How do you make a choice? (Page 2)

hey do you know why it feel so wonderful that these ladies wanted to be friends with you?
..coz there's nothing more left for them to do, did i just confuse you?lol

i don't understand why do you get so attached more on all your exes? unresolved issues haunting you? past is past, live your life now!

so there's no point with this conversation you said this isn't love right? but confusion.

sometimes also, you may want to persue someone in a romantic way and when someone of the past you weren't completely over comes back...you'll have to stop and evaluate...and it is OK. it doesn't mean i loved one and lied about it...or that i want the other back because she came back...but because i have all the right of the world to evaluate my decisions before i keep on going...and yes of course hurting people is not good...but LOVE in itseld vgurl and littlesparrow...LOVE in itself is full of risks and hurts at some point...we all just hope for the best return...and all we can take with us is wonderulf memorioes and new lessons.

therefore, if i would get back with my ex-aqua or would ever get back with my recent ex-libra...and one of them feel torn and decided to call it quits eventually...or course i will hurt...but eventually i will try to understand why that happened and will just hope that they are really really happy with whatever chances they take.

as i get older...right does not equal good feelings...but right choices.

you know the answers to all your questions.

choices becomes right when we become contented with what we have, appreciative, and grateful.

vgurl,

i was just responding to your comment, since its about me, that's all.

and yes there is love...

and about my exes...hmmm...that is a good point. i had 3 serious girlfriends before ms. libra over one year each, i dated a lot, but only persued long-term with those 3 and was forseeing to that with ms. libra too if things wouldn;t have changed. i think the reason why i care for them so much to this day is because...i feel that i gave each one a piece of heart that i would never get back...and also because once i date someone i promise that person that i'll always be a friend, no matter whatever happens in the long run...and when i promise something...i do my best to make that happen.

over time, they become very dear friends to me. it takes time to get there and not everyone will be up for that...but when you do move to a strictly friendship kind of love...it is really great, because that person knows you so well.

the one thing i am careful though is to make sure i respect boundaries my exes may have if they are dating a new person.

things are getting more clear for me vgurl...so confusion times are fading right now.

"choices becomes right when we become contented with what we have, appreciative, and grateful"

i need to think more about this...

you know why you hang on to these exes? because you invested too much emotions and efforts for them and you still can't accept that all these emotions and efforts gone sour. love can never be measure in the amount of time you've been with the person, time you've known the person. you can just feel that you love that person and that's the only person you will ever love because she is different. rather special.

this is not idealism, you live in your own illusions. instead of being more aware and conscious to all the people around you.

i got your point no need to explain further, been there done that. you know what's right for you. stay stronger!

and when i say it's special. you only say and do things only to that one person. only both of you know -- both of your hearts know.

it's like having a custom made pair shoes made just for you.

ah..to love and be loved. best thing to fill your heart and soul, but doesn't exist here on earth. Why then does that longing in us exist, if the answer to the longing...

is not even here to access...

😕

it does exist, when both people choose to make it happen.

..and if it fail while patiently waiting, trying and hoping, that's the time a person should muster unconditional love

vgurl,

"..and when i say it's special. you only say and do things only to that one person. only both of you know -- both of your hearts know.

it's like having a custom made pair shoes made just for you."

totally agree with that...but vgurl to get there and to have all that you will have many trials, loves doesn't come a simple and clear sometimes and even when it does love faces challenges such as that of confusion when things get hard.

anyone who has been married here will tell you that.
so although i very much agree with the ideal of love between two people and the existence of such a thing, i also have learned that challenges do come and confusion will set in at times...but if love persist then it is possible to make it grow even stronger than before.

in order to put on those perfect matching shoes you mentioned you may have to try to put on some others not so perfect for you and/or have people who may want them just like you, or they may be damaged and as perfect as they fit, you'll have to fix them too...so finding love is only part of the process of loving...

reiniba,

"ah..to love and be loved. best thing to fill your heart and soul, but doesn't exist here on earth. Why then does that longing in us exist, if the answer to the longing...
is not even here to access..."

very poetic reiniba. i think love does exist here on earth, but sometimes it takes time to see it clearly or in consistent basis ya know.

the answer to the longing can be fullfilled...it just takes a little time to get there i think.

also, there is the love we have for one another, the one we have for ourselves, and some of us do consider a love for God...so all these kinds of love demosrate us different ways to see love.

i think because of the essence of love, that i consider fundamentally divine (the beginning of it all), we may not be able to see it or knowing completely until we get to the place it came from...thus what we taste here, although wonderful and exciting, is only part of the whole package and only a little part of what we could recieve.

question: why would you think love is not accesible here?

vll

p.s. dyrstr8z, i missread your comment then, sorry.

hmmm i may be a little contradictive, that is true.
i think it may have to do with my indicisiveness and fears.

random fact: penguins are monogamous and they mate for life...even after years of separation and trials in their march (due to the cold weather, lack of food, and other animals that attack them) the ones that do survive look for their mate for life and baby penguins and get back together...after months or even years, they can recognize them just by the sounds.

thought: if penguins can do that, maybe there is hope!

i know what you mean because i am married to the man i chose to love and it's not an easy thing to do.

if you see these trials as an illusion rather than use them as an awareness, every goal you want to reach will always be an obstacle. it's like saying you want a right partner for you but you think that the one you're with is not the right one for you.

no matter how hard the other person try and want to be the right one for you but if you think they're not, they will never be.

it's not maybe for when the heart knows love there's always room for hope.

vgurl,

don't you have a choice about who do decide to marry though? if so, when you are in the process of making that choice, isn't it true that struggles will exist before and after that decision as well? then these struggles can bring wrong choices, disillusions, but also a persistent desire to be with the one you love above all things and people..

i feel like you are sayin that love is so clearly defined once you see it...is it?
i agree with your concept of unconditional love and commitment completely, i just don't think you see the 'dating' process the same though, am i wrong?

first of all, before you choose the person you want to marry, have you tried asking yourself if you are ready to get married?

if you are sure about whom you want to marry you won't get puzzled with all these useless anxiety because you should realize that marriage is not a simple thing.

dating. i know what that word mean. who and when i should date. but i also know when i should stop dating and stop looking for more by being contented with the one i am with. but you are denying your own feelings and you're only fooling yourself for such. you said it's not love and that it's just not being sure or knowing what to do? come one. it isn't even helpful. you're not even sure about what you really want.

the more you wander, the more you open your options, the more indecisive and prone you are to change.

it does exist, when both people choose to make it happen.

Oh yes, of course. Love is always the constant in the formula. Consider, however, the variables. The variables change. Yes, one of the variables, some will say, is mutuality However, this mutuality is not a constant. It can change. I don't know how many times I've seen it.
That's why some will also say ?I found true love again? True love (whatever that may be to you at the moment) exists as long as it takes for you to Grow or the other person who helped in the mutuality to grow. It can either be closer together or farther apart. But there are different intensities of this love experience that people have and yet that is why you can say ?I found true love again?
As long as it takes to grow. Unless..the person doesn't ever grow...hmmm... Of course, usually people don't see it in this light if they are in the middle of being in love and therefore, are blinded by ?true love? at the moment.

Okay, you know the birthdays of 11 Virgos - that's great. But, if you know them really well, why the hell are you on the Virgo Board asking: "Should I even bother trying to establish a "friendship" when I'm full aquarius and he's virgo with tendencies of Libra?" The ONLY Virgo you cite in your original post is your Dad, "I just want to confirm your point of view since my dad is of a different generation." (FYI: I have access to the personal data - including birthdays - for ALL the members of my organization, but I certainly don't claim to be knowledgeable about all 6500+ individuals!)

(to FYI:
I know that, so does my dad for people he's known his entire life)

yeah and we do not have the average friendship. if we talk to each other, it is for as long as we can take it. doesn't mean we don't analyze each other enough to know something about each other. but that doesn't necessarily mean that we can look past our differences either, wouldn't you say?
that's why later on in my topic I asked if there was a possible WAY for the virgo to look past one of the major differences. I thought you virgos synthesized everything...why aren't you? I just feel like I'm repeating myself with you.
I say "Out of my friends" because I've known them long enough for them to have been more than just acquaintances.
so we only talk to each other long enough to use each other, not to necessarily, look past our differences and willing to be open and honest about everything with each other, which is the real average friendship

heh. why can't you just tell me why the flying flip you all have to be so conservative in that manner. Why can't you accept someone for who they are. Why can't you all give and not expect anything back in return. Why do you require people to conform to rules that you don't even follow yourself. You all call yourselves realists, and I always find myself begging to differ. v.v Just accept people the way they are, Imperfect! No, you don't have to conform to us, but it doesn't mean that you have to give up on us because you think the only person acceptable above all others is yourself. I would start having a little bit more compassion

What's the true story, morning glory?

Are you really the Reiniba-Chan who posts to anime fan sites, or are you a DXP member with a known screen name posing as a brassy smart-assy teenie-bopper Aqua?

Neither. I am what I am here.

vgurl,

"the more you wander, the more you open your options, the more indecisive and prone you are to change"

do you think it is acceptable to wonder...during the dating process?

i totally agree with the marriage commitment, like i said.
i'm not married and i don't know that i will be one day, but i'm defenitely open to the possibility.
i want a stable family, so once i say yes, i will mean it.

however, i think, the dating process is about figuring out if that person is the right for you or not AND if you are the right person for them as well...AND at a given point in time and given certain factors...

so that's why while i knew i didn't handle my dating process with ms. libra and ms. aqua so smoothly...because i wasn't sure what to do...i didn't understood why you thought i should have been very clear about the choice i was supposed to make...since the choice wasn't about who i was going to marry or fall in love with...but about who i was going to date...to see where that will take me...

i defenitely do agree that faster resolutions in confusion can be better for everyone, but sometimes it takes time to consider all the facts...so i don't think dating is a life or death decision...but rather a step closer that takes you in the direction you want to go...the more steps you take towards commitment, the more serious things should be...but you should always be respectful of people on the run...

what do you think?

reiniba- hola!

roxi - i read a post about your virgo son, i think you are a wonderful mom. i don't think that my mom ever knew my sign until this year! you are very perceptive to his needs and fears which shows me the type of caring mom you are. i hope things get much better between him and his dad. sometimes we have a hard time expresing things...

i'm sorry RC..........but you really damaged your credibilty on your first post. you are only 17........so your views on love just dont carry any weight........especially when you start getting arsey with people..........i know its hard as an aqua to express yourself without pissing people off.....but you really must try not to be so defensive and offensive.

it's pretty sad you can only say I'm wrong rather than prove me wrong.
Honestly, in the end, no one really ever cares about anyone else's opinion but their own no matter how clear, consise and logical one may seem.
but no worries here. You'll figure it out on your own when you grow. you'll find yourself making what you thought was sombody else's dumb opinion your own opinion, whenever that may be.

And I really don't care how pissed off you or anyone else is by me saying this or anything else.

so why don't you do us all a favor and let me be me. this is just a waste of thread.
Know it,love it,live it, accept it, store it and MOVE the hel* on, cause you really get off topic everytime you yap about me. I'm not the topic, VLL is. : )

VLL- hola mi hermano! como estas hoy?

"How do you make a choice?"

...Any mini, mani moe....

"hola mi hermano! como estas hoy?"

Bien, gracias, y tu?

what is it that YOU lack that makes me such a threat, dy? you exposed me, so what? I wasn't hiding. o_O

you win

of course i respect your opinion. not because there's an argument or rather opposing opinions, i don't respect you.

if this is about collect and collect and then select thing, you will never find the one that is right for you. because every person you mate or date you will eventually leave a piece of you.

it's your call, virgowithalittlelibra. you can't ask anyone here how do they make their choices and follow their footsteps, everything will still be up to you, stand up on your own and mean whatever you say and feel.

when you see the complete person-both the things you like and those you dont you will have greater chances of experiencinig a more fulfilling relationship.

if you have a one sided view of anything it can ruin your life. infatuation is based on a lopsided perception. when your perception of a person or a situation is all good all perfect, your perception is lopsided.

ironically, we're the ones creating all the illusions that we resent.

infatuation is like putting someone on a tallest pedestal you can build and then months later you wish they'd jump. in other words, you're kidding yourself!

there are always two sides of a story, for ever perceived positive there's always a perceived negative to balance the scales. we can keep our eyes and hearts open and see both sides of people, situation, things in our lives or hang from imaginary pedestals until they begin to disintegrate and come tumbling down.

truth is that it is not love, but lack of love which is blind.

your choice.