How do you make a choice?

If you were torn between two people you really REALLY like...what would you base your choice upon?

What do you think is the best approach when making a decision in starting or ending a relationship?

I'm still torn between my Libra and my Aqua girl...and need some help from any Virgos out there!

VLL

dyrtrz8 and virggotme -

"This is an easy one: Think of the Libra, then the Aqua... Which thought made you smile?"

Both! 🙂 lol...(dang it!)

Thank you so much for responding. Maybe I thought so quickly about them both and about happy times...that I smiled with the thought of each, but whenever I get some time off today, I'll evaluate those images a bit more...did you ever thought about two people and yet smiled at the thought of both?

Roxijam! -

Your's friend story is so similar to mine. Have you read my dilemma?

They both have their pros and cons, like everyone of course.
I wish you and I could sit and get a coffee, so you could help me with the same evaluation you and your friends had 😛 what a good friend you are!

I don't open up easily to friends in my real life here about these issues, because I don't want them to know how confused I feel right now...

Anyhow...this is why I am so torn

- I feel equally attracted to both (which is hard for me because of my picky ways)
- They are both fun to hang out with
- They are both open to give me the time I need to figure things out
- They both believe in me and encourage me in my decisions

But

- Libra girl has a kid, and although I love her kid, I'm not sure I'm ready for that at this point in my life.
+ Aqua girl has no kids, but would be willing to have them when it's time.

However

- Aqua girl can be very aloof and she thinks she belongs to the world (constantly making plans with friends 24/7, thus I don't always feel like a priority).
- Aqua girl gives up on me at the first sign of trouble, she's stubborn in her ideas (even when they are wrong), and when she is mad she can be extremely cold and non-caring.
- Aqua girl has a hard time comprimising in relationships.
- Aqua girl has a hard schedule, and she's always busy when she's not working, so we only talk once a day, maybe twice rarely, and not for very long.

+ Libra girl always makes me feel like a priority
+ Libra girl tries to work really hard at making things work, doesn't give up easily, and she is not so fixated in her own ideas...very open to accept she may be wrong.
+ Libra girl has my schedule, and even thought she has a kid, she isn't into her friends or activities as much as she is into relationships, thus she calls me whenever she can and we can talk for a long time if we want to.

Continued..

Yet...when going out...

- Libra girl is very flirtatious, and she doesn't recognize that
- Libra girl is trouble when she drinks
+ Aqua girl doesn't interact that way with strangers, maybe only with few friends (at least not on my face)
+ Aqua girl isn't bad when she drinks

Finally though...
Although Ms. Libra has her things, she is willing to change...so much so, last time we went out, she didn't drink much at all, she didn't flirt at all...she did pretty well.

Meanwhile, I'm meeting my Aqua girl tonight to define things, even though she already told me she also made plans to hang with her friends tomorrow afternoon and night...so I think, as usual, we only have one night (few hours) to hang out and talk about all this.

So that is why I'm so confused Roxijam...

notso07 -
I don't believe much in horoscopes, but I could see interesting stuff about personality traits in signs, that's how I found this site on the first place.

Supposedly neither one of them is the easiest for Virgos...lol...how funny, maybe i like that challenge though...who knows. I feel attracted to all Air sign and Piscis for some reason.

Anyhow, I'll take everything eveyone says here with careful consideartion.

Thanks!

VLL

choice in what? if you should love someone or not? whom you should love among the list of your prospects?

love is an act of free will. love is contentment. we don't love someone just because they loved us first. that's the mystery of love, it's a leap of faith. this is applicable for those who are in the stage of courtship. if a person is dead-set to achieve something or have something a person should set it as a goal and will be patient with that goal to achieve it. actively hoping, trying and waiting. that's how love is built.

same thing goes with couples. for this relationship to survive, there are changes and trials that are under our control that may happen, it's just a matter of being strong for each other and be willing to compromise. if nobody is willing to sacrifice nothing will happen in the relationship.

you can't talk peace and have a gun. you can't talk about feelings if it's not really there and you don't have anything to give. you are only confusing yourself. you can't ask for true love when all the love you can give is stingy and calibrated. you can't say you don't want a broken relationship when you do things that will destroy the relationship. you say you're not happy with your relationship, you want to be with your partner 24/7, you want to see them 24/7, your partner is more successful than you, your partner is more rich, etc etc. so you play around, flirt around and look for someone who can have more time, more easily to be pleased, someone who's not high maintenance and you say you don't want a broken relationship? what do you expect the person should feel about it? especially knowing it? feeling that both of you are growing apart? without talking about the issues that piled up in between?

this is a test in your relationship and it's not fair to test your partner's capability to be able to meet your expectations. you talk things through because you can' expect people to read what's going on in your mind and heart.

you can't find a perfect person you can't pick the things you want with the other and the other in another. you become the right person to the one you choose to love and that person will eventually be the right person for you.

Virgowithalittlelibra,

If you have to "think" which one is moving you . . then you're not FEELING either one. To weigh pros and cons on selecting something is wise, so long as it's a product.

Love is emotional, mate. Which one can move you, talk to your heart without uttering a word . . whichever one knows your true self and nurtures is with love, is the one you love.

Sounds like you've made your decision vwal! I mean I'm a libra in a relationship with a virgo so I must say I am kind of partial....

However it looks to me as if the Libra girl....based on what you have posted kinda gets you or really makes an effort to! It looks as if she views this as a partnership....Think of the kid as someone extra to love you! 🙂

He doesn't appreciate the Libra never did. He should have left her alone in the first place. He always compares her to the Aqua. He should just leave her alone as much as that is going to break her heart.

Needless heartbreak.

The Libra loves him more but he is just using her to build up his ego. It makes me angry.

being torned between two lovers is not showing love at all. you won't do things such as this to the one you love perhaps it's for your own good. that is. respect.

OOOH....good points

This is a lose/lose situation. Try to get out of it with your insanity intact...

Instead, spend your energy on somebody more compatible...... Scorpio or Taurus are excellent choices.

*** Instead, spend your energy on somebody more compatible...... Scorpio or Taurus

better yet ... just stick with your hand. 😉

little sparrow - i'm going to have put your sparrow down for a second before it breaks of so much pressure againt my chest 🙂
I respect your opinion and I value your honesty, but I do not use my hand for anything else other than shaking hands of nice people or holding someone else's hand so i rather not take that one advice...I may not be a saint in many ways, but defenitely I'm not as bad as you think I am.

I'm so sorry little sparrow and whoever else that I came across like a jerk. This situation isn't a game for me, that's why I'm here.

I don't know how many of you have ever been torn between dating two people, but that is where I am, so I can apologize for the way I came across in your eyes, but not for where I am in my life and for the way things are...some of that is in my control...and I'm trying to sort that out...but some of that it isn't wasn't nor will be.

I'm trying to change that stage, remember, that's why i came here asking.
If I loved seeing two girls right now, I wouldn't care about changing things, don't you think...

I'm not asking who I can love, because love in itself it isn't much of choice. I was asking how I should make a choice about who I should date.

I've been seeing them both and they BOTH know about it and are dealing with that because they aren't rushing into defining things with me either...

Ms. libra's logic is that i'm silly for me to think about my X given what i went through, so in her mind, regardless of what i say or she knows...she thinks i'm desillusional if i think about getting back with her. Therefore she sticks around until i come to my senses (she says) it is a choice she is making and has been making all along too. Maybe she is thinking with her heart more than her head...i don't know. but all i can do is make MY choices and she will have to make hers too.

I've been honest with her about where i am and of course i care for her. She won me over time, bit by bit with her love...BUT she has a kid...and i don't know how to handle that...plus i met her only weeks after i ended all things with my ex...so we both (ms. libra and i) took a risky choice in gettin involved with each other back then. i know that now.

I think libras are awesome. Ms. Libra is the cutest and sweetest girl...

but like in every choice there factors I need to consider...and the reason why I took my time, little sparrow, is not because I've been so very selfish (although I'm sure I am at times) but because getting to know if you can be with someone, for me, takes time.

I've tried to get completely done with my xAqua, but I can't stop caring about her the way I do...maybe is love, maybe is infatuation, maybe is fear...I don't know.

What I know though, is that I care for their hearts and my own, so I need quit seeing one or both...or something, because I can't love completely any otherwise...

vgurl, menamisteries, and p-angel...i'll respond to your comments soon, thank you!

vll

is it better to make a choice based in sun sign of a person? i think you know better than this. you know who is right for you.

goodness,

i honestly didn't mean to offend anyone here.

dyrtr8z,

i'm not whinning about things, i just was asking some inputs about approaching this situation...but you have your opinion on the whole subject and i will respect that as i hope you respect my situation too.

i know now i can't expect you to be open to understand where i am...and that is okay, but it was nice for you to at least read some of this stuff...there is more to the story that a simple paragraph bro. just read what you want.

roxyjam and vgurl,

i'll sort all this throguh, thank you for reading all this.

i'll be bluntly honest and strong in cutting all ties with whoever i need to after all the talks we all have tonight (me with my x aqua and ms. libra with her xbf and baby's daddy) so i know everything will work out for the best.

no worries about my buttt getting kicked. i know is harder to know a person's intention in this 2-dimensional worlds.

talk to you all later...

"I don't think you actually love either one of them. So in all honesty, both are fine, because they serve their purpose."

I agree, the words "what will i get out of this,who has the best package" keep coming to mind for me.

Its not about love... real love will drag you to the right one no matter how much you kick and scream!!!! it makes teh choice for you

this is all so good, i value everyone's opinion.

p-angel you said something really insighful:
"Love is emotional, mate. Which one can move you, talk to your heart without uttering a word . . whichever one knows your true self and nurtures is with love, is the one you love"

but the question i have is..isn't knowing someone's true self an action that takes time? it is nice to know someone can know you though...i think that is safe place to be.
nobody knows anybody really well...but there are some that have that connetion and enter in your heart like that...like you said...to move you inside.

roxyjam:
thinking about her kid, as someone else who can give me extra love 🙂 that is such a sweet way to look at things, that sounds beautiful...

like Dystr8z has said though, as harsh as he has been, i'm nervous because i worry about the best interest in the kid....i worry about that too, and you know how virgos worry about things...
if i have kids on my own one day i want them to go to the best schools and not lack anything at all...and i'm 26 right now and just got a house...the kid is 5 and her mom is 32...there are many factors i haven't mentioned here that make me worry about things...but i do love them both greatly...i do.

i only saw the kid once, she's awesome. i told ms. libra i didn't thought me and the kid should see each other everytime until her mom and i defined what was going on between us...thus i only met the kid once...but i did talk to her often over the phone, they live in a different city...so we have only seen each other once a week or so.

sigh.

there is a guy she was dating, who is older and has this huge house (mine has only 2 rooms) and he has a kid of his own...ms. libra and him use to date all throughout highschool...for years and years...his kid love her kid...and so do both families...that guy loves her too...so despite my attraction and feelings towards her...i always felt like he was a better match for her in many ways. he even has a pool for the kids, lol, whereas all i have is a nice house, cool car, and a puppy 🙂...oh yeah and a confusing heart scared of commitment...so realistically speaking...they need more than what i could give them...

i talked to her about this...about 3 times during all these months, but i think she fears many things in her world too, so it was easy to hang unto something uncertain for a while...

i thionk she has been hurt in the past (the kid's dad was a major jerk) so she fears commitment as well, and with me, she knew things would go reaaaally slow...so i don't think i was that bad for her...but while she sees and enjoys our present i also think about the future...and i think the kid needs more than where my life is.

if i would be ready to get married right now, she would be an excellent mate...no doubt. she gives it all and works at it wholeheartedly...she is impulsive in some ways and doesn't filter some words and actions...but when she wants to work things out...she does everything she can to show you she loves you....

but because of that i think she could make any other guy really really happy. i think she's scared to see that, but i see a potential in her for long-term relationships i have seen in few people....she needs someone who is able to give all that she is ready to give though...and for whatever reason i feel like i can't do that right now. maybe is fear, maybe is the reamining feelings for my x, maybe is the responsability i feel...i don't know.

i sent a long e-mail to her last night.

she met her exboyfriend and i met my exgirlfriend too. im sure we will figure out what's best for everyone soon.

vll

thank you roxyjam, dstrz8, p-angel, brandon, vgurl...and menemesteres you are sweet.

vll

pdragon too.

i'm still learning in the "relationship" arena...

Virgowithalittlelibra,

First, on a lighter note . . and you have to understand, my sense of humor is somewhat twisted and demented . . when I saw your name, I thought, "He's announcing that he has a little junior." lol, I know, sex always on my brain, what can I say . . I'm human.

"but the question i have is..isn't knowing someone's true self an action that takes time? it is nice to know someone can know you though...i think that is safe place to be.
nobody knows anybody really well...but there are some that have that connetion and enter in your heart like that...like you said...to move you inside."

You're absolutely right . . nobody REALLY knows the trueness of another. But, what we can use to make this measurement is looking deeper into a person to see what thier intentions were. We say things, we do things . . and sometimes, those are outside responses . . and not how we really feel.

So, if one of those two women has the genuine feelings for you to tear away what is only reactionary - to see the man inside and what he actually "meant", then that is someone who is willing to accept you for who you are.

Don't stress yourself over the "worry" thing. Most non-Virgo's only look at this state as something petty, or self-inflicting torment, most find it quite irritating in the Virgo. But, it's a matter of your intentions, not the outside reactions. Virgo's ponder everything BECAUSE they care, not to be pesty worry-warts. They do this because they are concerned, not because they are looking for problems that don't exist.

I think it's quite normal and natural for you to come on here and ask this question. Knowing that you're a Virgo, I'd think something was off-balance if you didn't contemplate what's going on in your life.

You are justifying.

The relationship between the Libra and her ex .... didn't work out. Sure, we are all compatible with any number of people, but at the moment she has her heart on you.

You are just waiting for the Aqua to make her move then you will go back to her and justify it as you weren't right for the Libra anyway .... she is better off with her ex ... who she isn't even dating.

I choose libra girl.... especially for you mr virgo man.... think you want someone who is devoted and would end it with aquagirl after awhile for her wandering ways...

if this is all about choosing who to date and is not about the "illusion" of love. then why think about these women all day all night? planning about the future together? seeing one of them as a potential wife? then this is all infatuation?

..coz this thing can never justify the meaning of "love".

Think of the Libra, then the Aqua... Which thought made you smile?

LMAO.. DY thats not very helpful.. i can think of tons of guys i dated and liked and they all put a smile on my face 😛😛...

linwin,

the libra seems defenitely a devoted person, no doubt. i agree with you.
i think the points i struggle with though, even when i know she can give me what i need are:
1) i don't think *i* can give her what she needs and deserves right now...in a romantic relationship. she needs someone who is more sure about everything.
2) although the qualities she has for relationships are defenitely something i would like in the future...the facts we have today and right now are different.
i tried for all these months to relax and go with the flow, as she wants, but it's been very hard to just do that...

vgurl,

i think about the future, because for me "dating" someone is not only about feelings but also facts. so i've been about these two girls a lot because of 2 main reasons:
1) getting a girlfriend for me means being 100% commited to the cause, so it's a big step...because i've tried to battle being in a relationship again.
i've been in long-term relationships for the past 3 or 4 years...
2) one of the girls has a kid, and even the kid isn't mine, that involves more considerations and seriounsness in the case...i can just go with what i want...but what is good for them too...even though in my longs to help i'm sure i broguth confusion as well.

i like the way you analyze things vgurl, i do the same when i hear things from people. i really think it is possible to love two people, but sorting what kind of love you have is another thing...and i don't know completely what love is define us...maybe is infatuation what i feel, i don't know...it seems love to me, but what do it know...so what i wanted help with here is in dealing with this decision...because i think when it comes to relationship i'm still learning so i need some help once in a while.

i think you may have the concept of love more clearly than i do, i don't know, i haven't taken the time to analyze or connect with that always...so i can admit that, but i'm sure on my way and i'm not taking the possibility away...meanwhile i measure up the facts in my head...

littlesparrow, you are right, ms libra may be better off with her ex, but she'll have to move towards that choice at her pace...meanwhile i can only tell her what's going on with me. the decision to be only friends was made last night...and today she finally agreed with me. she says that she understands where i am and she will be the best friend she can for me. she's really great. i told her the same thing.

we may go for a coffee tomorrow afternoon, and we won't see each other for a while.
she wants to stay longer tomorrow, but i won't do that, i think it would complicated things again. i want to stay firm and for her to not get hurt.

i was even hesitant about meeting her tomorrow for coffee but she insisted that she wanted one last talk before we went our ways.
i'm sure we will still talk on the phone, but i doubt that we will see each other for a little while. we both need to sink into the idea and i'm trying to separate myself from her, so she can find new replace the time she applied with me...so the transition isn't as hard.
she was laughing a bit today, i like how positive she is, and i'll be forever here for her because of all the care she showed me during all these months. she has been pondering about other people who have been interested, such as the xbf she just saw...but she will date again when she's ready i'm sure. she deserves good things.

BUT i defenitely need to stay firm tomorrow night after the coffee i want to be the best friend, she also said she has found. i think this way it will hurt less and will be much better for each other. i will miss her.

meanwhile...

I also think it is funny that he is mad at the Libra for flirting when she is probably just being friendly and playful ... yet he is dating his ex and her.

Sooo although he is not loyal and faithful to her, he expects her complete devotion.

Virgos tend to contradict themselves like that. And they wonder why the samrt ones leave them. lol

*smart

P-angel,

Thank you for saying this:

"Don't stress yourself over the "worry" thing. Most non-Virgo's only look at this state as something petty, or self-inflicting torment, most find it quite irritating in the Virgo. But, it's a matter of your intentions, not the outside reactions. Virgo's ponder everything BECAUSE they care, not to be pesty worry-warts. They do this because they are concerned, not because they are looking for problems that don't exist.

I think it's quite normal and natural for you to come on here and ask this question. Knowing that you're a Virgo, I'd think something was off-balance if you didn't contemplate what's going on in your life."

It meant a lot and it is true, maybe some of our worryness can be percieved wrongly, but truly we just want everything back in order when things get a bit blurry...

I won't stress as much as anymore.
I have had a talk with both girls and they have been nothing but wonderful.
One of them and I said goodbye last night...it's going to be a while before we hang out again and it will be stricly as friends...and the other one is waiting for me to call her to see if we can have a chance to go for a coffee again and take baby steps.

So I have two new friends now, one of them is still a question mark...and we will have to see what comes from that...because I don't want to rush into anything. I think we need long conversations before we decide anything. Meanwhile, they other girl and I will take the time and distance we need so we can be very good friends in the future (if possible at all).
Overall I had a good weekend. Thank you for letting me open up here...how was your weeekdn P-angel?

Roxi,

As I mentioned above, my weekend went okay. I finally made some decisions with the whole situation. They both are my friends now...one of them is still a question mark for the future, the other will be stricly my friend from now on...unless something will radically change in our lives.

I think we all have learned tons fron all this. I hope things work smoothly from here on.
I won't see one of these girls for a whiiiile until we both get ready to be friends again...and I'm still considering about going for a coffee with the other one sometime.
They both live in different cities...so we need to plan things out...and while it is sad to be distant from someone you care it is good when things change since we both have the time and space to keep on going with our lives....

How are you?

little sparrow,

i was seeing the libra girl exclusively for months, until my aqua tried to reach me back, and then i ended things with libra girl but she and i decided to keep on seeing each other non-exclusevely. she knew about my feelings for my ex-aqua and she knew and knows about every coffee time the xaqua and i had...same for my ex. so i wasn't being unfaithful, everyone knew what was going on...i was just very unsure about what to do.

also, the pros and cons i listed were based on the time when me and the libra girl dated exclusively...and i did think she was a bit flirty...but like you she said that was just 'being friendly' and that is fine, but just as she and you complain about virgo i think there is nothing wrong about my comments towards certain things i notice with her and her sign...even the description of libras shows that is a little flirtatious nature libras have (i have a little libra myself), but that doesn't mean is bad, just something to watch out for...because while you think that is being 'playful' others may take it as being a 'flirt'...i'm sure we can go on and on with this and maybe you wouldn't agree but i know that is the impression some people have had.

we all have good and bad traits little sparrow, nobody is perfect...and there are good and bad guys...just like there are good and bad girls...and even all the good ones and bad ones are a work of constant transformation...it is the state of mind, time, circumstances that sometimes change the decisions we take...

if a person is aware of who they are. they can either stand up for who they are by being a one-man-woman or one-woman-man.

nobody would fall for a second best like if a man is a womanizer, or a woman is a player. i know i'm hot and my man is hot and he's not a womanizer, he's proven this to me because he know his boundaries. still, i can't believe that the "thing" you have for both of them is "love". for me it's not. sorry. know what, i admire your ladies virgowithalittlelibra, they are VERY civil who can still manage to be friends with you and know what they want. i hope your relationship with the woman you chose will last. best of luck!

sorry to argue but i've learned from my leo what a steady relationship should be. to love is to respect and appreciate another. i did have tendecies to flirt around with my platonic guy friends when i was a teenager and never really knew what love is until some man will be serious than me. hanky-panky relationships are a waste of time. especially when it comes to emotions.

Ata BOY! Sorry it took so long, I was "applauding". When is the Party?

Out of my friends there are 11 virgos' birthdays I know.

I hope things work out between you and the Aqua.

I also hope you will self-reflect on your immaturity in this situation. You should never have dated the Libra while you were pining for someone else. It always leads to heartache.

"I hope things work out between you and the Aqua.

I also hope you will self-reflect on your immaturity in this situation. You should never have dated the Libra while you were pining for someone else. It always leads to heartache"

I think what I have to do is learn to get in touch with my feelings...because I honestly thought I was complete over the x-aqua...so I was ready to move on...or so I thought...but I wasn't.

I think two lessons I need to take with me are:
1) To wait a bit longer before I date again after a hard break-up
2) To learn to get in touch with my feelings (ugh, very hard thing to do) and see if I do love that special someone...and if I do, even if I

...and if I do, even if I don't understand the feeling very well but there is that level of weird feeling in my heart...then I should just wait until I don't feel that way any longer...

Wait, but how can you stop loving someone if you loved them once...isn't it fair to try to move on? Maybe what I need to reconsider is the length of time....hmmm

oh and it's okay if dyrstr8z thinks i'm a player...because all i've been here is nothing but completely honest. it is okay to be confused at some point in your life. the thing is...we need to learn how to appropiately deal with that time so we don't hurt people in the way...and that's what i was after when i posted here.

i may be an anomaly of the virgos too i guess, because i try to at least find a place where i can be completely honest...if we were all to share the confusing, dark secrets we virgos have had or had...here in this forumm...i'm sure not everyone will judge upon one another. one thing i have to agree with though is me being indecisive at times when it comes to love...but it is out of fear and also because i want to make the right decision and for me that takes time...

It was obvious you weren't over the aqua. I even told you that straight up. You were comparing the Libra to the Aqua ... you even were annoyed that the Libra dressed up to go out with you, whereas your Aqua wouldn't have. THIS is what I am annoyed about.

You knew you weren't into the Libra. You just used her to nurse your wounds. That isn't right. You know that. You would be upset if anyone did that to you or someone you cared about.

The truth is you were never faithful to the Libra because you were secretly wanting her to be someone else. That isn't cool. You know that too.

*** because I honestly thought I was complete over the x-aqua

You knew you weren't. You just wanted to feel better now and used someone because it was easier than facing yourself.

It isn't about length of time ... it is about emotional availability. You were not emotionally available to be in a relationship.

BTW, I am not angry ... just trying to help you see.

little sparrow,

you can't tell me what thoughts i had and how i felt.
you can make assumptions, like you usually do, and you may be correct about some but far from the truth about others.

i really thought i was over the aqua girl, or maybe wanted to believe that...so whatever i did at the time...i did it with good intentions. i really did like and like the libra girl i met, thats' why also i've been so torn...

i totallty agree i wasn't probably emotionally available...but sometimes, littlesparrow, for people to understand and see that clearly they need to get in touch with their feelings...and i don't know why i have a hard time doing that...so it wasn't this evil plan i had in mind with ms. libra, not at all...

PLUS, i would have gotten over ms. aqua over time...but i got to know and see side of the libra girl i dated that i wasn't very ready for, such as the fact that she had a kid with some other guy.

you tell me, if you got involved with some guy, who is really sweet to you, but has a kid and it was your first time...and you wanted to see how that would work, but then you realized things wouldn't be as simple at that point in your life with respect to that...would the have the right to acknowledge that and stop persuing that relationship? would you? would that be fair? i think so.

yes i maybe wasn't completely over my ex...and i shouldn't have dated someone after few months i guess...but wouldn't it be fair, littlesparrow, to say that other factors may hagve influeced my decision?

why can't you see that?

i think you are hurt, because you think i played with this girl, when in reality she and i dated and were happy when we did...and when things got blurry we did what we could to understand each other...and now we are trying to be good friends over time.

are you mad, because some other guy hurted and you think that is me?

because i think libras are wonderful, i have nothing against them at all, in fact i love them...and i think you don't have anything against virgos either...but defenitely have some pre-assumptions towards guys a bit for some reason...

convince me more for me to be aware that what you feel is love and not just an illusion.

when you were dating the ex libra "exclusively" all the while it feels like heaven, love but when the ex aqua came into the picture you suddenly got confused? so how does that suppose to mean? you were exclusively dating the other just for what? and you think you love the other girl because you felt that she wanted you back?

months or years from now, whoever the person you end up with, you will still have the same kind of confusion/problem. your ex-aqua deserve a mature, stable, and more serious guy which i think she think you are but not really. you won't come here to ask for advice. you even do have doubts on who to choose among them? how can it be love? love is a leap of faith, you won't love the other if they're not interested in you.

what if the girl you end up with suddenly saw her ex and her ex want her back and push you aside how will you feel then?

you only base your feelings on what you see and hear not on what you really wanted.

you know what to do, you just don't want to do it.


"no offense"

No. I am not hurt or mad.

And no ... I am not mistaken you for anyone who has hurt me. 🙂

I thought you started messing around with the Libra after two weeks. I also thought you were posting about the Aqua while you were starting with the Libra.

Yes ... I understand the point about the child, as that is a deal breaker for me and I wouldn't be there after finding it out ... but you only broke up with the Libra once the Aqua came back.

This really isn't about team Libra vs team Aqua ... I tend to think that mentality is a bit benethe us all.

I just hate seeing people getting hurt.

vgurl,

i never said i was 'in love' with both...that is not possible!

i said i thought i love them both...and it is possible...and i tell you why.
because one of the kind of loves i have is that of care...i love my 1st girlfriend to this day...but i am NOT in love with her.

to be in love is just an state...to love is a constant profound care...it could be that of friendship or the romantic type.

i can love people...so before you to missread my words, you have to give me a chance to explain what "i think i love them" refers to...to one it is a profound care...to the other one, i don't know...it may be true romantic love...or it may be just an illusion like you said...but that we'll have to be seen for me...with time...because i guard my heart...i don't just go with whatever i feel..i study, i try to connect...

i think it is great that you so idealistic when it comes to "love" vgurl, but for me, not for you, for me...it takes more than just a feeling...

and i do not know that my x-aqua loves me for sure, she says that, but maybe she is also confused...and i cared for her even while she acted like she didn't care for me...so don't assume that i thought about going back to her because she loves me too...but as a result of careful evaluation.

i don't think you or littlesparrow understand that i evaluated them separately towards the end...the only reason why i opened up here is because i thought i could be completely honest about the pros and cons i saw in each relationship...i had no idea that it was going to make you guys get so mad or frustrated just by sharing my life...

vgurl and littlesparrow, it is possible to feel confused...and it is possible to have two people wanting a relationship and to have to evaluate decisions you make...you be in love one and you may care for the other honestly but not in a romantic way...

i hope neither one of you ever goes to a similar struggle, but if you, unlike you, i'll try to understand where are you coming from and i won't assume that much without asking.