I just need an outsiders opinion please.

So I've posted on here before about the Virgo guy I was dating. About 2 weeks after my last post, I took someone's advice on here and reached out to check on him. That led to a conversation about what happened, which led to us agreeing to keep in touch as "friends" while he's going through everything - no dating or sex. We've stayed true to that. We still talk every day and he has come over a couple of times - no sex.

So in all this he has opened up to me more and more. A few days ago I Find Out Something and I have so many mixed feelings about it.

From 2009-2014 he was seeing a woman off and on. He apparently still has feelings for this woman, and they stopped seeing each other last October. However, they still kept in contact up until A month ago when he cut contact with her completely so he can move on. His feelings for me are apparently the reason for this, and he wanted us to stop dating so he can get over her and have something serious with me (his words). He has been in something more than once before me and never cut her off before.

I think the fact that I like him may be clouding my Judgement on the situation. Can anyone give me an outside perspective. It certainly helped last time. Not sure where I should go from here. Stick it out? Just remain friends? Cut my losses?

Posted by busyeyes88

Continue to be a good platonic supportive friend. If your frienship is to develop into something more ie a relationship then let him decide; let him make the moves; let his actions show you.

What the fuck is that ^^^^^^^^^

So, let me get this straight ... your advice is to (pretend) you don't have feelings, so that you can act like a platonic friend.

In other words be fake.

All the while, waiting for him to decide your fate for you. Whatever his standards are, and what he will consider or approve of .....


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Not every relationship is supposed to be intimate, or deep, or so intense that you lose yourself. Some relationships are worth everything, but, timing isn't right.

You don't wait for him, nor completely disconnect from him .... you step aside onto another path, and go live there and see what may come.

You don't tell him, or pretend to him to be a platonic or casual friend, because that isn't the truth.

In a year, 5 years, or whenever your paths cross again, and you are both single and the chemistry is there .... then that is what came on that road you were on. So live it.

The problem here, as is the problem with all of these failed relationships, is that people have this irrational belief that people are possessions in where they want to control. You miss life that way, because you never got see who was in front of you because you spent all your time in fear of what you might not have control over.

Take a look at all the things about him, cement it in your mind .... then look to the horizon. Carry it forward now and each time. Then the memories you are left with are all good ones.

Posted by thisismylife2015

From 2009-2014 he was seeing a woman off and on. He apparently still has feelings for this woman, and they stopped seeing each other last October.

What the hell are you even doing asking us this question, much less spending your time thinking on it?

What? Are you trying to work something here? Are you trying to figure out how to change him?

What?

He has feelings for someone else. So, what the hell are you doing laying the floor whining about your feelings?

Are you a child?

Part of being a grown up is realizing that you aren't entitled to own people's feelings. The man is feeling another woman. Seriously .. hello !!!!!

So, here you are crying about it? What is it you are trying to accomplish here? Do you want him to feel sorry for you, so then drop her immediately and come rescue you from your insecurities?

so, you want pity love?

What? What is your point here, exactly? You tell us that this man has feelings for another woman, and you are asking people what you are suppose to do?

Really? It just boggles my mind that people are this emotionally stupid. It's like, once they feel something, all brain functions stop.

thank god my husband is a Virgo ... because I don't think I could handle so much insecurity as the rest of them.

@p-angel - you are mind boggling. Did you turn into a different person somewhere in between messages— How can the 2nd message be actually good sound advice, and the 3rd and 4th message attacking me. That's crazy. Lol. I kinda wish you just would've stuck with attacking.

Anyway.....It is not uncommon for people to get into dating/relationships with emotional baggage from past relationships. It is also not uncommon for 1 person to have feelings for multiple people, which is what is happening now. While I wish I would've known this information before starting exclusively dating him, I can't go back in time and change that.

He already dropped her for me. He has no contact with her period. The reason I came on here is I'm torn. On one hand I want what HE says HE wants as well, which is for us to be serious. On the other hand, I feel like I should move on.

Posted by VirgoFlirt
most relationships with baggage fail......that virgo will, leave you! why? ask p-angel....

he was never honest from the start!

Well we would have to be together for him to leave me. Or did you mean as a friend? Either way, his loss.

I've seen relationships with baggage succeed. It took time, but it did work. I can't say why he started dating in the first place knowing this OR waited so long to disclose it to me. Either way, it's time for me to walk away from the romantic side of this.

Thank you for your input!

What is his birthday?

Some good posts there by P-Angel. The stepping on to another path is an accurate take on life. Had that myself before. It's a shame but sometimes that's just how it is.