I need help with my Virgo ex

Hi,

I need help to understand my Virgo ex boyfriend because I am confused with his behavior.

He broke up with me quite impulsively four months ago because of distance (1hr by car... Which I didn't find to be a huge distance but anyway) and even though it really hurt me because he chose to let me go at a time where life was already very stressful for me, I went on with my life quite easily, spent time with family and friends, went out, etc. I also immediately went no contact and it helped me a lot, I had even begun to date another guy a few weeks after the breakup but I had to end it because my ex's behavior began to catch my attention and I couldn't feel committed to the new guy.

My ex made it clear that he wouldn't be around anymore, that he was leaving me for good and he even unfollowed me everywhere right after breaking up. But his decision to end it was made nearly overnight and I felt it wouldn't be the end of us. I wasn't wrong because just a few days after the breakup, his name began to pop up in my stories' viewers (even though he unfollowed me) and he regularly checked my profile, at least twice a week. A few weeks after, I had to text him because I was moving out of my last apartment and needed some stuff I had left at his place. He was more than happy to hear from me, wanted to hand deliver my stuff and kept the conversation going for three or four days. He wanted to talk about the relationship, said he had been an idiot and he acted irrationally, that he really liked me etc. I answered politely, kept it cordial but didn't cross the line. He asked me if I thought I was better off without him, I said it hadn't been long and I couldn't have a clear answer to this, which he perfectly understood. At the time I was moving out, getting promoted and my dad was in hospital so when my ex asked to meet me, I agreed but told him to wait until I get my life together again.

Almost two weeks passed when he would regularly check on me, just asking what I was up to and how was life. I then reached out to him and suggested him a date for our meetup. He didn't agree on the date and rescheduled. So our meetup was planned and I was excited to see him after two months, but then a few days before he canceled with a lame excuse and our conversation turned into an argument because I had had a very stressful week and was sleep-deprived, I attacked him and asked him straight away why he kept reaching out, why he talked about getting back together a few weeks ago and why he was so cold now... Yeah I know, I lost it and it probably scared him.

I sent an apology message one week after reading the conversation again, he read it but didn't reply. I then discovered he had a new girlfriend, or at least had been seeing someone because he posted her on his social media (1. He had never done that before 2. He took a picture with her that we were supposed to do together, with a certain pose etc.). I thought he was done and I didn't contact him since then, almost two months ago now. I left the state to be with my dad so I am very far from my ex now. But yesterday, I saw that he checked my story again, which hadn't happened since our argument over texts. I know him and I know that he never does something without analyzing it before, he is also a bit insecure sometimes and has a hard time talking about his feelings.

He seems lost, I certainly wouldn't and couldn't get back with him now even given the chance to, but I'd like to contact him after the argument we had, I wouldn't want to leave it at that cause we were very special together. Our relationship wasn't the longest I had but it certainly was the most interesting and he had agreed on that, he never loved someone like me before, we had a lot in common and he was perfect until he suddenly lost it on the night we broke up.

I'm sorry if it is long, I'd just like to have some insight about his behavior.

I don't know if he's still with this girl but I also know that she's been chasing him for months and he wasn't interested, all of a sudden after our argument he gets into a relationship with her and post her on his social media...

Thank you, have a nice day!

If dps search was any good I could link you to a similar question I answered years back.

Anyway virgos get into a cycle between

This relationship didn't work maybe it's my fault I need time to fix myself.

And

This relationship didn't work out maybe our partner needed more understanding and patience.

Everytime we go back it's one or the other.

Cycling back around stalking that person that had the most potential. But as I was told long ago don't mistake potential for.... ah shit I forgot that last part.

Posted by Weeds

If dps search was any good I could link you to a similar question I answered years back.

Anyway virgos get into a cycle between

This relationship didn't work maybe it's my fault I need time to fix myself.

And

This relationship didn't work out maybe our partner needed more understanding and patience.

Everytime we go back it's one or the other.

Cycling back around stalking that person that had the most potential. But as I was told long ago don't mistake potential for.... ah shit I forgot that last part.

Thank you for this

Are you a virgo yourself?

I just would like to know if in your view I could reach out to him, just to chat a little, cause I am afraid he's mad at me. Part of me thinks he'd be glad to hear from me, part of me is afraid he's on ignore mode and it will only make me look desperate...

Posted by Marinasunshine

Posted by Weeds

If dps search was any good I could link you to a similar question I answered years back.

Anyway virgos get into a cycle between

This relationship didn't work maybe it's my fault I need time to fix myself.

And

This relationship didn't work out maybe our partner needed more understanding and patience.

Everytime we go back it's one or the other.

Cycling back around stalking that person that had the most potential. But as I was told long ago don't mistake potential for.... ah shit I forgot that last part.

Thank you for this

Are you a virgo yourself?

I just would like to know if in your view I could reach out to him, just to chat a little, cause I am afraid he's mad at me. Part of me thinks he'd be glad to hear from me, part of me is afraid he's on ignore mode and it will only make me look desperate...

click to expand

Yes unfortunately I am.

I don't recommend reaching out with the amount of time that went by.

If he is still stalking you then there is a good chance he will do the same thing you did re-read old messages and reach out to you.

there is also a good chance if he is preoccupied with the current gf he will weigh the options heavily.

Posted by Weeds

Posted by Marinasunshine

Posted by Weeds

If dps search was any good I could link you to a similar question I answered years back.

Anyway virgos get into a cycle between

This relationship didn't work maybe it's my fault I need time to fix myself.

And

This relationship didn't work out maybe our partner needed more understanding and patience.

Everytime we go back it's one or the other.

Cycling back around stalking that person that had the most potential. But as I was told long ago don't mistake potential for.... ah shit I forgot that last part.

Thank you for this

Are you a virgo yourself?

I just would like to know if in your view I could reach out to him, just to chat a little, cause I am afraid he's mad at me. Part of me thinks he'd be glad to hear from me, part of me is afraid he's on ignore mode and it will only make me look desperate...

Yes unfortunately I am.

I don't recommend reaching out with the amount of time that went by.

If he is still stalking you then there is a good chance he will do the same thing you did re-read old messages and reach out to you.

there is also a good chance if he is preoccupied with the current gf he will weigh the options heavily.

click to expand

He can be quite proud, first time I reached out to him because I needed some stuff back, he was the one who kept the conversation going for weeks. I was surprised to say the least, I didn't expect he was missing me and wanted to talk but couldn't put his ego on the side to send a simple text and just start the conversation... He could be facing the same issue right now...

Anyway, as I said talking to him wouldn't be to try to get back together cause distance is even bigger now and I'm not sure I'd like to date him again. That'd be just that, talking to see where he's at, cause I'm not a cold-hearted human even to my exes.

Posted by Marinasunshine

Posted by Weeds

Posted by Marinasunshine

Posted by Weeds

If dps search was any good I could link you to a similar question I answered years back.

Anyway virgos get into a cycle between

This relationship didn't work maybe it's my fault I need time to fix myself.

And

This relationship didn't work out maybe our partner needed more understanding and patience.

Everytime we go back it's one or the other.

Cycling back around stalking that person that had the most potential. But as I was told long ago don't mistake potential for.... ah shit I forgot that last part.

Thank you for this

Are you a virgo yourself?

I just would like to know if in your view I could reach out to him, just to chat a little, cause I am afraid he's mad at me. Part of me thinks he'd be glad to hear from me, part of me is afraid he's on ignore mode and it will only make me look desperate...

Yes unfortunately I am.

I don't recommend reaching out with the amount of time that went by.

If he is still stalking you then there is a good chance he will do the same thing you did re-read old messages and reach out to you.

there is also a good chance if he is preoccupied with the current gf he will weigh the options heavily.

He can be quite proud, first time I reached out to him because I needed some stuff back, he was the one who kept the conversation going for weeks. I was surprised to say the least, I didn't expect he was missing me and wanted to talk but couldn't put his ego on the side to send a simple text and just start the conversation... He could be facing the same issue right now...

Anyway, as I said talking to him wouldn't be to try to get back together cause distance is even bigger now and I'm not sure I'd like to date him again. That'd be just that, talking to see where he's at, cause I'm not a cold-hearted human even to my exes.

click to expand

Cold war communication.. even the most prideful virgo will break down eventually it just so happens you chose to communicate first.

Thing is it can give the wrong idea.. possible why he avoided your text.

Believe me I can understand caring for someone and wanting to stay in contact but ahhh just seems messy.

He was your boyfriend and you are afraid you scared him away— girl...... Girl... !!!!!

Posted by Weeds

Posted by Marinasunshine

Posted by Weeds

Posted by Marinasunshine

Posted by Weeds

If dps search was any good I could link you to a similar question I answered years back.

Anyway virgos get into a cycle between

This relationship didn't work maybe it's my fault I need time to fix myself.

And

This relationship didn't work out maybe our partner needed more understanding and patience.

Everytime we go back it's one or the other.

Cycling back around stalking that person that had the most potential. But as I was told long ago don't mistake potential for.... ah shit I forgot that last part.

Thank you for this

Are you a virgo yourself?

I just would like to know if in your view I could reach out to him, just to chat a little, cause I am afraid he's mad at me. Part of me thinks he'd be glad to hear from me, part of me is afraid he's on ignore mode and it will only make me look desperate...

Yes unfortunately I am.

I don't recommend reaching out with the amount of time that went by.

If he is still stalking you then there is a good chance he will do the same thing you did re-read old messages and reach out to you.

there is also a good chance if he is preoccupied with the current gf he will weigh the options heavily.

He can be quite proud, first time I reached out to him because I needed some stuff back, he was the one who kept the conversation going for weeks. I was surprised to say the least, I didn't expect he was missing me and wanted to talk but couldn't put his ego on the side to send a simple text and just start the conversation... He could be facing the same issue right now...

Anyway, as I said talking to him wouldn't be to try to get back together cause distance is even bigger now and I'm not sure I'd like to date him again. That'd be just that, talking to see where he's at, cause I'm not a cold-hearted human even to my exes.

Cold war communication.. even the most prideful virgo will break down eventually it just so happens you chose to communicate first.

Thing is it can give the wrong idea.. possible why he avoided your text.

Believe me I can understand caring for someone and wanting to stay in contact but ahhh just seems messy.

click to expand

Well that's a shame, cause that's really not why I'd like to hear from him. I just found reaching out to be a better idea to reconnect that stalking my stories like he keeps doing... Anyway, he probably has some issue to resolve, or troubles dealing with his ego, or is feeling guilty, or doesn't care, and in any version it's still better for me to stay away I'm afraid.

If you feel he needs closure then contact him and give it to him. If he's checking your stories, he could just be wondering what you're up to now that you've moved.

Do you need closure or him? Cause you caring so much kind of seems like you do. If you felt bad for your reaction then reach out and let him know. The least you guys can be is friends or not friends. There's not much overthinking if you think you were wrong and want to apologize. Just go for it.

Posted by pisceanloves

He was your boyfriend and you are afraid you scared him away— girl...... Girl... !!!!!

You should have seen the way I answered him. No insults or stuff like that but I gave him the biggest attitude ever. I could understand why he backed off after that. Part of me is ashamed I let my emotions run out of control, part of me is very happy I finally bit him back and he was left with nothing to say because I exposed the truth 🤷‍♀️

Posted by saggurl88

If you feel he needs closure then contact him and give it to him. If he's checking your stories, he could just be wondering what you're up to now that you've moved.

Do you need closure or him? Cause you caring so much kind of seems like you do. If you felt bad for your reaction then reach out and let him know. The least you guys can be is friends or not friends. There's not much overthinking if you think you were wrong and want to apologize. Just go for it.

I think we both need closure at some level. Meeting up would have helped a lot but unfortunately it didn't happen. I am still very attached to him because we're alike in so many ways it gets scary sometimes and he left me without warning, then kept coming back, which probably developed in me some lingering feelings. I want to believe he's nice and he's just lost, he doesn't know what he wants and messed up (that's why he told me weeks after breaking up).

I already apologized ed for the messages I sent him but he chose not to answer. I left it at that, I wasn't expecting a reply anyway, just wanted to let him know I was sorry.

Posted by Marinasunshine

Posted by saggurl88

If you feel he needs closure then contact him and give it to him. If he's checking your stories, he could just be wondering what you're up to now that you've moved.

Do you need closure or him? Cause you caring so much kind of seems like you do. If you felt bad for your reaction then reach out and let him know. The least you guys can be is friends or not friends. There's not much overthinking if you think you were wrong and want to apologize. Just go for it.

I think we both need closure at some level. Meeting up would have helped a lot but unfortunately it didn't happen. I am still very attached to him because we're alike in so many ways it gets scary sometimes and he left me without warning, then kept coming back, which probably developed in me some lingering feelings. I want to believe he's nice and he's just lost, he doesn't know what he wants and messed up (that's why he told me weeks after breaking up).

I already apologised for the messages I sent him but he chose not to answer. I left it at that, I wasn't expecting a reply anyway, just wanted to let him know I was sorry.

click to expand

Just chalk it up to Mercury Retrograde. You've already said you were sorry. Let him reminisce, if he wants to reach out as a friendly gesture, then worry about it then. Until then just let him take a look and miss you.

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Marinasunshine

Posted by saggurl88

If you feel he needs closure then contact him and give it to him. If he's checking your stories, he could just be wondering what you're up to now that you've moved.

Do you need closure or him? Cause you caring so much kind of seems like you do. If you felt bad for your reaction then reach out and let him know. The least you guys can be is friends or not friends. There's not much overthinking if you think you were wrong and want to apologize. Just go for it.

I think we both need closure at some level. Meeting up would have helped a lot but unfortunately it didn't happen. I am still very attached to him because we're alike in so many ways it gets scary sometimes and he left me without warning, then kept coming back, which probably developed in me some lingering feelings. I want to believe he's nice and he's just lost, he doesn't know what he wants and messed up (that's why he told me weeks after breaking up).

I already apologised for the messages I sent him but he chose not to answer. I left it at that, I wasn't expecting a reply anyway, just wanted to let him know I was sorry.

Just chalk it up to Mercury Retrograde. You've already said you were sorry. Let him reminisce, if he wants to reach out as a friendly gesture, then worry about it then. Until then just let him take a look and miss you.

click to expand

I think it's what's best for now...

Posted by Arielle83

Sounds like you need to save him from his new squeeze

There's really nothing I can do for now if his ego is blocking him or something. He must have thought I moved on quickly when he first came back and I wasn't responding to his attempts to flirt, while the truth is I was just busy and didn't necessarily want to make time to see a guy who just dumped me out of nowhere a few weeks before, and it pushed him into the arms of the girl who had been hitting on him for months. All this sounds a bit too immature for me, really not sure I'd like something romantic with him again, I'd just like to have a little chat and bring peace between us.