How do you love and encourage a depressed insecure virgo?

Helloooo!!!

So my virguy has a lot going on for him. I have a lot going on academically too but I am relatively in a much better spot than him with my test scores,GPA etc.

He wants to pursue MBA and has to give this really competitive exam in November this year and you need a really high percentile to get calls from top B-schools of our country. One of the girls from our class,who is our close mutual friend, scored a 99.5 percentile in this exam. He couldn't believe it because it's a really really high score. He has been disconnected from me all these days and now I understand why. We just talked(he texted me of his own) and he said he freaked out big time when he heard her score. He's repeatedly saying "im not that smart. I can't do it.". He's adding a laughing emoji after all those texts but I know that's just a coverup. He also said that if he wont be able to crack it then he'll have to breakup. 3 days ago he said he needs total space to focus on his exam prep.

I tried encouraging him by saying that our friend's score should not discourage him but rather motivate him to do so good because if she can, then even he can.

I tried motivating but I know it didn't help much.

We are in our last semester in college now and our college reopens tomorrow so we'll meet. I need suggestions from you virgos as to how can I encourage and keep my virguy motivated. He has gotten really insecure.

As always, thank you ❤️

PS- Also, I must mention, he has recently started belittling me at times. I know it's not acceptable and I fight it out but now I know where is it stemming from. Its his extreme insecurity and lack of confidence talking and I really need some suggestions.

Posted by gia

He also said that if he wont be able to crack it then he'll have to breakup.

That's a nice way to unload the pre exam burden of stress to your significant other. Sharing is caring. He really loves you.

Posted by Koni

Posted by Mr_Pinchy

Posted by gia

He also said that if he wont be able to crack it then he'll have to breakup.

That's a nice way to unload the pre exam burden of stress to your significant other. Sharing is caring. He really loves you.

He is on his way out already. Plus with the belittling, he sounds like a douche and not into you.

click to expand

WELL I'M NOT INTO HIM EITHER!!! 😄

Get him his favorite snacks and coffee, tell him he’s great and that he got this, stroke his ego and his pee pee, then leave him be. Let him know that he knows where to find you when he’s done studying

Posted by Mr_Pinchy

Posted by gia

He also said that if he wont be able to crack it then he'll have to breakup.

That's a nice way to unload the pre exam burden of stress to your significant other. Sharing is caring. He really loves you.

click to expand

Disclaimer - I don't mean to brag about myself but...

It's more about the fact that I am academically much smarter than him so I have chances of getting into one of the top grad schools in the world.

I am no way in support of the supposed ideology that you can't be successful unless you get into a top school.

However, people still strive hard to get into one so both of us are trying for it.

It's really not every guy's cup of tea to have a more successful girlfriend/wife than him.

Again, I am not the one declaring that I'd be more successful than him in future but given the current situation he definitely thinks so. I may or may not be. It doesn't affect anything for me but I know not every guy's male ego will be willing to.

So I know where does his "i'll have to breakup if i wont be able to crack it" come from.

Posted by PostHuman

Blow him and fondle his balls and afterwards tell him he’ll do fine

hahahahaha...Okay,sir xD

Posted by Vitale

Get him his favorite snacks and coffee, tell him he’s great and that he got this, stroke his ego and his pee pee, then leave him be. Let him know that he knows where to find you when he’s done studying

Sounds wise 😄

Posted by gia



Disclaimer - I don't mean to brag about myself but...

It's more about the fact that I am academically much smarter than him so I have chances of getting into one of the top grad schools in the world.

I am no way in support of the supposed ideology that you can't be successful unless you get into a top school.

However, people still strive hard to get into one so both of us are trying for it.

It's really not every guy's cup of tea to have a more successful girlfriend/wife than him.

Again, I am not the one declaring that I'd be more successful than him in future but given the current situation he definitely thinks so. I may or may not be. It doesn't affect anything for me but I know not every guy's male ego will be willing to.

So I know where does his "i'll have to breakup if i wont be able to crack it" come from.

If you have a chance to get into a top grade category of school in the world, you go for it, don't even flinch. Top school isn't as much about passing on knowledge better than some competent school that isn't listed at the top, but it's more about the connections you make while attending.

Just go for it, this dude sounds like dead weight and he knows it and is either actively or indirectly dragging you along with him. Idk as soon as ultimatum's start flying around......

Posted by Mr_Pinchy

Posted by gia



Disclaimer - I don't mean to brag about myself but...

It's more about the fact that I am academically much smarter than him so I have chances of getting into one of the top grad schools in the world.

I am no way in support of the supposed ideology that you can't be successful unless you get into a top school.

However, people still strive hard to get into one so both of us are trying for it.

It's really not every guy's cup of tea to have a more successful girlfriend/wife than him.

Again, I am not the one declaring that I'd be more successful than him in future but given the current situation he definitely thinks so. I may or may not be. It doesn't affect anything for me but I know not every guy's male ego will be willing to.

So I know where does his "i'll have to breakup if i wont be able to crack it" come from.

If you have a chance to get into a top grade category of school in the world, you go for it, don't even flinch. Top school isn't as much about passing on knowledge better than some competent school that isn't listed at the top, but it's more about the connections you make while attending.

Just go for it, this dude sounds like dead weight and he knows it and is either actively or indirectly dragging you along with him. Idk as soon as ultimatum's start flying around......

click to expand

He's not really a dead weight.He's a very smart guy. Just a highly discouraged one who hasn't been much ambitious(until now).

The reason why I even fell for him is because I realized how smart he is. People in our class were shocked that we got in a relationship because I'm this absolute nerd while he was just the opposite with poor grades. We were best friends for 6 months prior to our relationship and that's when I realized what a waste of talent he is. In the 1st 2 years of college, all he focussed on was being happy in life by getting sex 6 times a day from his ex as a teen. He regrets it now.

We had a tough course during the previous semester and he was the one who grasped it much better and faster than anyone else and even helped me understand few concepts. He never worked hard and aimed to get good grades until we got in a relationship. He scored a 3.8/4 GPA from his usual 2.7 GPA in the previous semesters.

All our classmates,including some of our professors, say that i have inspired/influenced/helped him score good(and he doesnt like that,of course) and it's true I never helped him out but I definitely did influence him to work hard and score good.

So, I know this guy has a great potential but he has never made use of his intelligence because he lacked ambition until now. Even now he is low on confidence. I think I might be the reason behind his sudden drive to do well in life. However, he is still too insecure and diffident.

To put it simply - I know he feels happy and proud when I do well in class or in competitive exams. However, that makes him insecure and scared fearing if he won't be able to do well for himself. That's why he is unsure about the future of our relationship.

I know he needs a lot of encouragement and support and that's why I need ideas on how can I keep him motivated.

Posted by Koni

How does he belittle you?

ahahaha ..Let's not get there as I don't want to turn this thread into bashing him up 😛 xD

The guy needs my support,love and a hell lot of motivation.

Posted by virgoop

Posted by gia

Posted by Mr_Pinchy

Posted by gia



Disclaimer - I don't mean to brag about myself but...

It's more about the fact that I am academically much smarter than him so I have chances of getting into one of the top grad schools in the world.

I am no way in support of the supposed ideology that you can't be successful unless you get into a top school.

However, people still strive hard to get into one so both of us are trying for it.

It's really not every guy's cup of tea to have a more successful girlfriend/wife than him.

Again, I am not the one declaring that I'd be more successful than him in future but given the current situation he definitely thinks so. I may or may not be. It doesn't affect anything for me but I know not every guy's male ego will be willing to.

So I know where does his "i'll have to breakup if i wont be able to crack it" come from.

If you have a chance to get into a top grade category of school in the world, you go for it, don't even flinch. Top school isn't as much about passing on knowledge better than some competent school that isn't listed at the top, but it's more about the connections you make while attending.

Just go for it, this dude sounds like dead weight and he knows it and is either actively or indirectly dragging you along with him. Idk as soon as ultimatum's start flying around......

He's not really a dead weight.He's a very smart guy. Just a highly discouraged one who hasn't been much ambitious(until now).

The reason why I even fell for him is because I realized how smart he is. People in our class were shocked that we got in a relationship because I'm this absolute nerd while he was just the opposite with poor grades. We were best friends for 6 months prior to our relationship and that's when I realized what a waste of talent he is. In the 1st 2 years of college, all he focussed on was being happy in life by getting sex 6 times a day from his ex as a teen. He regrets it now.

We had a tough course during the previous semester and he was the one who grasped it much better and faster than anyone else and even helped me understand few concepts. He never worked hard and aimed to get good grades until we got in a relationship. He scored a 3.8/4 GPA from his usual 2.7 GPA in the previous semesters.

All our classmates,including some of our professors, say that i have inspired/influenced/helped him score good(and he doesnt like that,of course) and it's true I never helped him out but I definitely did influence him to work hard and score good.

So, I know this guy has a great potential but he has never made use of his intelligence because he lacked ambition until now. Even now he is low on confidence. I think I might be the reason behind his sudden drive to do well in life. However, he is still too insecure and diffident.

To put it simply - I know he feels happy and proud when I do well in class or in competitive exams. However, that makes him insecure and scared fearing if he won't be able to do well for himself. That's why he is unsure about the future of our relationship.

I know he needs a lot of encouragement and support and that's why I need ideas on how can I keep him motivated.

sex 6x/day?!

he's full of shit!

click to expand

IKR!! Initially I never believed it completely ,especially because I was a virgin.

However, he's someone with a super high libido and his ex had a higher libido (plus,they were just 18-19 then) and were almost in a live in so they had an entire day home alone to themselves.

He's happy he had that 'wild' experience with her but he's happier we have a much sober relationship than with his ex.