Up to him now and now I'll go and read the rest of the messages from your original post.